Mission Kraggpossible

SO.
 
Been a whirlwind few days, let me tell you. Not in the spinning on the spot with my axe out separating legs from torsos kind of whirlwind, but the everything moves so bloody fast it’s a wee bit tricky for a dwarf to keep up whirlwind.
 
Luckily, I had ale to keep me company.
 
My stint as Inspector Kragg was short-lived, mainly because I sat on my arse and watched the crew do all the hard work. I’m good at swinging my axe, not daintily snooping through desk drawers.
 
How did we get to that point? Well first we went to investigate the dead body. Now, I know a murder when I see one (you might say it takes a killer to know a killer), and this was just that. What made it spookier was the symbols painted on the wall. Just like the ones we saw at the Skyfire festival and a few other times along the way.
 
Aye, the game was afoot.
 
I won’t bore you with the details but the dead body was the fifth found like this, and we found a key and a token on ‘em. Turns out the key was for the admininst…administer…adminostraten…administration building right close to where the body was.
 
Naturally, we let ourselves in and that’s when the more delicate members of our wee coterie had a sniff around the place, rooting through desk drawers and such.
 
I stood guard to make sure they weren’t interrupted. Well… by ‘stood’ I mean sat on my arse on the reception desk but it served the same purpose.
 
Anyhoo, those dainty snoopers found records of records of weapons being sold to, or by, my memory’s a wee bit fuzzy, a Vorian Malkor.
 
The name didn’t ring any bells so off we went back to Oswin, who told us he was also known as Silverhand!
 
Every dwarf worth their salt knows bloody Silverhand. The amount of mid range axes we sell him on the promise they’re the premium good shite is hilarious! Thankfully humans can’t tell their arse from their elbow when it comes to exquisite craftsmanship so we’ve been getting away with it for years.
 
Poor bastards.
 
Had a chat with Oswin, who pointed us to a warehouse at the docks.
 
Time for some more snooping.
 
Wasn’t anything particularly exciting in there but there was a crate with Drimm’s family sigil burned into the side. As you might imagine, I had a wee peekaboo inside. A dwarf with four axes could always use a fifth, after all.
 
Did I find anything? Did I bollocks. All I got for my troubles was a cut finger and a foul mood.
 
The others found more coins and tokens with the number 12 and different crests on them but truth be told I was too pissed off to care.
 
Thankfully, on our way back, we were ambushed by a group of bandits. I was so relieved, I actually had something to take my anger out on.
 
I took out a couple of the leaders after they’d knocked down Rynaar. Who Thal healed and then the kinky elf bastard conjured up that magic weapon of his again - which I still think is cheating, by the way. Bort’s cannon was firing left, right and centre and Torwynn changed into a hyena.
 
I wasn’t sure if she minded me calling her Torwyena or not. The lass laughed at everything.
 
With Rynaar back and fighting fit, he started leaping around and bringing the pain with his staff. So much so that all the bandits started fleeing. Not before Torwyena had ripped off a few faces, mind you.
 
Aye, it’s deliciously violent when she gets like that.
 
Much to my and Torwyena’s annoyance, the others captured one of the bandits and kept him alive to interrogate. Turns out Silverhand had paid them to do the murders and watch us from across the docks. Sneaky bastard.
 
Just as the bandit shite was about to confess more, an arrow came out of nowhere and killed him. The wanker assassin was too quick and escaped, so off we went back to the Laughing Scholar to sleep for the night and work out what to do next.
 
IT WAS FUNNY AS FUCK WATCHING ALL THE FANCY-SCHMANCY TYPES LOOK AT US IN HORROR AS WE WALKED IN SOAKED IN BLOOD WITH A GIANT HYENA IN TOW.
 
Aye. Good times.
 
No dreams that night, just a good sleep.
 
Everyone says I snore.
 
Good, I say. Sign of a hearty rest.
 
Just like the hearty breakfast…or two…that I enjoyed before we went off to tell Oswin about what we found.
 
He started going on about blah blah warring families and old friends and blah blah.
 
I only started paying attention again when he offered a bag of cash, which Torwynn snatched out of his hand in a flash. Never seen the lass move so fast.
 
And while she shared the wealth out, Oswin said we needed to find proof…by breaking into Silverhand’s mansion and having a goosey gander for proof of him being a naughty boy.
 
I decided not to mention I’m about as subtle as fishing with dynamite, or a brick through glass. We could work out those wee details later.
 
So…
 
Off we went to scout out the mansion. Well, Torwynn and Jeremy went out, the rest of us sat in a tavern and waited. Okay, maybe not waited completely. We did have a look at the plans that Oswin had given us to suss out a route in. Then when Torwynn and Jeremy came back, the wee mouse hero had scouted out a lot of the place so we had a rough idea of where the guards were. Inside and out. Also where Silverhand’s office was.
 
The plan was simple. I’d wait in the bushes while the others broke in an stole what they needed to steal.
 
If things kicked off outside, I’d swing my axe. If things kicked off inside, I’d join them and swing my axe.
 
Easy.
 
With that agreed, we set out to get supplies.
 
Found a blacksmith, a dwarf call Prigg. He knew of Drimm’s work so I traded him Drimm’s axe for the sharpening of mine. Also negotiated Thal a good deal on getting his dagger sharpened too.
 
Then we went to an alchemist for some potions. Turns out he was a racist wee gnome. Old bastard, only wanted to deal with Bort. Maybe shitbags attract, who knows? Anyway, the others stocked up on what they needed and Bort bought a lucky dip potion. Doesn’t seem to be doing anything weird to him, thank fuck.
 
Well, anything weirder than he already is.
 
With the day done we headed back to rest up for the night.
 
After a few ales, at least.
 
ANYWAY.
 
This is where it gets interesting.
 
SO. I had another dream about this Dante fella. But this time, he was right infront of me and I could finally see him clearly…a dwarf!
 
Always knew he was an ancestor - you cannae bullshit a bullshitter, see? Oh I was suspicious at first, don’t get me wrong. But…
 
He knew all about our heritage, and past. One of the earliest of our line and he’s chosen me! ME! He’s gonna lend me his strength and be there when I need him. A proper dwarf. Of course, nothing comes for free, and he says he’ll call on me when he needs me, which is fine. Dwarves looking out for dwarves is what we do.
 
We swore an oath in the ancient way, with a cutting of palms and shaking of hands.
 
AYE, that moment I could feel power, REAL POWER, flow up my arm. It was good. Gonna be swinging my axe with a bit more juice these days.
 
Course then I woke up, and my hand was scarred. Yeah, it was real all right. I got me a true ancestral guardian. Can’t wait to tell the lads back home.
 
Next morning at breakfast I was still looking at my palm as we made the final preparations for the heist. Went over the plan, then headed out to pick up our weapons from Prigg and visit Alec the racist gnome alchemist a final time.
 
Now we’re just waiting for night to fall so we can get moving…