GGAPExB Mission Statement
From the Greater Gri’x Association for the Preservation of Excessive Bureaucracy Employment Application for the position of Assistance Coordinator Level 2 (Phase 7: Pre-Post-Interview Preparatory Documentation and Comprehensive Assurance Agreement, pp 380 (signatory page)):
Subsection 24 Applicant: please initial each line to indicate your understanding of, and agreement with, the following points of the GGAPExB Mission Statement. 1) The existence, nature, and perpetuation of all realities are dependent on the conscious observation and documentation of said observations of said realities. 2) The more thoroughly we document the past and present, the better prepared we are to step into the future with a well-documented past and present. Thus, it is the imperative duty of the Greater Gri’x Association for the Perpetuation of Excessive Bureaucracy to collect, archive, and maintain records and other documentation concerning all aspects of existence, including, but not limited to, things, citizens, events, situations, and other recordable data, as relating to the Gri'x and its surrounding territories, through regularly scheduled observation and affirmation of said records and documents.
(Sections 4-1119, which summarize the various duties of each employee in each position, and how these tasks relate to the GGAPExB Mission Statement, are omitted here for brevity. Non-applicants can access these sections online or in person at the GGAPExB Main Building DownTown, by filling out Supplementary Employment Information Special Form 210: “Request for Executive Summary of Employee Duties in Relation to the GGAPExB Mission Statement.” Don’t forget to take a number. — GttG Ed)
1120) By initialing each point above and signing the full name below, the Applicant so affirms that, if hired, they shall uphold the Mission and Standards of the GGAPExB as stated. SIGNATURE: _______________________________________________ * Proof of existence is required of all persons wishing to obtain access to the GGAPExB Archives.
Subsection 24 Applicant: please initial each line to indicate your understanding of, and agreement with, the following points of the GGAPExB Mission Statement. 1) The existence, nature, and perpetuation of all realities are dependent on the conscious observation and documentation of said observations of said realities. 2) The more thoroughly we document the past and present, the better prepared we are to step into the future with a well-documented past and present. Thus, it is the imperative duty of the Greater Gri’x Association for the Perpetuation of Excessive Bureaucracy to collect, archive, and maintain records and other documentation concerning all aspects of existence, including, but not limited to, things, citizens, events, situations, and other recordable data, as relating to the Gri'x and its surrounding territories, through regularly scheduled observation and affirmation of said records and documents.
a) It is further the mission, purpose, and aspiration of the GGAPExB to make all such documentation available to all Requestors* wishing to observe it, provided that:
3) Employees of the GGAPExB are responsible for the acquisition, preparation, duplication, preservation, indexing, cross-indexing, retrieval, periodic observational maintenance, and distribution of all Documents in the Copenhagen Memorial Archival Chambers. As such, all employees, upon hiring, understand, affirm, and agree:
- The Requestor has completed Document Request Form, sections 1-5 (Application for Archival Retrieval and Duplication) to the best of their knowledge and belief.
- The Requestor has taken no more than one number from a GGAPExB Tier 1 Numeric Turn Dispenser and is present in the Waiting Area.
- Upon the calling of the Requestor’s number, the Requestor submits said Document Request Form to the appropriate Assistance Coordinator (with a copy to Mx. Fontaine in Filing).
- The Requestor then takes a second number from the Tier 2 Numeric Turn Dispenser and returns to the Waiting Area while their request is reviewed and the documents are retrieved.
- A comfortable Waiting Area
- Easily-accessible Forms, with clear and complete Instructions, for every type of Request and/or Voluntary Information Submittal
- Easily-accessible Directories, Indices, and Catalogues of all available Forms and Instructions
- Easily-accessible Number Dispensers for every service tier
- Clearly demarcated lines for the Assistance Coordinators’ Window queues, Numeric Turn Dispenser queues, and public restrooms
- Well-stocked vending machines in said Waiting Area
a) That the proper handling and preservation through observation of all Existential Records and any supplementary Documentation is the utmost priority of every GGAPExB employee and/or representative
b) That all Requestors shall be treated with professional civility
c) That all Document Requests shall be reviewed impartially, and, if qualified (as per Standard Request Approval Form 13b, Special Request Approval Form 58g, or, in certain cases, Highly Unusual Request Form 2), fulfilled efficiently, in the order in which they are received
d) That the microwave in Break Room 4 is not a toy
(Sections 4-1119, which summarize the various duties of each employee in each position, and how these tasks relate to the GGAPExB Mission Statement, are omitted here for brevity. Non-applicants can access these sections online or in person at the GGAPExB Main Building DownTown, by filling out Supplementary Employment Information Special Form 210: “Request for Executive Summary of Employee Duties in Relation to the GGAPExB Mission Statement.” Don’t forget to take a number. — GttG Ed)
1120) By initialing each point above and signing the full name below, the Applicant so affirms that, if hired, they shall uphold the Mission and Standards of the GGAPExB as stated. SIGNATURE: _______________________________________________ * Proof of existence is required of all persons wishing to obtain access to the GGAPExB Archives.
*leaves initials*
Excellent. Please proceed to the Yellow Queue, take a number from the Special Tier 9 (Internal Processing) Number Dispenser, and have a seat in the Waiting Area. A representative will call you in as soon as the Interview Committee has prepared Form 212d: Applicant Interaction Expository and Competency Evaluation.