The Journey to Zidith

Dear Diary,
We all hope that one day, somewhere in the future, we will get to see the end of this fight. We will finally be able to follow our dream and the world will live in peace and quiet. But what if it doesn’t? What if all the years we have left are filled with endless fights and hopeless days? Is it wrong to say that despite all of this misery, i do enjoy this life of ours? Yes, it is full demons and killing and suffering. But it is also full of little details that matter. Like those moments when we sometimes have our lunch together. Isbel makes a delicious meal for all of us, but always avoids putting mushrooms in my plate because I don’t like them. Or how Vas always gets upset at me for getting hurt in fights. They are not enormous deeds, but rather small acts of kindness. And then, even the worst of moments I feel like are now part of what we do and, in a way or another, led us to where we are today. It is maybe the evil that gave such great meaning to these otherwise very normal moments. Or rather, it was because of the evil, that the good behind these deeds started to grow. You may call me an optimist, but I do still believe that whenever evil seems to have yet another victory, somewhere else, a small act of good is born. And we may not see it because it seems so small, but one day, they will have counted for something. So maybe, while good is just good, evil makes both evil and good grow.
 
Given the circumstances from the last couple of days, I must say that we are handling the situation well. We are currently driving in an Evo Drive to the Black Hole, as our plan suggested. But I do not know what to say. I do feel the hope of our party is hanging by a thin thread: The success to send that message. And that worries me. Soon, we will be the closest we ever were to having a chance of helping, of fighting back. This may be our only chance of creating a true legacy. Now, more than ever, we need to be prepared. Yet, most of us are still shaken from everything that happened recently.
 
A lot has happened after Nixie’s party. That morning, before breakfast, we met with Miyun. We barely knew each other for a few days back then but now Miyun was one of us, so whether she like it or not, we are now going to try and be her friends. It seems however, that Miyun did not know as much about everything that happened back then in Legondol so she didn’t really understood how Lullaby ended up being like she is now. We couldn’t keep this information from her, so in the end we told her the whole story. She didn’t know how to react, so for the first time since she was with us, she transformed into a squirrel and left. Of course, we went to search for her, and we found her in the room with Eve and Lullaby. There were many things we told her, about our adventures. Slowly, she seemed to open up, and transformed back into her human shape. We talked a bit more, but then Damaschini came to bring her clothes. We all decided that it was the time to introduce Miyun to the others, so it was time we headed to the table where probably the rest were waiting.
 
On the hallway, I stopped and talked a bit with Damaschini. Since I didn’t know much about Miyun, and he was her father, I thought it would be a good idea to talk with him about that. Maybe he didn’t want us to get involved with Miyun as much or maybe the opposite. He never really talked with us about her, so I didn’t know what I should or should not do. Because earlier that day, I felt that Miyun should have found out about Lullaby from Damaschini. So, I did not want to overstep again. Damaschini however didn’t seem to mind us to help him. He said that he is also not good at all this parenting thing and doesn’t know what to do. Understandably so. His position must be difficult at this point. He probably wants to know a lot about what happened to Miyun as well, but he is probably afraid that he will lose her again if he does anything unpleasant. I don’t know, dear diary. This situation is sometimes too much more than I can understand.
 
Either way, we had finally arrived to the others. Miyun very nicely presented herself in front of everyone. She talked with Bart, and asked if she could train with me, and even decided to help Isbel with her cooking. It was a very good start if you asked me. That is until, Kelly asked to talk with us privately. She made a very clear point: “What are you going to do with this girl? Don’t you see she is manipulating you? We didn’t even get to talk about the Commonwealth to her, or how she got here, or if she is followed!”. Come to think of it, we still don’t know any of those. Kelly was somehow right about all of this but Damaschini was quick to react, saying that he will be taking care of this matter.

After breakfast, we were supposed to go and meet with the Dominor about the details for our plans, so se we had a small talk about that while we were eating. We had established that we will ask for help to find out about Elyana’s death so that we find a way to get to the Zidith by using the death planes and memories. We discovered that she drank so much serum before, that she probably had the memories from another thousand people. So Bart suggested that, if we could separate the memories, creating individual points, maybe there was a way to use them to travel through the death plane straight to the Zidith. Kelly and Bart discussed a lot about theories about how this Zidith could work. But we needed a lot more information for that to works, so we thought the Orshags could help.
 
Not soon after, we were welcomed in the Dominor’s hall. He said that he will help with whatever we needed and that the specialist that could help us with the information about Elyana would be there in a week. “A Week? We don’t have that much time left” I thought. Then, Nixie kept discussing with him about the Ziddith. At some point the Dominor asked if we figured a way to disable the Zidith for long enough for them to start a war. “The fastest we can attack is 6 months!” he said. Wait what…6 MONTHS?? HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO THAT? I always thought we are talking about a few hours, a day maybe. But there was no way to stop the Zidith for 6 months. Visibly, everyone was a bit worried and confused, so we decided to postpone the rest of the discussion for the next day.
 
Once we got back to the chest, Nixie asked everyone to gather for a discussion. We had many things to decide on what to do next.
1. We had to decide if we would wait for the specialist to come and help us, or if we would leave before that.
2. Then, we had to find a strategy that would help us get to the Zidith.
3. We had still to think of a way to send the message and what we are going to do after the we had done all we could in this dimension.
The whole discussion was as usual a bit disorganized until Kelly probably got annoyed at us, and took the lead. First she asked a simple question: “Until when are we planning on staying in this dimension?”. We never talked about it, but I assumed that we would be gone before the end of this year. After we made that clear, Bart tried to find important dates that could have an impact on our missions. Kelly, in the meantime, started to make some calculations about how long it would take us to get back to our dimension. It would be about 40 days, if we left that day and would not encounter any problems on the way. Since it was 15th of November, that would mean, that we would barely make it in time back home if we waited for another week. Also, based on their calculations as well, the Continent would be attacked probably before that. Hearing this, I sighted a bit. I know that I always talk about how the Continent is not really my home, but I have lived there for a long time. I wouldn’t want it to be destroyed. Everyone seemed to be eager to save the Continent. Probably because they know how much it means to Nixie. But no matter how we put it, we would have never made it there in time. Not even if we left today. As Bart put it, if we considered “Going to the Continent” as our mission for after the xy, then no matter what we chose it wouldn’t matter because we were already late. So, we have decided to change our perspective a tiny bit.
 
I remember the time in the war in the Continent. They army was not bad itself and the soldiers would be brave and strong. But, compared to an undead army of orcs, their strength seems to fade. Probably, if fighting under Ghebaro, they would stand a chance. That is, if Ghebaro ever managed to unite everyone. But even with Ghebaro there, they would still be alone, trapped in a prison with nowhere to escape from the undead. It was too late for us to go there and help and it felt that, by the time we would be back to our dimension, the Continent would be gone already. So, as saddening as it was, the only way we could give those people a chance, would have been by sending that dammed message. And the timing would have been extremely important. Everyday we waited, it was a day in which more people would die, a day closer to the end of the Continent and the other worlds. Who knows how many people were in the same situation in every dimension?
 
Thus, no more thinking about the Continent, and more thinking about our mission. There were arguments on both sides of the decision. On one side, Nixie had wanted us to stay because more information would have helped us maybe understand the death dimension better. On the other hand, there were the arguments about wasting time on something that it might have not been worth. So what was more important: information or time? To be fair, I did not know what to say. We could wait for a couple of days, that we would spend anyways if we got to the Black Hole and did not know what to do. But on the other hand, if the information would have not been as valuable, then we would have wasted too much time, because we could have thought of a strategy on the way to the Black Hole. In the end, it was decided by vote that we would leave as soon as possible.
 
Now for the next part number two: How would we get in the Zidith if we didn’t use the death planes. Of course, we fly as usual! It was Kelly again that suggested we should use the chest we have to fly over the shields in the Zidith and get inside. But it wasn’t as simple. We needed to pass through three different shields at least, without being noticed. The first one, was a shield of “Anti-matter” that would destroy anything that is “matter” basically: all the equipment, and accessories. Then, it was another shield that would detect any movement through the air. These two alone were very difficult to pass, but we also needed to remain invisible the whole time. It was Kelly and Damaschini and Bart talking scientifical terms at this point. So, the rest of us would just stay there and nod. In the end, from what I could understand, Kelly with the Orshags, were to build some kind of protective layers over Damaschini’s chest, so we would have no problem getting to the Zidith. Then, the Orshags would use a trebuchet from their dimension to send us flying to the 700m high building. Well, it would not be the first time for us to make such an entrance so why not?
 
All the preparation would take around two days, which gave us time more time to prepare and ask for anything we need. Of course, I have learned my lesson ever since I was on the Sapphire Sword: Grabbing Hooks are the hand of the Almighty in times of need. So, I asked for anything that could help us climb, grab objects, catch people if they fall from high places. You get the idea. And I was not going to refuse an armor that would help me set fire to myself. I always wanted one.
 
While we were preparing, Miyun came to Nixie and me to ask us a question. She wanted to know what did Talion and Damaschini told us about her. There were many stories we heard from the guys, so I did not know exactly where to begin. Did she want us to tell her about their adventures? Of course not. From what we could figure out, she wanted to know what bad things we know about her. But Tallion told us she doesn’t want to be called a monster, so I was a bit confused as what to say. In the end, we had a whole conversation about chircheks. For your information, they are animals that steal lifeforce from other people. Miyun got annoyed at us a few times and wanted to leave, because we hesitated to tell her all the bad things we heard. But in the end, she got what she wanted from us. We tried to find out more, but it seemed that it was not our place nor that she wanted to talk with us. Actually, she didn’t want to talk with anyone. It seemed that Miyun felt that the old party was embarrassed by her and only gave attention to the things that were in their benefit. So, instead of trying to get more information, we tried to convince her to give Damaschini and Tallion a chance to understand her. I felt like she wasn’t that convinced but seemed so annoyed by us that she finally accepted. So, I hurried to find the boys, in the hope that they would finally solve the problem.
 
I met Damaschini and Tallion on the hallways. I wanted to tell them what happened in the smallest detail so I started: “So Miyun came to us to ask us what we know about her...”. Then, Damaschini shortly replied with “I know. I already talked to her.” Well, I wanted to tell them more. I thought it would be helpful, but it didn’t seem they wanted to hear it from me because they kept making jokes. So, I decided not to give them the explanation about Miyun’s problem. We went back to Nixie and Miyun. “So, why did you bring us here” Damaschini asked. Well, I explained the situation and hoped that one of them would start talking. But we were just staying there awkwardly, just looking at each other. Very well, if it’s that weird to talk, then I’ll start. In the earlier conversation, Miyun told us about her dear friend: Haldric. She apparently misses him. “So Miyun, did you finish your letter to Haldric?” I asked inoffensively. You know, I would normally panic that Miyun is corresponding with the enemy, but in this case, I could understand. It’s not like she will be able to send the letter anytime soon. And despite this war, they are first of all friends. I would do the same with Nixie. Tallion and Damaschini seemed a bit surprised but did not react in anyway. Well, as much as Nixie and me would have insisted, it seemed the conversation did not go anywhere so I kind of gave up. Actually, I believe it made it worse because Tallion’s explanation about the chirchek was completely wrong and Damaschini was still treating her as a child. Therefore, Miyun got so upset, transformed in the squirrel and left.
 
In the following days, we couldn’t find her anywhere. Everyone was trying to find her, but it seemed impossible. By that time, we had already left the Orshag’s capital city, and were on our way to the Ziddith. Seeing that we couldn’t find Miyun in any way, I decided to go try to talk with Damaschini once more. This time, I tried to explain the whole problem: how Miyun feels like a monster, how she thinks that she needs to behave like a “golem” so that Damaschini can love her and all that we had previously talked about. It seems that he was a bit confused as well, especially because Miyun could now change her eye color, which she was not able to do it before. At this point, I was a bit impatient about the whole situation. It seemed that we were talking more with Miyun than her other friends were. Either way, the situation was getting pretty rough.
 
During those days, Miyun was stalking everyone. She was hiding in the shadows, moving through the castle. One night, Marc saw Miyun’s yellow eyes following him while sleeping, and another time, Isbel saw Miyun watching her while she was going to the toilet. As days passed by, it has become almost daily that someone would feel in danger because of Miyun. And to be fair, it seemed that most of the people on the crew had a big problem with all of this. Thus, we needed to find that girl as soon as possible. We did everything we could: Damaschini made her new weapons, we searched for her, we gave her cookies. I even screamed on all the hallways that Miyun should come and kill me already. At this point, I even thought of putting traps around but I quickly gave up the idea when I realized that 1.It would trigger Miyun’s hunting instincts even more and 2. Damaschini would kill me before I got Miyun. Ah yes, let’s keep up with searching for Miyun because we had nothing better to do than search for a squirrel hunter child in the whole chest! Great! And besides that, Nixie seemed to not care about the whole situation. She was just doing the bare minimum to find Miyun. But at this point, it was no time for stupid fights, so I just decided to comply and keep trying my best to solve the situation.
 
After a while, Damaschini finally managed to talk with Miyun and we all gathered to meet with her. But that child went a bit insane again. It seemed that my attempt to provoke her to a fight went wrong and instead, I only managed to anger her even more. It was never my intention to actually fight Miyun. We both know that I would not stand a chance in the first place. I just wanted to force her out of the hideout. I instantly apologize. But, now, she thought that I would actually think she is a bloodthirsty monster coming for us. It was not really the case. I do like Miyun. She is just child that has been through too much for her age and now she is just confused about how she feels and who she really is. But I swear to the Almighty, that girl knows how to step on everyone’s feet. “I wanted to see if you consider me a monster or not” she said in front of us. That is one of those questions that had no real good answer. If we said she is a monster, Myiun would have gone rogue and attack all of us. If we said we didn’t think she is a monster, she would have probably said that we are lying, and we are just trying to avoid who she really is. “Who knows if I wanted to really kill you or not” Myiun continued. I did assume that given the recent situation, she didn’t even know the answer to this question. Either way, it was quite obvious that if we considered her a monster, we would have attacked her already. Of course, none of us were thinking she is such a horrible person, but she was definitely not making the situation easier for us.
 
I slowly started to get impatient and started counting down in my head. This time however it ended a lot faster than in the previous fight. One was Miyun trying to flirt with Marc, and ten was also Miyun trying to flirt with Marc. I don’t care if she is even the oldest of the immortal elves and your father is Lucifer, you do not come to our house and threaten our people like that. Especially the crew. Stalk them, fine, follow them through the castle, fine. But do not dare to try and instigate fights between them. Marc is very happily spending his time with Isbel, DO NOT INTERFERE! Then, she proceeded to flirt with Tallion and Bart. Miyun should really back off until she still has the chance to. Some boys are just taken so do not touch them! But it was getting worse and worse. But by far the worst part when he started picking on Tallion. “Do you know that I was there in the fight that your father died? Maybe I even killed him!” Miyun said. Everyone held their breath. We were waiting for Tallion’s reply. I slowly looked at Nixie and she was looking back at me. “THAT FUCKING SPOILED BRAT! HOW DARE SHE SAYS SOMETHING! I DON”T CARE WHO IS YOUR FATHER! BUT SAY THAT AGAIN AND I SWEAR I’LL CHOP YOUR HEAD OFF!!” we probably both thought. Tallion didn’t say anything. He just looked very sad but did not say anything. His self-restraint amazes me sometimes. But he calmly just tried to talk with her and calm her down. I swear that sometimes Tallion intimidates me, especially in times like this when he becomes very serious. But I bet he is the only one sane from all of us.
Seeing the whole situation, I asked: “What do you want to hear from us, Miyun?” She turned those yellow bright eyes with long lashes to me, and she started talking. “I do not like when I’m being interrogated” she replied to me, after I asked her a few more questions. Some bad words can sometimes change someone’s entire mood, so I decided to stop talking for a while. It was an already difficult situation so any other fight would have only caused more trouble. Finally, after a bit of flirting with all of us, Damaschini took the lead and managed to convince Miyun to go to the training hall to talk with him. Based on what Tallion told us, it seems that Damaschini is taking his “father” role a lot more serious now. Let’s hope that he will keep it like that.
But, the conflict was far from being over in any way.
 
With Miyun and Damaschini gone, we had to find a way to deal with the whole situation. “What do you think we should do, Nixie?” asked the crew. A very valid question to which I didn’t have an answer yet. Neither did Nixie who just replied with “I don’t know how to deal with teenagers”. That wasn’t a solution in any way, but it was enough of an answer to make Dillen have a rage quit. He first blamed Nixie for being disinterested in the whole situation, despite the fact that she was responsible for the well-being of the crew. Then, he also pointed out that Miyun is not controllable in any way and could represent a problem to all of us, especially during our time at Ziddith. Nixie however seemed to become annoyed as well, so she replied to Dillen with some salty answer again. This time, Dillen got so angry that he stormed out of the room. Seeing how bad the situation was evolving, I have decided to make it stop for now. We decided to all think of a solution and meet later that day to discuss it. At this point, nobody was doing great or so it seemed. We had already been traveling for a good few days now, so soon it would have been the time to go into Ziddith and here we were fighting with each other. We really had to solve that quick.
 
Luckily, everyone was rather aware of that. I do not usually exchange opinions with Dillen but this time I wanted to talk with him. It almost felt that if I didn’t do it, nobody will and that was by itself a problem. It seems that there were more things that Dillen was upset about. First of all, it seemed that for him, everyone was more focused on the drama on the boat that our mission. We were so close to a point in our mission that would either save or kill all of us, but we were more preoccupied by who is kissing Eve. Fine, I admit, he had a point. I cannot deny that the whole problem with Nixie and Bart made no sense, but I couldn’t say the same about Miyun. To me, it seemed very important to discuss with Miyun before it would affect our party more than it already did. Plus, I really wanted to help that child. She seems very confused and scared and sad. But Dillen also made a very good point earlier: No matter how much we wanted to help, we couldn’t risk the mission and the safety of the crew for it. It seems that Dillen also felt that Nixie was not giving this situation enough concern and she was not doing anything about it. That was not necessarily true. Yes, technically she didn’t give me any orders to take care of this problem but since she has assigned me to take care of everyone in the party, this fell under my tasks. Yes, Dillen was also partly right when he said that I took the initiative to help Miyun, but it was because I knew that was something Nixie trusted I would do in the first place. It doesn’t require always an order to know you have to execute one.
 
Second of all, Dillen seemed to think that even if he said that, everyone, especially Nixie would make fun of him and not take it seriously. It turns out that after all, I was right when I felt that I am making fun of Dillen a little too much. Unfortunately, he was also right with this one. Nixie did not seem to take him seriously at all, always being sarcastic with him. Now, Marc has joined in as well and then it was me who was guilty for most of the problem. You see, dear diary, as Drenizek put it later in one of our conversations, Dillen liked being in control, and now, because he had no influence, he couldn’t control anything. When Dillen talked about this, I instantly felt bad. Now that I think about it, back to Nixie’s party, I think it was the first time Dillen left the conversation in such a defeated manner. Either way, I did have my contribution to all of this mess and I sure felt sorry for it.
 
It is a bit ironic how this whole friendship turned out. It’s almost like he is not a snake anymore. At first, I was fighting him over Drenizek’s alcohol and now I am gossiping with him about Nixie. Back then on the ship, I was very sure that I do not want Dillen as a second in command at all, but now I am sure that he would be a great second in command. Why the change of heart? I couldn’t tell you. I just feel that he wouldn’t lead the same as he used to back then. Or maybe now, I just understand him better. Most of the things he said that day about Miyun were not wrong and I felt a bit relieved that someone said something. Nonetheless, I have decided I might not be able to exactly make him that powerful again (I don’t exactly want to play politics in our party now), but the least I could do is try to make the others listen to his opinions. What is he going to do? Use me to manipulate the others? I really don’t think it’s something Dillen would do anymore. So if I can help I will, although as Drenizek said, Dillen would not expect me to. After all, we are friends.

During the conversation, Dillen also said something about “they’re all complaining, although you, who have the most right to, you never said anything”. It seems that everyone is easily becoming more worried for me? Tallion asked me if I’m doing alright, Dillen said this, and then it was also Drenizek that asked the same thing. I guess that after some time, even I can’t hide the tiredness. I did appreciate their care though. It is not that often that someone stops from their problems to listen to yours. As for what Dillen said, I do not exactly understand how it works. Each one of us have different ways to deal with suffering. And it might take others a lot more strength to go past smaller problems. Also, if you ask me, what he said was also not true. Wasn’t he the one that just lost his wife and child? Wasn’t Drenizek the one that just lost so many cousins and Nixie who just lost the Primordial Tree and the last spark of the elvish people? Compared to all of this, Xebec’s death feels like it happened ages ago. And precisely because I felt how it is, I am trying so hard to help the others. And then, who said I didn’t really grieve about it? You see, maybe I didn’t cry and screamed and be sad. Just imagine Xebec’s upset face if he ever saw me like that. But I did grieve. I felt that pain in every sword hit in Metherol, in every wound I had from the undeads in Faen, I felt that with my whole body through the fights in Vaneolin. Each hit was a painful reminder that I am alive, and Xebec is not. But I have decided to go through it because it was the only way I could have withstand the grieve and try to move on. As I said it before, I will not let Xebec and the fastodan’s deaths to be in vain. Come to think of it, I have never heard anyone from the crew grieve for their family and friends. So, dear diary, I do not have much to complain about and as I said before, I am content with this life of ours.

I have ended the conversation by promising Dillen that we will try to solve this whole situation and focus more on our mission then I went to talk with Nixie. She was obviously upset as something as well. It doesn’t happen very often that Nixie and me to see eye to eye on a problem, so I have learned that it’s the best to talk about them. “Why does it matter? We all do what we must do even if we do not like it!” replied Nixie when I asked her how she was feeling. Nixie is not an easy person to talk with. She usually hides her feelings especially when because she thinks she must act in a certain way. Which, sometimes she must, since she is a captain. But, not when it’s just Nixie and me in a room and nobody could hear except maybe Tallion. After a bit of pushing, Nixie finally told me that she is rather upset about the whole Miyun situation. In her opinion, it was Damaschini’s fault for all that happened, and he was the one that needed to solve the problem, but people wanted her to get involved in something that she shouldn’t. In this case, I did stand by Dillen’s opinion. We made a promise to protect the crew, so Miyun was somehow our responsibility too. But it was more than that, wasn’t it? Nixie still felt powerless about everything that was going on and now Miyun was somehow proving the point. Because, as I felt before, there was no good answer to Miyun’s problem. That girl is sure problematic. Responsibility for the whole crew is something no one else would probably be able to carry so that is enough for Nixie to do. I did tell her that, but I felt that was not exactly helping her. Finally, she broke down and confessed that she is afraid of us not following her if she took a wrong decision. Probably Dillen’s reaction today also didn’t help with it. As much as I wanted to banish her fears, I do not think I have that power. But I tried to calm her a tiny bit. In the end, all of us would follow her in the third gate to hell and we would find a way to get her out of there too. All captains make mistakes, but people still follow them. For me, it isn’t the way we go but how we go there. I don’t care how deep in hell I get as long as I know Nixie and the others think there is a hope on the other side. If, however, I am blindly going in there with a heart that’s not decided, then I will also probably falter. I know Nixie has a higher responsibility and it’s probably easy for me to say all of this, but she’s not alone in this. She never was. It is her responsibility but it’s not hers alone. We all play our part.
Either way, when we finished this talked, she seemed to feel a bit better. I get a lot of feelings when I talk with Nixie: Sometimes is amusement, sometimes is happiness but sometimes is also anger. This time I felt a bit annoyed. She probably didn’t mean to say it thought. She was so afraid that we would leave her alone that she almost doubted our loyalty. I mean fine, I have not listed to her before, but the crew followed her everywhere. And when I mean everywhere, I really mean EVERYWHERE. Doubting that would be denying their legacy. But there is no point talking about it. I am sure Nixie didn’t do it intentionally. She was just afraid to be left alone.
 
After she gathered some courage, Nixie finally gathered everyone. I always admired Nixie for grand speeches. She always knows what to say to inspire the others and make them believe in her. It seems that this time was no different. Even Dillen seemed convinced about it: “As long as it’s under control. I don’t mind it.”. It gave me a bit of hope as well. It seems that after this speech, everyone was feeling slightly better. Then it was Drenizek who asked, “Do you still believe in what we do?”. Of course, I did. I was sure than everyone did. But it was only after Nixie replied with a short “Yes”, that the crew sighted in relief. We talked a bit more with the crew and the whole atmosphere seemed a bit more relieved. In times like this, there is only as much as I can do. It will always be Nixie the one who will know how to best deal with the crew and make them feel assured. And that’s why I’m happy she’s the captain. As I said before, it was only one captain I would follow in this world.
Either way, our nice talk was interrupted by the Orshags who signaled us to get out of the chest. It was time to visit the Ziddith. Did we have a good plan? As always, not really. But we were all ready for whatever was in there. Or we thought so. Damaschini and Miyun joined us right when we were getting ready to leave and she apologized for whatever she said earlier. Now, I suggested Nixie that Miyun and Damaschini stay in the chest. As much as I didn’t like the idea, Dillen was right. We couldn’t risk Miyun to go rogue while we’re inside the Ziddith. The last thing we need is search for a hunting squirrel in a whole building. But Damaschini seemed to be confident enough in Miyun so Nixie decided to not leave any of us behind. Before we left, all of us said a small prayer. Even Kelly stood there and prayed with us. I do think that slowly she is starting to want to understand all this “cult” thing.
 
So Zidith-know-it-all, here we come! As always, the only thing that I expected was that I would be surprised one way or another. And I sure was not disappointed. When we got out of the chest, it was night and the sky was cloudy. We couldn’t even see a moon, if there was one in the first place. We didn’t have time to check the area. But even from kilometers away, the Ziddith could be clearly seen. It was this huge building with four pillars as “arms” on each side. And although very dark, you could see some lights from here and there. The industrial place we were was rather quiet at that time, almost so quiet that we could hear the heartbeats of everyone else. That huge imposing building was what we, as little as we were, had to destroy. And the following moments would decide if we were going to die or get to live another day to tell our story. Damaschini,Bart, Kelly and the Orshags made the preparations, and then we went back in the chest. There was nothing we could do but wait and countdown the time left until we were supposed to exit the chest. Every minute we were counting was a higher chance for us to survive.
 
After the time was done, we opened the chest, and one by one, we jumped out of the chest. I would have expected some company, but there was no one around. I have seen this before, and it’s no good sign. It is always when it’s peaceful and quiet that the worst things happen. So, the first thing I wanted to see was if the place was emptied intentionally and this was a trap, or if, indeed there were not many people around. But I didn’t seem to manage because I was distracted by this Zidith. From where we were, it looked even bigger than before. “Just how in the world are we going to destroy this thing?” I asked myself. In the center, we could loud and clear the same symbol we once saw on the temple in Bethle: the weird wasp. Only this time, it was massive. But what was even more worrisome, was the impulses of energy that the arms were sending to the center. We could feel each one of them. It was maybe the most imposing structure I have seen. I may not understand much about this technology, but no matter how you looked at it, destroying this was way beyond our powers. Or so we thought.
Everyone was somehow admiring the Zidith, when we heard noises of people coming around. Obviously, we hid as well as we could. Soon, a group of people whit white masks and red robes came, and sat near some computers that were connected to Ziddith. They were writing very fast, decoding information from the Zidith. If I didn’t know they were alive, I would have thought they are complete robots. From here, the whole situation took a twisted turn. The priests became agitated. From what Bart and the others could understand, the Ziddith was telling them to start war with ITA. Now, dear diary, I do not think I ever mentioned anything about ITA. But in short, ITA is a mad organization that is led by an A.I that has so much military power that can destroy this whole dimension. If the A.I. detects a threat, they will start producing robots to fight by second. Even the Commonwealth were frightened by ITA, everyone in this world was. But that was only the beginning. Hearing the whole talk, Nixie slowly said: “Don’t go to war with ITA” and the very next second, the priest became even more confused, because they saw the same message on their computers. “Just what the…?” I thought. Somehow Nixie was able to communicate through the Zidith.
 
But it didn’t stop there. We were listening to the priests talking in panic, when one of them said: “Nernixis Ibriyl Allaevansar…so we meet at last”. At this point, everyone was just confused. Was this Zidith an ally or enemy? What did he want from us? But do not worry dear diary, if one asks, the answers are always there. At this point, I felt Nixie grabbing my hand. She was scared of what was happening. Probably all of us were especially since the Zidith started to melt and transform in something which we then recognized as a figure. It was wearing a white mask, with a small black tear under one eye. The rest of the body didn’t seem to be human anymore and the only thing that distinguished it from a robot were the long elves ears, made from the same white material as the mask. “Shit…is that…an immortal elf?” I think was what everyone was thinking. I looked back at Nixie. She was frozen: not talking, not moving not anything. We had to do something; we couldn’t just stay there. Seeing Nixie like that, Bart took the initiative and told us to exit the hideout. It was time for a straight fight. But the immortal elf did not even look at us. He was talking only with Nixie: “I expected that the heir of the Elf King to be to be a bit more powerful” he continued. His tone was cold, we couldn’t read any emotion on his face. He was not attacking us. He was just indifferent. He was a statue that for thousands of years stood in place, while the world moved around him. And now, it had awoken and wanted to continue from where he left of. But as any statue, he was just a representation of what that elf once used to be. A golem with a face of what once used to be the elf named Soreoth. Behind him, was this spaceship he was preparing to use. We had to do something, anything. But Nixie wasn’t moving. She was staying in place, endlessly asking this immortal elf, “why did you come here? What do you want?”. It felt that for a second, she wasn’t hearing anything around. In between his constant swearing, Bart asked her what should we do, but no response. Finally, with no warning, Marc started to shoot that elf but he didn’t move. It didn’t seem to hurt him. He kept moving to this spaceship. However Marc managed to get Nixie’s attention. She shortly mumbled: “Attack him”. That’s all I wanted to hear. Xixi was faster than me though. She took Lullaby’s sword and tried to attack him but was quickly thrown away, dropping the sword.
 
Now, the immortal elf, wanted to get the sword too. We were already at loss, but if we lost that too, it would be a disaster. Having no other choice, Damaschini started to fight the elf, giving me enough time to use a grabbing hook from xy to get the sword back. What did I tell you? Grabbing Hooks are the best artifacts. In the meantime, Bart’s swearing seemed to annoy the elf immortal. Spreoth grabbed Bart by the neck and I believe it was ready to attack him. I believe Bart was either scared and this was his coping mechanisms, or was trying gain Nixie some time or wanted to see if Soreoth had emotions of any kind. Xixi also wouldn’t give up. She took the sword from my hands, and attacked the elf again. This time, with an incredible power, she managed to slash the elf’s throat and his head fell on the ground.
 
We all got very excited for a second. And as we were preparing to leave, we were all praising Xixi for her success. That is, until Bart and Tallion stated a very good fact: “Maybe he didn’t die yet”. We all stopped in place and turned our heads. OH NO! OF COURSE HE DIDN’T DIE! HE’S IMMORTAL! We could see some green liquid helping the elf get back in one piece. No matter what we would have attacked with, it was useless. Nixie tried to at least fight his threats about the beginning of the end of the world, but to no avail. All we could do, is watch that elf, going into the spaceship and leave. It was frustrating.
Suddenly, as he was departing in his spaceship, the whole Ziddith began to collapse. The Orshag Stoa made some space for us, and we managed to get out. I had to grab Xixi from there, because she was so upset that she kept hitting things. “BUT I CUT HIS HEAD” XiXi said in an angry voice. I know Xixi, I felt the same. I would have fought that elf until we found a solution to stop him, if I had the power to. But I was only a human, with not much to fight with.
 
We managed to get to the EVO Drive in time, before the news with ITA would spread. We were all sitting in one room in silence, each being caught by their own thoughts. I was frustrated. Once again, we couldn’t do anything to change what was about to happen. Once again, we went right we were supposed to and did exactly what Xantinya wanted us to do. That elf waited for us there just because he wanted to mock Nixie. To show her how weak good is and to make us feel responsible for all this mess. It was like on the chessboard when a pawn meets face to face with a horse, but the horse decides to jump over the pawn because it needs to capture a more important piece. WELL GUESS WHAT YOU IMMORTAL SON OF A BITCH! I DON’T CARE ABOUT YOU AND YOUR MOCKERY! GO BACK TO HELL WHERE YOU BELONG. I have inherited the fastodan’s persistence and I will not let you destroy us! ETERNAL WAR MEANS ETERNAL WAR. I have promised you that a long time ago. And I do keep my promises. YOU MAY BE IMMORTAL, BUT YOU ARE NOT INVINCIBLE! SO SPARE ME YOUR WHOLE DRAMATIC SPEECH ABOUT THE END OF THE WORLD! WE ALL HEARD IT BEFORE! IT WAS JUST A COPYCAT FROM XANINTYA’S ANYWAY.
 
Of course, I didn’t say that out loud, but I was definitely thinking it while going near Nixie and trying to make her stand up. She was probably in shock from what happened. By her face, endless thoughts about her feeling useless, about how powerful the immortal elves could be, about how sad everything is, were flooding through her head. But it was neither the time nor the place for that. The crew depended on her in those moments to not lose the last straw of hope they had. I made Nixie stand from the chair, and tried to talk with her. Eve, Drenizek, Bart, Damaschini, Tallion and everyone else joined in. It felt like we were talking for Nixie, but I feel that in reality, we were all talking for ourselves as well. It did seem to work. Nixie was becoming a bit more talkative and even started making jokes. You know, dear diary, I have made a vow to Nixie, and I’ll keep it. I do not care what shitty situation she’s stuck on; I’ll find a way to get her out of there. THOSE FUCKING STUPID ELVES WILL NOT GET TO NIXIE WHILE THE CREW, THE PARTY AND ME ARE STILL ALIVE. Let’s see how many rocks you can throw at us before we give up! I’m happily accepting that challenge! And when she’s ready, Nixie will take her role as a heir of the Elf King and will kick those bastards ass. And we will be there to enjoy every moment of it.
 
In the meantime, however, we had to talk about what we will do next. Eve said that she might be able to find something in her dreams that could help so she wanted to investigate more about Lullaby’s connection with the sword. It was in vain to try and convince her that she should take a break from staying near Lullaby. No matter how much Nixie and me worried, she seemed to have taken this as her personal task. Now, I was a bit conflicted. On one side, this whole demon thing is hurting Eve too much. We couldn’t let her endlessly suffer like this. Eve even admitted that it was too much, and talked with us about it a little. Maybe that helped. But at the same time, Eve seems very eager to have this role and seems to really want to take care of Lullaby. It also feels like she wants to prove herself she can do this. With no chance of stopping her, Nixie and me decided to let Eve continue until we get to the Black hole and send the message. And after, she will let us take care of Lullaby. Nixie insisted she wants to do that as well, but I am not planning to let her. A captain should lead, and it’s the crewmates that make the ship move. So Nixie, let us do our jobs and you focus on yours!
 
I keep hearing people saying very often that: “Do not expect to achieve something good without a sacrifice”. Damaschini said it first time, and now Eve too. I don’t want to think just how much we are going to need to sacrifice for this mission. It worries me. Actually no, It makes me scared. I don’t know what to expect from now on, but I sure think it will anything but easy.
Later that day, Nixie insisted that we should talk with Miyun again. We never got to have a proper discussion with her. This time she didn’t seem she wants to kill us. That was a good start. It seems that Nixie took her responsibility very seriously and was ready to do whatever it took to help Miyun. We talked with her about the old party again. She told us she misses everyone. Then we got to the chirchek part again. I may never mentioned this before, but I do not think that all chircheks are monsters. I don’t know what Xantinya taught Miyun, but she was definitely wrong. It seems that all along, Miyun thought she doesn’t have a soul and it all started from Zarkuz. Honestly, I do not understand why the old party kept him. It seems he was working for Xantinya for a long time now. Anyways, there seem to be a lot of things we don’t understand about. But a kid believes what the others will tell them. So all this time, Miyun thought she was just some mercyless monster made for killing and who is not able to feel anything. Both Nixie and me were convinced she has a soul. It also seems she does not remember what happened back to the dragon fight. Xantinya must have somehow activated some kind of instinct in her that made her forgot anything but hunting. So that’s how she used her all this time. We must find a way for Miyun to be able to combine her human side with her chirchek side. She needs to hunt to live, but maybe there is a way for that to not affect other people. I feel like it will take a long time before we can really make Miyun well again, but we have to try. But, I fear we do not have time. She already feels the need to hunt, soon she will not be able to control herself. And I fear we are probably the main dish. I will talk all of this with Damaschini, he might know more about what to do. I hope.
 
Later that night, I went to talk with Drenizek. We didn’t really get to talk about the Elyana and I really wanted to see how he feels about it. Now, to be fair, this whole thing was just a good excuse to go and talk with him. There have been many nights when I would guard the others with Drenizek while we were in Vaneolin, and back then, having company felt rather nice. Then, Tallion joined in and the conversations became even more fun. Now I feel very close to these two. When I stay with them, it’s like I take a break from all that chaos, and we get a few moments of peace. Funnily enough, Tallion also joined this time. You see, Tallion and me have this little game of ours. When one of us goes to talk with someone, the other one is somewhere nearby to intervene. It doesn’t bother me. It’s like someone having your back.
 
Either way, we spent a few good hours together that night. One thing led to another, and in the end, we all ended up talking about all these things that we have felt lately. When Tallion first came in, Drenizek was telling me about how he feels he used to be voice of motivation on the party, and now, he can’t even do that. “Yeah, I can have good speeches, but yours are better.” As he put it. You know, maybe that he doesn’t have the voice he used to, but he is still the main pillar of support for us. “Like I didn’t learn the speech thing from you.” I thought from myself. Either way, Tallion immediately supported me with his arguments. I didn’t want to put too much pressure on Drenizek, because it seemed to me he was trying his hardest to be what he was. But we don’t need that. We need Drenizek to be Drenizek, whatever that Drenizek wants to be. But the conversation slowly got to other things. You see, Drenizek always wanted to help us. No matter what, he wants to protect us. Which I always appreciated him for, but you know, as his friends, we want to see him happy. And the way I see it, is that, in order to be happy, you need to have this small selfish wish of yours. Because in times of need, that small wish can motivate yourself, when nothing else will. But Drenizek doesn’t see it that way. For him, these small selfish wishes can do quite the opposite, and make you falter in a fight.
 
Drenizek seems that changed the most out of us. He once told us that if there is the slightest hope for something to be saved, we should try to save it. But now, he didn’t feel the same. The way he put it it’s that, back in Vaneolin, his first thought when he learned about Alomir, was to go there and save whatever could have been saved. But now, he didn’t feel he would do the same. Because hope is dangerous. But you know what, I believe that if there is even a slightest chance of finding his cousins alive, I think he should take it. It shook me a bit to hear him say that. He was the one that taught us how to hope in the first place if you ask me. Or at least he taught me. It is maybe, as he said It himself, because of everything that he has been through. He has seen death two times already, and he was ready to face it. But he didn’t, every time he came back, and now he didn’t know what to do. I don’t understand how it feels. But I assume, your world gets shaken up a bit, when you’re ready to die, but you make it alive. As I said it to him however, he got a third chance. A chance to do whatever he wants with his life. You know, talking about small selfish wishes. Do not tell them, dear diary, but my little wish is to finally see them happy each one of them. I want them to get to live the day when they can be happy again. And I get what he means. It is a dangerous wish, and it does make you falter sometimes. The closer we get to the Black Hole, to that message, the more I realize, I am becoming not willing to sacrifice anyone for this mission. Anyways, I do not know if Drenizek understood anything I said. But I tried to explain him that he got the third chance for a reason, and it is not to protect us. It is for him to become someone he wants to be. At least that’s how I see it.
 
You know, in some regards, I wish I would have been a better friend for Drenizek. He lived his whole life surrounded by his family, by his little cousins. And in less than a day, he found out that all he had was gone. Not before, of course, to go through the whole “disease” thing. It was then when he realized for the first time, that he was alone. Not alone alone, but you know, even when you surround yourself with other people, it sometimes seems like a wall between you and them. Especially when you lose something dear to you. Because that something, was something that brought you peace. And when it’s gone, you don’t stop living your life like you used to, and you don’t stop feeling all the good feelings. It’s just from time to time you feel far away from it. But it is not a bad thing, it just takes time to get used to it. I don’t know how to explain, dear diary, it’s too complicated. The good news is however, that Drenizek is slowly getting used to it, as he said. You know, now that I think about it, I feel like it is quite a common feeling.
 
Tallion also seemed to feel that for a moment. He wasn’t the happiest recently either. The whole thing that Miyun have said must have shaken him terribly. You know, normally I would have told him that he had the right to be upset, which he did. But, I know that Tallion is a lot stronger than me and maybe I would not be able to do it, but Tallion could try to work towards forgiving Miyun. If we ever found out Miyun actually killed his father, it will be probably from the demons that want to create a fight. So, in both ways, I feel like Tallion would be able to work on that side, to prepare. Now, as I said, I would probably not do the same, but I don’t know dear diary, I have never been in that situation and I hope I never will.
It will take us a few days until we get to the Black Hole and we must prepare. Who knows what other surprises we will meet on the way?
 
May the Almighty protect everyone and give us the strength to do what we must.
 
P.S.1: It seems to me that Dillen and Kelly could get along very well if they talked more with each other.
P.S.2: The immortal elf said something about his dad preparing something special for us and it worries me terribly. His dad is how he calls himself “The Prince of Hell” one of the three demons in the unholy trinity. Whatever it is, I am sure it will not end well.
P.S.3: Miyun would better stay away from Marc and Isbel.