[Session 16]

The school is filled with secrets Brother.
 
The boxes in the basement. The metals? I had made a guess that they were all from Paegor. Many I did not know, but some of them I did. I know the Rune Pebbles that Highness used in studies. I have seen the Solchild Skin in books (our group decided to put it properly to rest). They even had Ghost Glass and Silly Stone. It worries me, how close they have gotten to home. But, nothing of home was mentioned, so I must stay hopeful that no one is watching them. With eyes wide, I know you would not let anything happen to them.
 
We also found something that belongs to you. I do not know if some of our party did not believe me or… if they simply did not care? I told them it was yours and that it was very important to you, but…. Because it is worth a lot of money in these countries, Jaxion and Gidget want to sell it. Do not worry, I will not let them. I have an idea but it will have to wait until Kaida flies.
 
Another crate contained strange floating spheres - very similar to the bright globes the Reading Rooms have back home. I thought, that with very small pieces and the right containers, we may be able to make the Sin-D (I do not think that was its name but that is what everyone has started calling the spider bus) a bit lighter so that it moves easier. But the group is reckless; they want to use far more than is needed. A dangerous amount. I tapped the lid, reminded them these do not just go up, they go everywhere. Forward, backwards, up, down, *in.* I told them, that they needed to be so, so very careful. I was hopeful that Gidget would see reason and try to talk Jaxion down, but she… did not. I warned again - the math must be perfect and they must be balanced, did they know how to do this? They said they would seek Echo’s knowledge.
 
He told them the same thing I did.
 
And then it was expected that I helped them figure out this formula.
 
I did not.
 
I would be lying, if I said I did not expect such a thing to happen. Because I am young. Because I am not from here. Because I do not know how to build a machine. Because I do not attack threats like a rabid animal. So… these things mean I am unreliable?
 
I am not heavy. My hands are small and can not hold much. I am afraid to be here. There are many things I don’t know, but many more that I do.
 
I am young. I am *not* a child.
 
Yet I feel… small. Like I am one of these crates now stuck in the back of the metal legged vehicle. Something that is stored away, not to be seen, not to be heard, unless it specifically is needed for one thing and then it is put away again. Is this truly where I belong, Brother? The things that I know I am strong in, seem to not be good enough for them suddenly. If my mind, my studies, my knowledge, is useless to them… then I really am one of these crates.
 
But… the rest of Sanctuary is kind to lift the lid off of me. Lux spoke of her lesson, and the treasured pile of soot she was gifted by the Queen. She says it was a finger of rock to help her find ‘siblings.’ Ones that change like she does - wolves that come to be because of other stimuli. And Highness Pyrecest? He and Lux share the ashen blood. She is, biologicallly, tied to one of the great founders of the arcane! I tried to tell her how exciting and amazing it is to have such ties, but I think my words may have been too few. I was… still a bit upset.
 
Kiiellien thought maybe the musical naked man was also tied to Lux through this bloodline, and wanted to… find him. Needless to say I thought staying in the spider bus was a bit safer. Silas also went with them for a bit of extra safety. I was able to watch them the whole time from the window, and it seemed like Kiiellien wanted to lure him out with a song. It was very good music, and greater still, this plan of hers worked.
 
He was still naked.
 
Through strange introductions and stranger conversations, we learned his name was Funkmoo. He lives in the Mooing Hole at the school, playing music and ‘delivering souls’ or something similar. I think that means he is a pastor of some kind? He was very strange, but kind enough to offer food, dance and music. He also helped move the boxes. The heavy boxes with metals. With one hand. I am happy that he was gentle.
 
I would like to be able to let go. It would be nice, to be able to embrace a bit of fun. With all the terrible things happening, I just do not know how to not think about all of the dangers that wait. Lux, Kiiellien, and even Jaxion danced on a floor that came literally out of nothing. (The magic Funkmoo had was miraculous! I think you would like him Brother) It looked like they were having a good time. Lux was kind enough to bring me something to eat from Funkmoo’s strange feast; some hot stew with many vegetables, red tea in a glass jar, and bread made from corn that made me thirsty. But it was good. And though I hesitated… I am grateful that Kiiellien got me to come outside. Eating with company was enjoyable. It wasn’t even that cold.
 
I hope sleep comes easy to all of us tonight. Maybe tomorrow will be easier to handle, now that all of my thoughts are on paper to you.
 
To morning clarity and quiet nights,
 
Xhoya
 
 
[[[The next section is written further down the page and at an angle. It was clearly added either later, or as an afterthought]]]
 
 
A beautiful woman visited me in my sleep. She never said anything, never moved, just watched. I do not know her, but I wanted to stay with her. Is this an angel Brother?