"Mistakes" and sea of ideas

That blue figure spoke of my realization to my own "mistakes" , in my mind I reflected , the murky and the clear
I understand that I did nothing wrong ; but what is the weight that lingered in me? , it hurts and I depise this , why must I go through this "pain" I know entirely nothing about?.
However to the being that gave these visions I care not of ; I only carry some gratitude for it , for taking away this "unknown pain inside me" and the vast amount of knowledge now available to me .
Those with me are wasting their time on their internal struggles when rhys disappeared , surely she did what she wanted on her own choice.
I shouldn't care about it , I shouldn't feel anything about it , My work is what matters , If I falter for even a minute....... this world that has so many things that mean me harm , are going to extremely inconvenience me .