Oswin’s Elev-…er, Five

Right, you may be asking yourself for a comprehensive account of the grand heist and associated drama.
 
Well, you’re nae gonna get one.
 
Why? Because I spent most of it outside making sure Dave didn’t wake up.
 
Now Dave is a guard, a guard patrolling the grounds of the mansion that Torwynn lured over with a wee animal call as we snuck in through the bushes. Once he was close enough I knocked him out and dragged him into our hiding spot.
 
I don’t actually know if his name is Dave, because every time he even breathed the wrong way I’d punch his face again to keep him unconscious.
 
Dave suited him. So Dave it was.
 
Now, while Dave and I enjoyed a wee relaxing time in the bushes (not that kind of relaxing Thal, you dirty elf bastard) the rest of the gang snuck into the mansion.
 
I dunnae know what happened next but suddenly the alarm was raised and all the guards when charging in.
 
So I left Dave sleeping in the bushes and charged into the mansion (after a wee climb up a rope) and found everyone running away.
 
COWARDS. It’s a good thing I’ve got a wee soft spot for ‘em.
 
‘Course what I didn’t know was the giant spider chasing them was, in fact, Torwynn. It was a good thing Bort shouted it out because otherwise she might have had an axe between her eight eyes.
 
What I didn’t have to question was the wizard and archer firing spells and arrows at Thal and Rynaar. I left the pair of ‘em and Bort to sort out the healing while I piled in with my axe to block the doorway and create a barrier for the rest of the party to escape behind.
 
I wasn’t sure what happened next, but when I summoned my ancestors’ spirits this time they weren’t their usual blue but a deep red, like Dante and the crystal. And fuck me if I didn’t feel a rush of power and rage like nothin’ else before.
 
When it all calmed down I was covered in blood. A lot of my own and even more of the dead wizard and archer around me.
 
Think there were some other dead bastards there too but we made a hasty escape. On the way back the others told me that they’d snagged three notes, which was all the evidence we needed.
 
There’s gonna be hell to pay when Silverhand finds his guards murdered to fuck in his own office but we’ll deal with that later. Right now we’re back in the Drunken Scholar to rest up and plan our next move.
 
Mission impossible my arse.