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"Sene thei Ftheis nel Nerthi" - the Elves upon seeing their world for the first time
 
Dear journal,
 
I am writing to you in the most beautiful place the world had to offer us. I feel so very tired, sad, happy, relieved and worried, all in the same time. Somehow, still, these feelings are mellowed out here, calmed down by hope and a realisation of what lies within and around us, beyond the sorrows and hardships that the world throws at us. It's hard to explain, so I'll come back to it later, when I write about this place.
 
To start from where we picked off, we had a party on our total-drama-ship (which now has less drama, with Axiol gone). It was due time for some kind of entertainment, after all these fights and all this tension. We had to make do without alcohol or any party-specific treats - gruel and dried meat, again, but then again, the food tastes better in good company, right?
 
Our drama-filled little ship was actually quite nice. I don't usually like parties, lots of people clapping around and talking about the least important and interesting things the human mind can imagine, drinking and eating too much, for no reason, and pretending they like each other just to feel safer with their own misery and mediocrity... Heh, I am an evil one.
 
I probably hate them more because of that wretched year, when I was alone, had to feel like part of something, went to these events and saw everybody sniggering at me. I talked to people, left and then sensed how they'd raise the subject of Whore-Eve.
 
Had fun ruining their little games, though.
 
Anyway, these days are long gone. Here on the ship, the party was enjoyable. Drenizek kept us entertained with his thousand voices. Bart wouldn't sing, you see, Bart wanted to dance with me and had no time for any shows. That was sweet of him. You know what was sweeter? He got me some strange, but very tasty cookies he told Laimon/Isbel to make, the very next day. They were so much better than any fancy-cake I ever ate! Somehow on this boat they could conjure up such a nice treat... And the little bard thought of his paper-girl and made sure she had something sweet to savor, in the middle of that wretched Desolation... I don't deserve him, I swear. I probably look redder than the Fastodan flag right now, I surely was back then.
 
Do you know, dear journal, that behind every woman is a little girl, and if you make that little girl happy, you'll make the woman ten times happier. Well, Bart did that. And these cookies are exactly what the Sylph wanted too, she loves cookies. Smart boy, not just sweet. I have to say, I'm starting to suspect he's some kind of monster in disguise, I mean, can he be SO nice? I'm almost scared. What did I do to earn that? What? Teach him to swim? Teach him Gavan? No. None of it. I'm not even that interesting. I have my quips and my smart-girl-talk which really isn't much, it's just books speaking through my mouth, any good "magic-man" can find a spell that lets books speak to people. So, useless-Eve barely is worth a dime. Well, these cookies in the Desolation were like gold ingots.
 
Going back to the party, we danced a lot to Drenizek's music. The lad was quite astonishingly using one hand to sing and one to spin Nix captain Nixie around. I wasn't all that good, again. Bart is an expert. I wish I could dance better. All those parties wasted.... Eve, you Nut. You could have used them to actually get ONE skill people need in their lives.
 
As we were dancing I did notice Verfys and Xebec in a corner of the ship, getting very close to each other, indeed. Hah. I thought I saw something before. It makes sense. I'm glad people are happy, especially since Verfys really needs this. I can't help but think she feels a little alone and helpless sometimes. She wants to protect everyone and everything and, well, it never works out that way. I still don't know what to think of Xebec, but they do look good together.
 
I might have been naughty in my innuendos after that. Uf.
 
The party was lively enough. We had an event where almost everyone tried to hit an apple on Pullius' head. Vadred threw his whole battleaxe and actually managed to split the apple in half without breaking a hair on Talion's head. Nice. After that, many in the crew started playing cards, captain Nixie beat them all though, much to their frustration. Drenizek paid the pot with his... heart, of all things, shouting that it was the most precious of all offerings on that table. I couldn't argue with that. Still, I kind of have this impression Drenizek cheated. He had given his heart by the time he had that fiery speech when we elected the captain. Cheeky Alomirese.
 
The party was a truly fair event, I think even Isbel got to be a little more lax. But I can still see her eyes twitching everytime she sees Talion. I don't trust that girl, not that she's untrustworthy, it's exactly because she looks like the kind of person that would follow through on a promise, especially on a promise made to herself. I hope Talion has the wisdom to solve the situation himself.
 
The next days would go on quite normally. Gavan, old Elvish, runes, kissing Bart, eating, talking about the small stuff.... I got to listen to Bart sing again, he's really getting somewhere. I will try to help him. He's been nice to me while I stay here boring-Eve-like and do boring-Eve stuff. At least lemme turn that around. I can help his singing. If only I could get a book on orbs and an emerald.... But putting that aside, I can still help him with runes. I don't think I can carve them on his lyre, though. Why do all my ideas require too much? Why can't I find simple things, like Bart does?
 
On the morning of the 23rd, Nixie told us something about some clouds gathering to the east, in an unnatural manner. Truth be told, to me the sky seemed all too normal, but I believed in Nixie's instincts. She has an intimate link with nature, and with the wind (by the way, now I understand why!). I was a little worried, but we had no time to haggle on negative thoughts. Come what may, we had to bring the Sylph home.
 
The very same day, we saw a massive wall of stone rise up in front of us. There was still mist from the Desolation, especially to the right (what's the nautical term for "right part of the ship"? Starboard? something...), towards the shore we had been following. But these cliffs were less foggy. They looked old. But it was almost like a wall, an irregular one, though, erosion having chewed through it in many places. Captain Nixie told us to follow the wall to the west, so we did. All things considered, it looked a lot like the strip of land which seemed to separate the Sapphire Fountain from the Syomalos. So.... amazingly.... we were there....?
 
I felt my body tremble. Could we actually be there? A lot to be expected. At some point, we saw a crack through the wall, a big crack, large enough for two of our ships to cross it abreast. But it was foggy inside, so we feared to go in (well, not me, but you know me, I'm an idiot). We decided to continue and find another way. We rested for the night. The next day, we did find a similar crack, and this time captain Nixie told us to go in. We had seen a seagull following us for a while, then disappear in the sky. There was life there, after so much Desolation, and everyone had high spirits. Could it be that we had left the Desolation behind us?
 
Finally. I was ready for whatever lay ahead. Sapphires? Nah. Obviously not. Only the Talionesque minds of literal-meaning-gulpers could believe the "Sapphire Fountain" was a sea with sapphires covering its bottom. That's the beauty. There must have been something much more amazing in there.
 
Still, our ship could not go further. We suddenly hit something. My first reaction was to suspect a rock, then to feel the cold chill of remembrance, because the last time we got stuck, it was a bad day. A very bad day. But the culprit was no rock or shipwreck. It was something else entirely. Almost completely invisible, a vertical veil blocked the road ahead through the fog and between the tall, jagged rocks. Drenizek, Bart and Talion took turns touching it, but there was no way to get past the veil, or pierce it. I told them not to force it. It did not seem wise. Hah, me, the voice of wisdom! Papa would be proud. I bet you, dear journal, that he thinks I'm dead in a ditch by this point. He loves me, but he always thought I'm too dangerous to both myself and everyone else around me. Woops.
 
Unsure what to do with the veil, we pondered on the implications, as Bart went beneath deck to tell the Sylph we were almost there. Poor Sylph had suffered a lot, but kept it hidden, mostly, from us. She made no noises and didn't even clench her tiny hand with her little fingers...... But I had felt her pain was intense these past few days.
 
I was left speechless when I saw Bart return with the Sylph right after him. My first reaction was to shout, but I held my tongue. I realised the Sylph wanted to come. She moved, just barely, with her one good foot, while clinging on to Bart. She really wanted this. Everyone on deck was amazed. Xebec was a little worried, I could see this, he really doesn't trust such appearances, hah. But that flimsy fool Dillen had to say his poison. He immediately remarked that we had kept "that creature" hidden from them. Everyone remembered the Sylph as their saviour when the Lady of the Sea attacked our ship. Now, Dillen just had to be a good-for-nothing. Now, when the Sylph went through hell just to come to them and help!!!
 
I wanted to slap him, but I was 10 to 15 years too late to do that. I just told him something, I think it was a good one, but can't remember it. No time for nonsense. I ran to the Sylph and tried to help her, asked her if she wants her little basket. She nodded a no, then continued. She got up on the bowsprit and somehow made it to its tip. She raised her half-hand (:() and it went through the magic veil. We were immediately nudged forward, as the ship could now move again.
 
Thankfully, not even Dillen could ruin this perfect moment. Only a slight cough from Drenizek, but I must say he looked more fascinated than all of us.
 
The ship moved forward into the mist, which quickly dissipated as we left the cliff wall behind. What was left for us to see... was paradise. The Sapphire Fountain. A sea of bright blue waters, calm and catching the sun in triangular crystals between its small waves. But it was not just light from above. Somehow, it was a light from below as well, an azure light which would clearly resemble a layer of sapphires. And all around us, hundreds of silver fish joining together in huge rows which, like a wave of life, jumped in unison above the waves. The fish gathered around our ship and started to pull it forwards, much to our astonishment. As if humans could endure such heights of astonishment already.
 
I have seen nothing but death around us for the past month. So, to see this after so much time of horror.... It was hard to take it all in. I think I can only really feel it today, tonight, well. I felt so amazingly happy then, now I feel even more. I hugged Bart and he hugged me. We just stood there by the ledger, looking at the beautiful color and at the myriad of fish and everything.
 
In the evening we had reached the northern end of the sea. The same kind of wall of cliffs awaited us. It seems to be all around this wonderful azure sea. Strange. This whole place felt otherworldly, different, superior. We decided to drop the anchor near the cliffs and wait for the next day to explore the region around. We had to find the home of our gorgeous Sylph.
 
I could barely sleep. I remember Bart came (as he does every night now) to kiss me on the forehead and tell me good night, and I kissed him back some 10000 times, I was frothing with excitement. The Sylph was happy too. I could feel she still had some pain, but greatly reduced. I was relieved, truly relieved.
 
The next day we found a crack in the northern wall and went through. What awaited us on the other side was a field of grass greener than green, with flowers whose perfume we could smell from leagues away, with bees and grasshoppers flying and jumping around in a symphony of life. And all of it was... it was like we had worn a veil all our lives, and we couldn't see anything properly, and now that veil had been removed. The Monument of Life was like that, but it was only an image, a shard of memory. What we saw was real. It was real, the grass we were walking on. Even the earth itself was beautiful.
 
I was carrying the Sylph in her little basket. She's so light, as light as the basket itself, really. I could see she was feeling happy. Very happy. She was a little different. She moved around in her basked, and tried to gaze at everything. At some point, I saw the crew drift back towards the water, they were trying to find sapphires... Hah. Well, they were amazed, too, by the land, but I think they couldn't fell the same things as us because we could feel them through the Sylph as well. And, well... It was, it truly felt like "The place where it all began". And, most importantly, the Sylph's home.
 
But she wanted us to go farther. So we did. We walked the soft, nourishing earth. No trees there, though, only some bushes and lots of flowers. We reached a point where the Sylph told us to stop. She went down from her basked and made one step - it was all she could with one foot. She then removed her little dark green hood and removed the mask we had made her. She turned to us and handed us the mask. I didn't know exactly what to expect, but... The Sylph was there, in front of us, we could see her head and her beautiful right eye, a glimmer of pure starlight. She was blackened, all dead but for her eye, and... well.... her poor little mouth, only half of it was left, but that half was a smile, and I don't think I saw something more beautiful than that. I felt no terror, I did feel some sadness, but mostly I was brought to tears by how pure and happy she seemed, in spite of everything. She was so alive, and she thanked us. I could feel how she wanted to hug us all.
 
We took the mask, unable to speak or act in any way. We saw her collapse to hug the earth itself. She was so happy, so at peace, I felt, so.... She was happy she was home, but also that we were, in a way, closer to home. I felt that. You know how I don't feel I have a home? Well, in those seconds, I think even now, hours later, I feel this is home. Well, maybe not the physical place, but what I had felt.
 
By the way, the quote is in Old Elvish and means, roughly, "From Ftheis our home but also within Him". It's a full circle of feeling, from Ftheis to the soul of the elf who uttered it, back to Ftheis. And that Circle was the circle the little Sylph drew... Can you imagine, dear journal, something more amazing that this? I can't. I knew nothing of the real sentiments that exists on this Earth. We can't get closer to the Almighty without them. Seeing them, feeling their existence, helps us get closer.
 
The Sylph was there, hugging the Earth, and we saw how specs of dust and earth spread by the wind formed the aura of a pair of beautiful wings on her back. We could hear a clear, pure and sweet voice murmur "Ftheis", and I knew it was the Sylph's voice, breaking through directly into our souls. Then, the wind scattered her.
 
She is gone, dear journal. Gone to Him. She was happy to come back. But not before giving us her mask. I...
 
Sorry, I smudged you with a few tears. I don't. I can't. I am bad at emotions. I don't get impressed to tears by most things, but she makes me cry. It's not even sadness any more, or not just that.... She was free, and she was happy to die and go to Him, I know... I will miss her more than I can ever say.
 
Is it even worth to write anything else, today, or on any day, for that matter? Well... I don't know, I can't leave out what the Sylph actually did to us. Not only did she make us feel more, make us learn how to be better, set an example none would hope to ever get close to, let alone surpass, get us to a land of wonder and beauty.... She gave us answers to questions we didn't even think to ask.
 
Well, not her. By the way, journal, her name is Sea. Seith is the old elvish word for creating bonds, links. A perfect name.... My dear Sea, I hope you can feel this. I love you very, very much. With all that is pure in my heart. Sorry, smudge again. Eve, focus! I have to honor her life, somehow, I have to be the sort of person that would be entitled to say "I met Sea, and she helped me." Right now, I am not deserving of this immense help.
 
So, she didn't answer our questions, but her kin did. You see, the Place where it All Began was inhabited by more elves like her. Sylphs, or, really, more than Sylphs. Elves that come from the one world that once existed. They were small, much smaller than the Sylph, only twice as big as a butterfly. With little beautiful wings, and such little and beautiful voices.... They saw us and came to us and thanked us for bringing Sea home.
 
They told us to talk to them, tell them what we needed, they were there to guide us like we guided the Sylph home. I couldn't really comprehend or speak any more. Much to my shame... I was just too overcome. I could see Nixie had her composure, at least, so she could translate what the Sylphs said. We went to a fountain and there the Sylphs showed us the story of how the world was created....
 
I can't possibly put ink to paper about such a story. It would do it no justice. All I can say is that I couldn't have imagined anything of the sort. Knowing what I know now.... I don't know if I feel better or worse. It is both beautiful and sad. It gives me hope, but also puts me on guard. I was most mesmerised, of all things, of that being that they called Aneith. Talion and Verfy and Nixie knew her by another, newer name: Xantinya. An angel that betrayed God and his angels and Good and everything. But did so in a way because of loyalty. Well, false loyalty if you ask me, but... Truth be told, I felt a little anguished seeing her story. I think that many would have done the same, maybe me too. God, is it that bad? Are we all that bad? You see, Xantinya had figured a different kind of home for her, I think, and it did not include God. That's the big sin. Not the betrayal. Well, the betrayal was the result. And Xantinya's fall was the consequence. If you don't want God in your life... well, then you get what you ask for. You punish yourself by doing this, I think.
 
Now, this Xantinya is bent on doing something to our world(s).
 
And, in all this, our beautiful Sea was... she had been tortured by a lich who ripped her wings and cursed half of her before she was saved and teleported to a different realm, those "Dimensions" Talion told us about. I now understand how horrible it must've been for Sea to sail around the Desolation whose curse was literally the source of her suffering and pain. Fortunately, she had no memory. God works in perfect ways. Truly, one can only marvel at all this.
 
I feel fulfilled, but also a little sad. I can't help it. I'll really miss her.
 
I am glad I could be with such great people around me, to feel and learn all this.
 
I want to tell Bart to go and have a nice long night bath in the sea of Sapphires. Just for once, I want to feel complication away, and return to simple, strong, huge feelings. Love, hope, faith, I need them, we all do. Sea gave us all this.
 
* * *
 
Dear Sea,
 
I know you're watching from Heaven above. Thank you. Thank you from all my heart. All my soul. I was not even half the soul I am now because of you, and I'm still far away from what I feel I must be, after seeing you. You must have been through so much pain and anguish, but you never let it stop you from helping us, from lifting us up. You were our little black angel, our most beautiful, wonderful protector, stronger than all the powers of men combined, wiser than sixteen councils and so kind.... so kind... I don't even know what more to say. Maybe there isn't more to say, the "more" is in what I had just said. All of this, I feel it stronger than anything.
 
I know you will watch over us, little beauty, you will always be kind to us. I pray I will be worth such love.
 
I will miss you very much.