Broken Formation

I lift myself out of the cold ash. The blood covered my body like the storms that roll over Beaumont. It was still warm, not all mine, I’m sure. A good amount of it must have been, though. This is the closest to death I have been yet. I let go and succumbed to the warmth that the light provided. Maybe I would sit with Veritas and look down on this wretched land, finally break from all of this turmoil and war. Not my time, not yet. I felt a surge of energy as the stimpack worked its way through my body, and I pushed forward, protecting the Cube and the party that currently seems held together by it. I would gladly lay my life down if it meant winning the battle and pushing the mission forward. Hope felt lost, too far out of my grip to pull back in. I ordered them to protect the Cube and leave, but they wouldn’t. They will claim it was to protect me. Whether that was true or not, it was ill-advised. They kept me alive, yes, but the risk was not worth it. We barely escaped, and Silas and Lux were close to death as well. Sloppy.
 
Lux yelled, “I saved your ass again!” but the truth is, I wouldn’t have fallen if we had worked as a unit and fought on our terms. I wouldn’t have fallen if I hadn’t had to chase them through rubble under gunfire. I lead, they do not follow. They don’t trust me because I wear a uniform. They don’t trust me because I am loyal. What the fuck kind of sense does that make? They do not trust me, even though I continuously shed blood to protect them? They will gladly let me take the blows and stay protected, yet when it comes to my opinion, I am wrong before I even speak it.
 
Not all is lost though. They are capable, extremely so. Even though I disagree with how the battle unfolded, they stayed, they fought, and they came out, for the most part, victorious. They are resilient. Silas understands how the military operates and seems reasonable. I believe he will speak sanity into the group. I do not trust the cartel or this “Z3RO” figure, but I will make use of his tools in the meantime. Echo, although not programmed like a traditional weapon, executed solid tactical decisions. Gidget — I am beginning to question her combat role, as she stayed away from the fight, though admittedly, someone did need to stay back. She seems to respect me more than some of the others. I can sense tension between her and Kii. Maybe I can exploit it. Widen the crack. Gidget will need someone to lean on, and I will need numbers if I am to regain any measure of command. Kii is interesting. Conflicted. Her love for the younger ones may become her downfall. She stayed back for too long. If Xhoya and Gambit want to curl up and hide, then fine, let them. Kii is letting her compassion interfere with the mission. I suspect she has her own agenda, and I intend to find out if it aligns with mine.
 
If the Cube were more accessible, I may have taken it and run. I believe I might be better off alone than risking my life for a party that has no faith in me or the BRN. But I will stay. I will fight. I will continue my mission and protect the people I love. I will hunt down those who wronged me, and those who wrong Beaumont. I will uncover who is behind the corruption in the BRN. I will bring an end to this. Eventually.
 
 
 
For now, I need to reunite with the group. We will sort it out. I can see Kii is itching to give me an earful. Joke’s on her — I can’t hear shit right now. Lux will likely jump in and yell about something. Silas will attempt to find common ground, but of course, it will be the Black Axel way. The rest will follow along blindly, while accusing me of blindly following. Interesting.
 
— Jaxion