Written by Gord Rammson, Master of the Forge-Hearth, First Cleaver of Stonepan Hall, and Culinary Instructor to the Anvilborn Guild
"If you can’t cook it over stone or eat it with calloused hands, it’s not real food."

Foreword

So. You’re not a Dwarf. Not your fault. Maybe your ancestors were soft-handed surface grazers. Maybe you just never had a proper meal. But you’re here now, and that means there’s hope. This book is for those who want to understand the fire, grit, and love it takes to cook like a true child of stone. You won't find any fluff here—just recipes that stick to your ribs and stay in your heart.

1. Stonebread

The backbone of every dwarf’s pack. Harder than your opinions, longer lasting than your grudges.

Bake until your hammer bounces off the crust.

2. Mossbarley Porridge

“Thick enough to hold a spoon, strong enough to hold a line.”

A forge-starter. Add sausage for warriors. Add jam for children. Add nothing if you're honest.

3. Deep-Boar Jerky

Chewable iron. Sacred trail food. Never dig without it.

Marinated in rock salt, emberpepper, glowcap spores, and smoked over funguswood coals. Tough, rich, perfect.

4. Forge-Honey Cakes

Sweet enough for celebration, solid enough for survival.

Flavored with ember-spice, stone honey, and mossbarley. Baked in hex-molds. Served warm or cold. Don’t share unless you must.

5. Embercrust Rolls

Sharp, crusty, molten-centered bread rolls. Serve with stew or smash into soup.

Cracked crust. Glowing heat inside. Add embernut dust for flair.

6. Stonelump Stew

Thick, brown, boulder-heavy stew. Eat before war. Or naps.

Root vegetables, fungal broth, meat chunks, and tunnel herbs. Stir with a mining spade.

7. Ash-Spiced Cave Eel

Crispy-skin, spice-blackened, smoked and broiled. Will scare the squeamish.

Coated in ashroot, fried in mushroom oil, and finished with pickled tunneltuber slaw.

8. Tunnelgrain Noodles

Chewy, earthy, the backbone of miner lunches.

Rolled with lichen flour and fungal broth. Served in hot stonebowls with broth, jerky, or eggs.

9. Cracked Ember Eggs

Marinated, smoked, and slightly spicy. Crack 'em. Slurp 'em.

Soaked in ash-spice brine and left to ferment for a fortnight.

10. Molten Pickle Mix

Sharp, hot, and vaguely dangerous.

Pickled root veg, emberpepper, vinegar, and crushed firefungus. Stored in ceramic jars with a warning rune.

11. Blackroot Slaw

Crunchy. Smoky. Slightly bitter. Excellent with roast meat.

Blackroot, shredded pickled fungus, salt oil, and ash vinegar.

12. Smokebloom Butter

Butter made from fermented cave-hog cream and smoked bloom petals.

Used for spreading on breads, sealing wounds, or threatening incompetent cooks.

13. Braised Glowcap Mushrooms

Cooked in spiced broth until tender. Glowing. Fragrant.

Served alongside fish or pressed into butter.

14. Rockfish Stew

Chunks of rockfish, root mash, and floating dumplings.

Boiled in salt-laced stonebroth with pickled moss stems.

15. Ironcakes

Pancake-shaped but made of metal-strength ingredients. Meant to endure.

Ground ironroot, moss flour, glowcap grease, and lichen syrup.

16. Pickled Tunneltubers

Sharp, vinegary, spicy. Pops like a curse in your mouth.

Kept in every forge pantry for emergencies and seasoning.

17. Lava-Thistle Sausages

Hot. Thorny. Infused with volatile oils.

Deep red casing. Explosive flavor. Cook slowly or risk detonation.

18. Smokefruit Leather

Pressed fruit paste from rare underground fruit, smoked dry.

Sweet, chewy, and essential for travel. Ancient bricks still survive in clan vaults.

19. Smokefruit Brick

Pressed and dried into dense blocks for long preservation.

Hard as stone, flavored like history. Some bricks made from extinct fruits are still sealed in vaults.

20. Glazed Embernuts

Hard-shelled nuts candied in stone honey glaze. Crunchy and sweet.

Usually cracked with tongs or a hammer.

21. Firefern Wraps

Fried leaf wraps filled with hot meat paste and smoked roots.

Used in festivals or eating on the go.

22. Deepdelve Puddingstones

Soft and delectable deserts with a chewy coating.

Served to smiths before they start masterwork commissions, and to children after their first commission.

23. Cave-Salted Beet Chips

Roasted slices of stonebeet. Seasoned with mineral-rich cave salt.

Served in mossbaskets. Crunchiest during tunnelball matches.

24. Stoneskin Yogurt

Thick fermented dairy with a mineral crust.

Used as both food and construction material. Crunches. Heals. Nourishes.

25. Cave-Hog Cheese

Sharp, aged, and slightly crumbly. Stinks like victory.

Made from deep-churned cave-hog milk and brined in saltstone water.

26. Ash-Sugar Pebbles

Hard candies made with volcanic ash and syrup.

Crack between teeth or melt in firewater. Kids love 'em. Adults pretend they don't.

27. Lava Jam

Jam from lava-thistle fruit, grown near molten flows.

Sweet, spicy, and glows faintly when warm. Spread on stonebread for forge breakfasts.

28. Bonepaste Soup

Hearty, chalky stew made with ground bone and mushroom broth.

Doubles as grout if left too long. Powerful healer, disgustingly nutritious.

29. "The Anvil Feast"

Made with history and legacy in mind.

Could be considered a Dwarf in a bowl. Eating a whole serving is enough to earn anyone's respect, let alone a Dwarf's.

Notes from Gord:

"Cooking isn’t about softness. It’s about knowing your ingredients, honoring your people, and not being afraid to burn your beard if it means the crust’s perfect. If you’ve made it this far, you’ve earned my nod. Now stop reading and start cooking."