The Kingdom of Blintz

The Kingdom of Blintz is a small island just south of Santa Pez. It's a popular attraction for Tourmites, but the paradisiacal setting and the idea-rich aetherical mists also bring many Dreamers to its streets, which are, indeed, paved with gold.   The first settlers of this land were migrants from the ‘Node who had focused their expansive imaginations on material wealth and luxurious lifestyles—in fact, their daydreams were so focused on riches that the island itself bubbled up from the Oseen as a physical manifestation of the founders’ desires.   Once they discovered rich deposits of precious metals and gems in the mountains there, they defected entirely from the ‘Node, eager to become Gri’xian citizens. After many years of mining and amassing their treasure, though, they were dismayed to learn that there were limited options on which they could spend it: as the Gri’xian economy runs on private barter and trade, the value of anything is entirely subjective.   In the Gri'x, gold, silver and jewels are highly prized by the artists who love to create with them, but these artists seldom had anything to trade besides their art. However, one can only fit so many paintings on the walls—and paintings are rarely edible. The ‘Nodian immigrants were similarly disappointed when they took their riches DownTown to open bank accounts, as the Symbolencie Block Appraisers’ Guild valued the piles of raw ore and rough stones at right around the same level as a stack of really good pancakes.   Ever the opportunists, though, some of the founders of Blintz stuffed the whole project as a lost cause and went off to apprentice themselves to the established Symbolencie Block moguls, hoping to learn more about the inner workings of the barter-and-trade market and the accumulation of Gri’xian wealth. Others adjusted their ambitions and remained on the island as beachcombers and retirees.   Gauphinius Blattherd was one who remained. And when the settlers came, his executive-level managerial skills were just what was called for.   Piles of extracted riches remained where they were, out in the open and free for the taking. Artists and craftspersons, not being able to afford shipping charges, began to make pilgrimages to Blintz to get their hands on these exquisite materials. There they created golden statues, beautiful jewelry, intricate little machines with no determinable function (but very, very beautiful), and countless other masterpieces. From across the dimensions, creators heard about the budding art colony and its resources, and began arriving in waves. Architects and city planners had a field day. Tailors, writers, musicians, actors, sketch artists and designers built theaters and studios, set up their easels on the golden street corners, or set themselves up in squalid little mountain hovels where they hoped that art lovers would seek them out so that they could establish their eccentricity by yelling at all such comers to leave them alone.   Were it not for Gauphinius’ supervision, the place would have become even more of an intraversable mess than it is now. As he took on more and more responsibilities for the accommodations of the artists and their art, they began to refer to him as “Emperor,” regardless of his repeated assurances that he was, indeed, really just a Project Manager. Eventually he accepted the title in good humor and became Emperor Blattherd I.   And the creators just kept coming. They built, brooded...and bred. Within three generations, the beauty of the thriving new kingdom was legendary throughout the Gri’x and beyond...as was the genetic temperament of the inhabitants. Native Blintzians are renowned not only for their artistic skills, but for their inherent tendencies to emotional volatility and melodrama.   Today, the Kingdom of Blintz is a thriving city of creativity, which draws large crowds of tourists year-round. These visitors are an important part of the island’s ecosystem, because no matter how wonderful a piece of art is or how many people get to look at it, the artist still requires basic necessities to survive.* Once Emperor Blattherd I established the marketplace, people flocked to Blintz from all over existence, bringing food, clothing, art supplies, and specialized equipment to trade for one-of-a-kind original masterpieces. This system works well: not only does it ensure that the artists get to eat (assuming they remember to do so), but it keeps the island itself from imploding beneath the endless deluge of paintings, sketchbooks, sculptures, and manuscripts, and stage shows that would only continue to pile up if no one ever came to take it away.

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*The island’s residents were getting plenty of attention before the tourism began and the marketplace was established, but still, many of Blintz’ early settlers died of exposure. They have since been immortalized in a beachside memorial, though, so they’re probably doing all right.