I'm Sorry Who Are You? X2

Jaxion grew in ways I hadn't imagined. He's starting to realize that he needs to meet people half way. He apologized to the Xhoya and Lux. He's going to up everyone's kick ass. I'm pretty happy!
 
Of course, the down time lasted five minutes. For some reason this place is acting like our new command center. We're seeing ash sites, the wreckage created by the Gazelle. We were just talking about investigating the vessel he destroyed after we learned that the long dead but somehow alive BRN general was being manipulated by the Deremetru. (Apparently Jaxion is dropping bombs of all sorts!)
 
Then all of a sudden a threat is projected for Lux. At first it is just words, but somehow it becomes a holo-projection that can interact with us. It takes on the shape of Lux's body and tries to strangle her. It calls her a fraud. (Somehow they are tapping into the very systems that can heal his robot and using them against Lux! They who? Fuck if I know? It doesn't seem like the Deremetru would be after a pop star at a time like this. Unless they know she's trying to use her influence to change the world? That seems unlikely (at least for now).
 
Plot twist, who ever we've been traveling with isn't even Lux! Apparently, there was an incident of jealousy between Lux and Adrian, a competitor that wanted to be exactly like Lux Silvers. (Are identity crises worse for changelings?) A fire started on the competition show and Adrian was burned, then locked away for criminal insanity. Only Echo realized that a burned changeling can't change. Then she slipped when we were trying to relieve her guilt. I was trying to say that she isn't guilty she's sympathetic. Those shows put way too much pressure on young people, is it any wonder some of them crack? I was trying to say you never should have been put through that. (I think it is unethical. Making young people feel like they have to sing and dance or they aren't likable at an age when you aren't sure if there is anything to like about yourself. By the gods I swear show business has pure evil in it!) Ki' pointed out that it should be sympathy not guilt. "I've been Lux for seven years," she accidentally blurted and then she ran away. This is turning into a fucking TV drama.
 
Echo looked to see if the real Lux escaped from the asylum (or prison?) Is she a Psion? Is that how she is able to give her doppelganger nightmares? I was determined to figure out how she or they (who knows if Lux is working alone?) was able to interact with the hanger. Someone snuck something else onto Serge. This time it's on his bike. Tracking devices, a self destruct mechanism that was designed to blow him up balls first (heartless sons of bitches!). More devastating than this potential threat were the secret files. Including a Ghost Protocol. (Now we're in a spy/ action flick).
 
Jaxion is a fucking super soldier. He's 180 years old, has died and been rebuilt multiple times. His body has been replaced piece by piece, only 30% originally parts remaining. Ironic that his classic bike has more original parts. Gods my sense of humor is getting dark. I guess it's how I deal. (How the fuck did Zero have access to all this shit?)
 
I'm scared for Jaxion. That he has programing in his mind he doesn't know about. I'm worried there might be a piece of Echo he doesn't know about. (though he says his creator decided to give him free will I wonder if anyone else had a say?) I'm glad that we all want to comfort each other. Though, that feels kinda small right now. I'll do my best to make this bike as good as new with Echo. I'll be here if anyone wants to talk. I think Lux/ Adrian needs some space. My mind is reeling as I think about all the emotional fall out to come. A soldier with nothing to fight for, no one to come home to. If I pity him, he'll probably want to slap me more than anything and can I blame him?
 
Lux is a woman who so desperately wanted to be loved she was willing to be someone else. She's probably better off being comforted by a young woman who I'm barely on good terms with, yet care for more than she knows. She is so smart it baffles me and terribly kind. I wish Jaxion could hear the truth she so wisely speaks to deaf ears. I probably sound harsh and foolish trying to explain why we dumb adults cling to what we know, even when it is maladaptive as hell. Just like Lux clung to this false self. Will they both unravel? Do any of us have a strong enough bond to help them as they piece things back together?
 
Is that why a god appeared? Is that why we found out Zero is far more than we imagined? Kii always seems to imply that they are there for you in times of need. It has never happened before. Though maybe, just maybe, someone guided Pops to find me that day in the car wreck. A old crusty fart taking pity on a newly orphaned baby. He sure as shit didn't have to. I know that was a blessing, I'm just not sure why I was worth one.
 
Sometimes my brain feels like a seven layer cake of ,"what the fuck just happened?" It is glued together with, "I guess I will just have to do my best while trying not to freak out, doubting my own abilities and sanity frosting." In short every second feels like I am flying by the seat of my pants. I don't say or do things right half the time. (In fact I'm constantly trying not to win the foot in mouth asshole of the day award while pleading with people to get along, while failing to do so with half the people I hope to get along with.) Quite frankly I think I would rather be trying to piece the exploded far too aptly named Star Fall than dealing with the absolute cluster fuck that is about to befall us.
 
In the middle of all this a god asked me a question. My dumb brain wondered what a god can do and wanted to see a real fire dragon or something awesome. (I am a child at heart!) That seemed useless, selfish and blasphemous, even as more fantastic wonderings flit through my brain. Why am I so selfish? Why was the first thing in my mind that I wanted to see something amazing? Maybe because I want to forget the crazy for a moment and just have my mind blown? Like a knock your socks off rock concert that doesn't even let you think (lets just say I totally get Jaxion's taste in music).
 
Wow, I am the queen of digressions. A god asked me a Mother FUCKING QUESTION! My dumb brain rambled, glitched, and then when it was fucking silent, my heart could speak. My companions are hurt. I can't untangle the identity crisis that Lux is going through. I will, in time, try to give some awkward words. Something that I hope says she is beautiful as is and should decide who and what she wants to be a fuck anyone who doesn't see that she is amazing. Not for the pop or anything else. Because she is fierce, yet kind. She stood by Xhoya better than anyone and didn't let her fear get the better of her. Jaxoin might believe that she needs training (and we all do) but she could teach him a thing or two about how a true friend acts. She's loyal to her core. I hope to be the kind of friend worthy of that one day.
 
AHHHH! Get to the point Gidget! Sarge is hurt and a god asked me a question. So I answered with my heart. I whispered, "Can y0u talk to the dead? Someone I know is hurting and he needs to talk with his family." I half regret those words. The knowledge of what happened is burying him like a ton of bricks fallen from the semi that just ran his ass over and backed up for good measure. The "truth" that now submerges him in a truth that is as solid yet fragmented as my clumsy metaphor implies. I'm afraid he may drown. Will my request just add one more weight? Will my good intentions prove disastrous? FUCK!