More friends than foes

"If you look up and count your foes, you will bear them all your life. I counted friends, and they kept multiplying" Conrad I of Worania, upon facing off Falsnor XII of Rascodia before the battle of Tora.
 
Dear journal,
 
I feel physically weak, but I'm trying to write. This journey really tests my poppy-constitution. Hah, warrior! Haha, it's as if the Almighty tries to transmit through every possible means that I'm not one. It's fine, I got it the first time. I think the era of childish dreams is long since over. My dreams have been evolving of late. Like, for example, I now would like to dream more of a small white angel with a beautiful smile...
 
Our journey is almost at an end. I mean, our original journey to Vaneolin. I'm more than sure it's far from over in the bigger scheme. Heh. Or it could be over tomorrow night..
 
I'm trying to focus on the story, to keep my stupid thoughts away, but I'm not very good, dear journal, you know me. I just have to think and overthink and pollute myself and others with my stupid mind. I can't stop thinking whether Nixie still considers me my friend. I'm so afraid I've lost her. I have to brush this off. Far worse stuff happen to other people, as I'll explain.
 
We reached the island of Roib, and we talked to that Roseld fellow. His means of solving our problem were far from benign, so we had to have a discussion on what to do. Nixie and Verfy and Heron wanted to use Roseld at least to get into the Inner City (without actually carrying out his plans), but I thought that was dangerous. A man like Roseld doesn't just collect randoms from the street and send them to kill the leaders of a powerful shut-in city like that, without a plan. And without means to clear all witnesses, including the culprits themselves (us). Bart and Tallion agreed with me. Strange how this time Bart and Tallion agreed with each other, and Verfy and Nixie, respectively. Usually Verfy and Tallion are the ones to side with each other. Well, Verfy is less cautious than our magic-man.
 
Still, since Nixie had the deciding vote in a tie, we went with plan A: following Roseld's plan, to a point. We agreed to have him get us into the Inner City. On his terms. In his pace. I immediately sensed something was very wrong when he immediately called us into the Inner City. Things moved fast and we were soon past the huge and incredibly thick Great Seal (the main gate into the inner city). I'm not good at descriptions, but... That was a sight I can't forget. Past those huge iron doors was... the greatest city I've ever seen. Columns of granite, sculpted into the volcano, flanked a long, beautiful corridor, lighted by tenths of weird white lights that shone past stained glass on the walls. The corridor split into several smaller ones, but the main road led to a roundabout, in whose middle a huge column lied, with tenths of arches sprouting out of it in all sides like the petals of a flower. They were literally sculpted like petals. I've never seen such craftsmanship before. And the soldiers escorting us had weapons of great finesse, halebards with spikes instead of a blade, and tower shields curved so that a soldier could stay in guard position with his lance on the side of the shield, and his head still protected by the upper-right corner. I saw others bearing even more terrible weapons. Big iron and wood sticks, with an iron barrel at the end. I've heard something from Tallion before: they were muskets. I immediately remembered those weapons the IDS used, the guns. They were guns. Roibans have guns.
 
I was also impressed with the attire of the citizens there. Well, obviously not all were inner-city citizens, most of them were from Greygold Port or Taloa, the two outer localities. But the inner city folk wore white cloaks tied with red or blue cardigans and wore expensive necklaces with pearls and silver or gold and small spherical glass beads with mercury or some other reddish substance (I think bromine) in them. Weird people. Rich, nonetheless.
 
Soon we found ourselves before one of the 5 councilors we were supposed to ... eliminate. Perrin Gertis, or something. I decided to shut up and let the grown-ups speak. Well, it didn't last very long. Gertis thought we were representatives of Vaneolin, who came there to talk money. Ewelon Roseld fooled us... It was obvious. I became nervous. Did he just want us to do both his plans at the same time? Or was it something else? When Gertis started pointing out that Tallion was in Damaschini's crew, and that Damaschini had stolen something from Roib, I understood... The chamber was shut, and I was very distraught by those obsidian tracks on the ground (very beautiful coupled with the marble planks on the floor, had this futuristic and immaculate look, but... I thought it was more than just decorative). Then he arrested Tallion for stealing! And I got it. It was going to be a mass wipe.
 
Yup. There you go. The door opened and soldiers wanted to pour in, but Bart reacted quickly enough, blocked Gertis in a time bubble and Verfy knocked him down. Bart quickly found the button used to open the door and shut it. Only one soldier had made it through, and Nixie took care of him with an ice spell. But now sleeping gas poured from all sides of that circular wall. Bad, very bad. I tried to muster all my vitality into those moments, just a few moments I needed to stay awake and strong, so I could help... Useless me collapsed.
 
After that, it's foggy. I don't know exactly what happened, and I never really asked that much. I remember waking up in terrible shape. My head hurt like a million hammers, or like my dad and Tallion bickering me in the same time. My face was on fire. Literally burning and stinging. I demanded a mirror, but those boots only spoke Roiban. Finally one gave it to me and I saw myself, all red, face kind of swollen, like some boiled chicken. I was so ashamed of myself. What happened, though?
 
It mattered not. I was worried for the others. The doctors told me to stay put, or so I think. Normal-Eve would attack them. But I'm good Eve now, I have to be good and behave. I can't cause problems right now. Remember our blasted situation? Maybe Tallion was arrested, well, all of us, maybe we were accused of murder!
 
When they finally took me to them, I found out all of it was true: we were prisoners, and accused of murder. Cute.
 
But when I saw Bart and the rest, I could only feel joy. I hugged Bart so hard but it hurt my very skin. I must be peeling off like a new potato. I tried to hide myself from Bart after the fact but my skin kept shedding and I kept having problems with my face, luckily for me Vas helped me with some healing ointments and at least my face became better. Back to the main story though and not the story of how cute poppy Eve lost the little cuteness she had and turned into Potato-Eve, we were accused of attempted murder. It seemed Gertis had vanished, but not before, while hospitalised, accusing Tersiolis king of Vedia and Roseld himself of trying to kill him. I looked at Bart and he grinned. What did you doooooo????
 
Well, whatever he did, it worked. There was a trial, of which I mostly remember by headaches: headeache no. 15 was the judges citing the accusation. Headache 17 was Tersiolis speaking. By headache no. 20 (a very big one) Kelly came and promised to build some anti-dragon thing. Huh? Headaches 21 to 25 prevented me from registering that information.
 
By the time the trial was over, everyone was acquited, and Kelly had earned a bag full of gold. Oh... I never understimated her resourcefulness, but still... I think she thinks she's being stealthy, but I kind of understand her logic. She wants money so she could buy what couldn't be bought in her own dimension: magic. Probably for her face, not her weapons. Maybe she hopes someone can reconstruct it.
 
Still, I don't want to belittle her. I have to admit that despite my initial distrust I'm starting to like her. Maybe it has to do with what happened next.
 
So, we got out of Roib. Only then did my addled burned and boiled brain process the fact that Vadrek was dead. He died in that room where I boiled. I couldn't believe it. Vadrek was a tough one. Even with his back in shambles. I really felt bad. I doubt he ever thought he'd perish, not like that at least. He deserved better. He deserved to die fighting in the war against Evil, not... Ugh. I said I won't think about all these stupid things.
 
But the reality is that we did nothing in Roib. The Iomenites and others who came with us were long since gone. Roib never offered to shelter any of them. We were basically thrown out of the inner city.
 
Just as we left 21 dragons came fromt he sky.
 
Ye. Twenty one dragons, like that children's song about doves in a tree.
 
Well, Kelly's canon thingie shot a shell full of alchemical wonders which froze-pierced one dragon's head. Wow. I was shocked. Never saw something that terrifying that was not a.. you know, a dragon. But only one died. And these dragons had riders. And the riders shot rays of distructive fire on the cannon and destroyed it. We just scurried away. Nothing we could do... Is Roib destroyed? I....
 
I can't gloss over this, damnit! I hate this! Why can't I be myself!? Because I'm stupid!? Why can't I be myself by being smart!? I JUST HATE WHAT HAPPENED! I would've ignored that old prick even if it meant getting arrested! what coudl he do to us, accuse us of stepping on his flowers!? We could shout our way into an audience and plead to these idiots to get a move on, take their most important artifacts and just scurry away to safety! Roib was the most incredible thing I've ever seen, and now it's possibly destroyed forever!! Who knows how many precious artifacts and knowledge and technology is lost!? I'm sure Kelly learnt some alchemy and didn't tell us (she had only 5 days but she's Kelly, smartest human I've ever met). We left as foes, not friends, and they fell almost in front of our eyes.
 
I don't know. It doesn't feel right. All of this. Are we so weak? Not us like this boat. Humans in general. And Elves. And all the races that are now getting stomped. Is it so easy? Was it always? i doubt that. They would've stomped us a long time ago, if it were the case. Then? What happened? I remember the discussions between the mages who drank with father. And the discussions between Tallion's classmates. Magic fails. Humans are greedy and evil. The kingdoms of men are dying. Worania is a lie. The 30 peoples were united only for 20 years. The orcs are rising. Bhah. I never thought I'd see the end come so sudden. But... People have been feeling it for generations now. Ever since Illien tried his Ael Velle, his campaign against the Orcs... No one tried after him. No one tried anything. Now, we die.
 
Fine.
 
Not this boat!
 
That evening we had a... discussion. It was a very heated argument, really. Us, the party, plus Dillen and Xebec and Kelly. They started arguing on the dragon story. Nixie was mad we thought of ourselves as invincible, and Verfy and especially Bart were mad that respecting Nixie's orders meant overstepping their morality. I couldn't understand either. How can Nixie be on the other side of the value scale? We all share the same values! We all want to protect life! Nixie understands the value of life! Why accuse Nixie of not caring that much, or of having different priorities!? But then again, why did Nixie keep saying that going straight to Roib would've saved us time!? (when Roib in an of itself was our big failure, not Iomen, where we barely lost a day or less). Maybe I was arrogant for charging up the street to fight that dragon....
 
Or maybe.... I don't know. Is it so I can sleep at night? I can't sleep at night. I try. I see Roib burning. Do they!? I see Iomen burning. Do they!? It's not about who is responsible. What relevance does it have?! All this destruction and death.... It's... A DONE THING. I can't stand this! Done things! We will never see Prepo or Vedia or Roib again. Names that either endured the ages or that were brand new creations of hope in a better future. Now, dead. The great Change destroyed them all. The New World Order.
 
I'm arrogant. For believing I'm a warrior. I know. I felt that. That's why I threw my sword away. I'm no warrior. I want to protect life. I've pledged myself to that. I promised, maybe not consciously, but I'll do it now, here, I promise I won't hurt the living. I'll fight Death, and Destruction, and Evil, with the weapons that I can wield. Not that of a warrior. But other weapons. Which are maybe just as good. They'll see. I won't let any more of them die.....
 
In the end, I couldn't stand that argument. I felt Bart and Tallion were ready to question Nixie's position as captain at some point, Xebec even presented it as such: either be loyal or choose a captain you can cope with. But then it all changed when we slowly realised the room was acting strange. The demon had come. It shut the door and started throwing stuff at us.
 
Then the wall itself............... bent. Like the bending Tallion described you could do if you reach a higher understanding of the fabric of the universe. Pieces of the wooden wall transformed into superfast growing spikes that pierced us. The demon could manipulate the physical world around us! Now I think I know why, it's because of our magical essence, because our magic is corrupted by terror, and anger, and other such miseries, and the demon can tap into that and use its own power to bend this magical essence and all that depends on it (matter, for example). Damn demon is strong! And we are weak.....
 
I won't get into the details of the exact "Battle", for more relevant is what happened in our minds. We somehow all reached the same point (it took Bart a while longer, it seems, because of his fight with Nixie he just couldn't be there at first): we all thought of our wonderful Sea.
 
Kelly had given Verfy (Who was badly hit by the demon's magic - uncounscious and almost possessed-like) Sea's mask, and I don't know why she did it. I looked at her, she was panicked, I think for the first time in a very long time, because she was more confused at her own panic then anything else. But she did this one thing that changed all my perception of her. Maybe there's something human in there after all....
 
By the end, all of us were together in mind and spirit, linked by our love for each other and for Sea, who had protected us and loved us so much more, unconditionally..... And.....
 
*smudge*
 
She came to us. I don't know how, why even, other than that she loves us so much that she could transcend everything. But the demon was chased away from our souls, and Sea herself, white, winged and all smiling, came into the room. That's when she went through all of us hands opened, in a big ethereal hug we couldn't feel physically, but that warmed us more than any fire or blanket.
 
I don't want to squander that moment, but.... I'm not worthy of that.
 
That's when we saw Xebec was not lifting from the floor. Some of us checked and, well... he was dead. A spike pierced his chest. He died protecting Verfy and all of us. He died fighting the demon. He was a fine man.
 
*smudge*
 
It's hard to even write. Damn. I... I don't know. After that, Sea left a cookie, a real cookie, beside Xebec's head, and....
 
Ah darn it. She is so beautiful and kind, I felt a drove of emotions overtaking me. We all did, actually. When she did leave, I wanted to stop her at first, but I knew it was inevitable. We are worlds apart. Yet she still feels close. That moment we knew she is there, above, thinking about us, trying to help us. I felt no disappointment, no anger, no fear for us, even. Only love. Her innocence is disarming, but, in many ways, so, so strong. I think it gave us some strength, too.
 
Clearly, Verfy needed that. When we got out, it was already dark; obviously, no one had heard anything, as if the captain's quarters had become a separate entity during this fight. Anywhoo, the crew were confused to see us finally emerge, wounded and battered and overwhelmed by so many feelings. We explained to them, to the best of our ability, and we announced the death of Xebec.
 
I didn't see any face that was not at lest troubled. Even Dillen was overwhelmed by that moment. Xebec had been their captain and, even if they hadn't acknowledged (some of them), they respected him a lot. I don't imagine they believed he was mortal, even, since he always went where the fight was thickest and emerged alive out of it. But now, no more.
 
I tried to comfort Verfy, in any way I could, but I decided to leave her some space. I saw her cry in a faraway corner, unbeknownst to anyone. She wants to be strong, for the crew. She IS strong, stronger than I could be, but she still has many feelings and can't just bottle them up. I know how she loved him. I'll try my best to stick around and make sure she's fine. I know she can't be outright and I'll respect that. I just hope she'll be left alone by these stinking demons.
 
We sent off Xebec on a small boat, which Verfy ignited. It felt like the end of an era, in a way. For some reason, I felt that our time on the ship itself was drawing to an end. Xebec was gone, and he had held the helm since forever. Hm. The prophecy he fought fulfilled, in the end. Or maybe it didn't. He died, yes. But his death, and his life, will not be forgotten, by anyone on this boat. And I'm sure his name will live on. Either transmitted to our children, and our children's children, or through that book Nixie is writing, which I'm sure will be a cornerstone read pretty soon in the future, when- Almighty give us strength - we will have overcome this Change or Doom or how you want to call it.
 
Xebec has shattered his prophecy.
 
The next days were gloomy, but in the same time a little hopeful. Dillen now holds the helm, he's not great at it, but not terrible, either. I still have headaches, and I feel constantly on the brink of getting ill, so I spend my time in bed reading the Runebook. Oh, I've started practicing too, I need to be able to see if I can finally use all the connectors and components I learned about to create these more complex runes. Soon I'll be able to help them, more truly.
 
I am quite annoyed with myself that I couldn't really help them then, with the demon. Not too much, anyway. I failed to wake Verfy, I failed to protect Bart or help him come with us. I spent those days at sea mostly in bed and mostly reading, but I wished I could stay with Bart. He sometimes spent time with me in the room, practicing his singing. He has such a beautiful voice. I know he wants to reach any soul, but he always reaches mine already. Uh, I'll have to somehow talk to him about what happened in the room back then, with the demon. I'm not very sure where he stands now, especially regarding Nixie. He seems to have overcome most of his negative thoughts, but I don't know. I want to protect him. I love him. He must not be hurt! I'll multiply my hands by one thousand and lose all of them before anyone else lays a hand on him! I'll also use my thousand hands to slap him for not trusting Nixie!
 
I just hope these wounds would heal already, and these headaches would pass. Bart probably thinks I'm disgusting. Oh, dear journal, if only you knew! I'm writing some things, but not all. Like that I really needed to feel pretty and loved. But I didn't want to bother Bart with such superficial things.
 
I really am changed, am I not? Months ago if I wanted something I would reach out and take it. I still do that with some things. But not with all. Heh. In any case, those days were quiet, as we traversed the Naga Sea. Most of the time the weather was nice. It's not a bad place, the coasts to the north are inhabited by Elves, but they are at the edge of Fordel, must be a tough place to live. The sea itself draws its name from Nagas, a weird animal part fish, part human, with some very powerful jaws. We didn't encounter them, luckily.
 
Oh, I also spent some time teaching Xixi our language. She started to really pull through. We can have basic conversations in common and she understands quite a few words, even if she's incapable of pronouncing most of them the right way. She also really can't pronounce the letter r. And she calls Tallion Etetek, as in Heretic, but I think she no longer hates him. Somehow, I think she might actually change her perspective on his heresy, but we haven't talked about it.
 
I also spent some time talking to Drenizek these days. Our lyre-singing monk had an inkling on what I was reading in the Letters to a Better Man and asked me some questions about my ability to resist spells. We ended up talking about reinforcing body with our spirit, and having the will to break a sword by just blocking it with the palm of your hand. It seems Drenizek wants to be stronger. And he feels that at some point his body alone will not be enough. He is very sad that he can't protect us. His will almost scared me. He is determined, and I mean really determined, to fight for us and grow in power so he can better protect us. But he feels he's reaching his limits. He can't fight dragons, or armies of undead, or necromancers, or the like. He wants to find ways to transcend the limitations of his strength. So I'm trying to guide him, as much as I can, mostly by reading what Illien had to say on these matters.
 
At some point, Tallion told us we had to change directions. Awaiting us at a narrow pass between the continent and the island of Tolss, named the Gamble, was a small fleet of ships, and Tallion saw two red eyes on one of them, a black ship Verfy recognised as being a Nalvoragent - a ship used by Xantinya to transport Radovians to the Continent of Elements, for her war there, years back. Huh.
 
We decided to go to Nesim, the Elvish city in the south of Arodil Forest. Go go, ship! We kind of feared the worst because of that damned Nalvoragent and the red eyes, seemingly belonging to this Cato fellow, who, as you may recall, is actually dead.
 
We did enter Nesim bay and the city appeared before our eyes, with its white walls and large harbour. Only one slight inconvenience.... Flying atop the towers were flags, but not the flags of Vaneolin..... but the Three-pointed Lance...........
 
I've never seen a ship turn around so quickly. The Elves followed us. Their leaders had just boared our ship so they could talk to us about what to do next, when we saw the flags. Now we were running back, but we saw some ships coming from the south, from afar, and reckoned Red-eyes-Cato was coming too. We were pursued by some ships that left Nesim harbour, too. They had black sails and bore the strange mark we found at the temple in Riponia, an eye surrounded by a red ring. And Also the Lance. And the ships were manned by undead Elves....
 
Poor Elves. They were devastated. We were, too. Was it too late already!? Was Vaneolin already gone!? What was going on? Why did the undead fly the Three-pointed Lance? Who created these undead? Where did they come from? Very, very chilling thoughts...
 
We beached the ships on the Irilosi shore and made a run for it. I, still cowering from a general sickness, wasn't particularly fast. I saw Kelly collapse like a brick after jumping ship. She's having her weird episodes of going limp, again. I lifted her up but she wound up almost carrying me. I'm so weak. Well, poppy-Eve managed to get her legs to work (more than her still red face) and we ran into the woods, not before discovering the trail of an entire army that marched north a week and a half ago, through there. Myeah. So the undead landed on the Irilosi Peninsula and marched north. Where did they come from, though? Ugh.... Is nowhere safe anymore? Probably. Xantinya did warn us, didn't she...
 
Well, in those hills in the middle of the peninsula, we were kind of safe. The Elvish druids kept scouting for us. The last time she did scout, she found that the city of Metherol (our initial landing target) was besieged by a massive undead army, which seemed set to assault the city in a day or so. They had rams and siege towers and the like. What to do?
 
We discussed it at length. The Elves, led by the 3 Wise members of the council, wanted to help their brethren. Nixie was a little undecided at first. Bart wanted to help as much as possible then flee, but that wasn't an option, at least not in my Nutcase-book. Well, the Elves were with me on this one. We also asked the crew, and... well. I saw the faces of brave men and women lift from the ground and stare back at us. Drenizek was the first to say "yes, we go to fight". The others followed. Marc was a little unsure he could be of use, since we were "monsters" and he was weak. Hahahaha, MArc, you poor fellow, I'm far weaker than you are. Plus, you survived a lot of stuff. You won't die today. Nixie told him exactly this (well, the last part, not the Eve-is-weak part we all know anyway). And it worked. Xixi was determined to smack some undead skulls. As for Kelly.... I think she's still too confused about the demonic encounter to think properly, otherwise she would've protested, I think. So, everyone was on board. We were going to go to Metherol, slip past the siege using the druidic powers of our Elvish friends, and help the city survive the assault and prevail.
 
Next morning, we woke up early to start moving towards our target. Metherol was close by, we could see the hills starting to decrease in height. But before we left, something incredible happened. Some kind of person rushed through the bushes and burst out in front of us, almost giving us a good scare. He was exhausted and kind of scared, frankly, but he spoke our language, and his first words were "Damn your dimension!"
 
I was wide-eyed, and so were the others. We took him to our side of the camp and listened to what he had to say. His name was Gilders Raspadon, and he was the brother of this Bajid guy Tallion and Damaschini and their party had met back in Dushen / the dimension of the spirit. Why was he there, though? It seems that Bajid and his wife Lullaby (the Queen from the Tallion story - woops) sent him to find Damaschini, Tallion or any other member of the old party in order to find out what was going on in our dimension and to ask them whether their help was needed. Lullaby and Bajid and Gilders found out about the war Xantinya launched from none other than Tallion's least favourite companion Zarkuz the Ikain. I remember Tallion said not to trust this guy, Zarkuz. Gilders and Lullaby and Bajid also seemed not to really trust him, since the lattter two sent Gilders here to find the truth. They can't come in person because they're king and queen of a big country and because they could be detected. But Gilders is not an "interdimensional" if you will, he can't bend the elements of reality, so he's a regular guy. Well, I bet he's not really regular. He told us about his very rich childhood, it seems he had his fair share of fights, especially since their group (which was made of them three plus a girl called Antonia and some creature called Ghighi which Tallion described as insufferable and Gilders as genius - so I know whom to trust) had many adventures of their own. Anywhoo, he came with the message: "do you need help? If so, we'll come".
 
I found out Lullaby is actually pregnant. Does she really want to come to this festival of death and destruction? She has her own kingdom to run, apparently. Hm. I don't know much about them. I'll ask Tallion. It seems we have more friends than we thought. I wonder what Zarkuz wants, too. Gilders said Zarkuz wants to come to the Primordial Tree. He doesn't seem to be on our side, but he isn't exactly an enemy, either, since he helped us. He might try to play both sides, for all we know. Still, his help could prove decisive....
 
We have more friends than foes. I can feel that now. Strange. I feel hopeful today. Very hopeful.
 
I know you are here with us, little star. I love you Sea <3
 
May the Almighty protect us and shield Metherol and its inhabitants, and give us strength. The War has finally started for us. May we have Your blessing to prevail.