When The Walls Come Down

When The Walls Come Down

Story Circle was enjoyable, as it always is. I told a tale I had learned from a Highmountain traveler some time ago. Even Qiao got up and told a tale of her own! It always pleases me to see my friends embrace the shu'halo storytelling culture. During th...

08:53 am - 03.06.2024

Winding Roads

Story Circle was a pleasure, as it always is. I was delighted to see Sorvitsune had come to listen! It was an unexpected, but not unpleasant surprise. Aside from Sorvi, though, none of my other friends put in an appearance. There were plenty of people ...

11:11 am - 20.05.2024

The Beginning of the End

In the aftermath of the whole Kheerah debacle, I have concluded that this... polyamory is not for me. It is certainly not for me when I was never asked nor consulted on the people who were grandfathered in. There was no period of getting to know them...

12:56 am - 19.05.2024

Rainfall

For every sunny day -- a little rain must fall. I began today by hearing from Kheerah that she slept with Rory and Tazzi, apparently. I had no knowledge of this, no awareness of intention -- elsewise I would have advised them against it. Kheerah is ...

05:08 pm - 15.05.2024

Gifts of Hope & Joy

It was just really good to get out and about tonight. I know that Rory and Tazzi are likely very put-out with me for being up and around right after being shot -- again -- by my assailant, but I cannot abide being cooped up in recovery for another severa...

12:51 pm - 12.05.2024

Earth & Sky

Last night was the visit from Qiao's parents, while I do not dislike them I find some of the things they do to be rather peculiar. Such as their little "test" on the docks, what if all of us had been non-combatants? What if we were naught but bakers or fi...

10:32 pm - 08.05.2024

Amelioration

It was a good night at Story Night. I retold "Hearthfires" because my new performance is taking me a bit longer to perfect than usual. The other stories were welcome, particularly Elder Huwah's about An'she and Mu'sha, but also Erythresh's retelling of ...

02:41 pm - 06.05.2024

Soup for the Soul

My night began by stopping off in the Crossroads to attend a "Soup Night" that was being hosted by the Southfury Watch. It was not a populated event, as I have known with some, like the Story Circle but there was enjoyment in it to be had all the same. Th...

08:26 pm - 02.05.2024

Memory Crystals

Tonight was more exploration with Borador, always a welcome respite to my week. I spoke to him first on finding relics and artifacts for Tazzi, explaining the need for them and the tithe she must pay to her elemental debtors. Borador said he knew of a mag...

01:39 pm - 01.05.2024

Silly Meme Doodle of Het'heru and Rory by Access Invalid -- https://twitter.com/access_invalid -- https://www.tumblr.com/access-invalid

Sunrise to Sunset

Story Circle went as well as it ever does for me and it made for an enjoyable evening. Afterward, I was approached by Aurok and Nemwani of the Palehorn Tribe and both were congratulatory of a story well-told. Nemwani, in particular was very complimentary...

12:40 pm - 29.04.2024

It was hard to stand in Orgrimmar listening to the prosaic conversations of those around me. They were nothing I truly had an interest in, a cacophony of voices chattering on like squirrels in the trees. It was an amusing contrast to traveling with Borador, whom I could converse with for hours and never feel bored or out of place. I think the concern really answers itself, though. I am easily overwhelmed by numerous people; I am better when the conversations are small, one or two people at most. The only way I do not get swarmed by people, though, is if I get away from the capital cities. Something to keep in mind. That said, I may soon have a spar with Hakiro. And I must needs reschedule the spar with Zagosh. I think Artimir was more interested in sparring with Hakiro than I. It will all be good practice, should Baahl ever decide to finally show his face. Aside from that, I returned home to tend to Rory.

How Do I Live?

As the Shade of Death clings to me still I find myself reeling in turns. There are moments I feel almost normal, yet others when I am mired in deepest despair. I cannot decide if the Gala was a success or a failure, a victory or a defeat. Rory has been....

01:33 pm - 26.04.2024

Four Minutes

[b]Four…[/b] The world was nothing more than a haze in the distance, ephemeral half-remembered places from Het’heru’s many travels, some only bits and pieces of drawings from books, and yet others blurred imaginings from descriptions she’d read...

11:20 am - 26.04.2024

The many replies I have gotten in the letters I sent out ahead of tonight's Gala helped to bolster me in this, my hour of need. As I stride into the heart of the lion's den, I take with me the faith and encouragement of those closest to me. I may be but a single Light, but I have lit the candles of many who stand at my back, and together all of us will be able to push back the Darkness. This I believe.

Promises, Promises

My day began with breakfast in bed, served by Rory. He himself changed my bandages, re-salved my wounds, and made sure I was well-tended before Artimir even showed up on his rounds. Rory saw to my every comfort and want, letting me know that he'd informe...

09:35 pm - 23.04.2024

Visiting Hours

I missed the Story Circle this evening, which is an overwhelming disappointment. I have not missed one since I began going. I have been reprimanding myself all evening for not watching out for myself better. I moped about all evening as I imagined the sto...

11:47 am - 22.04.2024

Unroutine Patrol

As I awaited to begin my patrol with Moa'che, another Sunwalker by name of Wassamasaw Sunwolf came across me as I made my way toward Camp Narache. He seemed like a sweet-tempered, kindly soul but also reserved because of his Grimtotem heritage. I have c...

04:56 pm - 21.04.2024

Stepping Stones

Qiao invited me out to a tournament in Gilneas in the hopes that we might witness some duels of smaller opponents against larger, preparation for my duel against Baahl. There was only one fight of a smaller opponent against a larger, though, and the illid...

02:06 pm - 20.04.2024

Supply & Demand

An adventure in Pandaria is precisely what I needed after yesterday's turmoil. Even now, I question many things, most of all what is best for me and the things that do or do not make me happy. For now, for today, though I will put them aside. Today is for...

12:07 pm - 19.04.2024

Adventure Time in Pandaria with Dori the Explorer! (#sorrynotsorry Borador)

I feel too much right now to articulate my thoughts. I am tired and my heart is heavy. Perhaps I will write of it later. Or perhaps it is simply better off left buried. For now... I am just so grateful for Tazzi.

In between my duties to the Sunwalkers, I found Zagosh in the Valley of Honor. He had cuts upon his arms and he reeked of someone well into their cups so early in the day. He said he was thinking. Apparently Hakiro and Skarni had gotten into some manner of altercation and Zagosh stepped in to stop it. Hakiro's claws are fierce, I see. I tended to his wounds and I tried to get him to open up to me about things, but Zagosh lives up to his ogre bloodline and can be obstinate about somethings and being a burden to others is one of those. It is a feeling I know well and understand. I did not look to press him further, but left the door open to talk to me if he chooses. After I gave him a few compliments, looking to bolster him out of his doldrums, he brazenly said that if I wanted to "knock boots" with him I should simply ask. He was well within his cups by then and it was surely the drink talking more than anything else. Tazzi likely would laugh and tell me to call his bluff. But I do not wish to take advantage of Zagosh when he is feeling isolated and drunk. That would be a disservice to us both. We spoke some of my absent duel with Baahl and how the coward has seemed to have lost his True Horde bravado. How people seem so keen to watch me fight. Is my battle prowess such curiosity? Whatever everyone's reason is to see me fight, I fear they are all destined to be sorely disappointed. When I left Zagosh, he was swaying from the drink and his worries. I gave him some Willowbark Tea to help to off-set the after-effects he would feel later. I worry for him for it is clear many things burden his spirit, but they are not yet things he is willing to share. At least not with me. Perhaps not with anyone. Still, I am patient. I will remain his steadfast friend and he may yet come 'round in the end. We shall see.

Minted in Twilight

Time with Tazzi this evening was honestly everything I could have hoped it would be. As part of this polycule with Rory, she is an important facet of this relationship and I wanted to be friends with her, at the very least. So this time together was vit...

01:34 pm - 17.04.2024

Pawns in Play

[b]Westfall [/b] [i]Eastern Kingdoms[/i] The bristles of the broom swept evenly across the wood slats of the floor with steady swishing sounds. In the distance, the sounds of a young boy’s laughter drifted through the sheafs of early spring wheat. L...

12:12 am - 17.04.2024

Rambling Rose

The Mulgore Market was this evening, so I stopped by to lend my support. I spoke for a while with Jarclair Richards, the Forsaken Ambassador in Thunder Bluff; it was an interesting conversation, to say the least. I have had rare opportunity to get to kno...

02:25 pm - 16.04.2024

A Life All My Own

Tonight was a lovely night in Mulgore, as it often is. I introduced Artimir to Ambassador Jarclair so that he might garner what information he could from the Forsaken diplomat. I think the meeting went rather well, but I suppose it will remain to be ...

11:36 am - 15.04.2024

Threes

Artimir was attacked in Orgrimmar today. I killed the last of his three attackers, the elf having dealt with the other two. Before I burned the Forsaken to death, I managed to wring out a name: [i]The Reclaimer[/i] who has ties to the "True" Royal Apothe...

12:14 pm - 14.04.2024

Het'heru by Access Invalid https://twitter.com/access_invalid https://www.tumblr.com/access-invalid

New Worlds

Unbeknownst to anyone, I took myself out to the Azure Span on the hunt for a bounty I had picked up from the Dragonscale Expedition, culling the snow gnolls not far from Camp Nowhere. I just wanted to expend some of this restless, stress-filled energy. T...

02:13 pm - 10.04.2024

Language of Violence

What was intended to be a night of going to the Darkmoon Faire turned into something ... entirely different. Qiao and I were on the bridge in Mulgore, not far from the Darkmoon Gate when the warrior that was so disruptive after the Story Circle showed up...

02:03 pm - 09.04.2024

Everything

Tonight was everything I could have wanted in an evening. I went to the Story Circle early, just intending to bask in the serenity that is Mulgore only to be found by Rory. It was a pleasant surprise. What came as even more of a surprise was how sweet an...

03:42 pm - 08.04.2024

My day began in speaking with Forgemaster Aurok. All is in readiness to begin my training in both blacksmithing and Runeshaping. I told him some of what has been going on with me since he went to prepare things, he was, of course displeased to hear of so much on my shoulders. It came as a surprise when he offered not only his blade, but those of his tribe, pledging them to my cause if I have need. Aurok went on to give me some fairly solid advice about dealing with Elizaveta: [b]Frightening are those who cannot be broken.[/b] So much of Elizaveta's power lies within fear; fear of her magic, fear of her power, fear of what these Bindings can and cannot do -- but how much of it is real? And how much of it is her magic affecting our minds, mine and Rory's? It is something for me to think about and consider. After that, I was in the Wyvern's Tail when Frezry showed up, callously asking about the state of Rory's soul and I just -- I could not bear it anymore. I could not stand telling the whole sordid tale over yet again. Not a day goes by that I do not have THAT CONVERSATION, oftentimes before -- or if -- anyone even asks after my own well-being. I am beyond exhausted, running on the last dregs of what spirit I have left, blindly grasping at straws and hoping something sticks. But I am the farthest thing from anyone's mind, so long as I keep up my endless word vomit of explanations so that they can feel like concerned citizens. Oh, how I weary of it... I ended up leaving the Wyvern's Tail and it was Artimir that came to soothe me. I vented as much as one can be said to vent, but then it turned to the gala and planning, preparing. Even when I get away from talking about it, I still end up talking about it. I should really just consign myself to it. I am one of those dolls where you pull the string and it babbles at you endlessly. People come up, they pull the string, they get their information and they leave. I do not even remember the last good night that I had, where I had fun, where I worried for nothing, where I laughed and made merry, or spent it in welcome company. My life has become the Syndicate and nothing else. After that, I just wanted out of Orgrimmar, so I asked Rory to make a portal for me to just -- go. It became a group affair and I did not have the heart to tell them no. I am not sure my heart was in it. How can it be when I exist in an endless state of turmoil where I think about nothing, talk about nothing, exist for nothing but the Syndicate? Qiao tries, bless her heart, to occasionally get me out of my own head but even with her the talk eventually circles back around to the Syndicate. Elizaveta. The Binding. Rory. Answers. Questions. Questions. Answers. Just a dishcloth that is wrung and re-wrung until there is nothing left. Nothing left at all.

Poisoning the Well

Almost as soon as I arrived in Orgrimmar I found Rory and not long after Qiao came upon us with an invitation from Tazzi to go down to the Echo Isles. It was some manner of beach party and I did not come prepared. I spoke with Tazzi briefly on arrival, th...

11:08 am - 06.04.2024

One Hoof

My foray into the Ghostlands with Artimir proved... eye-opening on a number of fronts. What began as a thought to find the alchemist that was charging extortionist fees for his medicinals and get him to give up some to help Marcel's sister became -- some...

02:42 pm - 04.04.2024

I was awakened at some point by Rory and Sorvitsune and Qiao at my bedside. Sorvitsune and Rory almost immediately went to sleep, but I stayed up for a while to talk with Qiao since we have not had opportunity before now. Qiao is insightful and thoughtful in her conversation, prone to weighty answers much like myself. She understands me and the way I think and feel, which is a comfort. Sometimes I can feel like the elephant in the room with the way I feel about things. Combat and fighting seem to be a very large part of who she is, but I wonder if that is simply because she has known little else as both a Shado-Pan and a Death Knight. I imagine both professions are very demanding of their soldiers. Not that there is anything wrong with being a career soldier, many orcs are thus, and many tauren are career Braves or Druids or Shaman. There is nothing wrong in a dedicated profession, but it should not be the total sum of who we are. I wonder then, what Qiao does for fun or for joy, for pleasure or for frustration. Does she even feel such things, as a Death Knight? As I once said with Jeff, the State of Undeath seems to vary from person to person, like snowflakes. No Undead is like another, there is no definite roadmap to how they should be, how they are made, or how they feel and exist in the world. It was an enjoyable conversation and one that was welcome after the chaos of the day prior. I could at least go back to sleep without it all weighing on my mind -- at least for a few hours.

Good Intentions

While spending time in Orgrimmar with Lyreth and the "Roots of the Valley" -- as I have come to call the group of people that gather beneath the large tree near the Wyvern's Tail -- [b]Rory[/b] and [b]Jeff Marrowfever[/b] came to me asking for a druid. T...

12:34 pm - 03.04.2024

As I waited for the beginning of a social gathering in Thunder Bluff, Artimir somehow found his way to me. It is always a pleasure to be in his company. He understands the tragedy of Taurajo better than most and defends my people with the ferocity of a lion. Were he taller with hooves, horns, and a tail, he would likely make and admirable Brave or a worthy Seer of our people. Yet, even as I say this, there is a sorrow that exists in Artimir's heart, things he cannot move past. He has lost people he loves and cares for, as many of us have in a world constantly ravaged by war, but he also holds himself responsible. These are feelings I understand well. I gave him what advice I could, of course, but only Artimir can choose where and when these burdens will cease to be his. The only thing I can do, as with any of my friends, is to help him bear the load. Afterward, we spend a nice evening on the Bluffs among other shu'halo -- mostly the Wolfmane Tribe -- but also a smattering of others. I spoke with some of them, these Wolfmanes, but they seem a mostly taciturn people from what I have thusfar experienced. I ended up finding Zagosh, then Hakiro, and spending the evening with them again. They have proven themselves kindly and caring friends, I have enjoyed getting to spend more time with them. I envy them their caring, perpetual relationship, though. They are constantly at one another's side, present in each other's lives, but not so much as to be cloying or lacking in identity as individuals. I sometimes wonder what it would be like to have that kind of constance. Once the gathering had ended, however, the topic of Rory came to the fore as it often does these days. There is not a day that goes by that it is far, if ever truly gone from my thoughts. With the gala imminent and all I must concern myself with in dealing with it, Artimir's part in it, how can I think of anything else? Hakiro and Zagosh longed to help. The only thing I could think to tell them of is Stairs and Pole, the Syndicate bruisers that often come to beat Rory whenever he is not timely on his payments -- or if Elizaveta feels there is a lesson or request to beat into him. Like telling him to stay away from dracthyr. So, I have set those wheels into motion. I will learn where Stairs and Pole tend to spend their time, then let Hakiro and Zagosh deal with it in their own way. From what I gathered from our brief discussion, they plan some manner of disguises in the hopes that they will not be associated with either me or Rory. But we shall see. I only pray that I am not getting them into more trouble than they can handle.

The Story Circle was full as the moon tonight and I could not be more overjoyed. I did what I could to spread word of it, inviting myriad friends to come along. Lyreth came, also Hakiro and Zagosh, Artimir, even Hurskan. Jeff was also there, along with a few new faces I invited along the way. The story I told was another that was often told among the Silvermane, I have documented it in my journal for posterity. It was a wonderful night of camaraderie, though, and community. So many stayed after the tales were told and just socialized and got to know one another. It was such a joy to see. While I was a catalyst for some of it, most of it was just people wanting to come together and enjoy each other and the things we had to share. I am only sorry that Borador had not made it out this week, but perhaps his duties to the Explorer's League kept him away. I think the dwarf would have delighted in the stories told. On my way back to Thunder Bluff I met a handsome warbrave by name of Tokohtah Stormhoof. We spoke for a time over various philosophies, the way his tribe views the stars, how we both learned to share our burdens. What it truly means to be part of a tribe. It made me realize in those few quiet moments how much I have missed being part of one, that sense of community and support. I keep trying to find it, desperately search for it, try to fabricate it out of friendships where people barely know me, much less trust me... It gave me much in the way of food for thought. I eventually found my way back to Orgrimmar and there I spoke with Harun, albeit briefly. For all that he seems to enjoy flattering me, I cannot help but feel that he also keeps me at arm's length. As much as I try to involve myself in his experiments or his doings in Duskwood and Silvermoon, I often find my overtures rebuffed. He has offered to help me with my problems with Elizaveta, but he has made no real effort beyond words. Then, tonight, after I told him of the merriment of the Story Circle he told me that he doesn't go to Mulgore, because he feels he has no kinship with other tauren, that he feels like an outsider. It made me wonder why he even bothers with my company then, if he finds no kinship with other tauren. He says he does not dislike my company, but nor does he seem to want for it either. It saddens me to think that he feels more at-home, more welcome among humans, elves, and Alliance ilk moreso than he does his own people.

Story Circle: Hearthfires

"Once more, I come before you with another fable of my tribe, passed down in the oral traditions of my people to once more be shared with you so that you may take them to your own tribes, your own peoples, and the lessons continue to spread and be known."...

02:05 am - 01.04.2024

Tonight was a busy night in Orgrimmar, I saw many familiar faces, met several new ones, but really discussed nothing of note. I started the night on the porch of the Wyvern's Tail, surrounded by Vorzok, Sajama, Drizztan, Nerakka and Bryneth -- all friendly faces, but not actual friends. Hurskan and his paramour, Asumisa, are engaged in some shaman business concerning the Earthen Ring. Artimir came in some time later and seemed distressed about something, but I never had the time to inquire. I spent time with Lady Dawnwind and her entourage, but it was just idle chatter. Salen'nyl and his elf-lord joined us for a time. Jeff and his friend, Qiao, who later introduced me to Orzeg. Friendly faces most of them, but very few of them actual friends. Strange how I can feel so isolate in an entire city full of people. It actually made me miss Borador and having a meaningful conversation.

An Altogether Different War

On my way to Brightwood Hall this evening, I encountered a dwarf. At first, I thought he might attack me with the way he reached for his rifle. A part of me wondered just how many times I was going to get shot or shot at this month. I was prepared to put ...

04:02 pm - 30.03.2024

Artimir & Het'heru... plotting!

The meeting with Artimir this evening went smoothly enough, although I have seen the glimmer of a side of him that is unsettling to say the least. It reminds me much of myself during the height of my campaign against the Alliance, when killing them mattered very little. While it is something I can easily overlook given my own transgressions in this life, I confess I still find it surprising. Artimir seems like such a mild-mannered young fellow. I asked him if he would accompany me as my escort to Elizaveta's Gala that is upcoming. My thought is that since Artimir is skilled with mind-magic that he might have a way of extracting information from some of the guests or from those close to Elizaveta. Like Antin, perhaps. Or if I could ever unleash Artimir on those goons, Stair and Pole. That would likely call too much attention to Artimir, though, and as kind as he is what I have asked of him up to this point is pushing the boundaries of polite friendship. I cannot conceivably ask for more.

Hurskan told me of his courtship of an orcess that he has befriended, another shaman. I am overjoyed for him for I know he had concerns that he would not find anyone that understood his obligations to the Earthen Ring. Given that she is a shaman, though, she can likely either be with him as he conducts his rites and rituals for the Elements or she understands well the Call of the Wind as he does. I will maintain some distance for now, as I do not wish to upset Hurskan's beloved nor take him from her company with my troubles. He deserves to find some peace and joy. In his stead, I was of a mind to ask Artimir if he would travel with me to Dazar'alor to speak with Queen Talanji. The man is both charming and elegant, perhaps his silver tongue will win us through where we might not have otherwise. I also have the wriggling idea of taking Artimir with me as an escort to Elizaveta's fete, my only concerns are that it will arouse her suspicions somehow or that -- as a working entertainer in her establishments -- I will not be permitted to even bring an escort. Either way, I will have to inform Artimir of the full of my troubles, as I have so many before him. I mislike the idea of being a perpetual damsel in distress, but I cannot allow people to befriend me and look to help me without them being fully informed of just what it is they are getting involved in. So, we will see what Artimir has to say tomorrow, it may very well be that these worries are for naught and he will want nothing to do with what is going on around me. And so we spin the web again...

Tonight I met Jeff out in Southshore. It was there he confided in me that he, too, has a Binding laid upon him that is tied to Mueh'zala. It was a geas laid on him by a Farraki troll friend of his, and I use the word "friend" here very loosely. The nature of Jeff's Binding is more of a compulsion, a need to kill with some daggers he was given in order to supply Mueh'zala with souls. He says that it makes him feel alive, invigorated -- the feelings he described remind me of many a drug-user when in the throes of their addictions. I worry for him. I worry for the people he has surrounded himself with, these so-called "friends" and "crew" that he speaks of who denigrate him at turns, tell him he is worthless, a failure, who lay Bindings upon him and order him to do heinous things. These are not the acts of friends. I do not know what I can do to help him, all I know is that I must try. I thought to introduce him to Rory so that Jeff could explain the nature of his own Binding. Nothing ever happens as I plan them, though. Rory showed up battered and bruised again -- Stair and Pole, again -- though this time it was to tell him to stay away from dracthyr. They did not specify any dracthyr in particular, but given that Rory spends time with only ONE dracthyr it was not hard to guess which one they meant. I do not understand why they are suddenly concerned about Rory seeing Sorvi. Are they trying to cut him off from his friends, the people close to him? Will they tell him to stay away from tauren next? Or pandaren for Hakiro? Orcs for Zagosh? Alienate him until he feels alone and like no one will help him? An'she's Grace, I hope not. I healed Rory of his injuries but at more cost to myself than usual; I took on the last of his Draught of Death and that feeling was so awful and so profound I felt physically ill and pained for hours afterward. I spent so much of my energies in healing Rory that I had nothing left, physically, magically. Between Jeff's own emotional trauma and the return of Rory's existential crisis, I felt drained emotionally as well. Combined with this new puzzle of Sorvitsune, helping Harun figure out his transplanting efforts, and Fezarro's troubles with their cult... How much is too much? How many burdens can I conceivably take on before I break? That point may be soon. Rory spoke to me after we left Orgrimmar and went to Thunder Bluff, he was trying to prepare me... for his death. His final wishes, the disposition of his remains, who he wanted me to speak to after he was gone. I could not bear it. I could not. No one else may care whether he lives or dies, but I do. And I do not know that I am strong enough to do as he asks. It would pain me too much, I would want to HURT the people that wronged him in ways that would dishonor him, his life, the sacrifices he made for them. He is so much better than all of us. I eventually asked him if we could table this discussion until I was rested and clear-headed. Until we were BOTH clear-headed. All I know is that I am a Sunwalker, a defender of Life, and I will fight with all the fires of the Sun for all the life that Rory has left.

Het'heru with Harun as they gather seeds from the Stagnant Oasis.

Tonight was the Story Circle in Bloodhoof Village, I went and shared the tale of the Meadowlark that was often told among the Silvermane. A nice little tale that shows that kindness is a gift that is always rewarded. There were numerous other fables told with morals to the end of them. Also a clever little interactive story told by a green dracthyr. An endearing story of how Ambassador Jarclair came to be among the shu'halo as a Forsaken. Afterward, I spent some time in Hakiro's company along with Jeff. I could tell that something was bothering Hakiro so I wanted to get to the root of it. It turns out that she shared some things with Zagosh and now she feels like their relationship is uncertain because of it. I tried to reassure her as best I could, though I do not know her or Zagosh near as well as I would like. This was but the first step in trying to remedy that. In trade, I told her of my argument with Sorvitsune, how unreasonably angry they were over Rory's sweethearted gesture, and that I had said things that I regret. Like Hurskan and others before them, Hakiro's advice was to simply let Sorvi sort things out on their own and if they came back -- genuinely and truly wanting to repair our friendship, then I could cross that bridge when we came to it. After Hakiro retired, Jeff and I returned to Orgrimmar. I keep hoping to catch Nhis or Fezarro to see how that situation is going, thusfar I have seen no sign of them. In talking to Jeff, I am unsure if I said something to upset him or anger him, but he has just been prickly the last few times I have seen him. Defensive. I tried to reassure him that I meant no offense, but I thought it best to simply give him the night off. Perhaps everything I have told him is proving too much for the Forsaken. I decided to go to one of the oases in the Barrens, where I often go when I want to cool off or simply relax in familiar environs. I was surprised to find Harun there, the shaman continuing his research on the flora and their hardiness in hopes of applying their natural robustness to his experiments in Silvermoon. He seemed at so much loss on whether or not he could even make a difference, since the magic of the Sunwell stops the growth process. I made the suggestion of combining my Light magic with his Elemental magic and maybe between the two we could provoke some kind of reaction. He said it was worth trying and that he would invite me along with him the next time he headed that way. Harun also spoke of his solitude, how he has not been among many Tauren since he does not frequent Mulgore nor even his own homeland in Highmountain. I invited him to come along with me to a meeting in Thunder Bluff of other shu'halo, hosted by the Wolfmane Tribe. It is my hope that he will see there are many of our kind in the world and give him some manner of hope. Of course, on the heels of this, he confessed to me that he has felt a stirring in his heart since we've met. I am unsure of what to do with this revelation. While it is flattering and Harun is kind, I do not feel as if I can or should commit to anyone at this point in my life. Not with the threat of Death looming from both the Syndicate and my Assailant. To say nothing of the many emotional and deeply personal revelations I have made in the past weeks. I can accept now that I am beautiful and desirable and in these dawning realizations there is a certain level of freedom, liberation from chains I did not even know I was bound by. Do I want to be chained again, only this time entrusting the chains to someone else's hands? I do not think I want or need that in my life. I will simply have to tell Harun the truth and if that changes his mind, then so be it.

I came up on Artimir this evening and it was a fine night of conversation with him. It was comforting to be with someone that truly understood the tragedy that was Taurajo. While he was not there, he was part of the healing contingent that saw to the village in the aftermath. He even rose to Taurajo's defense when some vapidly ignorant vulpera tried to suggest that Taurajo got what it deserved; I have never heard Artimir utter such profanity, such vitriol at anyone. It seemed to silence the vulpera well enough, sending them scurrying back to whatever hole they crawled out of. Still, there is a melancholy that I see in Artimir concerning his exile, some part of it deeply hurtful to him. I longed to ask, but we have not long been friends and I do not wish to harm him unduly for the asking. We were later joined by Jeff and Hurskan, Artimir departing not long after to sleep. It was then that Jeff asked about Rory, how he could not get a proper read on who Rory was as a person. I felt it needful, then, to explain some things to him so I went with both him and Hurskan out to the Forgotten Oasis as before and explained all; the Syndicate, my Unknown Assailant, all of it. I am not sure if Jeff believed any of it. Hurskan, though, I have always trusted and most of this was nothing new for him. Eventually, Jeff, too departed to fetch some goods that he wanted in the Crossroads. So, the rest of the night was spent in Hurskan's company. As a girl, I used to lie out in the grasslands whenever the thunderstorms came through Mulgore. I would watch as the lightning arced from cloud to cloud, feel the thunder rumble through my very being, smell the heavy scent of rain on the air. Always in Hurskan's presence am I reminded of that. I am also reminded of how much I enjoyed those storms. And how much I still enjoy them.

I had the opportunity to speak with Hurskan before the shaman left for the Kosh'harg. Always is his presence a soothing balm to the things about my life that bother me and chafe against my spirit like an old dog worries upon a bone. I spoke to him at length about the inequalities I feel in my friendships. I feel taken for granted much of the time, as if my actions and the things I have done are of little consequence. Especially to Sorvitsune. We resolved that it is simply better for me to focus on myself for now, these new opportunities that have found their way into my care. I cannot bring joy, hope, and Light to others if I do not look after my own joy, hope, and Light. Later on in the night, I was approached by two different Forsaken concerning my contract for a bodyguard. The first a young girl named Franxy who reminded me much of Nah'harli in her peculiarity. Still, she seemed frail and not quite what I was hoping for in a bodyguard. Eventually, she went on her way and I could not help feeling relieved. The next Forsaken to seek me out was none other than Jeff. I still had my doubts about the ability of a Forsaken to protect me, but at least Jeff came equipped for the job, albeit his equipment leaves much to be desired. Still, he seemed adamant to want the opportunity, so I gave it to him, expecting nothing to come of it. Little did I know that another shot would come for me, only to be intercepted by Jeff's shield even as imperfect as it was. The shot came from the zeppelin on its way out to Borean Tundra. A nearby elven man flew up to the airship, but said he only saw a portal to Dalaran closing by the time he reached it. But there was yet something worth sharing with Rory later, should I find him: a bullet. It got lodged in Jeff's shield and there was certainly no way my Assailant was coming for it in the middle of Orgrimmar and an angry crowd of people. So we will see what Rory can do with it. Rory is soon to head an entire expedition to Westfall at this point, involvement is coming in many forms from Hakiro to Jeff, from Salen'nyl to Harun. Ere long, Rory will be walking unto Westfall at the head of a veritable army. Would that we could instead march that army upon the Syndicate, but that is neither here nor there. It is simply a problem I will continue to forge through on my own. Although, can I really say that when Hurskan is going with me to Dazar'alor in order to try and find a way to circumvent the Binding that Elizaveta has placed Rory and I under. Too many pies, not enough fingers...

Toil & Trouble

I spent the evening with Hakiro. They and Sorvitsune showed up at the Wyvern's Tail, but almost immediately Sorvitsune peeled off to go and speak to one of their own kind, another dracthyr. Hakiro and I went into the Tail to have a drink and I told them...

12:30 pm - 21.03.2024

We went to see Sorvitsune race this evening, Rory and I, as we promised them that we would. Needless to say our reception there was... lukewarm to say the least. I think Zagosh and Hakiro got warmer receptions than we did. In the end, I spent more time talking to Rory about dragons and dragon names more than I spoke with Sorvitsune themself. Rory could have easily opened a portal and we could have left, but Rory was stalling and I could see that. He kept hoping against hope that Sorvitsune would turn some new leaf and suddenly care about either of us. Zagosh seemed to pick up on this and had many questions in want of answers, so we went to Orgrimmar for a drink and I did my best to explain. How does one explain all that has happened? I focused on my own hurts, since those are really the only things I have the ability to speak of. Rory can explain his own feelings to Zagosh, if he chooses. I am unsure what Zagosh makes of it, though he seems to care greatly for all concerned, myself included. It makes me want to do more to befriend the orc. I will endeavour to make more of an effort with he and Hakiro both. In the end, I shared my happy news of my apprenticeship with Aurok with Zagosh, as a thank you for listening to me vent about the situation with Sorvitsune. At least I could share it with someone and -- for a moment -- be happy in so doing. I just wish it had been with the people I thought genuinely cared about me.

I spoke to the Forgemaster, Aurok Wrathmane, this evening. My intent was to request a suit of armor made that was both bulletproof and capable of helping me to channel the Light for my magicks. While I am to receive such, the offer that he made was one I had not expected, but it is an honor that I cannot, in good conscience, refuse. An'she has placed me on this path, I will see where it leads. Aurok's offer was not to forge my armor, no. It was to teach me to craft it along with teaching me the rune carving and rune magic that goes along with it. Perhaps this is something that is needed for my path forward, An'she has provided and so I must accept. It is a new chapter to my tale. A different one in which I have the opportunity to change and shape things, instead of just plodding blindly through them. I will rise to the challenge. Later on in the evening brought me Fezarro. I had not expected to see the vulpera again so soon, but as it turns out the cultists that pursue them seemingly found a way to him even where Rory and I had secreted them. The cultists managed to -- mark them somehow with a sigil on their palm, not unlike the sigil Fezarro had shown us in their book. There is a concern that the mark may somehow be leeching their memories from them, but as of yet that cannot be fully determined. In an effort to comfort them, I have gifted them my Holy Symbol of An'she that was given to me the day I became a fully-fledged Sunwalker. An'she comes to me whether I have it or not, so if it is of some small comfort to them, a reminder to them of who I am, then that is at least one memory the cultists cannot take from them.

With Fezarro safely hidden away, I felt it needful to inform Nhis and Carbine as to what had gone on with the newly-befriended vulpera. Hurskan was there as well, so he was equally informed as to my latest activity. The shaman made the amusing observation that I am always being found by vulpera in need. A trend I do not hope continues. Aside from that, the evening was mostly quiet. I got a history lesson on the Gurubashi from Na'harli, which was unexpected. She also gave me a troll fetish meant to prevent any further gunshot wounds. I had not realized that trolls had a fetish for such things. Granted, she did say it ~supposedly~ would work. So I suppose we shall see. Still, it was endearing that the mischievous troll would think to give me something to try and protect me.

I seem to have found another vulpera in need, a mute little thing named Fezarro. They are apparently being chased by a band of unknown cultists. For now, Rory and I have secreted them away that hopefully their enemy cannot find nor reach them. There is talk of simply eliminating them, but ever since my experiences with the Syndicate, I find myself loathe to tread the path of violence and wanton destruction. It is easy to think these are just evil people deserving of death, but do they not also have families, children? What differentiates them from the Syndicate, where I have seen that many are just good people caught in bad situations? Once, I would have waded into battle without a second thought. Now, though? Now, I find myself wondering, debating, if it is even the right path to choose. At what point do people become monsters?

"The Light is brighter when I'm with you, Hetty."

Threads of the Loom

Today was a day of lows and highs. It began with Harun. I told him some of what was going on with me and the Syndicate, and somewhere in all that he decided that he would try to make himself indebted with them as well, to what end, I am unsure. He think...

02:12 pm - 14.03.2024

Rory showed up to the Wyvern's Tail this evening, having been accidentally transformed into a tauren by a spell gone awry. I must say... he makes a handsome tauren. What I did not expect was for Rory to approach me, call me lovely, and try to kiss me before the transformation wore off. Rory has never spoken or acted that way with me in front of the others, least of all in front of Sorvi. I panicked. I did not know what to say or even do. I was scared of hurting Sorvi. I was scared of hurting Rory. I was not sure if it was meant to mean something or if it was just Rory having some fun. I was confused and... I felt guilty like I had done something wrong. Everyone was angry at Rory for what he had done, but what he had done had not been unwelcome only... unexpected. I tried to soothe them all as best I could, but the damage was already done. It was not until Rory came to me later to explain that I realized he had intended it to be something nice. That he thought I would enjoy kissing him as a tauren. It made me feel all the more badly that I had reacted so and that it had won him the ire of all because of it. Yet, even so, even with the drama of it all, Rory and I managed to have a conversation about the imbalances of support between us. He feels that he and Sorvi have not been as supportive of me as they could have been. We both of us agreed to to better, by each other and by Sorvitsune. But then came later in the night. Sorvi and Rory argued over it still, even though I said I was fine, that Rory did no wrong. Sorvi continued to go after him like he had done THEM wrong. I could not take more of them arguing, arguing over things that should not matter. I know how much they care about one another, how fond they are of one another. I finally put my hoof down and told them to stop fighting. I told Sorvi to stop being a coward and to let Rory love them. All he wants is to love Sorvi. I finally ended up unleashing a lot of feelings that I had kept from both of them, hurts I had been given that had festered. I promised Rory I would be more vocal, but I do not think that this was quite what he had in mind. Nor was it what I really had in mind. Things were said, many of which I regret, but in the end I stepped into my role as Chieftain of our beleaguered little tribe and embraced who I knew Sorvi to be. It frightened them, I think, to be reflected in the mirror of their truths. That all that vanity and self-interest was a smokescreen, a shield to protect them from deeper hurts. They left, in the end. But I know they will be back. I trust in that.

My heart is always heavy when I see the young of the Horde given over to hatred and despair that they barely understand. They were left such a wretched legacy by Garrosh, then Sylvanas, now they struggle to find their footing with no Warchief of their own generation to guide them. They are compasses with no lodestone, yearning to find their way forward with none to show them the way. Such was it with Skarni. He was so angry and filled with a hatred that even he himself does not understand. I could sense the confusion in him, the conflict. A longing to find something better for himself. Perhaps I am wrong. Perhaps I misread him. My words pushed him to leaving, but even in leaving he left me his name. He longs for hope. An'she has guided him to me. I will do as a Sunwalker must.

I spent the evening in Hurskan's care and I am none at all upset by this. For an orc, he is... surprisingly gentle. There is a calm wisdom and a warm understanding in him that I would not have expected from one of his kind. Perhaps it is the long years of his life that have tempered him so. Or perhaps it is the loss of his Clan. Whatever the source, it has made him a welcome, boon companion to me through all the tumult. My scars. My tears. My wrongs. My rights. There is no judgment from Hurskan, only an orcish practicality and occasional, gentle course correction when he feels I need it. I asked him once, as a Farseer, it is his duty to help the lost. What happens then when I am no longer lost? He said, "Then you are unlost." Not that our friendship would end, or that he would move on to the next world-weary soul in need of his aid. Just that I would cease to be lost. Through the night, Hurskan helped me through my fears, my worries, my doubts. He listened, he advised, we formulated a plan of sorts to go to Zuldazar and speak to Queen Talanji to try and ascertain what we might be able to do against the power of Mueh'zala that so Curses both Rory and I. At one point during our discussions, I found myself making the same arguments Rory had made to me in the beginning. The plea not to scorch the earth with the Syndicates, because not all of them are bad people. That my life was not worth staining Hurskan's honor. Just as Rory said he did not want to diminish my Light. How far have I had to walk in Rory's shoes before I finally understand it all. At the end of the evening, Hurskan shared with me yet more orcish wisdom. Orcs are wise, indeed.

The Calling... While it helped me in many respects, it also raised many questions that will needs be answered. Mother was so *angry* about Rory for reasons that even I have yet to fully comprehend. She said he would lead to my death. And having seen Elizaveta's face, knowing that she has some kind of tie to Mueh'zala, I can only wonder. But I will not live in fear. I am the Silvermane. Not the last, no. I AM my tribe. But even as I am the Silvermane, I am also Chieftain of the Tribe of the Wandering Mug -- or so my friends and I have taken to calling ourselves and so they have declared. I am tribeless no longer. One chapter ends and another begins. As Chieftain, it falls to me to protect my tribe, to give them as much as I can. As a Sunwalker, I must bring hope, Light, and joy to those around me. For now, Rory needs it most. I see the pain and shadow in Sorvi, but that is an iceberg we have yet to even begin exploring. I thank An'she and the Earthmother for Hurskan. He is an island of stability and orcish practicality when most I need to find solid ground to stand on. So many thoughts, too many. I should sleep before Hurskan finds me wakeful and threatens to give me more of the healer's awful drink.

Hurskan came to see me tonight. He claimed the wind told him of my injury. The wind is a nosy thing, if so, but I cannot say that I am displeased by it. The Whiteclaw's presence is a welcome, steady anchor in days that have been fraught with worry and danger and heartache. He does not look at me and see weakness and failure; he sees strength and endurance to persevere, a goodness of spirit that I sometimes cannot see. Sorvitsune has not come to see me since Un'goro. According to Rory, they have left for Valdrakken, this incident being the one that broke the dracthyr's back. They no longer feel safe here. They no longer feel safe around Rory. Or me. I have often told them that there is no dishonor in running, that there should be no judgment for it. And I do not judge, but even without judgment I can still be hurt by it. I wonder if they will even come to the Calling tomorrow. Or if even, will Rory? It will sadden me if neither of them come. I must needs plead with the shaman of Spirit Rise to even allow me to leave to Red Rocks tomorrow. They will likely tell me that I should not travel, and at any other time I would heed their words, but this is something I must do. Hurskan has said he will speak to them, if my own pleas do not sway them. I have much to prepare for. I am not sure sleep will find me without the shaman's sleeping draught. But if there is one thing I can safely say about tonight -- it's that I finally see the path ahead, at least for now.

Domino

[b]Thunder Bluff, Mulgore – Kalimdor[/b] [i]Yesterday [/i] “Bring her in here!” The tall shu’halo shaman said, waving an arm toward the center of the healing tent. As the three tauren braves carried the unconscious body of the shu’halo woman...

07:40 am - 08.03.2024

Beauty is never meant to last... Much like peace.

Het'heru's Theme Playlist on Spotify! https://open.spotify.com/playlist/25xpRN5iZUkyz2acg8Ro6Q?si=2b6601c0b3cf49e5

Het'heru making some new friends.

Hurskan. A gruff but kindly soul, you can see it in the way he has offered himself up to help me find closure with my tribe. His willingness to listen to the myriad problems plaguing my life. In his own way, he told me I was lovely to look upon, that my scars, my trials, added to that instead of diminishing it. In his own way, he propositioned me. An uncomplicated arrangement, but one that he assured would not complicate or rescind our friendship. I told him he should likely get to know me better. Sorvi. They admitted a fondness for me and for Rory. I am admittedly fond of the both of them, they are warm, comfortable, companionable people with whom I enjoy spending time with. They are both my dearest friends who have helped me to see facets of myself I might otherwise refuse to see. Rory. Our friendship is... complicated. Layered. Ever since I took up with the Syndicate, I have seen more of Rory's world, more of Rory's life than I think most have. Through the Curse laid upon me by Elizaveta, I understand now Rory's fear, Rory's sleeplessness, the constant drain on his emotions as so many worries come and go through my head. With how raw my feelings have been since the revelations uncovered by Hurskan, the various talks I have had about my belief that the Earthmother cursed me with this ruined face, the endless question of whether or not She still Sees me, as An'she is her Eye... Everything about me feels in tumult. Am I beautiful? Am I not? Am I being a hero? Or a martyr? Do I help? Or do I hinder? Am I Seen? Or do I walk in Darkness alone? Am I on the path I was meant to be on? Or am I meant for something different? Who am I without my hatred of the Alliance? Who am I beyond Taurajo? Will my people look upon me with pride? Or will it be with revulsion? I have no answers. I can only look ahead to the coming dawn and follow the rising Light.

So much has happened in so short a time. I feel... emotionally bombarded. From the revelations I made with Hurskan about my hatred of the Alliance, to so many compliments about my supposed beauty. There continues to be the Situation with the Syndicate and all of those in town like Frezry who blatantly speak of it in the open. Rory will end up getting punished as a result, though I rue what they will do to him for a second infraction. There is the impending Calling of the spirits of my tribe. There is my own work with the Syndicate in Darkshire, surrounded by Alliance, all the stress and fear that entails. To say nothing of my own Curse by Elizaveta, which I have now learned to have roots in the Sandfury loa, Mueh'zala -- just like Rory's. There is STILL the question of the contracts and where those have gone, what effect they have on us. So many considerations. So many threads at work upon the Loom of Fate. All it takes is one tangle, one snag, and we are all of us undone. Rory may die. I may suffer. The Syndicate may decide to revoke my freedom if they feel aught amiss. Rory hardly eats, hardly sleeps for all his worry, all his dread -- and I begin to understand why. He has dealt with this and more for years, keeping steady and silent so that none around him knew or chose to get involved. And more yet somewhere in there is Hurskan's earlier... proposition? Observation? I am unsure how to frame it. Or how to take it. He wishes for my thoughts on the matter, however, and I have promised him an answer. The only question is, what answer will I give him? My only saving grace is talking about things with Rory and Sorvi. I know it spoiled things at the hot springs at first, but hopefully the latter half of the trip made it worthwhile. It was good to see them both laugh. And good to see Rory break out of his despondency, if for a short while. I think him getting to "kiss" Sorvi helped with that. It was good to see them both happy for a time. It was good to -feel- happy for a time.

Dark Legacy

[i]I squander not that which was given to me - and so are my people remembered...[/i] Hurskan had said. [i]There is no justice in vengeance...[/i] Harun had followed. I look at the path behind me, at the many bodies of the Alliance I have slain. On ...

09:12 pm - 02.03.2024

For the first time in a long time, I came across a Shu'halo Seer today. His name is Tasgoll. Tasgoll Firehorn. We spoke only briefly, but his words filled me with Light and hope and An'she's love. After seeing Taurajo yesterday with Rory and Sorvi, it came as a soothing balm for all the things that are as deep daggers within my spirit. [i]Forgive yourself. I love you and I love you for the sacrifices you make.[/i] Were these An'she's words or simply the kindly words of a priest? They are timely, almost with an omniscience that makes me think that An'she truly does See me. That, somehow, He still finds me worthy. I know not whether any of it is true or whether it is a hopeful heart long-buried beneath hatred clawing its way to the surface. But I will hold onto it for as long as I can.

Tonight was... an unexpected pleasure. Everyone in the Wyvern's Tail opted not to pursue the Syndicate on Rory's behalf until Frezry can figure out the nature of the curse that's been laid upon him. Not only that, but afterward, Rory took Sorvitsune and I on a trip to Thunder Bluff, of all places. I showed them the different Rises and gave them some insights to my people -- and perhaps myself. Being so close to Camp Taurajo, I chose to show them the root of my sorrow and my rage. I do not know if it will help or hinder their opinions of me, but it was something I wanted to share with them both. It was a pity some of the others could not have joined us as well, but I do not know Hariko and Zagorosh as well as I do Sorvi and Rory -- and Ori, if that itinerant warlock would ever show his face again. I'm starting to wonder if he regrets being made a Gift to me after all... Still, it was nice to share it with Rory and Sorvi at the very least. Rory wanted us to get to know each other and I told him I would do as he asked if it helped him to feel better about things. And, truthfully, I -want- to know more about the people I spend so much time with. Learning about Sorvi's racing, for example, was a delight to see them light up about. Or to hear about Rory falling down drunk off one of the balconies in Bloodhoof Village -- before throwing him into the pond behind it. I enjoyed tonight more than I've enjoyed most nights we've had at the Tail. I certainly hope we start getting out of Orgrimmar more.

Journal #1: For the Sake of Friendship

[i]I am unsure of what to make of Rory. The vulpera, even at the best of times, seemed to have no respect for me from the moment he laid eyes on me. He feels that I should have understood that all of his insults, all of his jibes, were all part of some go...

02:48 am - 21.02.2024

Ancient Rites

An’she kissed the high plateaus of the mountain range that surrounded Mulgore, His gaze casting long shadows across the Barrens beyond. Het’heru stood at the threshold of the Great Gate in the center of the road that once led to Camp Taurajo. Almost w...

01:41 am - 19.02.2024

Arisen

An’she’s bright eye looked down from the heavens, amber light suffusing the land below and drawing warmth from the very earth. Heat waves shimmered in the air like a diaphanous, gossamer gown upon an eternally dancing maiden. Above, the sky was a pa...

01:40 am - 19.02.2024

Death Without Dying

Manacles and chains sang a disheartened symphony of slavery and defeat. What few remnants of Taurajo that did not escape were captured by the Alliance and chained in a column down the center of their ruined camp. They could not understand the harsh, gut...

01:38 am - 19.02.2024

The Great Hunt

Rolling hills of green meadow undulated against the distant horizon like a vast, green sea. An’she’s eye looked down upon Her children and the world they had made for themselves. Camp Taurajo was a hive of activity as the gatherers came together, as...

01:36 am - 19.02.2024