Hideouts

"Seek an enemy hard enough, and you'll find him a friend. The reverse also applies" - Kretos Mapsyion, in his On the Rules of Law and Politics
 
Dear journal,
 
I haven't written here in a while. I was saving it for something more, but in the end a lot of smaller things gathered, I think. Well, I am in a good mood, we all are, so yes, why not write a little?
 
I've been very busy, you see.
 
Last I told you, we were having this talk with Talion and Heron. Ugh. I remember leaving. My head hurt and I couldn't endure any more of that "I wasn't what you needed back then" nonsense. I usually just start shouting at people and yell them whatever annoys me. And I had a lot to say. But... I was both tired and... I don't know. I can't really put even more on Talion right now. No matter how much I'd like to shout at him, I feel like at least half of those shouts would turn back on me. I feel guilty, of nothing in particular, just in general. Plus, he has his own fight to fight with the demon friend. If only he did it...
 
Well, they talked, and I slept. I got the better of that deal... The next day, we noticed Talion sleeping through quite a lot. And he was feeling tired even afterwards. Once again he was hesitant to tell us anything of whatever happened. I had a bad feeling about it all, but there you go. Talion being Talion. Pullius, sorry. I keep forgetting.
 
Truth is, there's a lot of times when I wish I had far less drama in life. But, again, there you go. Drama-Eve, hehe.
 
I have to add something. I felt a little... weak? No. I don't really know a word for "alone, but not really alone, just a little bit outside, and wanting to go inside". Something like that. We had escaped that nightmare day on the 13th, and we had the vote the day after that, and everyone was still reeling in from such tension and war. The mood was still gloomy and tense. We were somewhere in the middle of the sea, barely knowing, really, were we were, waiting for the worst and assuming worse still. But I couldn't think of that anymore. Sometimes I amaze myself with my own egocentrism. Truly a case for the mages of Ionolia to study.
 
Well, dear journal, you don't know me for a pretty little elegant damsel, or a patient girl. If I want, I get. So I went to Bart, and when he saw me with his pretty little face and bright eyes, I stopped dead. I honestly think he's much, much nicer than me. I think I had a few words, but they were gone. What was I to say? Hey, I know we're stuck in the middle of death and a lot of us died and we're in chaos and all that, care to kiss me and love me and have me and....
 
Yea, I didn't really use a lot of words. Good thing the fool actually likes me. I am the luckiest drama-girl egotistical monster ever. Hm. About that, usually I look like this little thing that you may characterize like "cute" or "mean" or "sweet" or "prick", heh. I mean, you know, either good or bad, but diminutive. Nothing too big. And in all books I read these big love things were about big words and feelings, you know. Beauty, passion and the rest. I don't really think I inspire these words. I don't know how Bart sees me in these moments. I mean, I think I'm pretty enough, but that's just a diminutive. Again. And he's younger than me, he's only 18 after all, so maybe that helps him see me a little bit more of a woman than I really am, don't know if I'm making sense here. I can't shake this feeling that I can't inspire much more. And I know I have this thought in the back of my mind whenever we are in bed together. I try to compensate. I don't know..
 
Go back to more maiden thoughts, you whore!
 
So we were again having a nice day with no winds (not unusual, just.. unnerving) and we tried to talk with Naked-Heron about his naked adventures. Well, after that I was... held up with the thing I mentioned above... so when the boat became unusually silent I realised something had happened and I told Bart. We got dressed as fast as we could and went to see what was going on. It seems we had found a Marshlander in our storage room, the one beneath the corridor. Strangely enough.... the marshlander had teleported there, using a magic ring. I didn't get his name at first. I tried to sound natural (I was there the whole time, right? Right?) but I think Verfi saw through Bart and I. Woops. Perceptive-brainy-too-much. Well, still, we got to meet the Marshlander. Marv is his name, a Lasmai Marshlander, so a lizard type. He's nice enough, very quiet and polite, I must say. I like him. It seems he's an old friend of Damaschini's, he also knew some of the others in Talion's old party. He had come there in search of Damaschini's boat, after talking to the guy named Mazog in Alomir (the one Talion didn't even visit...).
 
I must say I'm not sure about the whole thing. Marv seems like an honest enough guy, that's not the problem. But how did he teleport there? The ring looked... strange. Like a stone altered by some exterior will, to a great extent. Almost distorted. I wish I could understand magic stones more. I'm not a true scholar. Spending too much time on drama and too little on actual reading, Eve...
 
We then got to present Marv with the situation: we were stranded in the middle of the sea, near the Desolation. Yey. He didn't seem too pleased, but it's not like he could teleport back. That ring was a one-off. It felt a little bit amusing. He came to help us, in search for a cause, perhaps. I hope he'll find one, with us. He seems to have something to hide as well. God, why do we all have this?
 
You know Heron, right? Oh yes, Naked-Heron. I got to talk to him about his... problem. I was very open about it. I knew Heron for a good guy, so I treated him as such and ignored the.... mix of feelings I got from him that horrible day. I usually am more outspoken, but I limited myself to telling him how creeped out we were and how he should do something about it. He told me he can't really do that, he was born with an unusual propensity for feeling and getting filled with... lust. Some kind of special sense, which both cursed him with being perpetually stuck with very lustful thoughts and intentions, and (in a sick way) "blessed" with the ability of understanding the lust felt by others, by reading them. His special "profficiency" might be even worse, for he said he needs this like some sort of nutrition.
 
I told him not to assume he's the embodiment of lust, like he suggested. We are not embodiments of anything. People are complex things, after all. Even Eve is Nutcase-Eve, Drama-Eve, Whore-Eve, little poppy-Eve, paper-girl Eve etc. Maybe even Mediator-Eve, it seems, because I got to tell the others how Heron was feeling. He did feel a lot of shame explaining all this. I get him. He's a good man, again. I knew it. I felt it. It was saddening to me to see him like this. He is afraid we will treat him like some kind of monster. I get that he doesn't want it. So we shouldn't. I know it's hard, but I get that it's hard for him not to think things.
 
I had this very Eve-like idea of showing his trust in which I'd just strip naked in front of him, but I thought of what Bart might think and didn't do it. Would have been interesting to see what he would've done, but I do weirdly trust him at this point. Again, I'm mad.
 
He did come by later to tell all of us about his problem. We found this solution where we would tell him to tell us his thoughts, so that shame would bar him from thinking again, if nothing else. And this way he could "discharge" his thoughts in a safe manner.
 
We talked more about Talion and his dream, it seems he had a dream, about... ugh. We started talking a lot about all these problems, and I felt that everybody was frustrated. Verfys especially, who said we spent too much time talking and too little time finding actual solutions. As if I could tell Talion "eat this plant, get better!". What can I do!? Beat the demon out of him? Do the same to Heron? The world isn't full of simple solutions! I couldn't stand this impatience. You think I like these together trainings, dear journal? No, I don't! I live with myself most of the time, so to me it's not a pleasant thing. Plus, I have the diplomatic skill of king Haldric the Second when it comes to dealing with the smaller nobility (too soon?), so yes... Anyway, I said fine, lemme go and do something productive, and I went to read about runes.
 
I wasn't too productive, I was so annoyed. I can't stand feeling useless. And I can't stand being part of something perceived as useless, especially when I hate that something anyways, but do it for the sake of others (of all of us, really). Bart, always the sweet, came after me, but I wouldn't go. He doesn't understand I don't change my mind? I got annoyed at him too. I was Sourgrape-Eve and Sourgrape-Eve wanted to read her useless runes. (God, why have you made me such a monstrous mop?). Verfys came back later to tell me Nixie called us all in.
 
I had to obey the captain's orders. It seems that Nixie had something to share about Laimon. Remember the secretly girl cook? Well, I thought she was an Alomirese princess. I was close. She is Isbel Lofkia, daughter of the former king, and she's on this ship probably to exact revenge on Pullius. The man has talent, I must say, in attracting strong feelings from a lot of women. Well, I get her. It's a sad story, hers. Seventeen and on a path of useless and hopeless revenge in the middle of the Desolation, after her father and uncle were burned to death in front of her, while those idiotic underlings of Damaschini slapped them (!?). Maybe this last thing is some kind of embellishment. I hope. Damaschini strikes me like the honorouble type. Then again... I had heard plenty of the four-eyed warlock in his employ, or the shadow assassin named Cato. Where do they find people like this?
 
Anyway, a lot of hidden information. Talion, Heron, now Isbel Lofkia... All on this damned ship. Heh. It's almost funny.
 
After that, it was a quiet day, mostly. I got to read more. I started my Gavan lessons with Bart again, he catches up so fast..
 
The next day went a little more poorly. Well, much more. You see, dear journal, Pullius was in trouble with demons, as we all know. And had dreams now. Heh. And he didn't want to do anything to avoid a bad outcome. It was late, anyways. So in the morning Verfys saw Talion couldn't wake up (they were on deck, guarding our ship). She called some of us. Nixie slapped him. Still didn't wake up. I came too, to see what was wrong with him. He just wasn't waking up. I got to the side of bed and looked closer, trying to understand if he had been put to sleep, somehow, or... Anyway, while still sleeping, Pullius grabbed my throat with immense strength.
 
I understood then. He was sleeping. He only had his unconscious working. And there, our friend Axiol could work. And he clearly had help. Axiol could now control Pullius. And he did his job. The others came to help me out of the clench, and I exchanged places with Bart. But... smart Axiol... He had made Talion walk all the way to a knife (in the middle of the night, I presume) and now he used this knife to stab my Bart in the back. I tried to get Bart out of his grip, but he got to stab him again before I used all my paper-strength to hurl Bart away. Stupid Bart, foolish Bart wanted to stop me. Stupid, Bart, foolish Bart, don't be like Nutcase-Eve! I like you how you are! I don't want to like myself!!
 
But Axiol the sick winged lizard didn't want to stab me. He still held me as tight as he could and tried to kiss me now. Smart and stupid, what can I say. I felt so much disgust, but not at Talion, but at this sick little demon who thinks he can do whatever he wants with our feelings and toy with us like that. I hate him so much.
 
Before I could stop him, Bart got me out and replaced me with him. Axiol got to kiss Bart too, well actually it looked like Bart kissed him. DO NOT BE NUTCASE! Well, I think he had a point. I felt jealous. Not with Axiol, come on...
 
Well, now we both got to kiss him. I must say, from a drama standpoint, it's downright marvelous. Demons are very good at drama. But it won't work with me. I just felt I wanted to punch that rat.
 
Talion finally woke up, probably stirred by all that Bart singing from before the kiss and of course by the Bart-kiss (which truly is a very good kiss to wake up to, but NOT TALLION GOD NO), he had a very sane reaction at least (would've been veeeeery worried otherwise) and backed out immediately.
 
We carefully tried to tell Talion what had happened, but I had no time for Demon-boy, my Bart was bleeding horribly from two gaping wounds on his back, I had to try to patch 'em up, tried to get to clean them, but I didn't know what I was doing, I think I scraped a piece of skin...................... I am so horrible...... I felt so bad, I immediately took Bart to Vas, woke him up and told him to help us. He cleaned his wound and got to cauterize it with a hot steel rod and sow the wound, while the gave Bart some leaf which made him numb. But also drugged him. He was funny, my brave little bard. I took him by the shoulder and carried him to his bed. Imagine it, dear journal. Quite the funny image, eh?
 
I got him into bed and wanted to stay there with him, but remembered the Sylph was probably going to be in a very bad shape after all of this. Poor thing feels even more than we do about our own trials and problems. I rushed to the Sylph and..............
 
I don't have the strength to write this. We found her in the most terrible shape yet. Screaming, I heard those screams echoing through the ship. They sounded like small eeks to the naked ear, but no. They were massive screams of anguish. I could sense them. And she was trembling and drained of any strength. We tried to lift her and her little right leg... wasn't even attached to the rest.............................. How she still lived, I don't know..... I don't know a lot about her, save for the fact that she is the purest being ever to have walked on Earth. Even in that state, she just wanted us. She had no hate for us, who were destroying her with our stupidity, our fears, our demons, our arguments.... Verfy hugged her and her trembling decreased somewhat. We got her into bed just as Talion himself came in.
 
The Sylph, pure and beautiful and wise as she was, just wanted to hug him. Him! Not only did she feel no fear, or anger, or anything at the man that she suffered for... Leave that. That somehow wasn't the amazing thing. The amazing thing was that she, the Sylph, who had lost her right leg and had no strength to even sit upright, wanted to console Talion, who was just a little dazzled!!! How can one being be like this!? I get that the Sylph is an angel on Earth, not metaphorically. It just can't be false. I can't explain. It's the most beautiful... and sad...
 
I keep having these texts about her, dear journal, and every time these feelings are fresh and even more intense. Can you understand that? I can't. She's wonderful. And I fear for her. How close are we? We need to move quickly. There's little time left.
 
Finally, Talion decided to fight Axiol. Far too late for many things, but it's never too late in general. He did manage to somehow get rid of Axiol. Aha! So he COULD do it! I wanted to punch him to death, but didn't. I was actually strangely collected around him. I knew I needed to be nice. He needed me and I wanted to be there for him. At least now. I hope I helped as much as I could by telling him firmly to fight him, without putting more pressure or anguish on him. I didn't want to blame him, even if he had stabbed Bart twice and had caused the Sylph immense suffering. Well, indirectly, but still. I forgave him for all that, if only he could do the right thing. To his credit, he somehow did. I think. I choose to believe him. Problem is... he has a second, much stronger demon in him, who seems to prey on his helplessness. God, these demons really know what they're doing. He will be a bigger problem than the rat Axiol.
 
I spent almost all my time beside the Sylph afterwards. Reading about runes (I'm trying to find protective runes for Verfy and Heron, and some good magic enhancing runes for the rest. And I still think about a rune that I could carve on some instrument, for Bart. I'll see. I also tried to teach Bart more Gavan, but he wanted to show me his soul-music (he tries to influence souls via song, he's smart, I know, I'm sure he'll succeed). He clearly does it with my soul, heh. I don't think I taught him a lot of Gavan on that particular evening. Woops.
 
We also talked to the Sylph about old Elvish. Nixie was very careful to learn as much as possible. All this while, our ship was gaining speed more and more. We got a few good windy days, as we found land once more. Well, cursed land, obviously. We passed a strange, long peninsula. Meana peninsula, which was at the edge of Alghazia. Together with Pradis peninsula in Du-Ul, Meana forms the Gates of the Evening Sons, who defend the exit of the world into the land of the Sunset. There's a very nice legend about the Sunset land from deep Texxorian and Alghazian lore, but I never got to learn more about it. It seems the ancient Texxorians and Alghazians believed that two sons of a powerful being called Strul, sons named Meana and Pradis, travelled far west to search the gold of the Sun, which lay in a lair beyond the world. Mind you, these were legends borne out of a non-Singularist culture (Texxorian) but that were actually inspired by deep Alghazian lore (the Alghazians being the Singularists). The two sons travelled west, but learned on their adventure that the gold was not worth taking, it was part of the essence of the world, and taking the gold would have destroyed the Sun and turned the world upside down (there's the Singularist moral of the story, heh). So they built a gate to defend the Sunset lands, which they discovered, from the rest. Well, not much is known about the Sunset lands, other than that they were some kind of island beyond the sea with a huge treasure in it. I believe it's fictional, but who knows. Maybe there is an island in this mysterious sea.
 
Anyway, Meana peninsula had a strange fortress at its tip. It looked a little new to be Gavan, and strange. A different architecture, I think. But I wanted to go there. I mean... It felt like this ancient, tranquil place, maybe the harbinger of incredible secrets. I don't know, I have weird fixations. Good that no one else agreed. Nutcase-Eve strikes again...
 
I spent my days reading and teaching Gavan and talking to the Sylph and all. I feel good. We are making good progress. The Sylph, poor her, she's in pain, and can't really write that much anymore, but I keep her good company. I even made her a small chair made of sticks, so I could carry her around one day, when we reach the Place where Everything Started. I know we're getting close. We already passed the Gates of the Evening Sons, so we are outside Imperial waters, in the land of the Sapphire Fountain. We will be there soon.
 
May the Almighty protect us and especially the Sylph, so we may take her there.