Thezeus Gehts

The screen comes on to see a man walking onto set from the right to sit on a tall stool. He is dressed in a leisure suit, looks to be in his middle 30’s and has a sharp looking moustache. He sits onto the stool and straightens out his jacket, then clears his voice a couple of times, while looking beyond the camera. He begins to do a lip stretching exercise then blinks, looking at someone.   “Oh, its on already? I’m on?” He focuses on the camera and gives a big, welcoming smile, erasing the momentary look of panic written there.   “Well hi there! A pleasure to meet you. I mean, I haven’t met you yet, but I hope to. I am Love Liner Passenger 435, but you can call me Thezeus. That’s 4, 3, 5 in case you want to ask for my number.” He shifts awkwardly on the stool, then gives another smile. “Tell you about myself? Sure! I am the eldest of seven kids. My mom was really into astrology and greek myths, so that is where I got my name. Well, technically my name is Tony Thezeus Gehts, but… oh, I’m not supposed to give my full name? Woops!” He gives a bashful shrug of his shoulders towards the camera. “My dad loved the old Marvel superheroes, anything by Lee. I’m named after Iron man. Then in order, we have Peter Hades, Bruce Orion, Clea Calypso, Johnny Hermes, Logan Odysseus, and Wanda Artimes. My mom’s heart gave out with Wanda, and my dad kind of lost it, so I did a lot of the raising of my sibs. I…. right. No names.”   His vision focuses a moment beyond the camera, “What do I do? Oh, yea! Follow the script, right?” He looks back to the camera, flashing a smile. “ I am a former dockworker down at Umbrella Industries. I put in a couple years there to make sure all my sibs were good to go on education or jobs. When Wanda finished up, I decided to follow my dream… Entrepreneur!” He gives some jazz hands to the camera. “Whatever you want, Thezeus Gehts. I can get you a parking ticket pulled or get you a date to a snazzy ball, or…. Well you could take me, but I totally could get you someone else, too, like LLP 328. I was talking to him a moment ago and he has a set of guns on him that could…,” he is interrupted by the camera person. “Oh, right. I like dogs, walks along the freight docks, and drinks over a game of darts. But I don’t have a pet, I’m not tied down! Just saying I prefer dogs, and don’t mind if you have one. Or a cat. They would be fine. And I’m really good at darts! I can… “ The feed ends.