Sunrise

As I sit here, watching the sunrise over the rubble of the lower city. I'm finding it therapeutic to think over the events of the past night. Of the pile of corpses and red soaked cobblestones which now decorate the streets. At least their sacrifice was not in vain. Bingtown still stands because of them, because they laid down their lives for us.
 
I am astounded that we managed to hold back the onslaught. Stopping these creatures from getting their clutches on what they lost centuries ago. The crown of Vala. He even made the play for it himself, my arch nemesis, and now he's just a puff of smoke scattered with the wind. With his death a relief has washed over me, but a daunting realisation has taken its place. The fact that, maybe, I have taken after my dear old father after all. Despite my constant resistance to his teachings. I don't want to believe what Boneshaper said, that Alaric would even attempt to kill me, his only living son. But I have this nagging sensation at the back of my mind. It is very much like Alaric to use the invasion as a cover for this twisted plan. He'd milk the occasion for months. I just can't believe it, I don't want to. I need to know what reason the mad man concocted to convince himself of this. How he managed to justify it. Things really will never change.
 
I've always wanted to do good. Ever since I was a child I've wanted to help people. But, last night, I failed. Because of me, hundreds of Changelings met their end and the Hammers have fortified their power over this city. I don't know what came over me, a monstrous need for cruelty and devastation. I'm constantly trying, but no matter how hard I do I keep causing more pain. Although I won't stop trying, it's not in my nature.
 
Now that I've had a chance to sit and think, I realise how stupid I've been. The Hammers have used tonight to cover their plans. They've conquered Bingtown within eight hours, assassinating most of the major players in one fell swoop. I don't know who's hand this was, but, it has Eleanora written all over it. She has definitely taken after Alaric. Without Steelspine the Slayers is sure to fall, as is the Changelings and the City guard due to their serious loss in numbers. They've got every opportunity now to spread their influence with little resistance to stop them. I was most likely just a loose end that had to be cut. A stain to the Ordesza name. Well I will not be smeared so easily.
 
I've also been shown something. Another forced day dream, this time less agonising than the others. It showed me a smokey path trailing across the city. The dream flowed, following the trail to it's source. Flying sporadically across Bingtown, eventually leaving the safety of the walls. Through the wilds of the swamps and down a crack within the ground. An ominous voice calling out to me, beckoning me to him. I am ready. I thought that when this time came that I'd be scared or attempt to avoid it, but instead, I'm excited. Another step towards knowing what I am. I have given all my faith to him. To my master. He's proven himself to me, that he is better than any God I know of. Than Erathis.
 
As I sit here, watching the sunrise over the rubble of the lower city. I'm grateful that we are alive, that we live to fight another day. And fight we fucking shall.