The message

"Gather, Men of Faith as you are. Faithful you may not be, or just, or pure. We are all sullied. But we are of Faith, and it owns us all. That is how we shall march" - Illien the Great, at the end of his Call, the letter gathering the Ael Velle.
 
Seriously, Eve, you said you won't write anymore, and here we are, one day later. Well technically it's the 13th of October already, I think it's still the dead of night, or maybe early morning. In the Kataria castle it's always daytime anyway...
 
Well, I decided to continue writing. Some events have transpired which made writing in you... possible, again, I think. But I'll probably start debilitating some very dangerous nonsense again. You've been duly warned. Axe-Eve is now in control. In that i will axe anyone and everyone. Don't worry, I can explain. It's called being punished accordingly.
 
But before any of that, I owe myself and especially the others some storytelling. You know, about what happened in xy. Because I really skipped through a lot of stuff. First of all, the problem we had. We were in xy and had no idea what to do here. We weren't alone, either. Xantinya was there too. I didn't mention it, but she came after us right after we crossed into xy, and then did something.... or rather something happened to her. She reunited with all her selves. I should have known. For a demon, who exists in the same time in all Dimensions, to take up physical form... it wouldn't be able to do so in all Dimensions at once, obviously. A physical form has to pertain to one of the 9. So she had to... split herself, somehow, in order to take up these physical forms. That is why there was a Xantinya in Lullaby's Dimension but also one in the Continent of Elements, at the same time... Well, now that her consciousness from our Dimension visited all the other 8.... she's in full form. One body, one soul, one power.
 
She truly looks demonic now. Larger, gleaming in that gross bright light, that only shines in its malevolency.... With black wings, the black wings that were cast down into shadow after she whispered to her son the idea of the first Crime on Earth. And then she morphed into a black ray and dissapeared. Not a black ray, actually. A comet. A comet that now travels this Dimension, spreading fear. For, you see... Of course it was not unintentional. There's a prophecy here, in xy, that a black comet means war and the fall of their greatest nation, the Commonwealth of Star Sectors under the Zidith-Sect (CSSZ). We had to somehow.. stop that? It wasn't clear how. We clearly needed more info, but we were not just outcasts, but soon to be fugitives...
 
At the time my insane mind put a stop to you, poor journal, silly journal, monster-journal I hate and wish to burn, we were trapped in a white cube with no visible exits. It was an illusion of infinite space, because there were no shadows, no... nothing. Horrifying. Anywhoo, since we couldn't escape, we wanted to focus on helping Lullaby. We all had some kind of sleep on that white cold floor.... When we woke up, Tallion told us that he had a dream. I was surprised, if anything I expected myself to have a dream, not the oaf who can barely read his own
 
Sorry, Tallion, it seems my mind thinks it's a good idea to write this nonsense. Imagine if I were to speak words into you, dear journal, like Kelly speaks into those screens to search for information... Scratching that vile remark, we got to listen to Tallion's dream, which was yet another scene from Lullaby's point of view. A discussion between her and this Sikorki guy whose name had popped in my head about my dream. Sikorki was about to face the Five, who it seems were these immensly powerful interdimensionals, so powerful they could influence history to their liking and who didn't even live on any of the Dimensions per se, but suspended in a world of their own making, like gods. And they probably thought of themselves as gods. Sikorki told Lullaby to stand back with the rest of his followers, and let him battle them on his own. Lullaby objected, but Sikorki insisted that this fight would be his alone. It seems Sikorki understood the danger and evil of trying to annihilate the Five. But he saw it as necessary. As long as the Five exist, he said, the world could not move forward. Therefore... someone had to take it upon themselves this evil, the evil of annihilating them. It would be him. He reminded Lullaby of the sword, and told her she would be able to do great things for the world, afterwards... then, Lullaby said something, but Tallion could not figure out what in his dream. Sikorki had one last moment, in which he hugged her, and then turn around and dissapeared beyond a hill, to fight the Five.
 
Back then I had all sorts of parasite thoughts, but now, thinking more clearly... I have to say this Sikorki guy had a lot of courage. He died in that battle. Probably on purpose. I mean surely. Had he lived... He would have replaced the Five... Maybe if the other interdimensionals had bloodied their hands with that fight, they would have simply replaced the Five. But this way he hoped for this cycle to be broken. With his soul as sacrifice. Wow....
 
It's a shame that many of his followers turned their backs on his legacy. He clearly sounds like the kind of man I'd be dying to meet.
 
We understood that Lullaby's spirit was very much alive, just... trapped, in some way. To reach it, we needed something, a lever, a path, and we thought of the sword. We used the sword, since it probably has a shard of Lullaby's spirit by now. And then our minds were bombarded by these small shards of her memory. I don't know what others saw or felt. It was kind of wrong to absorb all that, but we couldn't help not doing it. I felt fire, and cold, and I saw a woman throwing a chair. Damaschini did something, because he became very startled, and then the thought of Sea flooded my mind. We all thought of her, as she was the one that brought us all together. I must say, I have never met anyone who lived up to her name so much as our little angel, who continues to make and tighten the bonds between so many people. And not just people she met. Think of Kelly.
 
Yes, I finally feel something good! Like a fuzzy warm blanket. That's my Sea. Thank God for her. I don't have the best company these days, when I'm on my own in the dark. I'll get back to that. The candlelight sometimes reveals unpleasant shadows...
 
Something happened, then, and Lullaby extracted a shadow from inside her, and cut in in length, and the shadow... spread. Then, she fell back in her normal state. I don't know what I had seen. Was she conscious? No, I don't think so. But I think that her drive to save her son had awoken, and she undid that monstrous plane bending Xantinya did to curse her child...
 
Alas... we did it. Rafil was safe. I did not feel relieved, but angry. Angry that she was back in her state, with us having nothing else to do. I wanted to save her, not just prolong this.... Ugh! Even now I'm annoyed. I felt that Nixie just wanted to get this out of the way so she could follow up on some crazy plans to fight Xantinya, I was so pissed at her! You don't even imagine, dear journal, what Axe-Eve can think and/or say when Axe-Eve starts axing around.
 
We discussed our plans for the future after this... It was a question of whether to leave xy or continue here. Verfy and Bart and Damaschini wanted us to go back and fight in the Continent against the impending Orcish-Undead invasion. But I didn't know about all that. I just wanted to... do nothing. I sometimes still do. Why try? Why try what is not in our heart anyway? Go for it, fight a losing war in the Continent, doing nothing much more than we already did. Xantinya is irrelevant. Her undead and orcish allies, the same. As long as we have nothing better in this world to fight for... a chance? A chance to do what...? I still ponder. I knew these answers, I didn't forget. I have a hard time believing them right now. But I won't fall in it again. That pit of desperation.
 
I wanted to say something smart and witty. I only insulted Nixie. Which is exactly what Axe-Eve would do. It's as if Axe-Eve knows that Poppy-Eve would hate, more than almost anything, to hurt Nixie, so Axe-Eve strikes there the most. She hasn't yet tried something against Bart, thankfully. I fear that moment may come, though....
 
I was mad at Nixie because it seemed like she hated Lullaby and wanted to go to xy exclusively to open all dimensions then enlist some help from xy against the Apocalypse. I was mad that we didn't even share the same values that are empty anyway. How could I not be enraged? Not only do our values turn to dust in our faces, we don't even share them, what's the point of our war then!?!
 
Of course, I was wrong. But at the time I wouldn't see it. In the end, Drenizek and Dillen each intervened on Nixie's side, saying how they want to continue in xy. I was not amazed at Dillen. Ever the opportunist. But Drenizek struck a chord. He told me about Nixie's true feelings, and reminded me, if only then, that her motives are the same as mine. It helped me calm down a bit, but not for long...
 
We still decided to stay here. With hindsight, I understand how hard it must've been for Nixie and Verfy. But they were brave, as I know they always are. I feel responsible. And I know I failed them already, but maybe I can make up for all this somehow....
 
Finally, we got transferred to another car and we were to be transported somewhere else, maybe a place where we would be killed....? Had no idea. We didn't want to stick around to find out, though, so we busted out by going inside the chest and having Damaschini demolish the walls of the car with his Matter-bending capabilities. He then flew away and hid. Next up, Dillen and Bart used their street-smarts to get us some money and clothes.
 
The money is not in gold or copper or silver form, it's... it's abstract. There's this device we dubbed "clock" which shows you how much money you have. And actually it's not how much money you have, but how much money you owe to the owner of this clock, a huge bank called the ITA. Well it's not a bank but a trade guild of sorts. Very, very big trade guild.
 
And the clothes change colours. When Dillen and Bart told us to get out of the Kataria castle, we emerged in some underground lair. It was huge. A big square hole whose walls were levelled, each level having countless shops. It was busy, but we found a quieter corner by the edge of one of the levels. We had, by that time, changed our clothes. They were pretty neat. Verfy also got a very nice helmet of sorts, with a big black screen in front. She could see us, but we couldn't see her. Bart picked me some nice clothes too, a black vest with lucent blue tints, dark blue pants and sleeves and beneath the vest a nice blue blouse. I could change colours but I liked those. How nice! Clothes that change colours! I imagine the life of all girls here is easier. Or maybe the choices make it harder! Hm.
 
Leaving that aside, we spent most of our time trying to find out information about xy. It's a horrifying, vast space. These people can travel between PLANETS, yes, planets. And Kelly, who knew more about science and stuff than us, was even more amazed. Perhaps because she understand the implications better than we do. It's like we would try to explain to her that you can suddenly extract a full-purity arcane blast from a rune... Ah, one could only dream.
 
In any case, we had some pressing issues, before we could do anything regarding... you know, the end of the world. We needed money and safety. The police were after us, because we had escaped. Then again, the money the boys were using was not limitless, and it turns out it that our new devices and the whole money-scheme was the result of them robbing some poor slob in town. He would soon do something, right? So we expected money to dry out soon, too.....
 
Out of ideas, we turned to basic ideas. Nixie wanted to kidnap somebody. Dillen was strongly against it, and so was Kelly. These two seem to have a synergy with this place, by the way. In any case, we decided the best way to solve our predicament was to make some dirty money. Easier said than done. First of all, we needed some sleep. We all went into the chest, with Kelly guarding it.
 
I didn't talk to anyone at the time, not even Bart. I don't know what Bart is doing. I miss him, but he's near me. I'm afraid I'll hurt him, too. I'm trying to stay away from everybody. The damage is done with most of them, by now, but maybe Bart is safe, still.... I don't want to mess him up, too, Axe-Eve is dangerous, as I said. In any case, that night we went to sleep in the Kataria palace. Damaschini wanted to show us around a bit before that, but I was in no mood. I took Lullaby (who very dilligently follows me if I pull her along a little bit) and found a room in a faraway wing of the castle. Ah, familiar surroundings. This dimension is weird, all metal-y and glassy and the surface is very clean but the underground is dirty and vapid. It feels good to return to a castle, with stone walls, and feel the air flow through empty corridors. I pulled the drapes and went to sleep, not before taking care of Lullaby.
 
It's weird. It's like taking care of a small child, to be honest. But she does as I will, no resistance offered. I wish I could help her more. I don't understand them! Can't they see it's not just that she lost her husband!? Her very own grief and terror was turned against her, to harm her child! Her very mind was shattered. Maybe her current state is a sign of hope, that she can recover. But maybe it's the complete opposite, and she'll never recover. I still intend to be by her side. Dunno why, maybe she should just.... ugh I was about to write something horrifying. No, Eve, focus. What is your real feeling?
 
I... I don't know! Maybe I do feel anger towards Lullaby. It's strange... At night, I huddle beside her and try to give her at least some warmth. I don't want to leave her alone. I know she can't feel me. But she's so alone....... She's silent, and she doesn't do anything. So the others just... float past her. It's like she's a hole in the air. Can't blame them... Can blame them? No. Can't. Stop it! But what I can do is... be there. It doesn't help, I'm sure. She can't feel it, I'm sure. But I'll do it anyway because in some strange way I want to give her what she should receive, even if it can't reach her. I act out of the love I feel for her and her son.
 
Maybe that's it. My being there can't change anything for her. But the feeling still exists, and I still stay by her side. Useless? Perhaps for Lullaby, now... But it's still something warm and .... comforting. At night, in my darkest hours of doubt, I still get calm by her little frail body sleeping beside me, because I feel protective of her. That keeps me human. Keeps me... going.
 
Maybe that's the thing. These things are not useless. Maybe in the small scheme they may seem useless... But... somehow, they work. Maybe Good exists, it's just that I'm looking at the results the wrong way. Or looking elsewhere. Like for instance Illien's Ael Velle. I know, I know. Obsessive Nutcase. Ah, but I love Nutcase-Eve now that I've seen Axe-Eve. Anyway, Illien the Great lost and was defeated, his defeat breaking the spirit of generations that might've followed in his footsteps otherwise. But his defeat was also a threshold. It set a standard. The weak-minded would not go on an Ael Velle and ruin its name any more. Only those who could rise from that defeat, learn from it and grow from it would embark on another Ael Velle. And that Ael Velle would be truer, and stronger.
 
I start sounding like that insufferable know-it-all Eve....! I love it! Maybe there's hope for me.... I don't know, though. Whenever I turn around, I see disaster and pain and illusion. And my revolt. And my heart aches again.
 
That morning, I woke up still feeling tired. I noticed Lullaby is a little bit more receptive. She works on some kind of muscle memory. For example if I give her her blouse she'll put it on if I put her hands on it and pull them over her head. Yesterday morning I had to do most of the work myself. Her eyes also follow me if I move around. And if someone makes a sound she may turn her head in that direction. But these are just reflexes, customary moves, memories. Nothing suggesting she's present, truly present.
 
Anyway... We got out of the chest in a tight alley with many pipes and gross smells (and rats). Kelly was quite battered. It seems she had tried to get some money at a bar, but had a seizure and was attacked by people at that bar. Verfy decided it was time for a ... together-training. I swear, maybe the key to stopping the Apocalypse is a together-training with everyone in all 9 dimensions. And I'm only half-joking!
 
To be fair, I see the point. We were... confused. Weakened. And angry. Some of us (me me me me me me me me me). Verfy and Nixie first went to Kelly. They tried to see what her problem was, because Kelly seemed much more distraught than usual. She was upset she got beaten up, but it was more than that. She was upset she was no longer a powerful warrior. Well, fencer. Anyway, you get it. Age. I'd say her sickness is the only issue she has, but... Yea, she was feeling down, thinking that she was losing all that made her into something, and that her legacy was nill.
 
I get the legacy part. I also feel I have no legacy to leave behind right now, but I was never obsessed with that till now. But Kelly seemed to really care about it. She sees herself basically as a collection of three things: beauty, invention and fencing. Beauty she lost with the scar, and now she's losing fencing. And her invention... I don't think she was ever truly pleased with herself on that account, mainly because she spent a lot of time making stuff for others. She isn't a spiritual person, so if you take away these very concrete traits, she feels empty.
 
But I think she's starting to learn there's more around here. I listened too, and part of me understood. Part of me didn't, but we'll get to that. In the end, the girls did something that took me off guard: they made Kelly crack. They were so supportive and so genuinely loving... she finally opened up to us. I felt then that she treated us as her friends, for the first time, maybe. Or at least for the first time consciously. She wanted to have a refuge, somewhere. She felt alone. Ah, not the only one. But that's the funny thing, we are not alone. We have each other here, in this weird bundle of people from across dimensions. Does it mean something? Of course. Was it in vain? No. I can't believe that. I am fighting it. The feeling. Of emptiness.
 
Kelly told us she never had time to stop trying to develop her three traits. Her parents wanted her to excel in them. She wanted that. She sacrificed a lot for it. Everything, in fact, including the love and respect of her parents. And, I think, her own respect for herself. Hearing her story, it made me realise why Sea stood by her. Even as she tried to instill into us the thought that she is a bad person, or at least a cutthroat, cold-blooded killer, I saw that, beyond these experiences, she is ... I don't know. Nice? Redeemable? Mh. I don't know a fitting word. Maybe I could say... that she's had a rough life, she made many mistakes, some were induced by others, some were hers entirely, but she always had in her the traits and spark of a good human being. I think that is the way I can put it.
 
Which, again, made me think... Is there as sense to our growth on Earth? Does it really work?
 
These are all after-thoughts. At that time I was scornful. I was envious that they considered Kelly so good and special. Kelly, who sold her body for money, basically. Then betrayed and killed her "Benefactors" in a grizzly way. But... then the girls turned to me. And I had to spill it out. All my frustration, my anger, my.... thirst for revenge. Oh, yes, I wanted to declare war on the Almighty, and see His world burn, because it's a bad world....
 
I felt I was doing unmendable mistakes, but I could not stop!!! I wanted them to be angered. I wanted Nixie to say "you'll see" and "It's too late now", I wanted them to say I'm mad, possessed, demonic, evil, wrong, slap me, fight me, kill me!
 
I'm going mad. Really, really mad........ I broke everything. My love for them, my love for the Almighty, most of all. I betrayed all. I betrayed myself. I could not stop, though. Everything was a done thing. But they......... they didn't flinch. I couldn't believe it. They didn't get mad, they didn't get red from my horrible comments. Not even poor Tallion, whom I'd berated out of nowhere for no reason. They all stood fast and took in my horrible rantings. At some point Verfy asked: but why are we friends anymore, then, if we're so bad?" I wanted to say "we're not" and leave. Yes, I've had enough of them. Of their illusion. Of their lies. They lied that they had love in their herats, and they were deluded to think any amount of love mattered in a world where love simply does not work!!!!! But.........
 
Ah, I couldn't! I knew it was not right. I knew I loved them all. I do, I truly do. Even Kelly, who's the newest of us. Even Lullaby, whom I've slapped out of pure rage, then....... God!!!!!!
 
Finally, done. The whole ordeal of trying to understand something. As I cried it out, I felt a cold glimmer, and a steel blade of an axe swooping from above, and I screamed at them to get down......... when I calmed down a bit, I understood the horrifying truth......
 
My weak, Axe-Eve was the result of Nutcase-Eve having her stupid revolt and falling prey to... him. I looked at Lullaby in horror and blamed her, like the monster I am. But then I rescinded. Of course it's not her fault. But now I understood my condition. You see, dear journal, I'm not possessed. But I kind of am. Hehe.
 
heheheehehheheheehhehehheheheehehehehehehehhehehe
 
Help..
 
Lullaby's spirit senses nothing of the outside world. But in shielding itself, its strength distorts the spiritual plane around her. And all that attacks her spirit gets dissipated around. Including, well, her own personal demon, which in her case is not your average small guy, but the big Balan, demon of Vengeance and fourth greatest demon in the World... Well, fifth, if you count Xantinya's lonely husband.
 
By the way, Xantinya should check on her spouse, Hell has many female demons, and I bet demons don't believe in monogamy. That is actually a good question, do demons even... care about their spouses? That would be... almost angelic of them. So, maybe not. Maybe they don't believe in the pairs that God formed for them. Which is ironic, since the Devil was the one to ask for the pairs to be made in the first place.
 
So, going back to the issue... I felt all these urges to spit at people, metaphorically, because I wanted to exact revenge on them. And especially on the Almighty, for building this world in such a way that we're trapped to be doomed in it.
 
Nixie and Verfy and Tallion and Bart are the best friends one could ask for. They saved me that moment, I know it. I can't believe I am their weakest link now! I endangered them and Lullaby! God, what a monster I am!
 
It's a fit punishment for one who thought she had control over her faith and hope and feelings. For one who thought she could carry others into the light. Serves you right, you useless Nut! You shriveled old fruit everybody leaves in the bowl!
 
Don't worry, though. I will seek redemption of some kind. I'm starting to think out of desperation, but desperation is a two-edged sin, because it can turn to eagerness pretty soon. I'm eager to find a way. I believe in done things, but maybe that's the issue. The world can't work if anything that happens is a done thing. But is it? The Elves falling out of grace was a done thing, but the Elves believe in returning back to the Tree, like leaves dying in the ground and being absorbed by its roots. So... even if the Fall is a done thing, returning to the Almighty shouldn't be... right?
 
Right, Balan?
 
Can't let you have me... But, can I fight this? I don't know. I know I'll continue to take care of Lullaby. He will affect me. The more I stay near Lullaby, the more I'll be affected. But someone has to take care of her. Someone has to show her the affection she needs. Maybe it won't help her, but it doesn't matter. It's (1) what I feel like I want to do and (2) what is just. I want to protect her, so lemme! And it is right to look after people, especially those who can't defend themselves. Lullaby needs us more than ever. I won't turn away. On the contrary. I won't leave her side. I'm writing this in our room, as she sleeps. She's mine to protect, and if I have to endure this demon, so be it. I may crack and get fully mad. But then the rest may pulverise me. I won't deserve to live among them anyway. If I let my soul be consumed like that.
 
I can't fight Balan, nor is it my job to do so. It's Lullaby's demon, and he won't leave her. She could contain him, but not now. And if we were to open the gates to her spirit, Balan would be the first to enter. And I fear that. So, it's best if I just sit tight and continue taking care of her.
 
I may need some help in making sure I don't go full Axe-Eve again, though.
 
It's good that whenever I'm alone with Lullaby I don't have the urge to hit her, like I did at the together training. I would.... forver hate myself... if I wouldn't be able to do this one task, this one thing. Take. Care. Of her. Simple as that!!!!
 
Back on the ship, when I spent time with the Sylph, I thought I was taking care of her... Bhah! She was taking care of me, of all of us. Now... now is the real test, Eve! Now!
 
Having calmed down the possessed lunatic with twiggy arms and still-kinda-potato face, the party started talking about a plan on how to proceed in xy. First of all, we agreed that we needed to help Lullaby recover. For that, we needed Ghighi. But how to get Ghighi? Verfy reminded us of her idea to send a message to all dimensions. A message on the impending End, and on hope, hope that we can prevent it. Hm.
 
So.... we had to send a message? Xy seemed the place to try that out. That is because of a strange construct called the Zidith. The faith of Zeith, which is the biggest religion in xy, is centered around this idea that information, pure impersonal information, arranges all in the universe. It permeates all existence, so, if you can capture it, you can understand all, even predict the future. So they built a huge machine, feeding off the energy of 9 stars, called the Zidith, which can store this unfettered pure information. Its information is deciphered by priests who then interpret it as things to do for the Commonwealth. Hm. And.... aside from that, there's a big black hole filled with Xenatine which may just be the xy equivalent of the Tower in Haj et Laon. Why? Because Black Holes are... welll... not holes, but a place where all the laws of the universe get weird and inverted, where space and time diffuse. and if you fill that with Xenatine......... You get a big, big gate. Black holes hold information on the universe around them, by absorbing it. And Kelly said that the 9 dimensions themselves are mirroring each other, just like the information inside the black hole may mirror what lies around it. Interesting things, complicated for me to understand, but....
 
For a moment there I felt blessed to be able to learn of such things, and mired with the beauty and finesse of the Universe. This world... it sure does sound like it makes sense. Maybe it does! Right? Please, make it so..........
 
We decided we had to try to send a message through the Black Hole, in a medium that would actually allow that message to transcend the dimension. But wait, why use a gate to hell for that? Isn't that what Xantinya's towers are? Well... These gates can't just be gates to Hell. The dimensions are linked between each other via HEaven too. And via the old world, that existed prior to them. The common ground between these dimensions. So we would use the black hole for our own channel. You don't need physical gates. All you need is to find a way to access these links between dimensions. The black hole would do.
 
Plus, turning an enemy's weapon against it feels so, so.... right.
 
But how can we do this? Maybe we could find out something by consulting the Zidith. So we decided on our cursed itinerary - first the Zidith, then the Black Hole. Subject to change. Honestly, Nixie seemed unsure about the Zidith part, mostly because we tried to visit a temple of theirs and there was a weird symbol which rattled her a little bit. Looked like a wasp to Bart, and I kinda agreed with him. I hate wasps too, but I'm sure that's not what they wanted to depict. Actually, it seems it doesn't really mean anything. It's the "first deciphering" of the Zidith. So it's a mystery, in other words, haha. Maybe it has an inherent value. Like... the information in the universe is arranged in a way that this symbol... symbolises? I don't know.
 
Or.... It may just all be a big, fat hoax. A lie, made up to give an easy religion for people to follow.
 
In any cas,e we had to find out. But first... money and police! Yes, yes, we had no way to spend money (the clock worked no longer) and we had been declared fugitives, our faces now appearing on these big screens on buildings.
 
I was particularly unhappy with how well they captured my still-potato-skin.
 
Bleah. To quote Xixi, "xaxo to you".
 
To make up for our problems, we decided on a binge-cruise of the underworld. Which was literally under the city. Kelly, using some great street smarts, found a perfectly dubious bar in the underground sector built in an underground mine. I have to stop here and add that we got to see a chunk of the city by walking around so much, and... It's.... very, very ... much! So big, it never ends. Buildings everywhere, and tall, too, and so many people. 139 million.... That's like... I think it's more than the population of our Dimension! Or at least the part that we know of...
 
Streets are very clean. The middle is for these "car" things, but there's a special lane on the wider streets which is used by special cars that hover over the ground. And the ground is filled with what looks like lightning. Can you imagine? Huh. And the buildings are mostly square, but they like round ones too, many have bases made of stone, I think some kind of limestone and granite, I've seen some beautiful arches, too, and they just LOVE these boxes that transport people everywher,e called elevators. They move up and down and sidways too. And many are stationed outside the buildings themselves. We even got to be transported by the sidewalk itself!!! Hhih. Fun.
 
But the underground was less fun. Fumes and sweat could be felt at every breath, and this heaviness creeped in and seeped into clothes and skin. People here are clearly dubious. Mostly spiked-heads called Brazzki. The bar itself was a dubious dump, filled to the brim with these Brazzki rascals. There was a big metal round ring, surrounded by a cage, used for fights. Kelly was incredibly quick to cook up a situation for us to fill: she was a bounty hunter and we were her sidekicks. Kelly was very good at navigating in a discussion and finding out info as she went, in the same time pretending she knew everything about what she was talking about. She found a way to make money: enroll Verfy in a fight. Oh, yea... I was looking forward to seeing whose spiked face would be mushed by our super-warrior.
 
But............ alas, the fights were... more brutal than expected. They were supposed to be fistfights, no weapons, but......... these monsters had weapons.. inside them! A Brazzki has four arms, generally, but one of them had only two, and each arm contained a secret metal arm that could detach. These metal arms could assume various shapes, including that of a javelin or sword, and could jab or cut the Brazzki's enemy. In this case......... Verfy.
 
We saw him ruthelessly cut another Brazzki's head off. But, when faced with another guy from another race, he only cut an arm. It seems these guys are a little afraid to kill a Nastaim. That's good, because we pass for Nastaim... Ish. Except Damaschini.
 
Verfy was probably nervous, but she acted brave. When inside the ring, she fought with her everything, like always. Before the fight, Kelly and Damaschini had worked to modify her xy helmet. Kelly incorporated a blade there, so our girl could have a fighting chance.
 
Verfy was immediately beset by the monster, with its blades slashing her up and down. But Verfy did not lose her focus and tried to break his defenses, punching him in the face. But the Brazzki used his agility to keep up the attacks. It was quite an amazing fight. Verfy tried to knock him down, but the Brazzki caught her right foot behind his knee. These Brazzki have really crooked feet, by the way. Verfy tried to push him aside with her head-blade-helmet-thingie, but the Brazzki defended and caught her blade behind the same knee!!! Now poor Verfy had her head stuck where her foot was. Ugh. But the Brazzki was not strong enough to overpower Verfy, oh no. Our fire-elemental brought him down and jabbed him. But the Brazzki managed to get up using his tail and one of Verfy's punches and attacked again. Verfy was slashed again, and again, but she countered by ramming into him with her head-blade. They continued fighitng in a frenzy of blood and blades, until the Brazzki finally fell to the ground. Poor Verfy could only let out a sigh before collapsing too, but she had done her job. She secured 1200 of their currency, which thanks to Dillen's bets was increased to 4800. Now we had some money. And the bartender could be a good source for us to find allies. We needed.... as Kelly herself put it (poor her)... "sponsorship".
 
But something else happened. After the fight, and after we tended to Verfy (poor her was knocked out completely....I am worried for our warrior, she gets into too mcuh trouble for her own good) Nixie went to the bathroom and talked to a bounty-hunter. seems Nixie had this thing on her list, where she would discuss Apocalypse matters with girls in the bathroom. She definitely crossed that off her list, but... the girl died in front of her. And Nixie ran, which made things worse, because she was seen, too. Now the bar was in uproar, the police were coming, so we had to think fast. Kelly suggested hiding in the chest in a new spot we would create in the bar. Bart came up with th eidea of punching a hole. But... how!? Bart said "just hide" and we followed suit. I saw Bart prepare to punch the ground and I was very, very confused. He's strong, but not in that way.... But when he did punch the ground, the floor broke and he could extract a few pieces, making just enough room for the chest to fit! Then we could cover the chest with a carpet that was lying on top of the floor. But... how!? I was amazed and, dare I say, proud at Bart. Though i know I have no merit. He really turned up into a man who could transmit his mental strength to physical strength...! I'm.... I don't deserve such a man.
 
Inside the chest, we talked to Nixie about what had happened. It seems our captain wanted to make some innocent chat with girls in the bathroom, but she got caught as a "non-homologated" mutation by a bounty hunter, so she told her... well, the truth about us. And she seemed to believe Nixie, but then suddenly she fell, a pool of blood forming beneath her. Then others entered the bath and accused Nixie of murder, and she ran. Ugh, such bad luck, I mean, come on.... Unless it was on purpose, whcih Nixie now believes is the case. Then it means someone is tracking us..... bad. Very bad.
 
Worse still is that we were trapped. We now had no allies. the bartender had called the police. We were suspects, because we were strangers. They would scan us. That is why we had hidden in the chest to begin with. But once we emerged out of it... we would be in the same bar... We needed to fix this.. So Kelly volunteered to try and fix it with the bartender. The girls didn't want to let her go alone, but I think it was best that she did it alone. This way she could make a better story and a better case for herself. I trusted her to be all right. Kelly really carried our poor provincial souls through this metropolis so far..
 
Now, in the dead of night (well, not in the castle, where it's always daytime...) we turned to other issues.... Somehow, it came to Verfy and Nixie that we had not told the rest about the beginning of the world. The story of the creation. So... we discussed whether we should tell them. I wanted to. I knew the Elves wanted us to know, and only us, but... you know, by US I understand the crew as well. And Xixi. And Kelly. And Anevys. And Marv, wherever our poor brave lizardman is. And, well, Damaschini, too. And, of course, Lullaby.
 
But... Damaschini was a special case. Nixie didn't trust him because (1) she didn't know him and (2) Tallion told us about a letter sent by one of his friends to him, after the old party broke up. The letter was a pain to hear. This Nerissa was so disappointed at Damaschini, so alone and abandoned... I felt her pain, I knew she was a true friend to him, judging from how much disappointment I felt, but it also seemed that they just didn't understand each other. In any case, it looked as if their party, as we all had figured by that time, had been highly dysfunctional. But... That was relevant to the whole "telling of the story of the birth of the world", or not? Tallion said he'd trust DAmaschini, but he was afraid he would leave. Also, there was one more reason why Tallion was hesitant. He didn't say it, he spent like 100 hours trying to explain it, but in the end didn't say it. HE said something about "understanding his position". What position? I felt Tallion just wanted Damaschini to be humble and apologise to him. Or maybe apologise in general.
 
Nixie would follow TAllion's advice in this case, and I agreed. Tallion knew Damaschini. So if Tallion considered it was fine to tell him, I would follow Tallion because we trust Tallion. And so, we decided to tell Damaschini, once we had a talk with him. He did seem to regret the death of Nerissa, espcially since he wasn't able to talk to her after that letter. It must have hurt a lot. I bet the demons enjoyed that.
 
As for the rest... We had no qualms. I was a little afraid of Xixi.
 
But when we gathered them all and told them everything we had learned at the Saphire Fountain... I was amazed. They were not afraid. Nor sad, not really, I think. Or they were a little afraid, afraid of what they should believe in now, at least in the case of those who had believed in completely different things, or in nothing at all (Kelly would arrive too and we would tell her the story).
 
No man could prepare them for what they found out. I was particularly amazed to see Vas shed a tear. This Hifrist priest's apprentice believed us, and not just us, but the Sylphs who told our story. I felt that. His whole world was turned upside down, but he was ready to believe it. And all of them simply felt ready to continue. This revelation did not weaken then, it strengthened them.
 
I was worried for Anevys, she was an Elf, but she was not shaken. She simply said she would need a little time to take it all in but now that she knows she will press on. Dillen made some snide comments at Xantinya, but he looked unshaken. Vas and Drenizek said they were honoured to having been told this secret. I knew Drenizek understood fully the importance of us telling them this. He had felt what the Sapphire Fountain was, and now I'm sure he sees things much more clearly...
 
I was happy that moment. Kelly, poor Kelly, she was turned upside down, I think she went to cry, because I saw glimmers in her eyes as she ran off to some room. But she had a seizure and we had to nurse her back to normalcy... When we did, she told us she had been captured by the police, but she managed to strike a deal with the bartender. Using him as a lawyer (which here can talk to you before you go to prison and advise you on how to handle the police - nice), she got to talk to him. She told him we are the mutations and she struck a deal. The bartender bribed the police for us and we would give him money, enough to cover the price of our heads on the black market. He would also put us in contact with whoever we wanted. A suspiciously nice deal, but I guess he'll make some good money off of us, too. Kelly played us like we were some monstruously powerful mutations, too (using Verfy's testament of strength and Damaschini's bending as examples).
 
So, here we are. Now we went to our rooms to get some well earned rest. I bet everyone is thinking about today. Such a full day... Ah, I didn't metnion it. Xixi was very very.... all right with the story! She was not mad at Elves. She was happy. She said something about her people's prophecy, that the Teki'ten would be beaten by Xantinya. Or something like that. Now Xixi said it's because the prophecy does not apply to all races. Just like the Elves were the original race and lost the world, now one race, either Elves or Strygians or Men, would not save it from falling apart. But that's because now there are more worlds, and more races, so we need to be united for this to work.
 
Which makes sense. Lullaby united Men and Elves in the battle for the PRimordial Tree, and when she faced Xantinya she assumed the voices and wills of us all. So there's something to it. This message... Will be for everyone. United we stand. I like it.
 
I think I'll be able to fall asleep with a small smile on my ugly face. Maybe....
 
Poor Lullaby. She was there for the story, but I'm sure she hasn't heard it. It's fine, maybe once she wakes up this information will be able to enter her head. If not, at least she was there. She had to be. She's one of us. And we are of her. Isn't she the Teki'ten? Hah. Xixi may be the wisest of us yet.
 
But before I finally fall asleep, there's something I wanted to write in here.
 
I am truly amazed at how people have grown in this wretched beautiful journey. I have been saved by their kindness, not once, but today really put things into perspective. I'd hate to die and not be able to express how I truly feel about them, what I truly think of them. So, before Balan takes the last shreds of my sanity away from me, I want to write this down.
 
I'll get them in no particular order:
 
Capt'n Nixie: I think Nixie has truly become a captain. Not obvious from the start, but she grew to be a true leader, one we would follow to and through death. But I think she also is starting to understand more about the subtleties and balances of and between feelings and reason. And she's starting to develop a will of her own, a special force, one not like a flame, but like rock: it's not an overflowing, overwhelming, conquering will, it is a steadfast, adamant, reinforcing kind. She was afraid of the fights we had to fight, she was panicked in the face of demons and men. Now, she looks evil in the eye and does not relent. She simply doesn't. It's as simple as that. Don't relent. I did. I cracked. She was unsure of so many things. But once she got sure, she's immovable. I told her as much in my letter to her. I think she will prevail. I may die in this journey, but she won't. If the world CAN be saved, she'll do it.
 
Verfy: Our fire-warrior was always strong, but I think she's starting to be more open about her weakness, too. She was too afraid to let her guard down, and too afraid of promises and risks others took for her or generally around her. I think that she had a very hard time recently, and I'm not sure i've been supportive enough. But I think that her real strength lies here. She is strong for the ones around her, so much so that I was almost always afraid she'd crack herself. But she's learning to cope and accept her own sadness, her own doubts. I also think she's a driving force for us all when it comes to dead ends. She's the kind of person who will form another path when all roads close. I think she will be the best warrior of light Light could have asked.
 
Bart: oh, my Bart. I know you didn't watch lewd images of people fornicating while dressed in animal disguises. Whatever you are doing, though, I find it dubious. What are you hiding from me? But letting that aside.... Bart is my everyday inspiration. He was always a lifting presence. But now he himself lifted himself to new capabilities. And his ability to sacrifice has really touched and amazed me... He was a simple tavern bard, a silly little boy, if you like. I still remember how I saw him that day in Marion, when Tallion presented his new companions to me. A fun little bard. Now he's a man. A... a warrior. Not one with swords, but with will and wits and mind. He had talents and wits and he grew them into great virtues. I love you, Bart. Still, you have to tell me what you're hiding. Also... I miss you.. I feel that your growth has often been in spite of me, and I wish I could be there more for you, and with you, while you are growing...
 
Tallion: Oh, boy. I did not expect Tallion to become the balancing force of our party. But he is. He is what he was meant to be. What Ionolian mages are meant to be. He is determined, he holds his values close to heart, hopes, and is genuine. He does not relent. And he uses the light to chase away the shadows of others. Sure, he's not very wise. Not at all, nor is he very good at actually understanding the intricacies of magic, but... when push comes to shove, he's the one that moves the right piece. He saved the branch. Now, in XY, when we didn't know what to do, he told us, in simple and decisive words, why we should fight, what we should hope and strive for, and that the Almighty is with us. He put it in a way not even Axe-Eve could argue against... Good job, Tallion. I'm proud of you.
 
Xixi: Hehe, Xixi learning woranian is clearly my greatest contribution to this world. Xixi is a role model. But then again, she always was. But I think even perfect can become perfecter, for Xixi has grown. She actually pays attention to what is happening, and uses her knowledge, because she has it. She is also learning to be kind and accepting to other races. Her hatred for Elves is gone, which is no small thing. Same for "Gaids", haha. I'm sure Xixi will become a wise old priest in the far future, but please don't tell her I said that, dear journal.
 
Drenizek: I still don't understand how Drenizek keeps going. But I clearly need a lesson from him. Not the other way around. He's still here, protecting us, giving us the push we need, reminding us of the beauties of our world. I sure fear for him, because he always puts himself in harm's way. I still think Drenizek can do much more, though. I realized back then when he had consumption and we talked about the Fountain, I realized Drenizek has an innate feel for the spiritual, one that can get him to incredible heights. I think that if it were not for Nixie he would have never reached that. I gotta say sometimes I feel a little jealous of Nixie, haha.
 
Dillen: I used to hate Dillen, but that's because he was this rationalist cold-hearted bastard. I think he is past that. And ironically his episode with Drenizek might have played a role. That's the moment I saw him lose his rationality a little. And after that all the events that followed suit broadened his horizon. Now, I feel Dillen is more understanding. He actually gets along with everyone now, even with Verfy, hehe, even with me! And his insufferable cunning and shadiness now serves him well as a pool of talents to be used in his role as spy, thief, black market barter and overall moneymaker of our team. I'm pretty amazed to see Dillen actually reflecting on spiritual stuff. He has grown quite a lot, maybe more than most.
 
Vas: Vas has become a great doctor, but I think he's also changing his outlook on life and God. And slowly he is growing in power, a kind of power that has to do with understanding the world around him. Vas surely is not very talkative, but he's always there for us, and he is a very kind and gentle soul. I'm sure he will emerge as a true bastion of light in this war.
 
Isbel: Oh, our princess surely has become a brave warrior. And it's heartwarming to see her get along so well with the crew. Her animosities are over, her wish for revenge, gone. She's now putting her immense energy and will to good, and you can see that. She's very young, but she is on a path to greatness.
 
Marc: Our simple crewmate has nothing the others have. He's not a great warrior, a powerful mage, a princess, a singer, a moneymaker, an inventor. He has no special skills. He's ordinary. As ordinary as one gets. But somehow, he's not. Nono, he was capable of growing his understanding. He is simple, yes, and does not complicate himself with subtleties and details of what we're doing. But that's the thing. It makes his faith and strength simple and effective. Marc, you have my utmost respect.
 
As for Kelly and Anevys, we did not have the time of course to see them grow, or actually for KElly we did, she is finally expressing herself and she sees us as her friends. But in her case it's more of me starting to understand her. Oh, I didn't metnion. Yesterday I heard her laugh out loud. When she saw our wanted posters. Then I was angry in general, so I didn't feel zilch. But now the thought of it warms my heart a bit.
 
 
May the Almighty have us in His protection, if that still goes.
 
Note: Balan, you may win yet. But I wrote these things and you can't take them away from me. Right now I feel the anger seeping into my hand and into this pen and onto the paper and I feel I can write the vilest and most horrible of things because of how monstrous I am and can be I will stop before I spit more but....
 
I am not yet vanquished.