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29 June 858 AC

Well it's been a while

by Eve Parion

"The World's an odd number, and I'm the one left out" - Tais Moldareon
 
Dear diary,
 
We are travelling to Vazakis island. It's a rocky place outside of Dushen. Not particularly interesting or nice, save for one small detail: a tin mine turned wizard's lab, about which I read in a book on magical research in Dushen. Why did I read such things? Well, I was curious about the methods. I mean, magic is so much more than simple math or chemistry or history. It's this blend of physical and spiritual, God and nature, human and meta-human. I admire all those who pursue it, and envy them.
 
I remember how I watched for hours how Talion trained in the arcanic arts. He used to do it very often in the park, late at night or early in the morning, and I would go with him to keep him company, encourage him and, maybe just a bit, understand something myself. But mainly I wanted to be around him.
 
Gone are those days.
 
I write these notes almost at a loss of words. I don't know. I am trying to understand how I got here, but I can't. For one whole year, I've been dreaming of him, first with hope, then with despair, then with spite, but always HIM. And I can't dislodge this weirdly powerful feeling that I want him around, or, rather, that I want him to like me. To feel me. To embrace me. To glance at me, maybe, in the way I glanced at him.
 
"You just love attention, Eve". That's what my friends told me back then.
 
Maybe. Who knows? I'm this hubris-filled creature always trying to be the center of attention. Like me please, or leave. Something like that.
 
I can't do anything about it. I stay here, in a corner, a forgotten something. Taken with, but not really. Why did Talion take me with him? I don't know. I can't leave him at that, I can't say no. I can't go back, that's for sure. To people who would see me as nothing short of some castaway, dishonourable woman. Yes, I bedded him. Numerous times. Cry.
 
I do cry, to be honest. I regret it so much. But it's too late. Now I can't do anything. Talion said we'd get married. He took me with him. He wanted to show me the library he left me for. Now he continues on his journey, our journey, really, to stop this impending doom. To find out why the world seems to draw to an inevitable bloodshed. Maybe save it from that.
 
I know I can't dwell on my own pesky, egotistical, narcissistic feelings. But... I am too alone. I mean I am physically in pain. Humans can't live like this. Talion stays away from me. I wonder if he cares. Or wants to be as we were. Once. Maybe I fantasize too much, and it wasn't that great. Come to think of it, he was always a little distant. He liked his studies, he practiced his magics, he went out to parties with me as well though, and walked with me, and made love to me. But, truth be told, it wasn't like I heard it in the good novels. I sound like the most adequate pathetic little princess, but I want true love. The whole package. I want to feel the physical and spiritual fire that makes a continuous need and that gives continuous satisfaction and completeness when you are together with the one you love.
 
So, yeah, I'm far away from all that. Granted, I'm far away from the snobs and hypocrites who used to deride me. But, that's not life. It's survival.
 
I sound like a real mediocrity. I should focus on the world's ending. Yeah. And take care of the Sylph. She has it really bad, not like me. I'm just a spoilt brat, like Bart.

Continue reading...

  1. 1. Unilateral thinking
    11 June 858 AC
  2. 2. I love peaches
    12 June 858 AC
  3. 3. Mannerisms
    16 June 858 AC
  4. 4. Toy
    21 June 858 AC
  5. 5. The sea is vast
    22 June 858 AC
  6. 6. Black and White
    26 June 858 AC
  7. 7. The Lady and the Sheets
    28 June 858 AC
  8. Well it's been a while
    29 June 858 AC
  9. Magic-men
    1 July 858 AC
  10. Last straw?
    3 July 858 AC
  11. Bittersweet
    6 July 858 AC
  12. Trials
    9th July 858 AC
  13. Cheeky
    9 July 858 AC
  14. No good
    9 July 585 AC
  15. Long baths - not alone
    11 June 858 AC
  16. Strength and hugs
    13 July 858 AC
  17. Who is heading us?
    14 July 858
  18. Dear Nixie
    14 July 858
  19. Where are we heading?
    13 July 858
  20. Hideouts
    22 July 585
  21. Home
    25 July 858
  22. The fight begins
    3 August 858 AC
  23. Fire and Water
    6 August 858 AC
  24. A little thought for my captain
    6 August 858 AC
  25. Enneth
    9 August 858 AC
  26. Smile
    18 August 858 AC
  27. Our journey south begins
    23 August 858 AC
  28. Sick
    27 August 858
  29. Betrayal
    1 September 858 AC
  30. Through flame and demons
    15 September 858 AC
  31. None shall stop it
    18 September 858 AC
  32. More friends than foes
    29 September 858 AC
  33. Night Encroaching
    30 September 858 AC
  34. Fish
    5 October 858 AC
  35. What is real death?
    10 October 858 AC
  36. As Above, so Below
    10 October 858 AC
  37. Let loose the dogs of Hell
    10 October 858 AC
  38. Trappings
    11 October 858 AC
  39. The message
    13 October 858 AC
  40. Eenie-Meeny-Miney-Moe
    6 November 858 AC
  41. Deep cuts
    11 November 858 AC ?
  42. Sapphire Sword
    11 November 858 AC ?
  43. Respite
    16 November 858 AC
  44. Heirs
    27 november 858 AC
  45. Multiple chances, multiple minds
    25 December 858 AC
  46. The Rains of Dusk
  47. The Speech
    12 January 859 AC
  48. Where we make our stand
    13 January 859 AC
  49. Our finest day
    16 January 859 AC
  50. Towards the last steps
  51. The Battle at the Tower (2)
  52. The Battle at the Tower (1)
    1 February 859 AC
  53. Years apart
    22 January 861

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by 3 Armored Kittens · Prodromos v.1.1 - World Anvil 0.9.15.045 © 2017-2025 [] | Anvil Time: 09:19, Aug 10 2025