Hello! Gorg here! Gorg from Gorg Corp! Yes!
Gorg Corp have new product. Gorg is sure you will love it, so pay attention.
Look!
Ta-daaa!
Now, Gorg know what you say. “Gorg,” you say, “This just rock. Already have rock. No need new rock.”
But wait! Friends, this no ordinary rock. This
new-and-improved rock. Yes! It
Multi-Rock from Gorg Corp!
Multi-Rock all Gorg’s idea. Gorg thought of it first. Anyone say otherwise? May the gods send many sand fleas to infest their loins.
Or maybe Gorg just hit them with Multi-Rock! Like this!
See? Amazing! Yes! (Sorry, Thorb.)
But there is more. So much more! Protecting Gorg’s intellectual property is just
one thing Gorg Corp Multi-Rock can do.
Maybe tribe following mammoth herd through
Twis’tangle savanna? Uh, oh! Once again God of Light and Fire abandons us! This happen
every night! So annoying! Now everyone whining, so cold, so dark.
Well, Gorg’s Multi-Rock makes fire and light too! Just beat Multi-Rock against other, normal rock until you get spark, and look! Now tent is on fire. Bright and toasty warm! No need to wait for Storm God to send sky-fire spears! With Multi-Rock you carry
own fire!
What is toast, you ask? Let Gorg tell you, toast is almost as tasty as mammoth flank, but no one has to chase it across fields or poke it with sticks. Gorg find out about toast when Gorg had that funny dream. Has Gorg told you about Gorg’s dream? Gorg dreamed about going through shiny hole in the air, and Gorg met strange people—
GORG NOT CARE IF DURP HEARD GORG’S DREAM ALREADY. GORG IS GOING TO TELL IT AGAIN, OK? NOW SHUT UP DURP AND LET GORG FINISH.
Anyway. Strange people in Gorg’s dream said their tribe was called
ZokCo Marketing Research Department. They had cold fire for light, and hot food, and bright warm cave. At first, they were frightened of Gorg, but Gorg asked to learn about their magic. So they teach Gorg ancient secrets of product development, and supply-and-demand, and demographic analyses. They show Gorg how to make Gorg’s ideas work for Gorg! Yes! And for all Gorg’s friends, too! Friends like you!
Then Gorg goes back through shiny hole and comes out right in front of very cranky mammoth. That where Grog got idea for Multi-Rock!
Now, Gorg have even bigger dreams! Now Gorg dreams of making life more convenient for everyone in whole tribe with Multi-Rock!
Is that all though? What else you think Multi-Rock do?
SHUT UP DURP, GORG JUST ASKING RHETORICAL QUESTION.
Hit Multi-Rock just so, and you get sharp edge. Good for scraping yucky stuff off animal hides for new loincloth, or even making pointed sticks! Very easy to stab fish in style, thanks to Multi-Rock!
Scrape Multi-Rock against other rock, and Multi-Rock make colors! Make very nice paintings! Maybe make painting of Gorg! Gorg need painting for Gorg’s CEO office.
Smash plants beneath Multi-Rock until plants turn to powder, then start fire (with Multi-Rock!), mix plant-powder with water, and make bread. Goes nice with fish! For record, this first step to making toast. Just sneak preview for now, though. Gorg Corp not introducing Toast until next season.
Friends, Gorg thanks you for your time. Even dumb old Durp. Gorg hope whole tribe love Multi-Rock as much as Gorg does. Gorg happily provide Multi-Rock to everyone who wants one, but only if you agree to give Gorg ten percent of everything you make with Multi-Rock.
Oh, you no understand what means “ten percent”? Well, join Gorg again tomorrow, and Gorg introduce another new product: Gorg Corp Math Pebbles!
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