Back in Ionolia

Dear diary,
It seems that I had more time than expected so maybe I will write one more entry before we get to Haj et Laon. Plus, I was wrong. The end of this journey is not sad, not even one bit. Actually, if I would have written a story, I do not think I could find a better ending for this than the party we just had.
 
For the first time this immense burden managed to get to us. As any person in this world, we all have our own unspoken fights. Some fight their thoughts; others fight to understand the world better and some even fight their own wishes. But in the end that’s the beauty of it all. During hard times, every creature on this world becomes something else, better or worse. But what makes us humans is that we know what we once were,and, let us hope, we remember how to change back. Or as Marc put it, even now in this times of war, we can remember that we used to truly smile.
 
It’s really been some awful days. I did not feel so gloom since we were travelling through the Western Desolation. I haven’t stayed outside much on the way here, but from what the others told me, it’s awful. We stopped in Ionolia to get supplies for damaschinium but there was nothing much left of it. Last time we were here was long ago when we tried to talk with the council. Back then, there were still people walking around, doing nothing more than their usual routine, living a very peaceful life. Now, even Usa Laomis was a ghost town. Most of the buildings were destroyed and the ruins that were still standing were only sheltering fragments of the peace that once ruled these places. I am somehow glad that Eve didn’t see it because I know she would have suffered just as much as Tallion did. I wish that I could have made him feel better. But what was there to say? We have seen this destruction before, but when it’s your own home where you have so many memories of, I can only imagine it’s even more painful.
 
I got spared of this suffering. Although I don’t know if that is better or worse. After all, it’s been seven long years since I left, and even destroyed as it was, home was home. And even this time, I didn’t get to see any part of Flegen myself. I was so close to my home, but yet I still somehow managed to barely miss it. I wanted to ask Nixie that day to let me go on the dragon, but I quickly realized it was more important for us that she and Kamarad strengthen their bond. Plus, the crew and Bart probably feel the same I assume, so there was no need to bring this in discussion and ruin their moods after such a good fight. I do wonder sometimes if Tallion and Bart are ever going to see their families again. I’d like to meet them too.
 
Apart from our little stop in Ionolia, we had quite a safe travel. Anevys is usually keeping the guard outside and the rest of us spent our time training. Maybe it was from the sun that always shines in the chest, but I was beginning to get rather annoyed by this routine. Above that, I really didn’t like sleeping alone in a room. It was boring, but I had no choice since Nixie decided that she will only share her room with Kelly. So one night, I went to the crew and asked if I could sleep with them. It was all nice and cosy until I realized it was the middle of the night and Drenizek still didn’t come to sleep. Since I believe that sleep is very important for the survival on this fight, I went to look for him with Miyun. At first, I was sure we will find him in the garden being busy with their training, so I wasn’t very worried. But after we looked in there, then in the library and then everywhere over two floors, and there was no sign of Drenizek, I began to worry a bit. There was only one place he could have been. That cursed ritual room. We ran there and tried to get in, but the room was locked. I managed to peek inside, and I saw a small glimmering light inside. Since I couldn’t do anything, I sent Miyun to call Damaschini. He knew this chest better than almost anyone so I hoped he could help.
 
But to no avail. All we could do is wait until Drenizek would open that door. Minutes after, we heard a click and the door opened. Drenizek barely walking, paler than ever, and with a wound on his hand came before us. I really wanted to land a punch over his face. But, seeing him so weak, I decided it would only do worse. THAT FUCKING IDIOT. THERE IS ONE THING TO NOT TALK WITH US AND A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT THING TO HIDE THESE THING FROM US. Does he realize what would have happened if he died that night, without anyone knowing? How the others would have felt if, a few days before the big fight, they would have found one of our own dead in this chest? And even if we let that aside, since it didn’t happen, if you have to hide something from your friends, does that not mean that it is something bad? And even if it wasn’t, I still couldn’t get the reason why he didn’t talk with us first.Nixie let Damaschini train there, with a bit of opposition indeed, but in the end she let him. I felt a bit hurt especially because I really thought that Tallion and him, out of all people, would trust me to tell these things. But the deed was done, and it was more important to see if Drenizek was alright.
 
From what he told me, he wanted to get rid of a future that he very much desires but cannot have. He wanted once and for all, to get rid of his selfish desires that he knew were not going to come true, and finally not feel embarrassed by them. And thus, he used that cursed room, to keep looking at that artifact until he could no longer see anything. To use the artifact, he used his own blood again and again and again which is why he looked so pale. Truth being told, I still cannot agree with Drenizek on this subject. In my mind, the desires we have, be them selfish or not, are part of us and we cannot escape them. Plus, if not for the selfish desire then how would you manage to create any kind of future that is not lonely? Do you not become friends with someone because you WANT to? So yes, dear diary, I may be selfish but it is our desires that sometimes keep as going. But, after long conversations with Drenizek, I have decided to let him be for now. If it is what makes him better, if he truly believes it is what he needs, maybe I should not be in the way. It was still not nice that he didn’t talk with me, but I guess we all have our little secrets.
 
I was curious how is Nixie was going to react to the news. After all, she really doesn’t like someone to undermine her powers. We learned that very well during another talk she had with Lullaby. It was rather early in the morning, and most of us were gathered for breakfast, when Nixie and Lullaby joined. Nixie, picked up a glass and slowly hit it with a spoon to attract our attention, just like a princess. She then had this grand speech of how she loved to be our Captain and she was very happy. It all sounded to me like she was about to give up the role and go on a holiday or something. In reality, she just wanted to let us know that, for this fight, Lullaby will be the one leading us. And Nixie said that with a bright smile on her face. And I have stayed with Nixie long enough to understand that she would not like any kind of decision of such. So behind her elf façade I was sure there was something going on. To not make the whole morning an entire fight, I decided to talk with Nixie in private. So, when I got a moment, I grabbed her and took her to a separate room.
 
“What’s wrong Nixie? Are you upset at something?” I asked.
“No, Verfy! I am completely fine! I just had an epiphany!” se replied with the same smile on her face.
 
OF COURSE SHE DID! Just like every time she’s upset! Let’s hear what was THE EPIPHANY this time! To this day I still didn’t understand it because she couldn’t phrase it in a clear way. But it did not matter as much to me. I just wanted to make sure Nixie is alright. The others probably worried, also interfered. There goes my plan to not create a fight. All things considered; the discussion was quickly solved afterwards when Bart came back. After Nixie’s announcement, he made a funny joke, but Eve got mad, and people started to scream at him, including me. So he got upset and left so as soon as he came back I did apologize to him. Back to the Captain problem, maybe these days I just gave up on understanding people, because I sure couldn’t get why Nixie was so upset. It was just like in the kitchen. Isbel used to be the main chef for us, and no one ever questioned that, but when it was time to make Xebec’s birthday cake, she let me take the lead and only helped me from the side. Maybe it is wrong to compare the hardest fight we have with a cake, but the principle is the same, right? It’s not like now, Nixie wasn’t the captain anymore, just that she has delegated someone else to do her job. And then again, I do not mean to be rude or anything, but I wouldn’t have followed Lullaby as a Captain unless Nixie told me to do so. I trust Lullaby with all of this, but as promised there is only one person I would follow as my Captain. Either way, I had no problem with this.
 
Still, I do wonder sometimes why is it important who our captain is when the possible end of the world is only days away. For better or worse, by now we all know what each one of us has to do with no orders or anything. And if we really work as one, we will take the same decision together anyways. The responsibility no longer lies on the Captain, but on all our shoulders. After all, if one of us messes up, the whole world is doomed anyways. Then, I thought the Captain would be there to raise our morale. But let’s be honest here, Marc managed to do that better than any of us. Later while we were making plans, I figured it out. Lullaby, now in her position, got the courage to speak up more which she didn’t do before. Maybe it was because she didn’t want to upset Nixie. Still, at this point, everyone gets involved in the plans, despite Nixie’s ideas. And Nixie still upset probably realized that, as a Captain, she needs to be more involved. So in a weird way, both of them are using this role to motivate themselves for this fight. But, who am I to say anything? As long as the others are in good hands and we do all we can, I will be happy.
 
With this problem solved, we finally could focus on making a plan, or so to say some guidelines. As you already know, our main objective will be to destroy the stones that power the Haj Et Laon tower.
Step 1 was to get to the tower as fast as possible. For that we needed to pass the undying elves. After a bit of debate, we have decided that our best option would be if Lullaby, using her planes power, would manage to make a corridor for us and taking the goo out of their armor. Before the fight, Vas would link Bart and Nixie together to think as one, and then after the corridor was done, Bart and Nixie would use their planes power at the same time to make us get straight to the Tower’s gate.
 
Step 2. Once inside, we would need to take care of the enemies that are there. Nixie, will try to make the undying elves feel something by trying to remind them of the difference of what they used to be and what they have become. In the meantime, Mr. Order will try to use their knives and planes manipulation to bring the elves together, so that Eve can use her sword to take the goo out of their armor. That’s where I come in. I have to use the whole entropy and my sword, to glue the goo together in a huge ball which then Damaschini will lock in a box of damaschinium. We might not be able to kill them but it will hold them for long enough, so we get to the stones.
To make sure everything works smoothly on this part, we need all the enemies from the outside to stay outside. Lullaby will create this kind of plane manipulation dome to stop the undying elves from going through the walls. But, since she will be extremely busy to keep Xantiniya from killing us all, Tallion will have to hold the dome.
 
Step 3. We destroy the stones. I don’t exactly know what the plan for this step is, but from what I know. Kelly, Iz and Damaschini will create some timed damaschinium little bombs that we could send to the stones. I am still now sure what we will do after that, but I guess we will improvise.
 
Some things never change, and as far as I’ve seen, we like guidelines more than plans. I did have a few more questions, like how we are going to get out of there, or how will we manage to get in the Tower if it didn’t have a door because if I was Xantinya, I wouldn’t build one but why worry the others. In theory, every idea we’ve come with should work but I honestly doubt that. It’s not going to be that easy. For some steps we have managed to find a back up plan, so if Nixie can’t make the elves feel anything, then Vas will make his magical light which Eve will be able to empower. And if the thing with Nixie and Bart doesn’t work we can always run to the door, and Drenizek will keep our backs. But for some, we get one choice and one choice only. No breaks. No mistakes. And that was a bit unnerving. So, to at least get rid of some pressure, I just wanted to make sure that everyone is at least mentally prepared. So, I went to Lullaby and the others to talk about one threat that we never talked about: demons.
 
“Get your shit together, what else can you do?” they asked. I didn’t want to be annoying for always bringing up subjects like these, so maybe I was wrong, and the others didn’t need this. So I backed down. I must admit, I hate it. Whenever people shut me down like this I hate it. I know that everyone keeps telling me it's not true, but in times like this i don't believe it. I am not sensitive to many things, but this is one of them. Lullaby tried to be nice and tell me that we should talk about it but I doubt others felt the same. In the end, more convinced because Bart and I got upset and angry, we began talking about this.
 
“I haven’t seen you all smile in a while.” Marc said at some point. I stood a bit to think about it. Just like that all the pressure in my heart disappeared. He was right. We were so focused on the bigger picture that we didn’t see the small simple things that make us happy. We have been through much worse and never been so serious in our lives. So, maybe it was time to remember that we are not the great heroes of this world, but just a party of people. And from what I have seen, the others began to feel better as well, for a huge food fight has become in the kitchen. Poor Tallion was begging us to stop wasting the food, but it didn’t quite work. I didn’t really feel that recently. It was fun. And I also found a small reason to smile that day. I don’t know if Marc noticed, but he made the first joke since Isbel died. I know that the dream I told them about was more amusing than anything. But I honestly do believe that each one of them would be a great as kings or queens. Except Vas, he is more of a saint.

We couldn’t party for long because we have to train very hard for the fight. But thank you,Marc for giving our story a happy ending once and for all.
 
Wish us luck dear diary! We will need it. And may the Almighty protect all of us!
 
P.S.1: I talked with Vas for the first time in a long time. He really does talk like an old man, even if he isn’t. But it was fun. I should do it more often since he seems lonely sometimes.
 
P.S.2: We had a whole talk about Miyun, who believed that boys are stupider than girls. I assumed that this was Nixie’s doing but nonetheless it was amusing. I feel a bit sad for Miyun. She really must learn to understand complicated things which not even us understand very well. And it must be hard for her.
 
P.S.3: I am thinking what to do with that letter I received. An invitation must be honored and I really have to ask him some questions, not kill him in an instant. On the other hand, I should fight him nonetheless. Plus, I don’t even want to know how the others would feel if I said that I’d want to talk with him. Especially Lullaby and Nixie. Well, I think that I will not take a decision for now. After all, I have plenty of time to think about it after the fight.
 
P.S.4: Drenziek doesn’t seem to have been punished yet for breaking the orders. He will soon tell the others what happens. I hope we won’t have another fight before we get to Haj Et Laon.And why isn’t Nixie saying anything about this? Last time I broke the rules, she was very upset. Well, at this point I don’t think any punishment would work.
P.S.5: Do you think my house back home at least half standing?