Fire and Water

"That vast sea awaits us, in the end, and they say the boat only has room enough for one" Aedyra Vantior, in her To the Great Shore.
 
Dear journal,
 
I have to say there's barely a day on this ship that is not eventful in its own way. Certainly things have been this way even as we left the Western Desolation and then the Place where it All Began. I...
 
I can't lie to you, dear journal, I feel down. I was hopeful when I left the Place where it All Began, now I don't know. I am hopeful, it's not my general hope that's affected, it's that things are happening which make me wonder. And I'm not the one suffering here. I am well. Others have it rough. It hurts to know that and then write a journal about yourself, like some kind of egotistical Nutcase-woman. Hm.
 
But I need this exercise. And I have a duty to love myself a little, too, so here we go.
 
I got to the part where we traveled around these beautiful sun-kissed islands, with stones aflame in the morning or evening suns. Especially the evening sun, for to the west, beyond the island, there's only open water. What a land to behold... Freedom beyond recognition. I lived all my life in Ionolia, surrounded by this cage of mountains, a beautiful cage, a wise and peaceful cage, but a cage nonetheless. Here, in the free open sea, you can see what your soul is made of.
 
We had to hurry to Enneth. Drenizek had slept in the captain's quarters last night, and he made it out to the deck in the morning, but no farther than the door. Nixie brought him breakfast. She's a very kind captain. The kindest I heard of, that's for sure. I wonder why she keeps insisting on having this cynical outer layer. Oh well. I am not one to speak, I also love my hatefilled Nutcase-cranky-whore Eve outer layer. Carefully wrapped around me for years now. Especially the layer of last year is thick and juicy.
 
Anyways, we got to see Drenizek pretend with absolutely no success that he's not very sick. Poor guy is clearly dying. I decided to try to read more about healing in the Ordinator's book, but... that's not the subject matter, really. I always neglected this side of things, healing and medicine... I don't know, never saw myself as the make-you-better type of person. Rather the punch-bad-people-in-the-face type. You'll see how that played out pretty soon, dear journal.
 
So we were minding our business on the ship, as Talion went up to cast his vision on the world around us, to see where we were heading. There were a few islands and we wanted to make sure we wouldn't hit a dead end somewhere. Talion spotted a few people running in the woods. We were intrigued. So there were people here! Wondered who they were. Some lost culture? We were far west. Maybe these were the old peoples that all others stem from. Blessed Peoples. Talion told us about small Blessed Peoples communities in the west - he heard about them from his old party. I was curios, but knew we had no time to haggle with sightseeing.
 
Then Gerki shouted at us. He said he saw 3 people on the shore to the left. There were three small dots on the rather distant shore, yes. Well. What about them? Should we see what it was all about? We knew there were more people running in the forest. Where they going to attack? Well, with what? They had no boats or ships. We could try to come to them, maybe ask them for help. Bart wanted to brew a potion for poor Drenizek, and needed some plants. I swear, Bart is so resourceful.
 
Nixie decided that we should go and investigate, but not haggle too much. We decided to make a makeshift team of negotiators... Yea... Verfys, Heron, Pullius and I. Well, how in the world is that a team of negotiators, I don't know. But I wanted to meet these strange folk, so obviously I wanted to come. We took a small boat and Heron and I sailed it to the shore. In the meanwhile, the scene on the shore was getting interesting. More people showed up, chasing a weird creature, very tall, blue and with only one eye. It looked a little like a human, a woman, but... instead of normal skin, she had this blue skin with small blisters or... I don't know how to call them, bags of air I think? I don't know. A yellow eye, just the one, that could move around its oval head. No hair, but fins. Green fins, as well, were on the outer parts of her arms and legs. Talion told us, quite scared of the fact, that she was a strygian, an ancient race. Come to think of it, styrs means water in Old Elvish.... More and more of this makes sense. I immediately felt that we had travelled back thousands of years, that very moment. It was a horrifyingly nostalgic, sad and huge moment, I almost felt my heart burst.
 
We landed ashore, determined to help her. We didn't know who she was, or who the men were, but... The men had surrounded her, holding weapons. The strygian held two swords. She was outnumbered, 10 to 1. We had to help. I wouldn't let a person in need alone. First, we take them down. Then, we see what this is all about. Obviously, I didn't mean to kill anybody. Obviously I can't kill anybody. Look at me, do you see me capable of that? I thought so. I'm less mean than I look.
 
That being said, I wanted to smack them good for ganging on the strygian like that. Though she was something like almost two times taller than me. So yes, tall. And she could really defend herself (she held the swords parallel to the ground, clockwise, and spun very fast - slashing all around her - and look very very flexible while doing that. I don't think a human body could do that though). Heron told me he'd toss me into them. I said yes, sure (God, Eve, are you all right?). He did, but it wasn't much. I landed near one of them. They had seen us and were waving at us for help. I drew my Sharpest Tongue and was ready to try to make him fight me (a random guy), but he was faster and with a swing of his axe threw my sword away. Then another one tackled me to the ground. I felt like the last piece of paper in a bad unfinished book, thrown away by the writer. I was squeezed into a morsel and thrown to the ground.
 
Verfy came to save me and stuck the two guys like they were Laimon sticks the fish on her stakes. Well, one of them fell dead on my lap, as I lay there on the ground, and I honestly got a little freaked out. I saw death already, but not on my lap. And this time it was kind of my fault. Maybe if I had resisted... Verfy wouldn't have had to save me... Useless garbage that I am sometimes, I swear, why do I insist going into battle!?
 
Anyway, as mad as I was at myself, we had to continue. Verfy killed yet another one, and Heron hit their leader pretty hard. I saw the strygian draw her blade into this man's shoulder. Ouch... Pullius rubbed his demon friend on his shoulder or something, because he didn't do anything, and the enemy started running. They even placed a wall of earth in our path - they had a mage with them, it seems.
 
After we calmed down, we tried to get to meet this new strange creature. We found out her name was Chichips? Xichips? Xixirps? I think the last one. We all decided to call her Xi. Xi is a strygian, and that's all we knew. We found out she wanted her sword (the men had stolen one of the two swords she fought with). She was very happy we saved her and wanted to show us some gratitude, so she went to the sea, cupped her hands and took some water, which she then gave to me. I cupped my hands and look at her. Xi wanted me to throw this water on my forehead. I did that, heh, funny. She then asked me to do the same - we were communicating through signs and looks. I did, I gave her water and she did the same. She is so tall, though, I can barely look at her. Funny, this Xi, but so very very intimidating. Imagine this alien creature, 2 50 tall, strong arms and leg and a weird sword smudged in her own dark-red blood, which does seem to have magical property of sorts, as far as I can tell.... Yea. We saw she was capable of mass-killing us. So, we felt great to just have to water our foreheads.
 
We decided to call the others to see what we could do. I saw three dead bodies but also two captured folk. One of them, the leader. We could make a prisoner exchange, I guess. I wanted to help Xi, but also wanted to secure something for Drenizek. We came there to search some plants, so... It only made sense to get those plants, and these people may help... We just had to solve the teeny weenie problem of us killing 3 of them...............................
 
When Nixie and Bart came, they were angry at us. I understand why. Nixie said we weren't thinking about Drenizek, and I felt like garbage again, because I did, but.... I did try to help Xi with no ulterior reason, 'tis true. I can't NOT help someone just because I also have to help Drenizek! I'm selfish, maybe. Bart was also upset, I bet he hates my Nutcase-ways. I felt horrible and just decided to do whatever Nixie wanted us to do. We talked with Xi via drawings on the beach. We decided to follow the humans and get her sword back.
 
We did, and obviously we fell into a trap. Deep in the woods, they surrounded us. We narrowly avoided a fight, because our brave folk managed to get between the strygian and the humans, and Nixie tried to defuse the situation. She even went to discuss with the humans' leader, the mage. Long story short, we got to show them they were a bit narrow-minded, if not downright petty, since we had no wish for a war, only for peace. Yes, we killed 3 people, but they fought us, well... Ah, I can't be kidding anyone. It was horrible. I couldn't find myself in the right. I just couldn't. Why did I have to start that fight? Well, to save the strygian. Yes, I guess. I don't know. It could have been avoided, maybe, but it is what it is. At least the strygian was all right.
 
It seems the strygians and this particular human village were at war, and have been so for hundreds of years. We had gotten mixed up in their war. But this strygian had done nothing wrong, only wanted to collect seashells and was attacked.... It doesn't matter to them, I'm sure. They hate each other and that's it. But Nixie told them we would leave and make her not attack them. They couldn't obviously believe that, so we found something else.
 
First, we freed the prisoners, as Verfy wisely suggested, without asking anything in return. Then we decided to take Xi with us, so that she may not bother them again. In exchange, we wanted to all get out of there without a fight, and we also wanted (Very important) herbs and honey for Drenizek. They reluctantly agreed, not before making Nixie swear on it on an elvish blade. Hm.
 
Back to the beach, we had a quarrel at what just happened (as usually, people first make decisions, then they regret them instantly). Well, I regretted my decision of having gotten of the boat in the first place. I felt like some kind of braindead pirate, hacking through stuff. At least pirates can ACTUALLY hack someone, I can't hack a fish... Well... All that was ... unpleasant. The strygian told us she would go home, and then come back. We convinced her to come back, I hoped. We told her about the... Apocalypse? Yeah. And she ... kind of... understood? I don't know. I'll find out more once I teach her Woranian.
 
She left, and we were now alone on the beach. Xebec and the ship had left to explore the area. I couldn't stand Nixie and Bart's looks of utter judgement, so I left. Well, probably it was not so bad as I thought, I was the one doing most of the judging... Anyway, I wanted to be away.
 
Bart came to me later in the night, as the ship returned. I was having my pleasant night bath in the sea, when he came. I felt so much better seeing him, but of course I couldn't tell him that. It really struck me then, is Bart only glad to have me as his girlfriend so he could feel proud of how much I like him and you know - the stuff Heron told everyone? I don't know how I could have such horrifyingly stupid thoughts. What's worse... I told him that. Well, he came to stay with me, I told him why I had run off, he told me he had been a little upset, but that he doesn't disdain me or think that I'm an extremist person. I'm sure he regrets, somewhere in his soul, that he chose to love me. He does, doesn't he? It's hard to say he doesn't... but not impossible, damnit! Can't I just accept that he does?
 
I guess some miracles are harder to believe than others.
 
But enough with my own fires. You know who was burning? Drenizek. He was burning away and coughing away and in such a poor shape... And I think Nixie really suffers very much because of it, even physically a little. I can see it in her eyes. She cares for him, she cares for the entire crew. Well, eh. Yea. Ish. I can't say much on this subject, but... I don't know, it's a very complicated set of things going on in this Drenizek area.
 
I wont' haggle much on the next morning. We basically got the medicine from those people (who respected their end of the bargain - an underappreciated moment, in my opinion, these people still cling to their word). Not before facing the prospect of not seeing Xi return and of them asking where she is. Thankfully, Drenizek stalled them with a brilliant "thank you" speech (I swear, I think Drenizek might be even more resourceful than Bart, in a way). Translated into Elvish by our own Pedantic-Pullius. Oh yea, the people spoke Elvish.
 
We left, and were met by a strange occurence. Xi had been to her kin, surely. And her kin decided to help us for saving Xi and getting her sword back. A huge marine current was created beneath our ship, basically slinging it across the water. We could see strygians emerging from the seas on some nearby rocks, getting their goodbyes from Xi. The last was a kind of... priest? I think. Dressed in some flax-like material, white with red stripes, and a gold ornament around his only eye. He bowed his head to Xi, and Xi did the same. I think that strygian was her father? Hm. I'll found out once I teach her common.
 
Bart prepared the potion, and poor Drenizek got to drink an entire cocktail of syrups, potions and teas. A far cry from his alcohol-sipping days. He looked very angered that we had done all that effort to obtain the plants for the potion, but I'm sure he was secretly very touched. Oh... Fine. I know he was. We had a talk, later that day. He no longer had such a high fever, and could talk more coherently. And move. Although he was still coughing a lot of blood. He told me he needed more writing lessons. He told me what he wanted written down.
 
Basically he wanted to write down the names of all people in the crew. And something more. When I heard what he wanted to do.... I barely contained myself.... This sweet man wanted to write their names next to a Sea-approved smiley face.... And my heart melted (and I'm not phased by a lot of things, as you well know). Drenizek couldn't just die without telling us how much he cares for all of us... I understood it, then... He wanted to leave. He couldn't stay. He couldn't stay and die there, in the sight of everyone. If he had left... No one could know he had died. There could always be a glimmer of hope that he would survive.... He know that hope didn't exist. But... somehow, I think Drenizek always has a glimmer of hope, he just knows it's only hurting him more. I don't know. He wants to leave, yes, for us, so we would not mourn his death. He didn't stop thinking about what's best for us, even as he was literally burning away on our ship.
 
But the last thing he wanted to write hit me hard. His note to Nixie. It was basically a note saying "Nixie" and a heart, instead of a smiley face, and then a follow-up saying "The more I got to know you, the more wonderful you revealed yourself to be. I am sorry, it is best that I go". I wanted to tell him not to go... but truth be told... I don't know, I kind of lost all hope for him too, for a while.
 
Can something so.... I don't know what to say. But I never doubted Drenizek's strength of feeling. I was now reinforced in my appreciation. In face of this.... all my problems fade. In face of this... all else feels pathetic and small.
 
Who could have known, back then in Alomir, that the young drunk stick-wearing lad could have such a huge soul?
 
The next day, he did it. He announced he would leave, and tried to get on a small boat. The rest tried to stop him. I knew he wouldn't budge. Not a man in his position. Check the quote, dear journal. I don't think Drenizek heard about Aedyra, but he did know her truth: we are so so alone, not just at the end. But especially at the end. And all the rest are illusions and illusory gains you can so easily loose. Or....
 
When Nixie told him that she would never forgive him if he left, Drenizek did something unexpected (to me): he cracked. He gave up and started crying. The poor, stupid man didn't want that. He had tried to tell us all kinds of mean things just to make us let him go... But faced with Nixie, even if it was just for a moment, even if he believed he would die anyway... He couldn't. From crying, he went straight into a faint. Nixie carried him back to bed in the captain's quarters, and then they all found their respective notes, hidden around the ship since yesterday.
 
Maybe Aedyra is wrong. She was a lonely Nutcase-woman anyway.
 
You know what? I'll change the quote of this journal to something much, much better, from a person I respect a lot more.
 
"Do Marshlanders lay eggs?" Drenizek
 
:)