The Black Hole

Dear Diary,
In a few days, it will be the end of the year. For many people in this world, it was another year, like the ones they lived before, for others it was the year that destroyed everything they had and changed their lives forever. And for us, dear diary, it was the year we started the journey to fight for this world. When I saw all those fragments of memory from this year, I almost couldn’t believe it’s us who did all of that. In this year, we had good days, when we celebrated and hoped and made lots of noise. But we also had bad days, when we stood silent in defeat, looking desperately for a way to stand up again and get past what we have lost. And how dearly I sometimes miss what we have lost! And today, I must say that I feel grateful for the chances we have gotten that let us be the ones who go through this journey. And at the same time, I feel a little proud of all of us. WE FINALLY FUCKING DID IT! WE FINALLY FOUGHT BACK! Maybe, by tomorrow, we will be attacked from three different sides with undying elves, demons and only the Almighty knows what other dangers, but at least for today, we got to be happy.
 
But the world keeps spinning and moving and turning, and although it is the end of the year, our journey is far from being nearly over. And as bright as today was, the days before seemed a never ending line of darkness in our thoughts. To be able to tell the whole story, I must first talk about what happened since last time I wrote. We were still counting days until we get to the black hole, and we still had no plan of how to send the message. I began to be very worried about this especially because Eve has suggested a plan in which she would look at the black hole and send the message herself. I just couldn’t stand the idea. Back then, a few weeks ago, the idea seemed like it was the same matter as it was with Marc. We had to sacrifice one person for the sake of the others. And I was very angry about it because I couldn’t understand, why and how this had to happen. Now, seeing Eve laying there in the bed, heavily wounded, made me realize this problem of mine came only from my selfish desire to not lose Eve. I would say that Drenizek was right, and all these small wishes we have, make you falter however weirdly enough, it was also my selfish wish that got me out of this madness. But that only happened later in the story.
 
For now, I spent all the time I had, thinking of a solution that could help us out of this, without having to sacrifice Eve. Even when training, or washing or eating, my mind was always trying to grab on something that could give us another idea. I even thought of what we could do if we didn’t send the message. But, there was nothing there. Not one idea that could help us. Not a single one. For the very first time, I felt really pressured. Like we were really running out of time.
 
We had many discussions about this subject. Some days ago, Nixie gathered us all to discuss what’s next. First, we needed to talk again about our plans for the black hole. Then, we had to choose how we were going to get there. I was really hoping that the others would have had more luck in finding a solution for the Black Hole. We started the conversation, throwing ideas here and there, in hope to find something. We discussed that maybe we could use the connection with Hell to get to the Black Hole but still no point. The xenatine would kill us anyways. I even tried to link this to Motar,maybe since he was the latest one to join the demons, there could be a chance. Nixie dismissed the idea immediately and I could understand why. It was pure madness to trust them. Vas and me thought that we might get some sense of humanity from them, but it was very little hope for this plans. Soon, the room felt silent. Very silent. And although the others were not saying anything, I could sense the heaviness of their thoughts. I knew that Nixie didn’t agree to Eve’s plan, neither did Tallion, who in hope to save Eve, he offered to sacrifice himself. We all would have done the same. We knew that and yet it was only Eve who could have done it. And above all, it was the possibility that Lullaby would be hurt in this mission, causing her to lose Rafil. I don’t even want to think what it was in poor Eve’s mind at the time. She must have been so sad to see all of this, and still, with a fierce courage she kept insisting her sacrifice was the only way we can do this. But the more she was saying that, the more I could feel my heart shrunk a bit. I looked again at everyone. We couldn’t have this conversation. There were no words that we could say to make the situation easier. “If we keep doing this, we will only keep hurting Eve and ourselves…” I thought. It was in that moment that I realized we would probably go with this mad plan. I tried to say something, to change the subject to next point on the list, maybe at least we could set that problem apart. But while talking I felt like I’m giving up on my friend, silently agreeing to a plan, I never had the courage to agree out loud.
 
Soon, the conversation changed on how we would get from Abi-Dii to the black hole. We could have chosen to try and talk with the nation named Gla. They have very advanced technology so they could have helped us get very close to the Black Hole. The problem was that they did not believe in anything but “efficiency”. And, dear diary, as you know, we are anything but efficient. It would also take us a few days to try and convince them to help us. And, we had to give them all the information we gave the Orshags about the planes. Let alone that when they would find out all of this, we could not be sure if they would let us go. But this option would guarantee us that we would have all the necessary equipment, and we could use the fastest way to the Black Hole. Plus, we could warn them about the coming war between the ITA and the Commonwealth. You see, this planet was the closest point to the Black Hole, and thus, half of the star would be affected by the Purple Horizon. Apparently, all the planets keep rotating slowly. So, the population of this planet has to constantly move from one side to another. Coincidentally, a full rotation was about to end at the same time we would be in the area. What a coincidence, right? And as Nixie doesn’t believe in coincidences, she wanted to find out if this could be linked in any way. And I have learned to trust her instincts.
 
The other option we had was to travel with a pirate, a fugitive from the Commonwealth, sharing the same feelings for them as the Orshags. Of course, it would be easy for them to collaborate. It was a risky option because if the Gla would find an unknown ship around their planet, they would destroy it. To avoid this, we needed to take a longer route, with a small stop on a nearby star that was neural, where we would risk meeting the Gla anyways. But, travelling with a paid pirate means that he would not ask questions, nor he needed the information about the planes. And this option would also give us a way back.
 
After debating, both options would take around the same time. In the end, we have voted on this matter, and decided to go with the pirate. I guess some things never change.
 
Now, the next part of the story is once again linked to what happened a few weeks ago. After the Zidith was destroyed, we found ourselves in the Evo-Drive. With no information gathered, we now needed anything that we could get our hands on to find a way to send the message. It was also Eve who came up with a plan. She felt that her connection with Lullaby, would be useful for finding out more about the planes and how to manipulate them. At that time, Nixie gathered all of us, and we had another one of our weird conversations. It is still difficult for many of us to understand the planes and many things related to it, so for the sake of understanding, we have to make a lot of comparisons. This time, we compared Lullaby with a lake of sorts, and Eve would need to be a fish which would swim in the lake, without disturbing anything around. So, in normal words, the plan was as follows: Eve would need to sleep so that she can have access to Lullaby’s memories, just like that time when she had a dream of Sikorki and the other guy fighting. Of course, we couldn’t access any random memory, because otherwise we would risk to access an unpleasant memory that could wake Lullaby up, so we decided that Eve should focus on memories related with Sikorki. In the meantime, Damaschini would use his planes power so that he could create a way to guide Eve through the memories and at the same time, inspire the right feelings. On this task, Bart also helped by singing. As for the rest of us, we had to hope and pray. As Vas put it back then “Prayers have more powers than you think”. So, while Eve was asleep for a good few hours, we prayed and prayed and prayed, until everyone was almost asleep.
 
In the end, the plan worked. When she woke up, Eve told us about some memories she has seen. The first one of them Eve (as Lullaby) was in a different world, not one that we knew. It was similar to the chest, but a lot bigger. And there were many people there, including Sikorki and the guy he fought in the first dream. Eve(as Lullaby) could see what was happening from a platform, where she was held hostage with chains. It was a memory where Sikorki put his life on the line, by fighting the other guy so the others can be set free. Both Sikorki and the other guy, were strong, and the fight lasted for a long time. Until one point when Sikorki, triggered by one of his thoughts, threw Lullaby’s sword to Eve (as Lullaby). When Eve (as Lullaby) took the sword, she felt a strong sense of assurance. She grabbed the sword and somehow managed to break that pocket dimension. All the people that were inside, were very surprised when, in a second, they found themselves in the middle of a field. It seems that, the other guy, wanted to become the master of the universe, by defeating “The Five” interdimensional. From what I understand, by using her sword, Lullaby managed to reset the reality, just as she did in Legondol with the undead people. According to Eve, in the memory when Eve(as Lullaby) grabbed the sword, she felt a very natural, strong connection between Lullaby and the sword.
 
The second dream Eve had, was a memory of Sikorki and all the other interdimensionals. They were doing some kind of training for the planes, where Sikorki was trying to explain to them that in order to manipulate anything, it is necessary that you feel. There was no way you could use any manipulation on something you cannot comprehend in your head. In other words, you have to either see,hear,taste,smell or touch in order to be able to manipulate the planes on an object. To show his theory, Sikorki made each one of them to try to manipulate the planes to move asmall ball in four different situations. In the first, the interdimensionals could see the balls and managed to manipulate them with no problem. On the second, the interdimensionals were turned with the back at the ball, and none of their manipulation worked. The third time, Sikorki made the interdimensionals try to manipulate the planes through a screen. As in the last case, the ball did not move. In the last case, the interdimensionals were turned with their back, but they could hear the ball rolling. In this case, some of the interdimensionals could manage to manipulate the ball, but it was extremely difficult. Jevyan, tried to use his magic sense, but as the ball had no magic essence, it was impossible for him to do anything. Then, Sikorki tried to explain them that the planes are so abstract that, in order to manipulate them, you would have to imagine how the manipulation would look like. He gave the example that in order to hit someone, one of the interdimensionals imagines that his swords become very long.
 
This is where we got the idea that, in order to manipulate the planes and send the message, one of us had to look at the Black Hole. Eve continued back then to tell us more of Lullaby’s memories, but I will keep them for later. I want to finish this writing before Eve becomes conscious again.
 
So, after Eve told us everything and struggled to do all of this process, Nixie’s only reaction was: “I thought it would be something more direct”. Hearing this, Eve got upset, took Lullaby and left because she felt that not even now, Lullaby was not considered useful. Nixie took me and we went to apologize. But that didn’t go well either. “I believe that the demon is attracting you to stay more with Lullaby, so it can consume you” Nixie very bluntly told Eve. Of course, Eve didn’t take it well and got even more upset to the point where she didn’t get out of her room for a long time. Of course, none of us really thought that Luallaby was just a plant which is not able to do anything and we were grateful for everything that Eve did for us. But, we had to show that to her as well, and words, as you’ve seen, are not our strongest attributes. So, we decided to build her a small nursery for Lullaby and Rafil, which of course would take a couple of days. And to make Eve relax, Nixie also wanted to prepare a special bath for all the girls.
 
Now, that brings us back to where the story left. Later that day, after the discussion about the Abi-Dii and black hole, we wanted to take Eve to see the new nursery. It was a bright room with large walls where Nixie painted a few paintings. Inside, you could find dolls made by Miyun and me, a small baby bed which the others and Tallion built with a special planet toy made by Bart and a lot of other things that everyone in the party left in the room. Eve loved the room very much and did not even know how to react to it. I was feeling better to see her at least a bit more relieved in all this mess. And now, it was time for the bath.
 
When we got to the bathhouse, a strong smell of perfume kicked in which I immediately recognized as one of Nixie’s bath perfumes. My nose instantly became itchy from all the smells in the room but for Eve’s sake I decided to endure it. Do not get me wrong, dear diary, I love taking short baths, but staying in water is not exactly my favorite activity. Xixi and Nixie began running around and playing with the soap bubbles, while the rest of us were trying to relax. I went to talk with Eve, see how she was doing. To be fair, I wanted to apologize, because we have let the situation come to this. We could have gathered more information, maybe then we would have managed to do something else. Anything. I wanted to try a hopeless last attempt to convince her not to insist on her plan. To no avail. Eve seemed set on doing whatever it was necessary in this world to send the message. That girl can be really stubborn sometimes, especially when she sets her mind on something. I really didn’t want her to do that, but somehow, after this discussion, it seems to me that she needed that. She needed to show herself that she can do this, to prove herself that all we do will finally get to something good. As maybe, she needed to prove herself that this world is not one in which all the good we do will eventually lead to something bad. Finally, I understood why she wanted to do this, but at the same time I also understood it meant I must let Eve be Eve, no matter how much that hurt us. Above everything, I got very sad but compared to earlier, the time didn’t seem like pressuring.
 
It was towards the end of our conversation when I noticed that Miyun didn’t even get in the water. When I asked her why, she simply said she is shy. I did assume that she didn’t get into the water because her hunting instincts, but I did not want to insist on that in front of the others. So, after a bit of asking, Miyun finally got into the water, and I went to talk with her alone. But it seems that I was rather annoying her, which seems to be the case most of the times I try to talk with her. After Miyun began complaining that I interrogated her and Nixie strongly agreeing with that, I gave up. It was not something I could have solved during a bath anyways. But Miyun continued on the subject, asking Nixie about her experience with boys. Now, that was not where I wanted to go with this conversation. And as I would have wanted to point out to Nixie that this is what she gets for siding with Miyun, I knew that this subject was a very sensitive one for her. Maybe a bit too sensitive.
 
You see, dear diary, Nixie wasn’t always alone. Long ago, before I met her, she even had a fiancée. It was her brother’s best friend, which she knew since childhood. She told me many stories about their love, and how happy she used to be. But, he met a tragic end, in the war and ever since, Nixie blamed herself for it. Nixie and him were at that time hiding their relationship from everyone, even from her own brother just because they thought it was fun. But, one time, when Elysar left to fight in the war, Nixie’s brother found one of their love letters and got extremely upset. None of them intended to hurt Nixie’s brother in such way and Elysar was decided to solve the problem. After a huge fight, Elysar, decided to leave far away so it gave Nixie’s brother some time to understand everything. That’s how he got to the eastern gate of Focoso, where he met his end. Nixie never really forgave herself or her brother for what happened. We don’t really talk about it because I know how sad it makes Nixie to remember Elysar and although she got used to the idea, it’s not a subject one likes to talk about.
 
She tried to avoid to tell the story, but even Tallion (who was outside the door,listening) insisted she should tell it. Tallion didn’t hear the story because Xixi scared him away and the girls seemed bothered anyways. I don’t understand. What was he going to see through the key hole anyways? So at least let him stay for the story,right? The rest are going to find out one way or another anyways. In the end, Nixie gave in and told us everything. It was a relieve to see her finally open up to the others about this, but I knew how sad she would be afterwards. It seems that most of us, the girls in our party have not had much luck in love. Well maybe Isbel and Eve could save our reputation. Eve, however, did not seem to agree with me at all. It seems that Bart’s obsession with planes have started to really annoy her. She felt that it’s almost as if they didn’t have anything to talk about, probably she felt this weird distance between them. And she was afraid to talk about it with Bart, because it might make the situation even worse. It is oftentimes that words are hard to tell, but when you have a problem with someone, you have to say them anyways. And as I see it, it was Bart we were talking about. He would have understood the situation if they talked. Alside all Nixie’s observations about how Bart doesn’t treat Eve right which I partly agree with, I believe there was a reason for it. All these months, although it was the hardest for Eve, it did not mean it wasn’t hard for Bart as well. I don’t know, dear diary, relationships are not something I know how to deal with. Each one is different, and no one can better understand that the ones that are in that relationship. So, I tried to just encourage Eve and not say anything unnecessary that could make her more upset at Bart.
 
After the bath, I was feeling rather down. I accepted the Eve’s plan but I still could not be at peace with it. I would have liked to Nixie about it, but after the Elysar conversation, I did not want to make her even more sad. As she said it, I was the one to raise her morale not bring it down. So, I went in the garden where I found Tallion meditating. There were a few things that I wanted to talk with him anyways so now it was the perfect time. You see, dear diary, I do admit that I do not really talk about my own feelings, especially when they are not happy ones, but Tallion does that even more often than me. Out of everyone, I think I understand him the least, and that says a lot. He never really told us what he thinks about a relationship, or if he ever had another one except Eve. After the conversation with Elysar, I really wanted to know, so I asked him directly. He looked at me with wide open eyes and asked me: “What?”. His shocked reaction was very amusing. It even made me laugh a bit. Maybe I am a bit too direct sometimes, I do not think he expected that question from me. In the end I gave up because he seemed a bit uncomfortable with the situation. I just was content with asking him to talk with Bart, maybe he could convince Bart to go and talk with Eve.
 
But Tallion’s surprised face was nothing compared to mine, when Nixie came and asked me: “Why can Lyaria send messages to Damaschini, and I didn’t receive anything from Elysar?”. I was in shock for a while. I kept staring at Nixie and trying to understand what in the world is she asking. “Maybe I did get a sign and I didn’t see it!” she continued. WHY IS SHE ASKING ME ALL OF THIS? Do I look like Damaschini’s best friend who knows everything about him? I did not know what to say. First of all, I believe that one way or another, if we need a sign, we will get it. I tried to explain Nixie that, but all she got to reply with is “It would be nice to receive something like that from him”. I could see how sad she was about it. .I did ask myself “Why do you need a message anyways?” but I did not think it’s time to say this out loud. It’s not like she would try to get a sign, but it seemed that she just misses Elysar. You never got used to it, the idea of someone being gone. Just when you think it's reconciled, accepted, someone points it out to you, and it just hits you all over again, that shocking. And there was nothing we could do about that. She was upset and sad about Eve conversation and Elysar subject came in a very bad timing. It was later that day, that Damaschini told her the same thing as I tried to. The sign from Lyaria was a miracle, so there was no more room to ponder about it.
 
Now, that I think about it, I do wonder if Damaschini and Nixie ever made up after their little fight a few weeks ago. You see, as we were searching for a place to build the nursery room, everyone started to wonder around the chest and try to discover as much as possible. I almost got myself killed in the library. See, dear diary, that’s why I never go there. But, by far, Nixie discovered the most interesting room of all. It was some kind of a ritual room, where, you could choose to see what you desired most in the future, or what would you have changed most about the past. A dangerous game to play. Nixie, convinced of the addiction this ritual room could cause, ordered all of us to lock the room and never enter there again. Which to be fair, made sense for me. But Damaschini did not feel the same. He wanted to use the room for his own personal training. Of course, hearing this, Dillen stood against the idea because of the preferential treatment idea of his, while Drenizek insisted that we all should listen to what Nixie ordered. Personally, I did not understand why must we be in this situation anyways. It’s just a room that we will never enter again once we were back in our dimension because, by the looks of it, had some evil sleeping powers as well. One thing I understood for sure is that back at the fight with the dragon, i know the reason why Nixie got upset at me. “Are they an order? Then what’s the punishment?” Damaschini said. Those words sounded very very familiar to me and I understood how harmful they could be in certain situations. Cross my heart and hope to die, I will never ever undermine her authority like this again. Taking that room from Damachini would be like taking my swords, so I saw his point but Nixie was also right. I did not know how to solve the problem. In the end, Nixie managed to handle the situation properly and we all moved on with my life. Although, I am pretty sure that she was bothered by what Damaschini said.
 
After a bit of a talk with Nixie and Tallion , we decided that it was time to do something about Miyun. So, we did what magic-men do best: searched for a book about it in the library. I was afraid to step in there again, but I guess no book is going to eat me alive, especially since they do not have magic. I hoped. Anyways, thanks to Nixie’s bright idea to read, we found the information about circek.
 
We found an old book about magical creatures that had some notes about circeks. It seems that circeks have been on this world for as long as anyone can remember. The book itself didn’t offer so many details, but the notes written by the vedians, gave a lot more of the information. They were talking there about a demon. This demon had the name of Azergazeb (or as Nizie called it “Zanzibar”). In the vedian drawings, it was some kind of creature, with 6 legs headed up an another 2 heading down (just like a spider), with purple eyes in the middle and with a human body that was neither one of a girl or a boy. This Azergazeb demon had also the nickname of “unsaturated lust”. It was described as a demon who would influence others to the point where it would wake the most animalic instincts of a person. It would make them leave everything behind: family, friends, houses, everything. Below these notes, we found a legend, about a vedian prince who was loyal to this demon and used his power to prolong his life by taking advantage and killing girls. And even more below, it was this story about how the vedians managed to catch a circek and use some kind of rune that to stop her powers for a little while. While researching her, they found out that by any means, she was a human. Except, her magic essence, who seemed to be enhanced.
 
We put all the information together and talked and talked about it, until finally had a few ideas about the circeks. First of all, we were able to understand that, Miyun’s essence is one of a human. Which, dear diary, was very big news for us. Then,we also managed to confirm our theory that Miyun’s mother did not use her circek power on Marcon. We have finally found something that could help Miyun. Of course, we had to let her know too. So, Damaschini, Tallion, Nixie and me went to the training hall where we found Miyun, trying to practice some moves. I would like to train with her some day, it seems like we could learn a lot from each other. But, now we were here with other business. We told her everything that we discovered. I was happy that we found a way to at least get closer to her understanding what she is. “It’s all the Old Guy’s people trying to show what monsters circeks are” Miyun said as a first response. And then she kept insisting again and again that we see circeks as monsters, which, as we explained thousand times before, was not true. Then she wanted us to admit that the what circeks do is evil. Fine, it is evil, and how would it help her if I said that? Why did she keep insisting on that? Yes, what circeks do is evil, but that doesn’t make her a monster. Her choices would define what Miyun really is. In the end, we ended up saying that the rituals the circeks do are evil. Damaschini and Nixie tried to explain her that, restraining herself from doing the circek ritual would not make her less of a circek, by comparing it with elves ears, because Miyun kept insisting on this idea. Damaschini, however gave her the best explanation: “If Nixie would cut her ears, not because she was embarrassed with them, but because she wanted to help someone else, then she would still be as elf as she was before”. To be fair, I think Miyun doesn’t like me so I do not want to make the situation worse. It might be best if I learned from Damaschini and Nixie for a while. Also, very convenient information about circeks that Xantiniya failed to mention to Miyun. After all, she really didn't want Miyun to know she was a human. I wonder why.
 
As we had these discussions, the days passed, and we were getting closer and closer to the Black Hole. We got in Abi-Dii where we travelled for a day or so to meet with the ship pirate. Abi-dii was a very interesting place to see, especially for its technology and I would have been otherwise interested in it, if I wasn’t so distracted that we only had eight days left until we got to the Black Hole. I was being very saddened about the situation. Even now, I couldn’t find anything that could have helped Eve. I had discussions with Nixie and Tallion about it. Both of them seemed to do no better than me. We were afraid and revolted. Just how long it will be until another one of us dies? How long until there are none of them? And then, is the world still worth saving? We were talking as if, Eve would have already died, and as if, there was no hope left. And I was so tired about everything. All I wanted to do, was stay alone and rest. I knew however that the others felt the same, so I didn’t want to leave them be alone. For it is in the worst times that we must be reminded that we are not alone. So, I have decided to give them the little bags with lavender that I have prepared. It was not much and maybe now it wouldn’t help, but if it helped me, it might have helped others as well.
 
The rest of the eight days I spent praying for Eve, Lullaby and the others. It was the one time during the day, that I felt somehow would make me not feel that tired. However, It did not help with my mood. I was still angry that we were in this situation, still felt hopeless for not helping my friend, still…sad. One day, not long before the Black hole, I got to talk with Nixie. She came to me, once again, to discuss about Eve. You see, dear diary, I have a special coping mechanism, and that is discussing with other people. Somehow, by talking with them, it sometimes helps convince myself. Nixie, at that time, asked me again: “How could we help Eve?”. I didn’t want to give her the direct answer that she’d expect: “Nothing”. Instead, I tried to raise her morale. “Maybe we can help her by hoping. Maybe that’s the way we help. We cannot stop her from doing what she wants. But she is not dead yet, so maybe we were wrong Nixie, maybe there is a chance for her to live”. In the beginning, it was just another way to convince Nixie, and I did not necessarily believe them. I remembered of my small little selfish wish, how I wanted to believe in it! It was my selfish little wish that made me want to hope. Maybe it was selfish, but I wanted to hope that Eve was going to be alright. The more I told those words in my head, the more I was having the conversation with Nixie, the more I started to believe them. The answer I was so looking for, that I struggled so hard to find alone, was right there in front of us, hidden by the shadow of our fear of being alone. We could help by hoping. It was just then that I realized that it would be our hope that would make Eve stronger. And who said that she had to die? If there were 0,00009 chances of Eve to live, I had to believe in them. That’s what I told Drenizek, right? Suddenly, I didn’t feel so tired anymore. I wanted to fight, in my little way, I wanted to fight.
 
Nixie however, didn’t feel the same. For her, it must have been even harder. But she would have to endure it. For Eve’s sake. Still, in all these chaos and mess, she still found the time to think about my birthday party. I thought it was very nice of her. You see, dear diary, my birthday is not truly my birthday. As many other people, I do not know when I was born. But, when I was younger, that was the date when my family celebrated all their children. So, every year, we would have this wonderful party. After my father died, some of my brothers, who inherited his kindness, would bring everyone a present. Sometimes it was expensive snakes, sometimes small pieces of armor we could play around with. Everyone enjoyed the party, especially my oldest brother, Verif, who used to be my favorite. He was the only one that would spend a lot of time playing games with me. I was still young when he left to fight, so I do not remember him so well. During our birthdays, even mom would find time to stay with us and enjoy our games. It was very fun, and we all enjoyed it. In essence, it was nothing more than a more special play day for kids, but it felt nice to see everyone happy. We did however, celebrate our birthdays every year, until my last brother died and mom left. After that, I stopped celebrating it, until later when Nixie insisted we should celebrate it. But it felt weird. Being the only one to be celebrated felt weird, like I was alone. I didn’t like it and up to this day, I do not like the feeling so I preferred to avoid it completely. Unluckily, Nixie does not let it pass so easily. I must admit that I was a bit excited about this year, because we could all celebrate it together since many of the crew members do not have a birthday. And the small lavender bags were merely a present I wanted to prepare for them. Which is why I gave them on 12th of December.
 
But with only a few days left until the black hole, there was no time not the mood for parties, so we decided to postpone it until we are done. After my mood has improved, I went to talk with Bart. Now that I had my hope back, I wanted to help him a bit. After all, it was Eve and him that were the most affected. But, he seemed that he realized this hope thing a long time before I came to tell him. Well, it at least felt reassuring.
 
During our ride with the Xy pirate’s ship, we managed to prepare the plan. Eve just as before, was supposed to get past Lullaby’s wall, so she could influence Lullaby so that she can express in Lullaby’s mind all the ideas and memories that formed the message. Then, Lullaby would need to form this memories in her sword. The sword was a representation of all the spirits in the world so through it, we could send this message to everyone with the black hole as the link between the 9 worlds which were born from the Primordial World. Then, Eve would work as Lullaby’s eyes and watch the black hole so she can send the planes manipulation that Lullaby created in the sword.
 
The day before, Eve came to talk with me. She probably wanted to say a few last words, to make sure that if she left, she would leave everything in order. She told me that I shouldn’t hate the world if something happens to her, that she promises to come to my birthday party. I hugged her very tightly. Now, that was a promise I really hoped she will keep. "I know you will be there" i told her. I for one, felt alright, for the hope she will come back alive was stronger than any bad feeling. I do believe, dear diary, that I have never hoped for something so much in my hole life. I put all my heart in it. But, just in case, I assured Eve that, if she is gone, I will take care of everyone no matter how hard it will get.
 
At night, Eve asked to be alone to prepare. Each one went to bed early, but we knew none of us would sleep that much. I couldn’t close an eye but I was ready for whatever would come. In the morning, we all gathered on the ship, more on less prepared. Eve, took charge and ordered the Xy pirate’s crew to tie Lullaby and her with a grabbing hook of sorts, that would pull them back at the right time. Damaschini used some of his star essence to protect Lullaby, and we gave Eve Sea’s mask. Then, we had to go in another room, where we could watch the whole thing. “You promised you’d come to the party” were the last things I told Eve. And here was the countdown. One was when the pirate’s crew opened the ship window and a very powerful energy hit Eve’s room. Two, was us feeling that energy behind the door. Three, was the ship starting to shake and the lights blinking. We all tried to hold on, to make sure that we can help in case of need. Four was Eve grabbing Lullaby’s sword. We all forgot to beath at this point. I didn’t want to blink, not even for one second, in case I would miss something. Then Five, was us seeing Eve run and point Lullaby’s sword, straight in the direction of the Purple Horizon. From here on, I couldn’t concentrate on anything at all. Six, was powerful distortion we felt. Seven was the message. Memories and memories of what we did kept coming back to us, one after another. We saw the fight in Metherol, the defeat in Legondol, The primordial tree, Sea, everything. And it all ended with our dear Sapphire Sword sailing as it once did. And all we felt the same: “Fight!”.
 
Seconds later, Lullaby and Eve were pulled back by the grabbing hooks. Eight was the few minutes of suspense before we got to see the girls. Nine was Lullaby who seemed fine, for Damaschini’s star essence protected Rafil and hera little bit. I held my breath for a few seconds, it was now time for ten. “Come on Eve, you have to live!” was all I could think of. When we got to her, Eve was badly hurt. Her face was almost completely burned, and the hand with the sword was gone. But, she was alive. Ten, I sighted in relief in my mind. This whole fight however, costed Eve her sight. She is now being treated, but it will be a hard hit for her when she wakes up. But we will be there, every step of the way, as she’s always been for us, we will be her eyes and hands, just as she’s been for the world. For it was through her eyes that we managed to see a chance for this world. I will keep my promise, I will take care of what Eve loves most, every hour of every day.
 
I do wish to thank Eve for everything, but I just cannot express it in words. It’s too much. We must now find a way to help her. But for now I’ll give her that, she is indeed the bravest little fighter I’ve ever met.
 
We still didn’t know what happened, but we were all definitely relieved. I was a little worried for Nixie with who I had a conversation earlier today. She is still not feeling the best. “It’s just sad that we had to do it this way” she told me. I do think that sometimes, she must see the happy side of the world. But, the realization of the message is slowly sinking in for her as well. Can you imagine? Everyone that still fight will know they are not alone, not while we still stand. We gave them a chance today. The elves, Sea’s family, all the people in the Continent. They heard us! Ghebaro and the rest will fight now, with a braver heart than ever. I do wonder what the barman in Valva bar will think about us - the “mutations” that lived in his bar for a week, and the Dominor who believed us. New allies, whom we’ve never met, will see us and come in help. Gilders, Zarkuz, Haldric the demons, they all heard that they did not defeat us yet that even after they hurt us, we stood up and we fought. Maybe some of them will decide to join us. And those who died have finally seen that their sacrifice was not in vain. For it was also them who gave this world a chance. Of course, most of them must probably be very confused but we finally have an opening, and we have to use it.
 
So this year is over, but if there is a thing I have learned is that we love to create problems for ourselves. It doesn’t matter if it’s because we like to be explorers of the chest, or because we want to fight dragons and demons. If there is a place we should not go to, we probably will be there. Is it dangerous and it will get us killed? Most probably. Will we ever stop to do that? Of course not. Because that’s how we make noise. It is just like that time I flew on the dragon. Of course, we were fighting it and we could have fallen anytime but somehow, when we got down, I have realized that it was worth the ride. If Nixie reads this, she will say I have gone insane, but I promise you, dear diary, it is nothing of sorts. And to be fair, I am curious what will become of our story. How can I temper my curiosity when we just talked to every person in every dimension? I look around, and our crew, the pirates, everyone seemed to have understood the message. And I don’t know what other dangers will attack us, because they sure will not leave us be, but probably for the first time since the Saphire Sword,I do not feel tired at all.
 
Thank you the Almighty and all those who protect us for the chances you have given us. And for the most wonderful gift I could have received for my birthday.
 
P.S 1: In one of our talks, Nixie said that she doesn’t like Sikorki, for he was the one that made the interdimenionals who they are. But to be fair, I do not think that is a bad thing. The interdimensionals do not plan to destroy this world, they never did. And when we meet again, I really hope we will not meet as enemies, but allies.
 
P.S.2: I have used that room to see both my past and my future. In the future, I saw this wonderful ship, which I was captain of, and I saw Nixie, as a princess who I’d meet. And Dillen who was working for Nixie. It was rather a nice future. But while looking at it, I felt like I was lonley. I realized why, when I looked back and saw what would have happened if Xebec was alive. But that’s alright, dear diary, for those were only shards of imagination, mixed weirdly in my head and I have learned that the future cannot be predicted or foreseen.
 
P.S. 3.: Thank you Eve for being everything that Sea taught us to be. That's why we do not need her mask anymore, you are here.