Inspector Kragg is on the Case

Down the river we travelled, no more spooky villages or lost lassies to find a home for. Was actually a pretty pleasant experience all things considered, I only had to threaten to drown the shitbag Bort once.
 
Then we came across a fat fella bathing in the river, each to their own of course but I wasnae expecting the bastard to stand up and show off his wee acorn. Not a sight I want to see any time again soon.
 
ANYWAY - the bastard then starts saying how he was the brains behind the adventurers who ended the Eldbury curse and saved the brewery! I told him politely that you cannae bullshit and bullshitter, a nod he doubled down on the lie!
 
Thal wasn’t having any of it and set the bush next to him on fire which scared the bugger away.
 
Elves, eh? They don’t fuck around sometimes.
 
After that it was plain sailing up to Rivenspire, or whatever it’s called. Heck of a place, by human standards at least. Got to hand it to those bastards, they don’t hang around when it comes to getting shite done. Probably because they live about as long as a potato.
 
There’s not much to write about after that, found the name of the blacksmith, Prigg, who should be able to sharpen the rest of my axe. Might even be able to sell him Drimm’s blade too.
 
We made our way to Baron of the place, duke, head-shed, whatever the human rank is. Old bastard, his son is the brains of the operation these days.
 
Oh! Shite. Almost forgot. We stayed in a fancy-schmancy inn that served a cracking breakfast. The works! Even had black pudding. I was like a pig in shit, let me tell you. De-bloody-licious.
 
Where was I? Son of the duke was the right bloke to talk to.
 
How did we know? BECAUSE TORWYNN CAN FUCKING TALK TO OUR MINDS, THAT’S HOW.
 
Yeah, crazy elf Druid magic or some shite, buggered if I know how. All I know is when she’s not talking to Jeremy (her pet mouse, long story) or ripping the faces off spiders as a bear, she’s talking straight into my brain. MY BRAIN.
 
So we went to talk to Junior in private and he started blathering on about the symbols, old houses, infighting, his best mate is now his enemy or some bollocks. Won’t lie, I prefer to solve my problems with axe first, questions second. Anyhoo, the symbols we’d been seeing everywhere were turning up at the murders. Thal and Rynaar were interested at this and we offered to help solve the crimes.
 
Well, in my case, separate the murderer’s head from their shoulders with my axe.
 
Solving murder with murder. Magnificent.
 
I’ll write more later, some guard officer has just announced there’s been another murder! Time for us to investigate.
 
Inspector Kragg is on the case…