Let loose the dogs of Hell

"Do onto the self only the highest Art / So they can't tell you and statues apart" - alleged rime sang by an old servant to the last governor of Alghazia, Gava.
 
Many of the old jokes are coming back to me. Old jokes told by people long ago, when the world came crashing down on them. I used to memorise a lot of such "wise quips" because I found them funny and because it fit well with my overall cynical bearings. You know, dear journal, how much I loved to play the part of harsh ironies, fiery tongue, if you will. I always liked being satirical, if only a bit. So, the quotes came in handy.
 
Today, I feel almost the same, even if I'm inside the quote, now. As you may say, I love drama. I don't, actually, love it. I just feel everything with an unhealthy intensity. My father used to say I'm "affected". Theatrical. Because in theatres in order to be able to convey complex emotions to people in just a few lines, with just a couple of gestures, you need to compensate for the lack of time with an increased intensity. But why would intensity be only for theatres? If people want to use more of their mind, the same goes for emotion, right? The more of something you use, the more... you, you are. Goes for brains, heart, muscles, even. I'd like to be the fullest version of me possible. That's why I'm "affected". Wouldn't it be a waste to be anything less? Sure, hate me for it, dear journal, God is witness that I hate it myself, but I also think its advantages, in the end, outweigh the cost. Only by investing can you have a return. Only by giving it all you have can you understand the world around you.
 
But who am I to understand the world around me? I'm no one. You don't have to be someone. Only to want to become. If we don't understand (and I mean understanding not in a purely rational or analytical way, I mean true, complete understanding), then what are we even doing. That is why I was and am so devastated now. I don't understand. I thought I began to see something, but I lost it. Remember that revolt? Yeah, happened one day ago, so. It still scours me, night and day.
 
The Alghazian verse was supposed to be ironic because it is the strive for excellency that ruined Gava, and also what made them indifferent to the horror of necromancy. Or, rather, to any solution to counter it. Ionolians felt like statues too. The entire world was frozen in place by this strive to implode, to isolate, to stop prying, stop trying.
 
I don't want to become a statue, dear journal. I still hear Sea's kind words. She wants us to be noisy. Oh, boy, do I plan to be noisy. But, somehow, now I feel the need for some quiet.
 
Although little time has passed since my last entry, a lot has happened, and things are in motion which exceed my pathetic musings. So, I should get to that. As you remember, dear piece of paper that has no memory other than mine (I am being so silly today - focus, Eve!) we were left to regroup in Legondol, with the PRimordial Beech destroyed and Bajid dead. We hardly talked. The girls I think had a discussion with Kelly. I'm glad she stayed with us. Back then, she risked her life to face Xantinya, even if the logical choice would've been to join them. She had all the reasons, but I guess some of Sea's grace did get to her. Our little angel has great powers, greater than demons. Sure, demons can trick you into stupidities, or make you destroy something. I wanna see them try to create anything, though. Even the smallest creation trumps the greatest of destructions.
 
If you want some philosophical banter spread on top of this journal-bread, I may add that the above statement is obvious even in the realm of physics. Great Ordinator Laminan wrote that the energies of this world are slowly inclined towards chaos, that no matter how much we try, energy is lost on the way, that is why a perpetual motion machine can't be built. But energy is created with each new magical aura, i.e. each new soul and being. But, yes, it's easy to waste, hard to create, in the physical world. All the more in the world of the mind.
 
See, dear journal, that's the kind of thing that sounded logical to me until very recently. It still sounds. Why am I writing this!? I... I almost feel normal while doing so. Maybe it could jumpstart some memory that would enlighten me. I'm as lost as I was this morning. Uh, forget about it. I won't understand. This world is just a Hell with some nice illusions sprinkled on top, and knowledge is one of its prettiest illusions.
 
I even forgot my idea on the way, I was telling something. About Kelly, yes, she's with us, somehow, and very confused about it herself. Eh, no matter. I feel as lost as she is, to be honest, which shows exactly what my faith is worth. 0. Zilch. But getting past that... We were all absorbed in our attempts to help the Elves. At some point, the king called us in his chambers. Nixie and Tallion told him about the branch... Hm. The branch. Poor Elves. As if glimmers of hope are in any way less sadistic than total defeat. I know, I'm a bit too intense even for me. Or rather, cynical. I never was a true cynic, but I loved ironies. Now, I truly feel like all this is futile. As I said, I revolt. I don't just accept it. I hate it and revolt, but think that it is how it is. My revolt is.... Ah, screw my revolt. You know what, dear journal? Screw my thoughts and feelings. They are demonic bullshit anyway. I don't deserve to put them on paper. Let's focus only on others and on what happened.
 
So, erasing all the above, we were in the king's chambers, and we told him about the branch, and asked him what to do. He decided to give the branch to us, for safekeeping. The king looked devoid of life already. Poor him. He fought bravely and sacrificed everything for that one stand against the Ikain. All for nought... The.... no, no revolt, Eve, focus. There he lay, thanking us, and then... he died....... No one expected that. We left, tear-eyed, at least I was........
 
I was tired, we all were, but there was no time for rest. We had to regroup. I wanted to check on Lullaby, but it seems Damaschini went the same way as I. He entered the room where we put her and tried to see if she responded to anything. She didn't. I didn't dare enter, I don't feel in any way prepared or worthy to cheer anyone up. Or help them in any way.... Speaking of, I looked at the rest. Poor Nixie...... Not only is she responsible for us, now she is responsible for the branch as well, all this while having the knowledge of the Beginning of the World on her shoulders, and the realisation that the Beech tree is dead.... the pain and anguish we all felt, but combined with all that responsibility and all that while being an Elf caught in this tragedy... She is very strong. I'm beginning to see that thing I sensed Drenizek admires her a lot for: our captain is adamant.
 
Speaking of, Drenizek was in dreadful condition. He didn't even want to rest, he helped us with the wounded, but he was worse than everyone. I mean, he literally came back from the dead. I barely heard him talk, and he clearly isn't feeling well. But he still seems to only try and help out. God he's stubborn. And the rest are just lost... Most would want to say something but... What? Dillen, Vas, Isbel, Marc are all silent as the grave. Bart barely said anything. Verfy, usually so keen to raise spirits, was probably the only one, with Tallion, still clinging to something. Tallion really strikes me as very hard to truly shake. I'm not sure if he just ignores things, doesn't ask questions or whatnot, but he just continues going. Not the same way as Nixie, though. His position is better, too. But his little branch did give some hope to Nixie, I saw, and I appreciated that.
 
Finally, after a little rest (which I used to write my Revolt) we decided to meet up with the interdimensionals who came through the glyph for Lullaby and Bajid. There were 6 of them. A former lich (!) Jevyan, who is really an undead, but he renounced evil. A master of some kind who bears no name but calls himself the Guardian. Reinar, who uses a spear. Andirs, who uses a sword. Selda, who was a pirate, and Marnas, whom they call "the dictator". They all went to see how Lullaby was doing so we wound up all in her room. The crew couldn't resist the urge to eavesdrop.
 
The Guardian was their leader, it seems. He asked coldly what had happened. We told them. He was not glad about the xy thing Xantinya mentioned. Oh, no. We had discussed before between ourselves that it looked like we had to open the gate. I must confess, at the time I couldn't think a lot. I just agreed with opening it. I won't.... I can't stop doing what I was doing so far, even if I don't see the sense it in any more. I mean, if we act to save a life, is it going to be worth? It seems no, there's no worth on Earth, so... No, eve, you insolent nut, who doesn't deserve capital letters on her name, shut up. I was actually glad we seemed to be in this agreement. Well, it wasn't a very complex talk.
 
The interdimensionals, however, had other opinions. The Guardian wanted to keep xy shut. It seems every dimension has a weird Death-Tower like the one in Haj et Laon, and that Xantinya is readying for the opening of xy. We can't know for sure, but it will have a big negative impact. Well, we know, of course. We know who's waiting there..... Probably for eons. But...Eh.
 
Verfy, Tallion and Nixie were very compelling in defending the opening of xy. Nixie argued that opening xy might just be the way to go forward anyways, since the gates between dimensions exist for a reason. I mean, maybe, or maybe that's the leftover of how the dimensions were created in the first place.... I didn't care about the gates that much. I just wanted to save someone's life... But truth be told, I think that as it stands we can't stop the End of the World without involving, well.... all the world. So, Nixie has a point there. Verfy argued on the emotional level that they should save Rafil's, and Lullaby's, lives. And Tallion was mostly trying to combat the interdimensionals' arguments. Which can be summarized as "we don't want to risk anything, xy will destroy us, Xantinya can't have this last advantage, we have sacrificed a lot to protect the world, we are ready for more sacrifices". Cold hearts claiming they sacrifice something.
 
Except Jevyan. The lich was actually very, very angry at the rest for thinking like that. He wanted to help Lullaby. But the Guardian was adamant, and that Reinar guy was a straight-up asshole. I waited, and felt what could soon happened. I wasn't surprised, then, when the Guardian announced what solution they envisaged: they would kill Lullaby. That way, xy would never be opened. Problem............. solved.
 
See? Maybe it's this, that jumpstarted my heart back. Weirdly. Maybe there's something to it. The sheer monstrosity of these "Defenders" of the world. That's the alternative. Is our way futile? If it feels so good compared to this? Nixie claimed they were unreasonable, but rationally they had a point. Isolating the dimensions would help. Plus, xy should not be involved in the first place. It's not like Lullaby likes to be Xantinya's toy. Obviously, Xantinya would never let it to us to decide all this had she not known that one way or another she will get what she wants, but maybe her "main" plan is to use Lullaby, so we could at least delay her by killing Lullaby and... see!?!?!?!?!! IT'S THIS KIND OF CHESSPLAY ATTITUDE I DESPISE THE MOST. We are not goddamn scribbles of ink on a map, or wooden pieces on a chessboard. That's how these mighty interdimensionals see the world! That's how XANTINYA sees the world. Screw that.
 
We tried to reason with them. Most horrifying of all, this discussion was all being carried out IN FRONT OF LULLABY, who just lay there, motionless, unable to defend herself or stop anything. She did get up at some point, I was surprised. She took the glyph and put it on the bed, near her. I could feel that she went for the glyph out of pure instinct. There was no thought there. I don't think she hears anything, I mean, her ears hear, but her mind doesn't register it. It's as if you'd put a wall around your mind. All the pieces of information like sound and such would end up at the gates, waiting forever. I think the others were quite frustrated she didn't say anything. They can't see how she's suffering? Exactly! She's so calm and motionless BECAUSE she collapsed!!! I can't even say if it's better to be like that or to be left to feel everything at once. She might lose her child that way, so.... At least like this they both are safe, for now.. But........... I don't know.... Will she ever recover?.... I'm worried for her. I don't know her, much, at all, really, but... She came to our aid, even though she had her problems, her child to take care of.... she fought, for God's sake, fought for us while pregnant, endangering everything she holds dear for us! Her child, her husband, her country even, cause she had to leave it for a while... And I saw her fighting with Xantinya... what I believe of it, I don't know now... then, I felt something hopeful. Now..... eh. Still, she is a good person, truly, so I won't abandon her.
 
If they don't want to take in this burden, I will. No qualms with that, really. I'll take care of her.
 
So, shouting how we should or should not kill her was.... about the worst think I've seen, wait, I can say that about at least 3-4 things that happened today alone. Oh well..... Tempers flared, swords were drawn and..... Jevyan positioned himself between the rest and Lullaby. He was ready to defend her. We wanted to do the same, but... Jevyan started talking weird. His skin shed like the illusion it was, revealing his skeletal, monstrous, body, with purple glimmers in the skull. This powerful lich surrounded himself with magic and proclaimed that he had been the lich they knew him to be all along, and that he waited for the inevitable rule of Xantinya. He pushed us aside and fought the interdimensionals, who, enraged, went to attack him. Well, the dictator actually had a moment of doubt, but they convinced him to follow suit.
 
I think Jevyan was just trying to distract them, but, boy, did he act well. I almost believed him. If it were not for how his magic dispersed. Eh, bookworm antics, eve. See, dear journal, the logic of dark arcane is in its unfettered nature. You release it and it goes to consume, corrupt, destroy. Its dispersion is always strong, if not checked in by a purifying factor, which usually for necromancers is either a conduit (xenatine, blood etc.) or an extreme will to some direction, which is compulsory to be a destructive will (So you can cast the spell to begin with). So, when Jevyan unleashed his arcane bolts, he did it sideways and in the front, but not behind him. Which would be impossible for a necromancer like him to do with normal dark arcane.
 
He was protecting us.
 
We reacted quickly. We had to get in the glyph. We hurried our crewmen, but.. oh, the fight.... The ceiling dropped on us. Huh, that entire side of the castle was falling. Jevyan increased in size, ever more powerful, as he struck down with lightning bolts of dark blue arcane on the five interdimensionals. They were... friends? Before this? Hardly possible. They actually thought of him as a servant of Xantinya. The fight was.... immense. And they were destroying Legondol, the bastards, as if it hadn't gone through enough. I understood Jevyan. There was no way to stop them. The three strongest ones (guardian, spear and sword) were far stronger than him, together. So he had to go all out. And they went all out too. At least be more considerate.... when being a murderous group of traitors hellbent on "protecting" the world by "sacrificing" others. myeah, what did I expect.
 
We went into the glyph, as that Reinar guy created a massive lance in his hands, kilometers, long, not exxagerating, swinging it above its head, almost creating tornadoes, and striking Jevyan with it. They all attacked at once, just as Tallion rose into the sky to assist? I think???? I went in. Seconds later, Verfy appeared. A couple of seconds later, Tallion emerged, shouting "destroy it!" So we quickly crushed the glyph.
 
Where are we now? Well, the other end of the glyph. Which is where Gilders had left it when he first came. Near the INterdimensional Gate, which is in the Haunted Marshes. Yea, we're in the Haunted Marshes now. Quite a ride...
 
Tallion told us he teleported to the rune on our ship, before using the glpyh. He found that the deck itself had been torn apart from the ship and placed in a weird big hall. The Guardian followed his teleport so he had to use the glyph. Tallion was devastaed, we all were. We didn't expect this to happen. I mean, how cynical do you have to be? These guys were POWERFUL, I mean truly powerful. Allies such as these are almost impossible to find in any dimension. And now they're enemies. Because.... Because.....
 
Not all those who are strong are right. More often than not, they are the wrong ones. Maybe we should seek allies elsewhere....? I don't know. What are we to do, now? But go forward.... The Guardian and the other two want to protect the world by sacrifice. What about protecting every person you come across? That's easier to do. And more effective. And through that, the world may be saved. Otherwise, it's just... monstrosity. Well, now here we are in the marsh, reeling in from all this. Alone, more alone than ever. Lost, more lost than ever. Hanging by a thread. We were supposed to fight Xantinya, but she defeated us. Our allies are dead, gone, or turned into enemies. The few friends we had left (the Elves, the Woranians led by Sylvia Halvel) are now hundreds of leagues away. Thousands maybe. We are back here in the wilderness, far away from the threat, far away from Vaneolin, which we tried to protect....
 
The kingdom of Vaneolin is dead, the king had proclaimed. There was no kingdom without the Beech Tree. But the Elves still live. We HAVE to protect them, right!? Well... till then, we have a job to do.
 
I won't let Rafil or Lullaby die. None of us will. For that, we shall do it. Let loose the dogs of Hell. We shall open it, the last dimension. The last remaining gate. The realm of Death, eh. The opening of the realm of Death, which will bring Death upon all the world, is that what you mean, Xantinya? The Gate is here, nearby. I can feel this already. Xantinya must be laughing all the way. Good for her.
 
I will NEVER be a statue.
 
Now that I think of it.... The Great Sylph told the Ikain that they don't know real Death. Hm.....