Salvation Marines

The Salvation Marines are probably the closest thing the Gri'x has to an actual dimension-wide military force. They describe themselves as a pre-emptive vigilante outfit, and travel throughout the Realms, setting up camp in peaceful areas so that they'll be on hand should anything terrible happen there.   If serenity persists, the battalion will eventually sweep through the area, collecting donations of dry goods and unwanted knick-knackery for those in less-fortunate dimensions, much to the delight of those who had been planning to get rid of the items at some time but just hadn't gotten around to it yet.   In fact, the appearance of a Salvation Marines encampment within an area often elicits a festive spirit of competition among the inhabitants. People rush to sort their belongings and gather as many donations as they can before the sweep begins, each trying to amass more boxes and bags than their neighbors. Intentional squabbles have been known to break out among those who are falling behind, since the threat of conflict will keep the troops poised for combat, prolonging the opportunity to finish going through all that crap in basements and garages.   Once collected by the Salvation Marines, these spoils of war are thoroughly inventoried, processed, and catalogued by the Official Collections Division (OCD) at their headquarters in a massive warehouse in Crating, before being re-distributed to the public via their thrift store franchise locations.  

"It seems like a lot of extra make-work, all this record-keeping, but what do you think happens a week after the war is over, soldier? Huh? HUH? They turn the stuff over to us and then they realize they actually need it, don't they? And they want it back. And if we don't know where it went...my god, the horrors."
-- Lt. General Natilma Weatherward, 14th Division, Harmon Street Boutique, Crating

  No one knows what would happen if the Salvation Marines were to become involved in a real battle, since they haven't yet managed to successfully predict where any such events will actually occur. This is probably for the best, as rumor has it that some well-meaning officer put all their weapons in storage boxes several years ago, and due to a processing error, no one knows where they went.   One of the most stunning victories the Salvation Marines can claim occurred during the historic War of Santa Pez, a much-celebrated skirmish during which the paradisiacal territories were accidentally annexed by the mainland after Sir Ramidol Pillious Quirp put them in a large box to keep them from getting scratched, what with all the dust flying around.