before the debriefing i met my friend "surprise" in the castle – she's part of the kitchen staff now, specializing in baking!
i told her about some of the treats i've gotten to enjoy from other places and i could see the creativity bubbling in her
she gushed about my new legs and how happy i seem now
she also complimented my barding which i totally forgot to take off because i've gotten so accustomed to wearing it whenever i'm out and about ...
then the less fun part
the regent isn't cheerless or anything but we talked about the journey ... and they wanted to know how i was holding up through it all
at first i was reserved about it because i've gotten so accustomed to holding back my emotions out there
then i was afraid to share too much because i didn't want to add my saddlebags' weight to theirs
but they insisted that i could let go ... and before i knew it i was a sobbing wreck
even with medya's care and the help of my friends and ploughshare's willingness to act as my therapist it hasn't been easy
iliana – it's so strange to not refer to them by their title! – was patient and kind as i rambled and they did cry with me through a couple parts
i decided to use my fabrication spell to make a copy of my journal to leave with them to read
i hope they can make sense of it all
i was kind of shaky while writing some of it
we're lucky to have them leading us
and when i think about the attitudes and actions of so many of the leaders of the places i've been i realize just how precious our regent is
... and just how fragile they're getting
thanks to some unknown magic from long ago (there's quite a story to that!) they have an unusually long lifespan but they're not immortal and i don't think most ponies have considered what happens when they pass
they carry a lot
we got to talking about hellebore
. . .
my great-grandmother will be heading back to her own home in the shadow marchesvery soon and i'm just fine with that
i can't imagine her hurting any other ponies but it's also near-impossible to imagine her hurting my grandmother and great-aunt in the first place and she took both their lives so i'm more than happy for her to stay away from everyone i care about
i hope she lives a peaceful life from here
oh and the whole "can only make the trip across the hedge when thelanis is fullest in the sky" thing? iliana apologized
it still bothers me but i've already forgiven them
i understand now
from their perspective most ponies have no idea how wrong things can go out there and a nudge to discourage them is a kindness
i believe that the best way forward is to slowly and carefully introduce ponies to the outside world but we need safe spaces first
i hope the new heart&hammer can be one of those spaces
maybe cogstown as a whole once breland is out from under wrugar's rule
that brings us to the delegation from house tharashk – they know the route to the everglow and there's nothing we can do about this except be ready for more
which means making good friends from outside who will help protect us and our way of life
after all that's what signal flare and prim rose went out there to find ...
tomorrow morning we'll be free to roam the city
there's so much i have to do
visit family and catch up with friends and deliver gifts and get more porcelain clay curing and set up a teleportation circle in my studio so i can visit home without going through the castle
and arrange a time with the academy to review my progress on my final project
i can't wait to see the look on the face of "nettlekiss" when i walk in on my own 4 proofs of concept!