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5. The sea is vast
"I don't believe in demons. I have been enough" - Jebymma
Dear diary,
It felt appropriate to start quoting the big baddie himself, since we're getting closer to the Western Desolation. I sure hope we won't bump into liches. Well, this one is long dead. And the great men and women who defeated him died too, and now their legacy continues with... Talion. Life is full of irony, and Ionolia has plenty of it.
You see, journal, I feel as lost and random as the winds in the sails of our ship. I don't know what to do with myself. I'm all alone here in this great sea, it's a beautiful journey, but it's an empty one when there's no home to turn to at night, when stars are rising in the sky and peace covers all other thoughts.
Nevermind that. I need to first say a few things about our journey. It's been an eye-opener to watch Talion in action. He was always a bit iffy and awkward around people, but I feel power and experience made him much, much worse. Like how he likes to talk, and leave the rest to listen. And if he talks, be sure to understand only whatever he plans to tell you. Whatever that is, because Talion can't match word for word and make it logical.
So, for example, we were looking for Damaschini's ship captain, Xebec, a very pirate-looking and pirate-behaving guy. As expected, Talion comes to this bar with his mannerisms, proclaiming his name and probably exchanging some heraldic knowledge for all he cared. Bart chimed in to help us not get evicted by the cringe-guards, but Talion shouted some very unpleasant words at him and pushed him aside.
That was uncalled for. I made sure to make him understand that.
By the way, journal, he wants to make things right. He told me after. After I made a fool out of him, after I heard him praise his dead comrade Lyaria and talk more about her than he ever talked to me in these two weeks. He said he knows it's not gonna be easy but he'll try.
I want to believe him. God, I do. I can't believe it was all for naught. Why must I obsess over his stupid love? I never really got it! Why do I want something I never had!? Maybe it's better not to have it. But as I said some things never disappoint in reality, so maybe it's gonna be like it was with seeing Syomalos. But....
I have some brains left. The man is out of his mind. In his own world, somewhere, where he thinks he is right and where he always makes sense.
As for the bard... Bart.... hear this, journal.
This little runt got my every attention, cause he sings nice songs and is a very charming fellow in general, and is good company. I am so terribly alone most of the time, Nixie and Verfys are good friends, Heron and Bart too, Talion talks to his demon-friends I think, so, ye, I'm alone with my Tall Tales. So it's nice to have Bart accompany me with a song. He's likeable enough.
But then he made this stupid joke where he called me a demon, well, alluded to me being one. "A joke" he said. Can you believe him? A joke?
Why? Because I'm such an insufferable little monster? Cause I talk back when people are stupid with me? Or around me? I know I can be a pain sometimes, but... Demons are really not the creatures I'd like to be associated with. And BArt is no fool. He made the joke THE DAY AFTER the incident with Talion and his demon. Oh, I didn't mention it yet. I'll write about it soon. Anyway, serious stuff. And he makes this joke...
I honestly feel I'm perpetually unlikeable. Or maybe just surrounded by little kids. My drunken self wrote quite a good quote on that note. Well, Bart was an attractive "if". Makes me blush, still. He is nice. But he's the same mould as Talion. Not serious. Not consistent. He can't fool me. He's a kid. A spoilt kid, for all the poverty he likes to espouse.
If I could go back in time to one year ago, and I would have them in front of me, I'd choose neither and laugh at both. Right now... Life tells me I deserve Talion, I think I deserve Bart but I wish I deserved a man.
Well
The sea is vast.
Continue reading...
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1. Unilateral thinking
11 June 858 AC
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2. I love peaches
12 June 858 AC
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3. Mannerisms
16 June 858 AC
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4. Toy
21 June 858 AC
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5. The sea is vast
22 June 858 AC
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6. Black and White
26 June 858 AC
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7. The Lady and the Sheets
28 June 858 AC
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Well it's been a while
29 June 858 AC
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Magic-men
1 July 858 AC
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Last straw?
3 July 858 AC
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Bittersweet
6 July 858 AC
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Trials
9th July 858 AC
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Cheeky
9 July 858 AC
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No good
9 July 585 AC
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Long baths - not alone
11 June 858 AC
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Strength and hugs
13 July 858 AC
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Who is heading us?
14 July 858
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Dear Nixie
14 July 858
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Where are we heading?
13 July 858
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Hideouts
22 July 585
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Home
25 July 858
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The fight begins
3 August 858 AC
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Fire and Water
6 August 858 AC
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A little thought for my captain
6 August 858 AC
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Enneth
9 August 858 AC
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Smile
18 August 858 AC
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Our journey south begins
23 August 858 AC
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Sick
27 August 858
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Betrayal
1 September 858 AC
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Through flame and demons
15 September 858 AC
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None shall stop it
18 September 858 AC
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More friends than foes
29 September 858 AC
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Night Encroaching
30 September 858 AC
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Fish
5 October 858 AC
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What is real death?
10 October 858 AC
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As Above, so Below
10 October 858 AC
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Let loose the dogs of Hell
10 October 858 AC
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Trappings
11 October 858 AC
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The message
13 October 858 AC
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Eenie-Meeny-Miney-Moe
6 November 858 AC
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Deep cuts
11 November 858 AC ?
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Sapphire Sword
11 November 858 AC ?
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Respite
16 November 858 AC
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Heirs
27 november 858 AC
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Multiple chances, multiple minds
25 December 858 AC
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The Rains of Dusk
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The Speech
12 January 859 AC
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Where we make our stand
13 January 859 AC
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Our finest day
16 January 859 AC
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Towards the last steps
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The Battle at the Tower (2)
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The Battle at the Tower (1)
1 February 859 AC
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Years apart
22 January 861
11 June 858 AC
12 June 858 AC
16 June 858 AC
21 June 858 AC
22 June 858 AC
26 June 858 AC
28 June 858 AC
29 June 858 AC
1 July 858 AC
3 July 858 AC
6 July 858 AC
9th July 858 AC
9 July 858 AC
9 July 585 AC
11 June 858 AC
13 July 858 AC
14 July 858
14 July 858
13 July 858
22 July 585
25 July 858
3 August 858 AC
6 August 858 AC
6 August 858 AC
9 August 858 AC
18 August 858 AC
23 August 858 AC
27 August 858
1 September 858 AC
15 September 858 AC
18 September 858 AC
29 September 858 AC
30 September 858 AC
5 October 858 AC
10 October 858 AC
10 October 858 AC
10 October 858 AC
11 October 858 AC
13 October 858 AC
6 November 858 AC
11 November 858 AC ?
11 November 858 AC ?
16 November 858 AC
27 november 858 AC
25 December 858 AC
12 January 859 AC
13 January 859 AC
16 January 859 AC
1 February 859 AC
22 January 861
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