Alien Technology

“A CRACKPOT? IS THAT WHAT THEY TOLD YOU? NO, THE REASON I WAS EXPELLED FROM THE ACADEMY OF SCRIBES WAS BECAUSE I DISCOVERED THE TERRIBLE TRUTH–THE ANCIENT OSIRIANS WERE TAUGHT WIZARDRY BY ALIEN CREATURES FROM THE DARK TAPESTRY! WHY WOULD AN ADVANCED RACE BOTHER TO TEACH THE OSIRIANS MAGIC? TO EXTRACT THEIR BRAINS, OF COURSE! THESE CREATURES NEED BRAINS TO FUEL THEIR METAMORPHOSIS INTO MORE POWERFUL FORMS. ONCE THEY REACH THEIR ULTIMATE FORM, GOLARION’S INHABITANTS WILL BE POWERLESS TO STOP THEM FROM TAKING OVER THE WORLD!

NATURALLY, WIZARD BRAINS ARE MORE USEFUL TO THEM. PERHAPS IT’S THE WIZARD’S ABILITY TO STORE MAGICAL SPELLS IN HER MIND... WHAT’S THAT? WELL, OF COURSE THERE’S NO EVIDENCE OF THE ALIENS’ SPACE VEHICLES. THEY GROW THEM OUT OF ORGANIC MATERIAL THAT RAPIDLY DECOMPOSES! THERE’S OTHER PROOF, THOUGH. I’VE ACQUIRED LOTS OF IT. I’M NO CRACKPOT!”

–ALBRED FORDICH, DISGRACED OSIRIONOLOGIST