18.Love

Dear diary,
 
I love you. Does that make me self centered? Because I'm technically loving myself. Anyway that is not a bad thing either. I love myself too. Okay, lets start over. Dear diary, it's been a while since I last wrote in you and a lot of things have happened. I feel good now and in a good mood. I feel we are getting closer to our goal, but anyway.
 
Last time we had just voted our new ship captain, Nixie. I must say I wasn't the happiest with the result, but you don't always get what you want in life. I sure learned that. But no, I am being too dramatic. I live a beautiful life, I couldn't ask for more. So captain Nixie started her leadership with a nice speech for the crew. It was... sloppy yes, but inspiring, I guess. I don't see the most charismatic leader in Nixie, but it's not all about that. I do believe in her and I will surely help her along the way if she needs any help. After the speech we gathered to talk about whatever the fuck happened just a day before. Pullius and Heron. Main subjects. One was oblivious of his problems, the other was naked. Yeah, I know. So we started talking. Pullius was a bit rude towards Eve at some point, and didn't seem to realise. She had enough, so just left and went to sleep. We tried to understand the problems of our two subjects. It wasn't the best of talks I must say. Things got a bit heated at some point so we decided it's late and we should rest and talk about that tomorrow.
 
In the morning I saw that Pullius was sleeping a lot longer than usual, so I tried to wake hip up and bring the others. He apparently had a very.. tiring sleep. He was very sluggish the whole day. We asked him about that, but he failed to say anything to us. He kept insisting it's nothing, while we all knew it's that demon's work. We tried, I guess. I don't really understand Pullius. Last night he told us, practically everything that was going through his brain. Even about our little chat from that night. He actually listened to us. But this time he just closed off. I don't know. I hope he is managing, we are trying to be there for him. After we had breakfast, a bit later in the day than usual Pullius went on deck with the others while I stayed a bit more in our room to organise some of my stuff. Just when I was going to get out and go to Laimon for something, Eve wanted to talk to me. We stopped and looked at each other. I don't know what happened, it took me a few seconds to respond to her greeting. And just after that she pushed me back into the room, saying she needs me. And I am no fool. I locked the door behind her as we started to kiss and undress each other. The past few days were horrible, death all around us and some of our comrades died whilst fighting those horrible ghosts and undead. It might have not been appropriate by some standards, but having Eve close to me helped, and I could feel her feeling the same. We both needed each other. At some point I heard a loud bang underneath the lower deck and people starting to shout and making a lot of noise in general. That's when we decided to throw any caution out the window and just... love. However things calmed down at some point. We dressed back as fast as possible, smirking at the other, and went to see what was going on. It seems we had found a marshlander, from the Lasmai tribe, Eve told us. A lizard like humanoid. His name was Marv. He was an old friend of Damaschini's. Pullius didn't meet him, but he had heard about him from Damaschini. So we could confirm his identity. He teleported into the storage section of our ship with a strange ring... I don't know how to feel about that ring or wherever he got it from, but it was a one ff. So no harm could come from it anymore. It was apparently a stone altered by some exterior and powerful will. I don't really understand how magic and will can alter stones, but it seems a very interesting subject. I heard Damaschini uses diamonds for his scythe and whatever else he has. I wonder if it's the same thing. I only heard crazy stories about him. About how he can summon a huge snowflake? of pure magic that sends black arcanic lightnings on his foes. And of course about his scythe being the vormiolese-slayer, which I found funny. That liberation war in Alomir really made him a lot more popular. I wish we'd meet him one day. Anyway, I got sidetracked. Marv is a really nice guy, he will get along well with us I am sure. He has some very interesting craftsmanship on his tail. Lots of spikes and it seems that ball at the end can even be thrown at the enemy. I am sure he didn't expect to land in the middle of the sea, between the Western Desolation and the cursed forest of Galaston (probably). We presented our situation to him and told him about our goals. I am sure he will find a purpose with us.
 
I went to our cook Laimon to ask him for a favor. I wasn't so sure he would accept but I had to try something. I wanted to bring Eve a very nice breakfast the next day. No reason actually. I just wanted to treat her. Just because we are together doesn't mean I should stop trying to impress her. He agreed!!!! I was so happy. I know we didn't have much on the boat, but Laimon managed to prepare a great meal anyway. I cannot wait to give it to her.
 
After that, a bit later into the day after we all trained a bit, Heron gathered us and told us more about his problem. Eve talked with him and told us in private about him. I am glad Heron listened to me when I asked him to talk with her. Anyway, he apparently has some sort of 6th sense. A lust sense... no, THE lust sense. He has this weird urge sometimes when people around him are more lustful, I guess. And HE CAN FEEL OTHER'S LUST AND THOUGHTS. I don't know how to feel about that. It feels intrusive I must be honest. I told him that too. But I understand his problem, and we agreed we would help him get over it. He was born like that, but that doesn't mean he cannot let it go and fight it. we came with a GREAT solution. Every time he starts thinking about, anything sexual really, and feels that urge of... going for it... we would try to make him tell us everything that goes into his brain. I hope I won't regret that decision. Oh god. I think we will manage. God dammit Heron you weirdo.
 
The same day's evening was booked for our together training. This time we started talking about Talion's dream. Which was indeed unnerving. It was basically a very visual way of making Pullius lose faith in our purpose. A new demon had taken the lead it seems. Verfy got a bit frustrated and impatient because we couldn't solve Pullius. That made Eve a bit mad so she decided to leave. I went after her to talk to her and comfort her a little, at least. I know she doesn't change her mind usually, but I had to try, because I care for her. I returned unsuccessful, but at least I talked with her a bit about it. The topic for this evening's session was: "why do we always complicate our lives?" and "let's establish some limits". We started to talk and we agreed on some subjects. It seems more people are very concerned about us not being able to fulfill our purpose. I tried to explain them how I was thinking and how that could that help everybody. It seems I touched their hearts there, and they agreed with me. So yeah, one problem solved. About the boundaries everybody that had a problem spoke up and we agreed on some ground rules. I sometimes feel like a father in those together trainings, it's not happening often, and by no means I mean it in a superior way. I don't know, I just speak my mind most of the time and put my heart in my words. I do care a lot for those people and our mission and I dedicated myself to it. After that Nixie called us all in to tell us about or cook Laimon. I didn't get why this was such an important matter but whatever. So, dear diary, apperently our cook Laimon is Isbel Lofkia, princess of Pelin and the daughter of the guy Damaschini and Talion burned to death in Alomir. It looked like Verfy too, knew about that. I guess I was just so oblivious of the signs, I don’t even know. We devised a plan for that. We figured her coming to this ship wasn’t for the love and appreciation she held for Pullius or Damaschini. We decided we would keep her identity a secret and only Verfy and Nixie would talk to her. Just like until now. I kind of feel weird now for that breakfast thing, meh, doesn’t matter. After that, Eve and I continued our Gavan lessons, and this time I could focus entirely on her and her teaching. I was in my element today. Eve is a very good teacher too.
 
I knew Eve wasn’t feeling the best from the past few discussions and events, so I asked Pullius if it was okay for him if I didn’t sleep in our room that night. Because of Marv there has been some shifting about who sleeps where, and it just so happens Eve was alone tonight. We never slept together so I decided it was the best opportunity. Pullius was kind enough and agreed. That night was probably the calmest and sweetest sleeps we had. Eve just wanted to be the little spoon and I was more than happy to deliver.
 
In the morning I brought her that breakfast and she slapped me for quote: “wasting food on her”. I was so mad and attracted to her at the same time. Haha. I ordered her to eat the food and we started playing a bit with the food. How cheeky of her. We had a good time nonetheless. Hihi. I went upstairs and asked Drenizek for some help with my new idea. The singing one. He showed me how he manages to touch people’s hearts with his singing and told me some tips. It was helpful advice. So that’s how I started to train for my soul touching singing, from the crew’s drunkard. What a comedy. I did underestimate Drenizek. He seems to know a lot more about us than it seems. Everybody went on with their daily trainings, as we didn’t have much wind anyway. Today I wasn’t the best at learning. I was focused too much on my singing, I decided to show Eve too. I don’t know how much of a good job I did, but she did seem more playful than usual. Safe to assume we didn’t do much Gavan that day. Ooops.
 
We passed some weird towers towards the evening, so Verfy and Pullius decided to stay away tonight in case anything would happen. The rest of us went to sleep. Sometime in the night Verfy woke us up because something was wrong. I don’t work very well when I don’t get enough sleep. But I quickly woke up when I saw Pullius grabbing Eve with an immense force, while still sleeping. Looks like our mage got possessed by that demon friend he had. I helped Eve get out of his grip and hugged Pullius so he couldn’t hurt the others while I started to sing, trying to reach him. The devil of him was smart though. While Verfy wasn’t paying attention he sleepwalked and grabbed a knife and used it to stab me in the back. He was unusually powerful, and those stabs really hurt, but I wasn’t going to let that stop me. I held tight but Eve pulled me back, while Verfy and Nixie held him. That’s when Pullius started to kiss Eve. It must have been funny for that demon to do that. We freed Eve and I went back in. He decided to kiss me too, which I found would actually be a good idea. I tried to empty my mind and ignore the fact I am kissing Talion and focused on something more. When I first kissed Eve it was magical. Like I said before I feel that’s the best way we managed to communicate. That’s what I tried to do with Pullius this time. I tried to communicate our dedication and love for the purpose we had created. After all, that’s what kisses are for, love. I must’ve sparked something in Pullius because he managed to get a hold of himself and wake up, therefore getting out of Axiol’s grip. He pushed me aside, when he saw us kissing, which was a true relief. I don’t know how the others reacted to this because I was back to feeling pain in my back. Eve tried to patch me up and clean my wound, but I think she panicked a bit and made a mistake because I felt I would faint from the pain of something. She quickly brought Vas to patch me up. He gave me some leaf to eat, to lessen the pain. Little did I know it lessened me whole. I must say it did it’s job perfectly, but I was so drugged I could barely walk at this point. I was a jelly. Eve brought me to a bed and stayed with me. I am not really sure what happened then. She was talking to me, trying to keep me company I assume, and then I think she left. I was calling for her and heard nothing. I remember mumbling stuff in my sleep. I had some weird dreams that night. I might’ve told her I love her. But I don’t know if she was there, or if anybody was there. I wished she was there. I woke up in the afternoon, all patched and well. I was alone in my room so I guessed nobody heard me. Everybody then told me about what had happened that night with Pullius and the Black Sylph. Looks like Pullius finally managed to defeat Axiol. That was nice, but he had another demon, a lot stronger, that was feeding of his helplessness. The Black Sylph was affected heavily by this fight. She lost a leg….. I feel bad for wishing Eve was next to me now. I put myself above the Black Sylph. I am glad they went to comfort her. I was just sleeping anyway. She needed them, not me. I am proud of Pullius, but now he has a new war to fight.
 
This day I didn’t do much, since I was still half drugged all the time. Eve and the others trained so I decided to spend some time with the Black Sylph. I talked with her a lot. About Eve, about our journey, everything. But mostly Eve and how happy I was with her. And how she would be a great mother. And how I was so thankful she was here with us. And everything… I felt very comfortable talking with her. I know good feelings help her get through tough times so I just spilled all my affection on the spot. I am not even sure how much we talked. She told me Eve likes cookies, and I knew she liked them too so I had this wonderful idea of baking them some cookies. I again went to… hm, hm, Laimon to ask if I could borrow some ingredients. I stumbled upon Verfy on the way there. Looks like she wanted to prepare a surprise for Xebec for his birthday. Hehe. Good on you Verfy. Now Eve and I can look at you judgingly too! Haha. Laimon agreed to help us both. For a seventeen year old girl that seeks revenge she is very kind. I think we might’ve helped her a bit, I don’t know. Verfy organised a party for “the well being of the crew”, when everybody knew it was for Xebec, but never mind that. Drenizek entertained us tonight, as I decided I would take Eve dancing. I like to sing and entertain people too, but tonight I wanted to entertain my little poppy. It was a nice party. I saw Verfy and Xebec dancing at some point, quite close I may add. Hehe. I definitely gave her one of those judging looks with Eve. As the party died down Eve and I went to sleep.
 
The next day I brought Eve and the Black Sylph the cookies I made! They were very happy, especially the Sylph. They were good. Laimon did help a bit. Then we returned to our Gavan lessons for a couple of hours. After that, when Nixie came to learn more Old Elvish alongside Eve, I started to practice my singing. The secret is feeling. I must first truly feel what I am singing and what I am trying to tell the people. It’s complicated but I am making progress, I can feel it. Getting your soul out there is no easy task, so I first must learn how to harden my spirit. I spend the rest of the days doing just this, everyday. We had some good windy days and we made a lot of progress. I feel we are getting really close, I cannot wait to get the Black Sylph home. Everybody made good progress with their training. I am really proud of us all. I decided to show them this. I know we spend pretty much everyday together, but I figured it wouldn’t hurt to tell them. I made a habit of going to everybody’s room at night and just tell them good night. I also gave Eve a kiss on the forehead every night before sleep. It might not be much, but it’s my way of lifting the spirits up. ^^
 
May the Almighty help us finish our journey.