Nicholas
Saint Nicholas Claus (a.k.a. Big Red, Kris Kringle, Santa Claus, The Scourge of Barrel's Bottom)
Known by many names, "Saint" Nicholas is a generally jolly man who loves pretty much everyone... until he doesn't.
Kris Kringle, Saint Nick, Santa Claus, and a slew of other names are just some of what he is known by. But one that isn't known to many is "Kringle - Scourge of Barrel's Bottom". For those he does not love, those who have earned his ire, there is no arguing, no refuge, and often no mercy.
On a lighter note, it is very easy to make friends with him, though it is a bit awkward if you consider that he sees you when you're sleeping and he knows when you're awake... just saying.
Physical Description
General Physical Condition
The fat Santa you know is a lie! That's his magical cookie-storage camouflage. Nobody can eat THAT many cookies, drink THAT much milk, and survive all of the unspeakable failures of baking attempts that have been made over the years without some sort of magic or poison immunity. (Yes, its been tried, at least 6 times, 4 of which were intentional, and yes, they ended up on the Naughty List .
True Santa is very likely scary for small children. He is muscular, from hammering and moving toys, elves, rustling reindeer, and kicking ass. He is also scarred, also from kicking ass and receiving a bit in return.
Body Features
Battle scars and tatoos of his most challenging conquests criss-cross his body in a tapestry of his battle-filled history.
Identifying Characteristics
...Even children can identify Santa... right?
Not when he's disabled his fat-camo they can't!
You looking for Santa? Look for the crossed candy cane tattoos on his back and the North Star tattoo on his left upper arm. If you're really in a pinch, ask him to take off his right boot and sock. Be on the lookout for 2 missing toes. There was a workshop accident back before safety standards were a thing. Little-known fact: This even led to the concept that founded OSHA and other workplace safety standards worldwide.
Steel-toed boots and elf-hard hats are now also requirements of the workshop.
Special abilities
- Can fly a magical sleigh - He was even issued a pilot's license in the US in 1927
- He isn't as heavily influenced by G-forces as most people, a result of some absurd sleigh-piloting
- Short-range teleportation - going down chimneys is fun and all, unless they are lit. Also, not all pets are friendly.
- Extremely high finger dexterity - from toy crafting and other activities
- Magical camouflage
- Can see through mid-level illusions and sense magical entities at range
Mental characteristics
Sexuality
Santa may be a saint, but he is the patron saint of prostitutes, and also sailors. He is VERY open-minded when it comes to preferences. It would be easiest to consider him "pansexual", but that is just the tip of the iceberg.
Education
He's had lifetimes to learn and try new things from toy-making to literal rocket science. He even tried his hand at brain surgery once... long story, for those curious, it worked and he saved a life.
He's knowledgeable , but he's had quite a while to become such.
Employment
- Leader of North Pole
- Leader of Polaris Incarnate
- Leader of Hunters of Borealis
- Bounty Hunter
- Santa Claus (paid in sweets)
- Pilot
Personality Characteristics
Motivation
Smiles. Santa lives, literally for and on, smiles and belief. Children, adults, and animals too. If he can do something simple to bring a smile, he will. It brings him joy and sustains his immortality.
He also hates tears in most cases, and since smiles generally stop unhappy tears, he'll go out of his way to return joy to somone's eyes.
Likes & Dislikes
Likes:
- Alcohol: particularly red wine, any whisky, spiced brandy of any sort
- Smoking: cigars mostly
- Hot chicken soup
- A hot bowl of chili
- Sex
- Making toys
- The smiles of children
- Justice
- Grandma's homemade cookies
- Taxes
- Police
- Tears of anyone he does not consider an enemy
- Arugula
- Cold Ramen
- Culinary atrocities that would put mosaic anime dishes to shame
Virtues & Personality perks
Per the name "Saint Nick", Nicholas is very kind and generally patient. He tries, and can, see the good in people. He deems most people as redeemable and he is obviously very charitable.
Vices & Personality flaws
Santa has seen a lot of messed up stuff in his day (which is honestly rather long anyway). He deals with it by staying just below the legal blood-alcohol levels in whatever place he is in at the moment. How does he remember? A tablet and about a few centuries of existence.
Also, since he generally deals with rather grateful prostitutes, he gets quite a bit of service "on the house", which may have also given him a minor addition to fornication as well, though pretty much anyone he interacts with regularly is happy to oblige. The song "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Clause" came from somewhere, after all. It has not been confirmed if he is the only thing Mariah Carey wants for Christmas.
Hygiene
St. Nick's hygiene runs the gambit from "clean as a whistle" to "something the cat definitely should've left outside". It varies due to circumstances. Not all bounties and denizens of the Naughty List give him a chance to worry about cleanliness.
All in all, he generally likes to try and stay clean.
Representation & Legacy
The big red man is everywhere, mostly due to corporate marketing and a certain soft drink bottling company. His attempts to live in obscurity failed decades ago for that reason.
He also managed to get himself banned from the former Soviet Union, but that's a story he'll never tell.
Social
Religious Views
He may be a saint, but he's an atheist. When you've seen the things he has, it's kind of hard to believe in any sort of gods.
He believes in 3 things:
- Cash
- Favors
- Strength
Divine Classification
Saint
Currently Boarded Vehicle
Spouses
Siblings
Children
Pronouns
He/him
Sex
Male
Gender
Male
Presentation
Masculine
Quotes & Catchphrases
- "Ho Ho Ho! (mother fucker)"
- "Santa Claus is coming to town" *cocks shotgun*
- That long spiel with all the reindeer's names
Owned Vehicles
Comments