The fight begins

"The paths we all tread are for us alone. But who says we can't wander off to someone else's path every once in a while?" - Nelis Karmyn, in Fifteen miles away from Weldyn.
 
Dear journal,
 
We are travelling full speed through new lands. I've never felt this excited before. The Place where it all Began gave me incredible energy. And Bart here... too. Eh. You know me, dear journal, always incapable of expressing any of my feelings.
 
There is much to tell. More than a week has passed since our beloved Sea left us and went back home to Ftheis. I still miss her dearly. I have this reflex, every time I go to sleep, I tilt my head to the right and smile. She usually stayed on the right side of the bed, beside me. And she would always turn her little head towards me and I could feel her smile back at me. I still feel that smile, whenever I do it now. It warms my heart to know she's happy. I am happy. I just miss her a lot. It's not the same to not have her here. To not see her little mask and her little hands and her beautiful being. She was my greatest inspiration.
 
I always think Bart is far wiser than I ever was, maybe Sea tried to wise me up in time to not make a fool of myself. I think it's too late for that, but somehow Bart still....
 
Loves me.
 
Yes, he said that when we were in the Place where it all Began, on those far and wide meadows. We spent the night bathing in the sea, and the water was so warm and pleasant, and the waves were small and playful and we could easily swim away, we went all the way to the edge of the cliffs and found a nice polished rock under the water where we could sit, with water only up to our shoulders. I was in this awestriking place, filled with such life and beauty and purity, and I felt that... Well, I felt my feelings like I was feeling the water and the smooth rock, it was tingling me and filling me up with this huge simple happiness to be and to be lost in Bart and to be together, like those Lights were when. Well, we were one and I felt that I really really... loved him.
 
I don't know how it can be so fast and strong and true, I couldn't doubt it, but I was ashamed. We went back on the grass, naked as we were, alone in nature, everything untouched, we were simple guests in that paradise, and we didn't intrude with any element of our world. The earth and grass were like blankets, and I could feel no cold and no sensation of coarseness. I climbed on his chest and we went to sleep, but both of us stayed awake. I kept thinking about what I had felt and was still feeling. I had spent the most incredible, hard and... well... the fullest part of my life with Bart, even if, time-wise, it was a short while. That short while was so intense... And I got to know him, and to see him in all these different lights, and to be around him in this evening in a place where all parasites flee and only the strongest, purest feelings we have in our hearts can remain. If you listen to them. And I listened, but couldn't say a word. I am mad-Eve, Nutcase woman and all. Bart likes me, but I'm only his cute poppy, not really something that great, or that pure.
 
But he said he loved me... I was as cowardly as a mouse and hid behind his right hand and kept my mouth shut, then I panicked, he'll think I don't love him, then he said "you don't have to say anything" Oh no he thinks I have nothing to say I panicked even more. Well, in the end I told him to look at me and see what I feel. He did see it! My eyes can't lie, but I felt relieved. I was too much of a coward to utter any words. At least my eyes are not cowardly.
 
I'm sorry, dear journal, I skipped some bits while ... Now that I read this, I'm sure people will call it "cheesy". Let them. I love Bart. There you go. Don't believe me? Too bad. I'm gonna make sure you see it.
 
So so going back to things that won't make my blood burst through my cheeks, we got to decide what to do next. All the information we now had... it had to be used. We settled on going on a mad journey through the west, believing that the Syomalos and the Great Southern Sea were connected via this Sunset Sea that Talion knew of from his old party. There, in a place called the Bronze Coast, lies Enneth, an Elvish town of great beauty, it seems. A last remnant of the ancientmost elvish lands. Before the nightgaunts of Fordel. I read very little about Fordel and the nightgaunts, but I remember being taught by mage Lymah (who as you remember also taught me Elvish) that the Elves fled from their initial homes, driven by a terrible curse. Well, it seems that not all the Elves left. A couple stayed behind.
 
I imagine they are wise and strong, and could help us see things better and maybe join us in fighting Evil. You see, dear journal, we decided that our rallying call would be a Fight to save our Souls, our world as it is, which allows us to go back to the Almighty. For our enemy must want to ruin this chance, this occasion, and have us all imprisoned so that it could feed off us. Good luck, demons. I'm gonna punch you in the face until I have no strength left to do so.
 
Well, we were going to go to Enneth, and maybe other lands, Sten, Vedia, others, all the way to Vaneolin and the Continent of Elements. I felt sad for Verfy and Nixie, whose home is far away, in the middle of a war. They know not of its outcome. Maybe the war was won by this Ghebaro, the "soldier-king" who fought against Xantinya... or maybe the reverse applies. I remember Heron suggested the latter outcome, in a very tactless manner. I was very angry at him. Can't he read the room? Or can he only read our.... ughog. Nevermind, dear journal, I need a break
 
* * *
 
Coming back, Naked-Heron had a naked remark so we had to calm the girls down. I couldn't really lie to them. I have no idea if Xantinya was defeated or not. They wanted to rush back home. I understand that. I really do, even if I don't feel the same about Ionolia now, maybe if I knew there was this huge war and that Ionolia could be lost... Well, I know that a war is coming. And not just Ionolia, but all lands are in peril.
 
Now, with this new road, we could go to the Continent too. I initially wanted to go back east, whence we came (it sounded safer and a lot lot faster, we could reach Vormiol and talk to Yanis who has all the power). But Nixie is right with this new road. Well, not because it would be safer (it sure didn't sound that way). But because it has more meaning. We were going to visit old Elves and humans, we were going to go through the places where we all started. The Blessed Peoples lived here, the Elves lived here, and some still do. And we were going to help the Elves, these noble creatures who lost hope and live in sadness. I know that the Elves are too old, perhaps, and feel that their star has fallen, but I think they are the wisest of us and could guide us in what is going to be a very hard war. A war against enemies like undead, but also a war against demons. And, most of all, a war against our own weakness and sins.
 
Nixie was rather dissatisfied with our overall plan to save the world. She felt we had no real target or idea. Verfy and I jumped in on an idea of an offensive. For example, to the tower Talion Pullius told us about. In Haj et Laon. But then she was terrified of THIS idea as well, saying we were sending men to die. I don't really understand what Nixie wants us to do. Do nothing, or do something? Well, something, but she wants a perfect solution I guess. Like Verfy a while ago. I understand that. I really do. But that doesn't mean we should question our chances.
 
I told Nixie we had to trust we could do more. I gave the example of Illien's book, written to a "Better man". Any of his readers could be Better Men. He didn't know, but he believed, so whoever could be better would listen and just be better. We are small, but we don't know what part we can play yet. Like NIxie's stage allegory. Maybe our roles are small, but one second of improvising and we capture the whole scene. Or, maybe not. But whatever little think we do sets something bigger into motion, and someone else does something. Or, rather, our small actions start other small actions and soon everybody goes to this fight knowing of our purpose and of our enemy and we stop this enemy from winning.
 
The surest way is to attack first. I am sure the necromancers will be part of Xantinya's plan. We should destroy them. A new, better Ael Velle, perhaps? Nah. This is much bigger. And it should include more than just men.
 
I liked Heron's idea that the Orcs may be part of this. Maybe the Orcs are crude, but I don't believe in inherently evil creatures. Even the Demons were Angels, once. And evil isnt' a "something" like Dualists believe. It's the lack of a "Something". So evil can be conquered. Good has to be destroyed, and since the epitome of Good is God (indestructible, immortal and All-powerful), Good can never really die.
 
Neither can Evil, mind you, because of our free will. But here at least we can fight, and try to keep it at bay. I wish Nixie had more faith. I wonder what she thought of my letter. I mean I'm sure she read it, but she never alluded to it in any way....
 
So, west it is. Most of us agreed on that way, even our new recruit Marv. In the morning, we got to tell the crew. They were rather surprinsingly all right with this decision. They must hate the Desolation. Marc almost wanted to kiss Nixie when he heard. Hah, I get him. Even Dillen agreed. He's usually more skeptic, but I think that these people no longer care that much about coming home so quickly. They have been through a lot and I think that, maybe just a little, but they feel stronger, and more daring. They are already too daring for their own good, I must say. I mean, they match me, and I'm the maddest girl in Ionolia. Not that it counts for much, I know, Ionolia is a peaceful and rather predictable land. Well. Maddest girl on the Syomalos, maybe? Hah. At least that.
 
Our travel started off well. We had good winds, and good spirits. I sew a Mask on my last white sheet and created our new flag, which I gave to Gerki to rise above the main mast. Even this angry Fastodan was a little touched. I felt that in his eyes, hah. No one left the Sapphire Fountain the same man, I'm sure. I'm proud of us, truth be told.
 
We left the Sapphire Fountain and ventured into the open sea. This was no Syomalos. There was wind, strong, permanent wind, and the waves were larger and rarer. I asked Xebec and it seems there's a strong eastward current, but the winds were blowing south for now, aiding us on our journey. You see, our gamble was that this sea was connected to the Sunset Sea. So we were going straight southwest. I was very curious to see what we would encounter on our way. No one new. Not even our map. I wanted to tend to my Bart's stab wounds, but what do you know, the sea and earth at the Place where it All Began really helped, his wounds were already closing. I touched him when he didn't look, and tried my little magic on him once again. I don't want him to know I'm taking care of him like that, he'll think I'm too mushy. I'm not mushy! I'm Nutcase-Eve!
 
Verfy came to me to talk. She asked me if I wanted her to move back in with me. I apologised to her about that silliness from the last training, when I left like a stupid mop. She apologised too for .. I don't know, really, she's so nice to me... Anyway, it would have been very nice to have her stay with me, but I kept thinking about how I wanted to be with Bart and.... And our perceptive-brainy-warrior got it, damnit. I was very ashamed. Bart came too and Verfy told him to stay with me and Bart agreed and I had to agree too but ugh I usually go for what I want but Verfy really intimidates me, because she's so nice and I don't want to hurt her in any way. I really want to stay with Bart because well all the above... don't make me repeat.
 
Ugh, fine. Because I love him and he loves me. Isn't it normal? I don't know who I'm arguing with...
 
Then, something happened which will forever haunt my dreams. Naked Heron (he was dressed though) saw us and looked at me. And well I was just in the process of thinking about Bart and me in the same room for good and I was very enthusiastic because Verfys was very cute and approving of us and now I started making plans on how to make Bart feel how I loved him and.... GET OUT OF MY MIND YOU PERVERT GET OUT! He was looking at me!!!! No! No!
 
Then Nixie came to him. No. No. Nixie please, I wanted to jump and stop her, beg her. I felt what was gonna happen. They started talking, then I saw them come. The others were around, too, and Heron started speaking his mind about what he felt from all of us. Why!? Why!? It seems Nixie asked him about us. WHY1?!!?!? WHY!?!?! JUST WHY!?!? Nixie I will never forgive you! I swear to God I will make you pay for this....
 
He started by telling us how Nixie was very curious about Xebec's thoughts, and Dillen's, and Drenizek's etc. What curiosities for our captain! Maybe she should keep those curiosities to herself instead of detonating the sexy-sense-bomb called Heron. Well, Heron was not one to back off from colorful, insightful dives into our minds, so he continued. He got to Verfy and apparently Verfy was imagining some kind of combination of unclean actions between her, Nixie and Xebec (I felt all my purpose flee, and I sensed how God would smite us every moment now). And then he turned to Bart and it seems my Bart was thinking about that night in the water of the Sapphire Fountain, when we indeed had been very... restless. Oh, no. He turned to me. No. I panicked, but I couldn't stop him, we told him he could do this! Who told him that? I remember saying NO! Why? He started speaking about MY thoughts! I couldn't help them now, they were all over my mind because of the well context I mean they bombarded me because I was panicked and he told them all, I felt like a silly dirty horrible whore and some kind of monster. Pervert-Eve they will call me now.
 
In lack of a better idea, I jumped into the water. I came back eventually, and when Heron left Bart and I could finally kiss again. I must say it felt nice thinking that Bart was thinking about me that way, I mean, he loves all of me :)
 
I realised I shouldn't care so much at this point, now that people know about pervert-Eve. But it's easier said than done.
 
Aside from this horrible moment, we had good days. I kept teaching Bart Gavan, while I was also trying to find that perfect rune for my little surprise. You see, Bart's birthday was coming, and I needed to find something just right. I was reading about protective runes, and also from Illien's book, and thought of a mechanism. 100% Eve-design, which would express what I couldn't really tell Bart at the Fountain. I am so silly. I have to speak to him through runes!
 
Bart is really getting good at Gavan. We can now have whole conversations. So fast... He'll eclipse me soon. Hahah. My smart Bart.
 
But the quiet days would end soon. We woke up to a gloomy sky and winds, which quickly evolved into rain. Then, into storm. The waves got bigger and bigger and bigger. At some point, they started to resemble mountains, rather than waves. I had heard about the tales of the southern pirates, on the waters south of the islands. The great open Southern Sea. But this was worse, far worse, dear journal. Waves as tall as the cliffs of the Fountain would hit us, throw us in the air, from where we would come crashing down into these huge chasms between the waves. The rain was like millions of whips, and the noise of waves splatting and the howling of the sea and the roaring of thunder was deafening. The boat was all over the place.
 
Amidst this watery hell, Xebec stood tall at his post at the helm and kept shouting swear words at us. At one point I saw Nixie cling to his leg like clinging to hear dear life. I was to help some of the crew clear out the water from below deck. We had a leak and Bart went in with Vadrek to fix it, but each time we "rode" a wave the crack kept getting bigger. To make matters worse, Xebec decided to go full suicidal on us and snuck us beneath a gigantic wave whose top was falling down on us like a continuous hammer of black water. We rode beneath the wave, and the madman kept laughing. God, what a man! I can understand why he's Verfy's type.
 
I had to help, but I don't remember clinging to my role. I was wandering around the boat. Xebec called me at some point, telling me "Move it pinchy coward! Help them!" but I couldn't really understand because my head hurt. The wave pushed me to the side of the ship ( think the right side?) And I just threw up. I remember falling like the paper-girl I am. Defeated by water. Shame.
 
After the storm, I had to find the last remaining shred of my dignity, probably scattered on that ship or with my vomit. Well, I couldn't find it, so I admitted my defeat. Xebec smirked at me. I know he tried to mobilize me with his "coward" remark, he must know how I hate cowardice. But I wasn't in the mood to answer that.
 
The days following the storm were very, very calm. The sea was now quite nice. Little wind, but no problems, we were moving constantly. We had been pushed back north, probably, Bart told us, and now we were going west. In the meanwhile, we got to do another one of those you know training helping whatever sessions, where we share feelings and thoughts because that's what normal, good human beings do, Eve! That day's session was going to be about what we had learned.
 
I told them something about how these sessions are a little torture for me, and Bart squeezed my hand and I told him it hurt and he said "Do you like it?" And Pervert-Eve said hm maybe but Trying-to-be-a-normal-human-around-normal-humans-Eve said CARE FOR HERON and OH NO HE MADE EYE CONTACT WITH ME AND HE SAW RIGHT THROUGH no!
 
Nixie, I hate you! Also, no rope is missing, I don't know what you're talking about.
 
So, we all got to talk about what we learnt. Heron said he doesn't know yet, he has to think about it. Verfy said she felt a fire within her, an energy to do something, to fight, to protect. I felt likewise. My warrior-apple Verfy will smack some undead skulls, I'm sure. She's got a renewed strength and that's good. I feel she's less confused than before. She's a tough soul, but also a soul still searching a strong equilibrium point. Just because she's more decisive than Nixie doesn't mean she doesn't have the same doubts. That applies to me as well.
 
Nixie was pessimistic. She felt anxiety, more than anything. We again discussed about our purpose, our chances. We can't start with the negative, with the "no" with "stop this", "kill that". I had told her that defeating Xantinya was a purpose, but not the main one. We shouldn't be afraid that she's a demon. We should be wary, yes, but not discouraged. I think Xantinya wants us to be afraid. I can't really understand demons all that well, but I'm sure she'll want to scare everyone into thinking she's undefeatable. I don't believe it. Some way exists. We have to find it. And believe it. Maybe it's as simple as believing it. And having the heart to stop her.
 
Hm.
 
There was something else bothering Nixie. Our party-boy Drenizek had been coughing a lot lately. It seems he was also coughing up blood. Vas the ship medic told us he was alright, but in the meanwhile his condition was worsening. I'm not sure what Nixie really thinks of Drenizek, but she seems fond of him. He is the kind of guy that still makes me wonder. I think I can say a few certain words about everyone on this ship. But not about Drenizek. He's still undeciphered. It looks like King's touch - that's how Woranians call it - or consumption... I sure hoped not. I have no knowledge of disease, but I remember visiting a hospital in Marion. Those affected by consumption were catered for by priests. There was no cure for that.
 
Other than the touch of a king, they say. Well, the days of healer-kings are gone. I don't know. It made me sad. I again hoped it was something less... deadly.
 
* * *
 
As we were progressing back south, we were finally met with land. Land! Was it the shores of doomed Du-Ul, or some other realm from the edge of the world? Gerki shouted that there were white cliffs, on fire. Cliffs on fire? That had to be wrong. As we went closer, we saw the phenomenon ourselves. The cliffs were white-yellow, with some inflexions of a mineral which reflected sunlight from both the sun and from the sun reflected by water, creating distorted, imperfect mirrors that shone almost like flames dancing on rocks. It was mesmerizing. What lands exist in this world, and how privileged we are to see them....
 
I wrote a poem that day, for Bart. His birthday was up, and I had been working on this small lyrical disaster. I always dreamt of writing an epic, I hate poetry, it's for pansies. But I wanted to express something to Bart, in a way he would understand, but not in a way that would take 1000 pages and be about some boring allegory. I can't write anything, it seems. The poem was cheesy and cringe and nauseating. I threw it in the fire and watched it burn.
 
Now I had no poem. Sad-Eve. Had to make do. I prepared something else. A rune on a plank, that would create the most beautiful fireworks in the world, if Nixie would help me with some fire.
 
I talked to Nixie and Verfy about making a party for Bart. We organised ourselves quickly. I was to help Laimon make a fish-cake with the fresh fish we were catching from those shores, and I would use colors from Vas' arsenal to split the cake in five sections, one for each of us. We would each leave a nice mark on the cake. I chose the Sylph's circle. I hope Bart understands why. Home, near Ftheis. He is my home now. He is my home.
 
It was a beautiful party, for the most part.... it's complicated. First of all, it was afternoon, and I presented Bart my rune-gifts... He liked them! My little gauntlets. I was so silly and shy. I think he never saw me that way before. I felt like a little silly girl. How could he love and respect me if I was like that!? I told him I loved him. I had to. I had to say the words to his face, to his eyes. He was so happy. I couldn't help feeling the happiest either. I once again used my third vial and decided to show him I'm no pansy girl. HERON GET OUT OF MY THOUGHTS THESE ARE MINE AND MINE ALONE!
 
That evening, the party was ready. It was full of games and fun. We even had a dancing contest. God, I'm bad at dancing! In fact, I'm an outright disaster at dancing. Bumbling-legs-Eve they should call me. Ruined my poor Bart's efforts to win, but I liked dancing him much more than I hated my lack of talent.
 
You see, dear journal, it was a near-perfect day, save for one thing. We found Drenizek lying on the floor inside the mess hall, near a small pool of blood. He was indeed very sick. That was clearly the dreaded consumption. I didn't want to say anything, but... Drenizek almost ordered us to go back and have fun. The poor guy just wants us to be fine and happy. He hadn't sung in a while now. He had no voice to do so. He was coughing all the time.
 
He did take a break, with Nixie at his side. He returned later and joined the games as if nothing happened. I'm sure others saw it as well. He's weaker. He's paler. He moves a lot less (he used to climb around the ship like a monkey). I don't know what to do. He's a good man, he doesn't deserve all this pain...
 
Today I feel all these feelings combined. I am hopeful, though. I was never this hopeful. I thank Bart, and I thank Sea, who watches over us. I'm sure she carries our prayers to Ftheis, and puts her own sweet prayer in as well. Sweet Sea, I hope I am worthy of your many lessons.
 
* * *
a b c d e ddd n n ni xi e
 
* *
 
Sorry, journal, Drenizek wanted to exercise some words. He seems he wants to write something. He told me it's just something short. Whatever is wrong with him, it's more than the disease. He seems lost. He kept saying he doesn't want anyone to find out he wants to learn how to write. He only wants to learn how to write a couple of words. I'll try to help.