Our finest day

"Folkmar den Ko, kautas an Rad / Folkmar den Ko, tir Vainen na Ko / Rona Darr ter Ad, til stren Vik Gren ve / Folkmar den Ko, Orkmaa pai stauve / Dran Kiij o Marr, ten Vatr i mauve"
 
Dear journal,
 
I am tired, but not nearly as battered as the others. Kind of feel ashamed of that, to be honest. I mean, everyone gave their all, and I feel I could've done a lot more... But there's no room to be selfish now. This day must remain, not just in our memory, but in the memory of all who exist today, as well as those who will come after. Maybe one day my children will find this journal and (hopefully) skip the drama parts and reach these pages.
 
And I want to remember it all myself, writing it all will only reinforce my memory, because in many ways I feel like what just happened is so unbelievable my own mind will blur it out at some point...
 
The above quote is actually an Orkmaaian poem, that their leader Seiknarr so graciously translated into Gavan for me. The Orkmaaians were singing it on the way north from the gate, and I was curious about it. It reads "Ice-wind blows, picking up the coast / Ice-wind blows, Ice-wind in my heart / Ashen cold on my eye, its sharp rock is my arm / Ice-wind blows, Orkmaa calls / Barren cliff and sea, They are home to me". I'm not very good at making up verses now, but you get the gist of it. I liked it, especially hearing it in their language, sang with low, almost whispering voices. They sang of a harsh place, a pile of rocks and salt and water that has no riches, is cold and unforgivable. Yet, they sang of it with love and longing. A place that made them tough, strong, unrelenting, ready for battle. I realized, then, how strong these people were, and I thanked God we had them on our side.
 
We were marching through the night, 302,000 soldiers, trying to reach the city named Focynos before the Undead did so. Basically, Verfy had reached the armies of the Continent encamped there, numerous, but battered, and told them of our arrival. Seems that their fabled king Ghebaro had been slain by Xantinya some time before. We didn't know if Xantinya was still around or not, but that threat was looming over our heads. We nevertheless kept going. Verfy promised the Continent commanders that we would get our armies to help them in time. But, for sure, the enemy had caught wind of our arrival and was also marching to fight the armies of the Continent. And while the undead never tire, living men do.
 
I was worried that our armies would be too tired to fight. I myself felt a little bit under the water, but the sheer adrenaline of the situation kept me going quite well in the end. We were approaching it, we all felt it. The big battle of our time. The fields of Vaken, where Izor Light of the Thirty vanquished the two lich lords... that was going to be a small brawl compared to what we were about to witness... I spent my time reciting prayers in my mind, trying to blot out all other thoughts... I knew that I had to be prepared for anything. There was no room for weakness, or mistakes. Too often had I blundered my way through fights. No longer. I knew I wasn't going to be the one to make a huge impact, but I had powers, important powers that could help others. I had to be there for them. For my friends, and for the entire army, if possible. I just hoped that I would get to stay with Bart. Selfish thought, I know, but at least if he were near me I would know when he's in danger, and I would be able to help him, more than just with our kindred rune.
 
I miss being able to craft runes. I had in mind a whole project, a rune for each of them, tailored to their needs. Oh well, I'll have to find another way. I was thinking about one, but it's only the start of a thought. The Word remains the driving force of all creation, so maybe... with plane-manipulations... I could, somehow, speak runes into existence... I don't know how, yet, and it's probably something for later. Ah, blind Eve, useless Eve, still trying to find your way, eh?
 
At dawn, we had already crossed numerous small rivers and marshes, as well as lush plains. Pomenia really looks like a beautiful land, shame those horrible clouds keep everything so dark and murky... As the sun rose, and disappeared behind the thick cover of clouds, we felt a chilling air. Or at least I did. The call of the ice-wind, perhaps. Or just the anticipation of impending doom. No matter what we did, no matter how much we would try, I knew, we all knew, many, a great many would perish. Would it be me? The one near me? Bart? Any of us? All of us? We didn't know. Who among here we would see again, and who we wouldn't.
 
But that's the same for all battles, no? By this time I've seen enough of war to know that feeling, you might argue. Well, yes, but not like this. Not at this scale. Now I felt not just that I could lose everyone. I felt even the memory of everyone was at stake. I felt that our own bodies and souls could not just be lost, but also used by the enemy, turned to monsters, imprisoned forever. That's what they want, in the end, no? Total control. Total domination. The replacement of freedom with one horrible irrefutable fate: damnation.
 
And so, this army, so fittingly made up of people that had fought for their freedom so many times, marched to meet this fate, and oppose it. A day before the battle, I had asked Lullaby about the morale of the army, and she told me not to worry. These men, she said, had fought for months against the Union, even freeing their old enemies the Vodonians from their yoke, yes, the very Vodonians who had ravaged and destroyed their country and who were directly responsible for the death of Lullaby's parents. The Vodonians who had tried to anihilate their freedom. Now the Redochians, barely recovering from that war, plunged headfirst into an even more devastating war against creatures that in their dimension belong only to fables and stories. But they would continue to do so with no regret.
 
I feel like the more hardship these devils bring on us, the more we find in ourselves the power that allows us to hope for redemption. I certainly feel so.
 
We had been marching tirelessly, through the night and during dawn, and still we couldn't stop. Soon we reached the end of the hilly land and plunged into a wide, shallow valley, when some riders bearing the flag of the Continent came to tell us the enemy had arrived first and were giving battle to them. We all kind of panicked. Were we too late? Lullaby turned to her commanders and Kelly and the rest ordered the army to start forming up in thick columns and march to the river. Then, a general put his helmet on, spoke some words to Lullaby and Kelly, and rode south to group up the cavalry. They were going to cross the river first and reinforce the Continent.
 
We looked at each other. The army was starting to form up in columns. We had to cross the river and get to a huge plain, where the armies of the Continent had drawn up ranks. The enemy was coming in full strength from the west, on the other side of the river, same side as the Continent. We were late, but not too late. We just had to cross the river in time to attack the enemy from the side.
 
I knew we were going to have to split up. Tallion wanted to go with the cavalry, he even had two Redochian knights with him who promised to keep him safe during the melee. Damaschini and Miyun were going to join him. Nixie wanted to stay by the river and aid the Redochians in their crossing, and Xixi wanted to use the river too, obviously. Verfy, together with most of the crew, decided to join the small, but fearsome Orkmaaian army, who by the looks of it were going to be the first to engage the enemy, I mean their swords and axes literally glowed with the desire to fight. This left Bart, Vas and I to go up the nearby hillock with Lullaby, Kelly and the other commanders. I was worried for Lullaby and her health, so I figured I would be of use staying by her side. The warning the doctors had given, that she may enter into labour any day now, rang anew in my head. That's why Vas was there, too, the madman. Vas always knows what to do in order to be of most help. I admire him so much..
 
Before going each to our chosen place on the battlefield, I looked at everyone and just dragged them in a circle to hug them all. We all did, tightly. I felt the emotion from everyone. We didn't know what awaited us. We had seen many battles by now, and in most cases at least one of us didn't come back in the end. But now... now, maybe the entire world may be lost and never come back. That's how it felt. We each went our separate way, after that. I prayed for every single one of them, and tried to hold in any tears. There was no room for tears, only for the loud bellowing of horns and for the rapid trot of hundreds of thousands of footsteps. The battle was starting, and the scale was astounding.
 
We climbed the hillock, which overlooked the river to its north and was a good vantage point, together with the commanders, a few guards and some doctors that were there to help Lullaby. That is when I met Ansar Rastel, Bajid's father. He is this tall man, quite intimidating in a way. He has that look Bajid had, which made you question whether he was going to be friendly or smash your head in. But he is, just like his son, a very sweet man. He was there to help and support Lullaby. He had heard everything about what had happened from her, and was of course present at his son's funeral, but kept a low profile. He must hate the attention, and I understand that. I could infer there's some complicated familial issues involved, since I know Gilders is Bajid's half-brother, they basically had different fathers... You get it. But yeah, Ansar was very determined to be by his daughter-in-law's side. She's family to him, and in fact, if you think about it, he was her only remaining family (not counting little Rafil of course, but we'll get there). He couldn't do much, on the surface, but I think his presence was crucial. And he was really brave to be there in the first place.
 
You know, sometimes I forget how these situations look for people who had never lived through such things before. Mr Rastel was a normal man, having lived a mostly normal life, certainly not fighting undead, spewing magic or bending reality. And then there's us. The paper-boy whos fist shatters the earth, and the Nutcase blindey who swings around with glowswords. And of course Vas with his light. Wonder what he made of all this. I'll ask him tomorrow, hah!
 
There we went on top of the hill, where the soldiers set up a tent. Kelly and the commanders took a quick scan of the battlefield and we went to watch too, and... my blood froze in my veins. To the west, I could sense an endless, and I mean ENDLESS line of undead, as thick as the raging sea and as long as the shadow of night which settles on the Earth at sundown. And just as all-consuming, but.... it shone. It shone with a myriad of purple lights, all combining in some abominable glare, which was almost blinding. And I could somehow feel this glare, feel it beyond the limitations of sight. For a split second, I felt like looking into the Black Hole again... I simply gritted my teeth, withstood the pain that had pulsed through my body, and focused on the warmth coming from Bart's hand, as I was holding him. I think I squashed his hand with my twiggy arms. And that says something.
 
Their army was huge, too, but compared to the undead it looked like a twig about to be broken by a giant's foot, or so I made it in my mind, given what Bart was telling me. I couldn't believe the scale of it, hearing how far away the corner of the army was. In my mind, I could see it all, the two massive armies coming together under that dome of clouds, where everything seemed enlarged, the air seemed heavier, more filled with wind, as if the entire universe, all 9 dimensions had gathered all their energy in this one place, this one stand. And in a way it was so. It was not necessarily a battle to decide the fate of all dimensions, not directly, maybe... But.. It was the test that the world needed. Were our values weak and fallible? Was Evil too great? Were we destined for doom? Or not? Was there room for hope? These questions were about to be answered...
 
* * *
 
I could hear the undead army as it was running towards the lines of the Continent. From the south, our Redochian forces had arrived by the river and were trying to cross it. The clash was going to be a chilling sight. There were these hundreds of thousands of people wearing silverlike armor, bearing tunics with the upright silver sword of the Almighty on them, and waving flags carrying the twelve-pointed star that is the symbol of God in the Dimension of Spirit, and also is present on the Redochian flag. And on the other side... countless black flags, with the red, vile, terrifying three-pointed lance depicted on them. Finally, the enemy was clear to all. Finally, the pretense had been dropped. There was no doubt, now, to whom this army really belonged.
 
I could not see the flags, and I hated it, because I wanted to have this sight in my mind, but I could hear the cries, and the shouting of the men, and feel their resolve. I could hear, coming from down below, the word "Nander!", which is apparently eponymous with "Together, under God" and symbolises the union of believers, the whole religion - which is called Nanderianism in their dimension and ---- yea, still doing stupid Eve-splaining stuff. Sorry, journal. I'm still insufferable, only just blinder to may own lack of taste.
 
Going back to the serious stuff, our cavalry had already mingled with that of the Continent, and we were impatient to see our men cross the river. If the Redochians would not do it in time, the lines of the Continent would be hit by the entire enemy army... then, the people on the hillock saw thousands of riders coming from behind the undead lines. Who were they? They tried to discern, but could see nothing clear from that ghastly distance. The battlefield was kilometers long... But given what Verfy had found out from the Continent army, I instantly realized. They were Kasparians. The people of the desert. Why did they come here? Why alongside the undead? I didn' know. But the people of the Continent had told Verfy of their army of cloaked riders.
 
As the armies drew closer together, we could discern a formidable regiment of undead cavalry. Their lights shone red, and we realized those were the Swords of Darkness, those terrifying elite forces that Damaschini told us about... Now Damaschini and Tallion, mingled with the cavalry, were about to face them... I started sweating nervously. I wanted to to something. I relied on Bart to tell me everything that was going on on the battlefield. I could hear screams, I could feel the light of evil, I could smell a foul air coming to envelop us... But I couldn't see any of them! I felt so useless, so... isolated...
 
I turned to Lullaby, trying to see how she was doing. She was not giving any commands, because well she's not a general, and she enforced Kelly as the commander-in-chief. Everyone accepted that with no qualms, and now Lullaby was probably wondering what to do, like me. I came to her and asked her about it, but she leaned on me and said she's not feeling alright. I panicked. Now? That's a very bad moment you chose, Rafil.
 
Or maybe not. What do we know? In the end... So much death and entropy. Only one thing could beat it back. Hah. Yea, Lullaby squeezed my arm, because she felt a huge pain. She said with a very troubled voice "it's happening. Sorry"
 
I shouted for doctors, for Vas, for everyone. Kelly immediately told us to take care of Lullaby, get her inside the tent, I immediately followed suit. Mr Rastel was also there with a couple of blankets and such, already arranging a bed for Lullaby. She was clearly panicking, not just because of the timing. She was afraid. Very, very afraid. I knew. You know, it's funny. We didn't have a lot of time to get to know each other before Bajid's death. But all that happened afterwards drew us very close. And even if she couldn't talk back, I did talk to her immensly during these months. And she knows me well as a result, but somehow I also know her. Not sure if by having those few dreams that I did, because I got to tell them to everyone, maybe it's what I felt while inside her memories, or... Maybe, in a way, like an imprint of the soul exists even in our dead bodies... An mind and soul shut to the outside can still leave an imprint where it should've communicated with us, and if you find that imprint you may begin to understand. So, I kind of know her well. Hah. The world works in mysterious ways.
 
I've always sensed how much love she had for Rafil, even when unconscious. But in the same time I knew she'd be afraid of this moment. She has been so weak lately, because of her state. She was so physically - and spiritually - drained that maybe she wouldn't be able to go through with giving birth to a child. I knew she was very afraid of that. So I grabbed her hand as Bart and Mr Rastel were carrying her to the bed inside the tent and I told her that she's strong, stronger than she thinks, stronger than Xantinya, for example, or her armies. Xantinya may raise one million dead, she may send lightning bolts across the sky and cover the world in darkness. Bah. Anyone can destroy. The scale of destruction is impressive, but it's still destruction. Let me see her give birth to a child, after just emerging from complete mental and physical shutdown. Let me see her try! I told Lullaby that his is her battle and that it's a battle she has been preparing to win since the start. I hope it helped. I knew she looked at me. Why can't I see? Sometimes I want to go on my knees and beg for eyes again, but then the prospect of seeing all the rest.... the hole, the eye... yeah, that stops me.
 
Anyway, by this moment I had no room left for what was going on outside. I had to forego that, no matter how much it hurt. I had to be focused on my task, which was helping Lullaby. I couldn't be in seven places at once. But once again I felt kind of pointless. Mr Rastel was there to help Lullaby, and so were the doctors and Vas. Lullaby had panicked at first, but she was starting to calm down, well, as much as possible given the circumstances. In her panting, I could discern her saying "I can do this, no? Please say I can" and I assured her again. Losing Rafil could have ... yeah, could have been the last straw. That's probably what she was thinking. She had lost Bajid, now she was going to lose Rafil, both being her fault, and in the meanwhile the world burned away and she didn't help protect it either. I had to get those thoughts out of her head. Maybe I wasn't so pointless after all.
 
Now I smile, but back then I was so panicked myself. Vas, the jewel of a man, was already ready, and told Lullaby to start pushing. I've never been more tense. What would happen? What could happen? I trusted Lullaby, I was just afraid of, well, the worst.....
 
Needless to say, the worst did emerge: out of thin air, a bloody tin-elf materialized, killing the two guards and three doctors. We instantly rushed to cover Lullaby, because the monster planned to strike her, surely. Then, I felt his blade, and I realized who he was. It was the original sinner, Xantinya's son. I materialized my magic blade and blocked his path to Lullaby, with Bart assuming position near me, while Vas had to somehow ignore all of it and focus on delivering the baby.
 
But how to fight this monster? He could manipulate planes and... I thought just "Fuck planes, fuck power. I will STOP him". The only way I figured, in that split second, was to use my magic blade. I would create something which he can't bend, something that will bother him. I channeled my wish to protect Lullaby and Rafil into that magic blade, and made it bloom like a flower. The tin-elf was actually distraught enough to stop his attack! But he very quickly recovered, and I had nothing left to stop him with...
 
Then, I felt something. Like a bubble of calm, weakening the leeching feeling I got from his blade. It was Lullaby, for sure. Fighting as she could, blocking his manipulations, straightening the planes... She was now effectively keeping the planes aligned while giving birth.
 
We had to give our all.
 
He certainly didn't. He marched to us and tried to throw us away. Bart and I tried to stop him, but he threw Bart so hard, I heard a loud bang way behind, I think outside the tent! I had to rush and check his advance, and I tried doing so with my magic blade again. I knew where to strike with it, at least. I felt where I had to block his advance, otherwise I am useless. But the Bart shouted "hit the mask". Well THANK YOU, where the hell IS THAT? I had to try to guide my blows to the feeling of distress I got from this tin-elf, and hope to hit it. I managed a couple of times, but he was relentless. He almost obliterated me with some kind of projectile, a spell, maybe, I don't know, very hot, and then he almost teleported behind me, such was his speed, but Bajid's father intervened with an axe and tried to stop him. All this while Bart shouted at me to use the extra time. I could feel time slowing down around me, a couple of times. My Bart was playing with time now! Trying to buy us the time we needed to stop the tin-elf and to buy Lullaby the time she needed to give birth to Rafil. But, alas, not enough. Finally, after a lot, and I mean A LOT of lucky strikes into that wretched thing's mask, it broke, I think, 'cause I heard Bart shouting. But now the goo was getting out, and I heard Bart rush back into the tent. The Elf tried to escape, he did, and returned as a possessed corpse, but Bart overpowered him, and then the goo came out and went back into his robot suit. I kept hitting at the mask hoping to do more damage but I didn't know exactly where I had to hit. Again, no eyes. People tend to forget that somehow.
 
Anyhow/who/when/why, I now had to hit the damaged mask while the goo coming from the outside was fixing it while Bart and Mr Rastel kept trying to get the goo out of there and into some sort of stuff, like pots and such, while Vas was helping Lullaby give birth to Rafil. Complete mayhem, I know. I don't even remember all the things we had to do to keep that monster away. I remember Bart running around the room with some sort of vase in his hands, trying to contain the goo in there.
 
It matters not. As poor Lullaby was screaming, trying to bring Rafil into this world, we were fighting with all our strength to keep that hideous being from killing them. And then it finally went away... And we suddenly heard a baby's cry. My heart probably stopped for a brief moment. At first, I tried to keep alert, looking for tin-Elf and his stupid tactics, but... he went away, the coward...
 
And we were left with one more among us. Rafil was born, healthy and quite loud, hah. I turned around and I heard him, probably in Vas' arms as he went to Lullaby's side to give him to her, and I felt this irresistible joy in the middle of that hellscape. I wish, I just wish I could see him. It's so cruel. I really wanted to. I've been waiting to. I don't know. I've taken care of both for so long now, I love them both. I wish I could see little Rafil. Still, that couldn't ruin my joy. And for a few seconds, that joy was everywhere in the room. Seconds ago we were fighting for our lives. But now, now a new life had come, and all else faded away a bit.
 
I wasn't so sentimental before, wasn't I? Hah, I knew how to hide it quite well. But deep down I am just a softie. A blind softie now. Which is worse. Still, I wept. I swear. I went near her and they all watched (and I tried to point my head in the right direction) as Lullaby held her son and whispered to him "Hello, Rafil. Mom is here"
 
God damn it Anevys hope you're not laughing at me right now I'm actually crying yes don't write that
 
I couldn't believe she did it, in a strange way. I was almost ready for everything to go wrong, but I've always hoped for the contrary, and it didn't go wrong, we made it! We protected them, and now Rafil was there, in his mother's arms, and suddenly I got the urge to go out there and beat all these idiotic undead and demons and whoever still thinks evil rules or should rule the world. If evil rules the world, why are people born? Each first moment is hope. Maybe we lose it on the way, but it's there, and can be regained.
 
Soon enough, people rushed in the tent. Soldiers from the command, hearing of the commotion with the tin-elf and seeing the bodies of their fallen bretheren. They all gasped when they saw Lullaby holding Rafil, I could hear their gasps. Then Kelly must've come in, because I could hear her poised footsteps, but even she stuttered in her walk, and then could hear her whimper: "So you did it. He's well?"
 
"Yes" I replied, before poor Lullaby could even say a word.
 
For a second, we still lived in that small beautiful world around Lullaby's bed. But we had to leave it. Kelly had brought bad news.. the armies had clashed, but we were obviously losing. Our cavalry was wiped out after horses ran from beneath them, riding towards the river... Sounded like Nixie's work, just like Bart suggested. THe right flank had then collapsed, and all sides were under immense pressure.
 
Kelly urged Bart to rush in and help the rest, while Lullaby faintly tried to say something to us. She asked Vas and me to help her. I could feel a very strong tremor in her voice, and not from her exhaustion. She had made a decision. She's a different kind of mad than me, you see. She is very quiet, very silent. Then she suddenly decides something, and not even mountains can move her. She turned to Mr Rastel and told him "can you hold Rafil for me, please?" and I could feel she didn't want to give him up. She almost couldn't. THere was such a long pause... Mr Rastel said yes, then an even longer one, before I could hear Lullaby finally giving Rafil to him.
 
I realized, then, that Lullaby might never see Rafil again, and I was suddenly overcome by sadness. Because... who knows what will happen? I mean... Ugh but then I realized something else. Bart was leaving! What if... agh once again I couldn't be there! I made him promise not to go and get himself hurt. Well, killed, getting hurt was kind of inevitable... And told him to watch over the others. I was worried for everyone. God I was worried about a million things, my heart was about to burst!
 
I hugged him tight and shamelessly kissed him in front of everyone, almost smooshing his entire face. I call it the kiss energy-ball, strikes fast and strong. Ashamed? Can't, I didn't see the others were still there. oops. He went his way, I went mine... The others left too, I could hear Rafil began to cry again, and Lullaby clenched her fist. I knew because I had just grabbed my hand, and she almost snapped my little finger. Must've hurt a lot to let go, but I knew she wanted him to be safe.
 
Or, he couldn't be safe with Tin-Elf going around. So she had to take matters into her own hands, and keep him away from Rafil. We both knew that tin-elf could heavily influence the fight. His presence was a clear bad omen. Maybe his mother wasn't far behind...
 
"Vas, go find in that chest some vials. They poured some adrenaline shots there. Doesn't matter. I don't need injections, I can use them as so. But I need your help, Eve, Vas"
 
She told us to help her get on her feet. We had to clean and change her, but I couldn't believe someone that had just given birth in such dreadful conditions, while fighting an immortal elf, could stand. But she did. Before the others left, in her confusion, she almost fell out of bed trying to follow Rafil. In her mind, though, there was sense. She was trying to get it together. Vas gave her the adrenaline shots and she somehow internalised them with plane manipulation, I think. She then started screaming, and Vas and I kind of panicked. I told her to stop but she just grabbed my hand tightly and told me not to worry. She would recover just enough energy to continue the fight.
 
It took a while to get her ready, but when she finally was, she simply thanked us both, hugged us and told us she'd never forget our aid. Then, she vanished.
 
"What now, Vas?"
 
"Now we go and fight, too"
 
I told him to stay there, help Kelly and Mr Rastel and keep an eye on Rafil. He reluctantly accepted. I wanted to rush down the hill towards the fight, find Bart and the rest and continue. Everyone was giving their all. I had to do the same, right? I wasn't even tired. Or properly wounded. I even had most of my energy. I could fight!!
 
As I exited the tent, though, I heard a weird sound in the air. And the wind was more violent than ever. Then, a deafening sound like the skies themselves were breaking. I remember having my brain shattered by a million shrieks. All those shrieks I heard in the Black Hole came back. I think I lost consciousness, but only physically. Spiritually, I felt it all, like a knife in the dark, pulling at my skin and into my head. I suddenly felt bent by the will of another, forced into the ground, crushed.
 
I rose with a thousand hates in my heart, like a torrent of fire. I raised my hand and I think even cast something, I don't know. She had come. I knew it. Xantinya. Ah, the demons were dancing! Ah, the joy! The joy of slaughter! It echoed in my brain, but my braind had seen Rafil and his cry and then his small giggle when Lullaby took a hold of him, and now I couldn't be swayed.
 
The ferocious monsters! I don't know if I was awake or not. I can't see, and that doesn't help when all your other senses are destroyed by this hell. I think I started rolling down the hill like a boulder. I cast my teleportation spell, hoping for it to work. Of course it didn't. I couldn't stand the damn thing!! I wanted out, but there was no out of my brain. The same black engulfed all, wherever I go. It's called being blind, I know, but... I wanted to see something else! Anything! The pain was so unbearable, I think I threw up.
 
I also remember pulling some of my hair off, trying to feel some other pain, any kind of pain but this. God, it was intense! The demons were dancing on my chest, and I couldn't breathe! Still, I tried to get my legs moving, and I continued stumbling down the hill. As I did, I could feel the swirls of hate from all around. Our men were faltering. Slowly, but surely. Xantinya had come, and she was taking everybody down with her.
 
But then I felt a distant clash, and I knew a big fight had started. Everyone was probably fighting now. I knew that Bart and NIxie and Verfy and Tallion and the rest would fight Xantinya and maybe tin-elf too. I had to go. BUt they were far away, and, again, I HAVE NO GODDAMN EYES. I started invoking whatever could make me go faster. I propelled an energy ball into the ground to make me fly, but that only shattered my bones. Tallion taught me this trick, he learnt it from a colleague named Baldur a couple years ago. Huh, bad technique. I tried to run on all fours or something. I even contemplating going into the sky and going all out on whatever was in front, but I was too afraid of hitting our own people. So, I kept running, fighting desperation and pain at every step.
 
I managed to get to what I think were the backlines. But people were shouting "Ikhains have come, they are hitting from behind!" and I shuddered. I had completely forgotten about Ikhains! Oh, god, it was going to be a long day... I continued rushing and gushing for air as I did, must've looked the proper fool... By that time, I felt a call. The kindred rune! It flashed in magic, and then with it came a feeling, it was Bart, I felt it, he was worried for Lullaby. She was probably fighting Xantinya. I immediately chanted a prayer, trying to help. I didn't know where she was, but I felt her need of me, and let that guide me through the magic link of the kindred rune. Have no time to explain how points on the plane communicate. This is the big intense part. So now I was helping Lullaby best I could.
 
When I felt that axe fall on my neck. Goddamn, not again! You insufferable idiot, Balan! How can EVERYTHING fall on oh well I guess they really want Lullaby dead. Fuck that. I rushed even more, but I felt Balan physically strangling me for every second I kept the spell going.
 
At some point, the ground shook, and I heard screams, and the earth itself started cracking. God... I didn't see where I was going, but God saved my life, I didn't fall in no crack in the ground. Good thing I'm frail and small and got round the thick lines of Redochians, but just as I was doing so I heard screams, and fire. Shouts: "she's shooting fire! Duck". Shooting fire? "Who?" "that woman coming from the undead lines!". Necromancer woman with fire spells... was it Seraph? Remember Seraph, dear journal? Tallion's disgruntled Dushen fan? Ugh, Tallion, clean up your own mess! I now had to face her to get to the big fight.
 
But where was she!? I cast a mirror of myself and started purging the hell out of those undead, hoping to confuse her. I moved somewhere behind some Redochians. One of them told me where Seraph was going, and then went in against the undead to give me an opening. I rushed behind him and then shouted: "Seraph!"
 
The dumb whore answered: "who are you!?"
 
Someone smarter than you, obviously. She had just given up her position. I prepared my strike. She attacked me with a twin fire spear spell, but I shrugged it off. Have no time for that nonsense. I charged with my arcanic blade. Didn't expect that? Then get out of my way!
 
Eh, I play the hero now. I was useless. I struck her once, then she crushed me. Truth is, I've never felt more useless in my life. I couldn't see her, I didn't know what to do against her... I couldswing at her, but she cast some sort of shadow over me, and I could feel it feeding off my sanity.... I collapsed. It was too much, too much. I wanted to scrape my eyes out of my face, but whoops I already had no eyes! Goddamnit, Eve, why can't you resist their magic!?
 
Then, I felt a movement. Not in the air, but, like, within me, and within everyone around. And for a second, the eternal darkness of my present world lit up. And in that sheer white, I... I saw. I saw dad, smiling. He was holding this woman I had never seen in my life, with a very small child in her arms, much like Rafil probably was...
 
It was mom. And my brother, who never made it past his first minute of life. I looked at them, and couldn't believe what was happening. Did I die? I felt that I was dead. I was seeing, and I was seeing them... Dad died, I knew, Goddamnit, but still I clang to some stupid small hope, down there in my heart, that he may have survived... But I couldn't believe what was happening. Mom? I almost forgot I had one, at times, I felt so ashamed, I wanted to fall into Hell and ask for forgiveness from there....... I glanced at her and was shocked, she looks nothing like me, nothing. So when dad shouted at me, back then, that he'll teach me to behave and be a kind girl, like my mother, he really knew what he was saying. Her smile, her wide smile, which I could barely remember, was now more vivid than ever. But, alas, she was not the smile of a memory. It felt like her, and her smile was directed at me. It was not a smile to the world, or to blank space, but to me, to me, the blind mad pervert Nutcase. The barging idiot who charged blind with a small magical toothpick against an almighty necromancer. And, no matter how much of a difference there was between us... I felt glad. I felt, well... loved.
 
And seeing my brother for the first time, I realized how much I missed him without even knowing him. Just knowing I should have had a brother... it has secretly haunted me all this time. Alas, I could find some semblance of peace. I could see them, all three of them, a family. A happy family, like they all deserved.
 
Goddamnit, dad, you ran your wide mouth and couldn't lay low in Worania, didn't you? Then you are no better than me. You taught me to be a good girl, but you showed me to be a blind-charging madman. So, I asked him to help me be a blind-charging madman.
 
And I felt liberated by all that peace this split second gave me. I felt anew. I... I can't explain it in words, it would be unfair and just pathetic, when it should come across as blissful. Well... I knew I had one shot. Dad would guide me. I empowered the only mark I knew and got the mirror to miss it. Seraph tried to hit me, but I blocked her spell and then unleashed a huge ray of light from above, and from my clone too, discharging the mark and showing that stupid necromancer that Eve Parion is a mad Nut, but a tough Nut at that!
 
Of course, it was far from enough to beat her, but I had all the energy in the world now. I struck again, guided by Dad as I was. I don't know, I felt this girlish joy not because I was fighting the necromancer of course, but because I could feel Dad was proud of me. Like back when I got his questions right and he would treat me to an expensive piece of chocolate. He always had a small stash and hid it very well. Fed as I was by my mental chocolate stash, I continued, but the necromancer brought me down again. In no time, I was back on my feet and trying to attack again, when suddenly the whole world trembled. A bellow could be heard from underground. Once again, the shouts, but oh boy, they were not in my head.
 
They were here.
 
The shadows of the world were rising. I felt it, didn't have to see it. Screams, countless screams, and death. I felt a thousand knives pierce me, and a mist engulfing me. But I held strong, I held the last words I told Bart, and I held Rafil's cry, and Lullaby's joy, and what hope I had left, quite a lot, to be fair, which kept me going.
 
I don't know how I survived, but I could hear the others dying. I turned to strike at Seraph, but she was afraid too. The shadows didn't discriminate. She shrugged off some of them, but then she ran behind the ranks of rapidly advancing undead. But there was no escape. We were all going to die. Like... like a huge sacrifice to the bloody Devil.
 
Then........ it all stopped. The shadows began to dissipate, and the continuous bellowing started to calm down. And then, it all fell silent. Silent as the grave. And then, just the wind, blowing. I turned around, screamed for help, but the Redochians came by my side and told me the undead were retreating.............
 
And I fell on my knees. THey were? What on Earth had happened? I got back up. I was overcome by joy. Did we win? Could it be? I asked the Redochians. They were just as confused as I am. But then I started hearing shouts. "They are going back. We won!"
 
Still, no joy, just.... peace. Exhausted, soldiers were just falling to the ground. I rushed to where I felt Bart could be, and he soon spotted me and went to get me to the others... Nixie was there, and Tallion, and Verfy, and Marc, Drenizek, Dillen, Damaschini and Miyun. I went and hugged them each, but then I heard Lullaby had collapsed to the ground. I went in to check up on her, but then Verfy collapsed, too, it seems. They were all within an inch of their life.
 
They had fought Xantinya and tin-Elf. And they held on. I told you, Master. I told you back in xy, after the Black Hole, there is revolt against you. We stood against you.
 
I couldn't believe it... Then I heard Marc's cries and so I heard that Isbel had perished. And then Nixie told us Xixi had died as well, fighting the bloody goddamn tin-elf.
 
I had so many feelings, still got them, it's hard to write. The goddamn time won't let me. And I feel I've exhausted poor Anevys. But... I have to say. I felt gutted, but it was not a new feeling. I don't know, now that the battle was over, I could let go of my emotions, and I started crying for Father and Xixi and Isbel. And when I heard Nixie's brother had died in battle before I cried for him as well. And I cried for Tallion's father too when he said he had seen him too. Goddamn so many good people to cry about.
 
In a way, that made this whole hell more bearable. Imagine living through hell and having nothing good to cry about. But all these great men and women... They truly are worth crying for. Knowing that they existed in our lives makes this whole hell more bearable. Hear that, filthy demons? You can't break me! You broke me too many times already, it's your fault.
 
Eh, I play the brave card now. I probably am devastated. But, to be fair, I'm a little in shock. At first I was scared for Lullaby and Verfy. Verfy was in pieces, and Lullaby's body had baiscally stopped functioning. Thank God the fabled Semanes that had fixed Drenizek in Enneth were here to fix them as well....
 
But then, as the battlefield calmed down, I heard what had really happened. The real story of the great fight for our world. As Lullaby and our party fought Xantinya and the tin-Elf and liches and undead... Haldric showed up and fought alongside Xantinya. Until Xantinya, unable to break Lullaby, unable to break Nixie (that's a whole other story with Nixie's whitefire power and her dream with the burning diamond, but we'll get there) started giving ground, and then decided to go all out and unleashed those shadows. And then Haldric asked her to stop, to spare his men. And Xantinya wanted to, and there was this fight with tin-Elf, who wound up killing Haldric. That's when Xantinya, enraged, hit him hard, then suddenly flew away, her army following suit....
 
I was shocked to hear how Nixie whitstood the Tin-Elf, and even the big Master himself, and protected Lullaby from Xantinya. And how Tallion and Damaschini destroyed half the Swords of Darkness, or pushed Mal-Abanr, lich-lord of Gava, away, or how Verfy fought the Orcish general and destroyed a lich.. And many, many more... But most shocking for me was to hear Xantinya had heeded Haldric's plea and stopped the complete massacre. What that means, I still ponder. Our values had won, in some very weird ways.
 
So did the armies of Good resist. But the war is not over. Filthy solstice is still coming.
 
May the Almighty rest the souls of all who had perished in this war, now or before. And the souls of those poor people whos bodies were used against us, unwillingly. May they all find peace and fulfillment in Heaven.
 
P.S.: Goodbye, Dad. I never had the courage to write about you in here, not too much, anyway. I still hoped you were alive. You were not, but still saved my stupid hide from well-deserved death. You always knew what to say and do, didn't you. I felt that you died with your dignity. I'm proud to be your daughter. I'll never forget you. Same to you, Mom, though I never really got to meet you before, I had the incredible privilege of doing it now... And same goes to you, Brother. I'm glad you are all together.
 
P.P.S.: goodbye, you wonderful blue one-eyed warrior. Teaching you Woranian was my single greatest achievement. I hope still that you let that bastard tin-elf know a piece of your mind before he cowardly used plane-bending to beat you. Thank you for coming with us, and keeping us alive. You were the most faithful of us, I know it.
 
P.P.P.S.: I heard you fought valiantly, princess Isbel. I'll make sure your name endures. You are a model to me and should be to your people. They are still alive, I'm sure, and I will help them. Rest in peace, Isbel. We'll keep Marc safe for you.
 
*smudge*