7. The Lady and the Sheets

"Lines of dust adorned the sky, and I thought I had arrived in Hell. I prayed, but prayer couldn't even lift from my lips." - Ventyr Manteks, in his "On the Ael Velle"
 
Dear journal,
 
I struggled quite a bit to remember this quote. Manteks is a very good story teller, but I selected an unusually long passage from his book on the Holy War because, well, I think both stances are important. You see, we had finally departed from the Monument of Life and onwards to the Western Desolation.
 
It was a bright day, so we enjoyed our last time out in the calm, blue seas. We knew, all of us knew, that we would soon reach a land of terror. It could be felt. For now, no shores, only some very distant and small mountain peaks somewhere. But we knew.
 
It was a tense day, as such. I still talked to Bart about how to please people and not make them hate you. He has a lot of street-smarts and tavern experience, but with both lowborns and highborns, so quite diverse. I wish his brain were as high as his wit.
 
We were all curious to see what lay ahead of us. Heron and Verfys trained on deck, they have a very strict schedule as they try to get stronger and stronger. Admirable, not that I will ever be able to do any of that. hah. I saw Heron carry two crates at a time. I'd be smashed to pieces by holding just one.
 
Nixie is reading this interesting book on river magic. I will ask her about it, it sounds like an interesting read. Not that I want to learn spells (I can't, probably, do any), but river magic is very ancient and probably not even human.
 
As for Tallion, God knows whatever he is doing. Playing with his wand, I suppose.
 
As the sky darkened, because night was coming, we saw a weird mist ahead. Then we suddenly entered it. It was... Just as Manteks said it. Eerie, silent. But then, voices in Gavan. A horse riding on the mist. Memories and images, of long ago. Stamps left by thousands of years of civilization, ruined by Man's incessant greed and desire to beat God at His own game.
 
It was bad enough to be there, alone. Only that... As we were sailing around the Fools' Peninsula, we practically bumped into what seemed to be a fleet of 3 or 4 ships. Purple lights came from the shore, shining from the skulls of hundreds of undead. Poor bodies. I wonder what their souls feel, as their bodies are shamed and desecrated like that. Well, no time to think about THAT. Nixie invoked the winds, and off we went in whatever direction was opposite. Because they were coming for us.
 
We were fast, but they were just as fast. Seems a powerful lady necromancer, Seraph, was heading the ships. 25.000 gold bounty in Dushen. She also knew Talion. Cute. Talion has many nice lady acquaintances. But this one didn't seem to enjoy his company. Well, as we ran, she fired bolts of distructive fire on us, shooting down the main mast and almost bringing down the front one as well. She also blew holes in the back of the ship. Talion took to the sky, then, and did what I heard only the bearers of Light can do. He engulfed himself in the fire of his own spirit, and through him flowed the magic of the sky, and the Light erupted in the shape of two huge lightning bolts. Well, 4, because Talion had mirrored himself. The bolts ruined the main ship of the undead, and stopped Seraph from throwing those fire blasts.
 
I feel quite a bit of shame, because it was this holy, pure, moment. But I must admit I felt very, very attracted to him after he descended from the sky.
 
Don't worry, journal, he very quickly reminded me why I shouldn't.
 
We drifted across the sea, limping back to Gessen. We couldn't go back. Thankfully, no one came after us. We have to patch the ship. So we needed money. Naturally, we had none. I had assumed Talion would have more money than this. Had I known, I would have asked father for a loan. He's not using his money anyway.
 
Well, since we had to make money, we proceeded to give out whatever we could. I had to give up the necklace my father gave me when I was little. Uh. I'm sorry, father. Really sorry. I know you must think I'm a terrible daughter. But I don't need a necklace to know you truly love me. Plus, I'll get it back. I remember EXACTLY whom I gave it to. Some nice lady, an inhabitant of Gessen. Hopefullly, she won't sell it to someone else. And if I can't get it back, well, that's about it. I'll buy you something. You deserve it, even if you think I'm worthless. Or is it me who thinks that? I can't remember.
 
Anyway, I gave up the necklace. And Xebec gave his nice captain's hat. Hm. And Verfys wanted to give one of her Damashini-swords, but we told her not to do it. Bart gave up his nice pants. I thought maybe he planned to face the undead in his underwear, which would work, pants encumber running. Heh, I'm bad. I'd run too. It's not like I can fight these undead. Though, if they really piss me off, maybe I'll land a hit or two.
 
The Black Sylph gave up her own mask, a very interesting-looking wooden mask, painted dark green. While it didn't look like it had any magical properties or the like, I knew in my heart that it was very important to her, personally. I mean... And I really gave it a lot of thought... The Sylph wanted to stay hidden from us and the world. How she fell on that ship, I don't know, but she was hiding until then. And that mask protected her. She said that she doesn't want people to see her face. I believe a terrible curse afflicts her. Little morcels of her, darkened pieces like lumps of coal, had fallen off of her when we took her to the Monument of Life. It's as if there's barely anything holding the body together, if not for the spirit. I am sure the Sylph has an innate connection with the magical world around us and within us all. It means she has a connection with God, the likes of which we don't. Otherwise she would be dead. And hiding this keeps this tension between life and death in balance. I don't know. Anyway, giving up the mask means taking a risk, exposing herself if only symbolically, which means putting this connection in danger, by breaking the balance. Maybe. It's a big deal.
 
And Talion gave up his... sheets. Yes. Well, technically, he didn't even take them with him. Turns out Verfys had taken them from his Marion home, to be used as second-hand sails, if needs be. And Talion was very upset because Verfys stole from his house. Fun fact: the sails were for all of us. Well, I understand it's weird, and Verfys does seem the impulsive type, but... was it SO important? In the context of an Apocalypse, when you go to a journey that may very well claim your life, well... and all when everyone pitches in with some valuable, he HAS TO mumble some discontent while giving up on some damned sheets that he didn't even know he had!!!!
 
I just can't express how angry I am at the world. God, please, I don't want to sin, but I can't help but wonder: why did You give him, him of all people, the Light? Why? I know sinners are the first to learn faith. But that's the thing. Talion is not the sinner who turns to God and becomes His greatest soldier. Talion is the schoolboy goody-two-shoes who never seems to sin, and always sneers at the sinners around him! How can he understand magic, how can he accept the Light, when he can't accept some damn sheets being taken from him to be used for him!??!! To keep him and all of us alive!?!?
 
I don't know what that School of Magic does to you, maybe they morph you into 2 personalities.
 
One thing is for sure. I wish I could understand myself. Maybe then I'll get rid of Talion. I'll have to talk to him. I can't stand him. I want to whip myself. Why did I want so badly to jump in his arms and kiss him, just a day ago? Why am I such a horrible person?
 
Even now, I can barely write, I'm so angry.