1. Are You Shore You Want to do That?

Recently I was hired as a guard for the Tidefall Festival. Unsurprisingly for an event in Apple Bay, it turned weird pretty quickly. After a little while in the town, we were asked to shovel dead fish down by the beach, which we did. Then... they started talking. One of the other guards was going to detain all of those who witnessed it, but a brute of a man scared him into staying. Following this we had a short investigation that turned up no new leads, during which the local bird population went nuts. I cleaved 5 of them with my sword. It was fun. Eventually they calmed down, and some weird chick tried to touch me. It's been a long time since I've felt the touch of a woman, but even I have standards.
Then, a chicken woman became worried about her eggs because of some commotion over near her farm. I'm not entirely sure why that was an issue, they weren't actually her eggs. Anyway, I ran forward and found there was an owlbear attacking the enclosure. Naturally I felt the urge to kick its sorry ass. I landed a few hits before anyone else in the rag tag group did anything useful, summoning that flumph thing that I d sometimes when I get into combat. Once it was dead, the chick from earlier, Karli or something showed up and got mad that we killed her owlbear. Somehow she then got more repulsive. A lot of the idiots nearby seemed scared of her, but I just went up and hit her. As I was doing this, she summoned some weird gnome dudes with knives. Idk how. Then they were stabbing everyone and shit. The chicken woman (she was literally a big chicken) fell unconscious outta the air for some reason. Birds, man, what can I say?
The seaweedy hag Kalissa or whatever tried to run away, but myself and several others landed some hits before she really got far. One of em did some weird magic crap but it didn't really seem to do anything if I'm being honest. He wasn't all that helpful. Eventually we beheaded her, and I figured out her scimitar was magic somehow. Although I haven't told anyone that yet. Then the Captain of the Guard showed up.