Tragedy strikes

Where to begin... Life is cruel... Unrellentlessly cruel and unfathomably ruthless. I can only assume that my person either blocks bad luck or that impart luck on those around me. Yet again I am separated from the group and yet again disaster strikes within moments. Pierre-Pascal is dead. And if the others are telling the truth his passing was just as glorious as he believed his life was. In that way it is fitting. Little comfort, he is still gone.
 
I didn't know him for too long. But his nickname as the lighthouse was truly fitting, if perhaps not in the way he thought. He had something of a radiant personality, larger than life. Quick in spreading his bosts and quicker to revell, which I made clear at the treetop tavern. He will be missed.
 
And once again I am reminded about why I did not join the Spears. The death of one comrade is awful, the death of hundreds of comrades, terrible. The effect on Geneviève was notable. I cannot imagine that the effect on their parents will be any less so.
 
Maybe that is why change is needed. No goal however honorable can be worth the suffering of so many many people. So many soaring stars extinguished before their time. This simply cannot be what Heaven intended. The wars that my blessed mandate is conducting has lead to deaths beyond count. It is hard to see how that could be anything but a disaster.
 
But the Avatar is wise and is trying his hand at diplomacy. I am to contact high standing people and establish ties. However I am also to create rings of informants and fashion detailed maps. I'm my mind there is but one reason for the creation of such... But there has to be a greater reason. There must be something I am not seeing.
 
I really need to find BR. If the reports hold true then maybe he can give me some answers.