A Lesson In Teamwork

They all made it very clear, it is more about my language, less about my actions. More about inclusion, less about me being the decision maker. They do not feel heard. I listen. I take it all into consideration when formulating my decisions and plans. Isn’t war for soldiers? Isn’t saving humanity more important than flowery language? Fuck me, maybe. Maybe I’m the problem, maybe I’m not. Gods help us if I’m not.
 
In the hangar, I helped Gidget remove the guns from the Cindy. I really do like helping her. (I may have been delaying the upcoming discussions some, god damn emotions.) There is some comfort in working with my hands. I feel comfortable speaking with her, too. It's nice scenery too; she is not scared to wear low-cut blouses, show off what the gods gave her. She must feel comfortable with me, too. She shared some pretty personal thoughts. Thoughts not too far from my own. It is nice to know I have an ally here. Someone I think I can trust. She is appalled by the way I have been treated by Lux. I agree, I wasn’t sure if anyone else noticed. Lux claims it is because I do not respect them. I don’t know if I do. I protect them, I will protect them. Yes, she holds the cube. Wouldn’t I anyway? They are capable in battle, I’ll give them that. Lux is condescending, follows blindly, and does not respect what I have done to get where I am at. It may take a while for respect for them to grow. Next she confided that she too does not fully trust the sneaky cat either. Silas has something to hide. I’ll sniff it out. I am not sure that Zero is corrupt or not, but parts of the cartel definitely are. I have never trusted them. Again, very helpful in battle though. She does not trust that Kii is completely truthful either. There is a crack there; I may keep it exposed. I may need numbers. Gidget was upset with the way I have been handling Xhoya. She has some fair points, I am so stressed… maybe I owe her an apology. I am glad she trusts me enough to talk to me like that. I will keep her close and protected. She still feels she owes me… if she helps me stay sane, I do. I am glad she told the group most of those things. A weight lifted.
 
We climbed up into the Driftwood. It’s cool and all, but what the fuck. We are now flying spaceships? Kii seemed to understand the controls. I have a lot to understand. I would much rather travel by bike. Wind in my hair, bugs in my teeth. This machine moves fast. It proves to be helpful. As long as these Keepers, the Black Axel Cartel, and any other faction are supplying us with weapons, I’ll take them. We will need it.
 
Everyone had something to say, everyone had input. They mostly fail to see the importance of rank and file. If they do, they didn’t want to show it because they do not want me as their leader. I honestly do not think that they do want a leader. Some sort of democracy. Sounds fucking great. Doesn’t work in situations like this. We do not have time to train. We do not have time to have heartfelt discussions. We would be better served operating fast, efficient, and lethal. I believe I can make that happen; they do not.
 
Silas played mediator while making sure that the party was still headed in the direction of his choice. Could be a trap. Imagine that fucking “I told you so.” He does seem more trustworthy than many members I have met. If he is leading them into a trap, it is not on purpose.
 
Echo also played the middle, he is gaining emotion by the day. If he was learning under the control of the BRN then he would have a very different demeanor. He learns from this group. He is a very capable weapon. I am worried he will become harder to “fire.” He let me know that he too has feelings. He isn’t just a weapon; he would like to be treated as an equal. I will learn.
 
Xhoya and Lux gave me an earful. Briefly though. I get that they don’t see me. They will; my sisters do. Man, I miss those little shits. They remained fairly quiet throughout the conversations. I believe Lux is a little more understanding now, and will possibly understand that I will protect her if she lets me. Xhoya too.
 
Kii. She is passionate if anything. She is resilient and she seems to be a leader. Her style different but more effective with this group. Shit, she would be eaten alive in the BRN ranks. But we aren’t in the BRN ranks. This seems to be her point. She argued her reasoning with emotion. I stayed quiet. I listened. Her passion shows; she seems to actually care for these people. To actually care for me. I am not sure if I understand her why. That fucking alarms me. She makes reasonable points, though, they all do. If they would only see it my way, it would all be so much easier. “War isn’t easy. War is blood, war is tears, war is hell… Victory is divine.” Ember Eyes’ words ring in my ears. She is easy on the eyes and easy on the ears. She is helpful in battle and has the ears of the group. I am unsure of her origin or purpose so I will move cautiously, but I will be more open to her advice in the future.
 
I haven’t had much time to process. Battle soon followed the conversations. Not normal battle, not a ground fight. An air battle. A forced lesson in teamwork as we had very little time to figure anything out. The Gazelle has found us. Let me rephrase, the Gazelle has hunted us. Prey? This is new, A feeling I will not have repeated. I am the hunter, not the hunted. I am the killer. I will defeat this asshole and give him to Gidget for parts. Fuck him, fuck them. I’m tired. We did win the battle, though, barely. We quickly took to the stations that everyone deemed appropriate for the different skill sets. Echo and I were completely in sync running the Driftwood energy shields. We managed to hold off one attack but faltered together in stopping the rest. I suspect damage. We used some surprisingly well-thought-out tactics to attack the Gazelle like a bird of prey. The hunter becomes the hunted. Through teamwork, we were able to win the fight and escape with our lives. When it mattered, we worked well together despite our differences. Maybe we are trainable as a unit. I will return… I may not have to, he will likely find us again before we track him down.
 
It is time to think. Time to strategize. Is it in my best interest to “calm down” and fall into their idea of a unit? Can I really trust all of them? Should I just try to cut my ties and run? Go alone? Find more of my kind to operate with? Can I convince Gidget? Can I get the cube out of here? Should I listen to them and attempt to train us as a unit? I will at least attempt to work with Lux some. A lot to consider. For now, I will lie low — well, as low as I can lie. I will attempt to treat the others as they are asking to be treated. I will continue to dig, to learn, to listen. I will hunt down my Captain’s captor. I will defeat the Gazelle. I will bring down the Deremitru. I will restore order to the BRN. I will save Beaumont. Or I will die trying. I must see my family before that happens.