Journal 10 - Day 8 in Beaumont

**Psychic Paper **
"My purpose has grown far greater than I thought, and I knew it would be huge. I have found one of our people, the fight here will be long but worth it. All my love. Kii"
 
 
(Written in The Queens French) Early hours of Dromstrath 39, 9998
Why did any of this happen? Why must I sit here in odd numbness, like suffocating under ice? Helpless I stare at Gambit who looks like the ugly side of death and the averial he gave his livelihood for. I fear I let my fear show. Seeing this man, my kin, locked away and being drained. Like a feeding bag. The expectations I face, the reality of my role here for a country I know no love for yet. The pressure is... overwhelming. Yet I smile and calmly gaze upon the party I keep like I have everything under control. I wish I knew what that felt like in for this situation, because faking is all I can muster right now. This battle was won but I have officially allowed the full reality to sink in. I won't claim full naivety but when you're urged to be the mouth piece of a movement that will help revolutionize an entire world... I'll give myself grace but I must move past the denial shock and accept the difficult path laid for me. The future moments that swirl around me like taunting fae are so muddy I can only pray my timing is correct and I move forward with the chosen beside me, to lead them in saving their world.
 
Focusing on the millions we saved instead of the dire situation in front of me and the one that plagues my mind so heavily. Remind myself that Hope can be found even in the seemingly impossible places. We found the slaved dragonborn, helping save nearly all of those we found. I pray that the peace the lost find with Auntie Rishi is beyond their wildest dreams. The once were people who enslaved these poor dragonborn, and one of my own, were no longer people. They were husks worn by heinous cloaks made from controlling barbed tentacles buried into their bodies. Confirmed insanity by the old world cult known as the Deremitru. These by gone people survived the second burning and are hell bent to fulfill what they believe to be the gods will. To destroy this fought for land like theirs before. Why did this group of people commit to the doomsday ideology while the others continued to grow, thrive, and emerge victorious after coming back to the surface? And what the hell is this thing they were trying to release. It was said to be alive and begging for death by... Ildris Highwater.
 
Goodness my mind, my emotions.
He is the great and then some grandfather of our Tahlia. He had a family, he had children... a wife? He gave it all up to protect us....
If my mind wasn't reeling enough already... I watched my used and abused elder come back from a decrepit old man to a life filled, young, man. He isn't from this time. He is from a time when Blink and Rishi burned their world and their people crawled back from the ground to restart. He gave his life and essence so this world would have a chance... I'm not sure how to feel about my reaction to his torture or to finding him but I know the love that runs strong through my blood for my people, fully and unconditionally extending to them here too. Something this man and I have in common I suppose. The moment I saw his weakened, nearly destroyed state. Something inside of me snapped. I did everything I could to make him comfortable, hearing his final words but then Gambit. Gambit.... he gave his everything to fulfil his purpose. To bring me to this averial. But to die for this cause? To be shooed away for "man talk"... I have again decided that I love to be be in the dark but not when it comes to the plans held. Or prophecies or... I am sorry Veritas, I am sorry my goddess. I know in the perfect moment, all will be revealed and until then I will patiently watch and wait. I will keep these two men in front of me safe it it means my life.
 
I'm exhausted but I'd better check on the others. I have an extra thank you to give my girl in wolfs fur. Truth, is a powerful tool and today I found out so is a following. Lux proved my point and showed what faith can do. Xhoya was perplexed but she said his condition of inevitable death was reversing. Thank you my precious gods, my prayers shall be drippy tonight. They've begun the arduous task creating decoys, I know I won't be of much help but I think the company may ease...
 
...no. Who am I kidding?