Amorphophallus Titanium

by Arkadius Farcleaver-Hogg

Arkadius hadn't even unlocked the front door to Ffirst Airmail’s office before he felt the telltale tentative mental connection with Ida fully forming. You're back, was all Ida said as he stumbled through the door. "Yes, barely… Ugh. I'm not gonna be looking at plants the same way any time soon… They damned well nearly killed me. Though I did get this wand out of a kobold, so… Not all bad…"

A surprise meeting from Mathew led me to be spending a little more time than I had planned for in the Flourished Hook, waiting for people to be looking for him. People being adventurers for a quest, for which he'd asked me to take over the organizing and planning. And paying. I'd only met Onno once before, and it just so happened to be a very… humorous time for me, given that I adored every moment with Onno, his personality and demeanour. "I have been given a mission…" was his greeting, and straight away I knew it was going to be a pleasant day.

A few carrots, and a bottle of whiskey later, and a rag-tag bunch of adventurers… Sorry, a well-fitting coterie of adventurers did we make. Me, Onno, Wren, Bones, Mace and… Kegs? Cakes? Caex. Sure. The Flourished Hook happened to be closing for a private event, so the coterie travelled that night. I think I may have annoyed everyone by inventing a new whiskey song ("One bottle of whiskey in my bag, one bottle of whiskey! You take it out, and have a swig, and put the bottle of whiskey back in the bag!". Though it will show them when it wins loads of awards in years to come.

On reaching the bog and the swamp, it didn't take long for us to notice trouble, Caex wasn't wrong. There were dead things. With tracks that looked like all the snakes had crawled up into a ball together and… Am I misremembering this? Is this all in a different order? Oh well. It's my story, I'll tell it how I want. There were kobolds too! Oh yes, seven of the little blighters. All dead. And wearing her symbol. That made me annoyed. Wren, the City Guard whattymajig person cut off one of the symbols, saying the City Guard should be aware. Not sure if they'll be able to help, given… Well, her abilities. I will find her, one day.

We followed the trail, and apparently it went near Caex’s shack thing. I can't believe he lives out there. We stayed there for the night, and found Keith the next day.

Oh, I forgot to tell you about that. Keith is… This… Horse. With humps on his back. And the worst possible mood and temperament you can imagine. He definitely has the hump...s. With everyone. So, he was struggling in quicksand. I was immediately volunteered to fly over with rope to try and get that tied to him,so the strong people could pull him out. Yes,I could have used Mage Hand, I forgot all about it. You know how much I like to show off with my wings.

That's when, after a little while in a different clearing, we found another kobolds. Alive. I pointed a hand of fire in his direction, just to help… Keep the conversation civil. Long story short, stuff happened and we started fighting. He had the symbol of her too, so he had to go down ultimately. That's when the two massive flowers came out of the woodwork, and started being vicious. Last thing I remember is one of them taking offence to my use of fire, and coming along to absolutely throttle me.

The first thing I remember after that is them both being dead, and Mace saying something. The kobolds offered us a deal, and we found out they were… Oh yes, there were two of them. Not long before I collapsed, his brother cast a spell from the tree line. But yes they, the brother and sister, are the cousin of Khaosborn Cow-face, and said there were others who didn't see eye-to-eye. Not sure, they're all so small… Made a deal, let them go and got this pretty cool looking wand for letting them go. Might try to find them some time. Or others in the family...

So yeah, that was my day, how was yours being here all alone, mooching around the city like a cat? Hear any interesting gossip?

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The Incident: Part 1 of 4
25th of Tarsakh, 1483

The Incident: Part 2 of 4
26th of Tarsakh, 1483

The Incident: Part 3 of 4
27th of Tarsakh, 1483

The Incident: Part 4 of 4... for now
28th of Tarsakh, 1483

Bidding Farewell to Fallford
30th of Flamerule, 1484

What's an R between F(r)iends?
Midsummer, 1484

The First Sign of Power
16th of Eleint, 1484

The Path to Waterdeep
Various dates

Five Years of Waterdeep
Greengrass, 1492

The End of Life in Waterdeep
Greengrass, 1492

Return to Kundar
3rd of Flamerule, 1496

In the Shadow of Kundar
15th of Flamerule, 1496

Golden Hour
17th of Flamerule, 1496

A Simple Job
22nd of Flamerule, 1496

Reminiscing
13th of Elesias, 1496

The Old Temple
16th of Eleint, 1946

Case of the Still Missing Person
25th of Eleint, 1496

The Naming of the Weasel
28th of Uktar, 1496

Revisiting The Incident
30th of Uktar, 1496

Help Us Hope
1st of Nightal, 1496

The Reappearance of Alocasia Zebrina
14th of Nightal, 1496

Amorphophallus Titanium
8th of Hammer, 1497

Losing a Friend
9th of Hammer, 1497

Return of the Prince
30th of Hammer, 1497

Aerial Delving
3rd of Alturiak, 1497

What's in a Name?
10th of Alturiak, 1497

Hunting for Trouble
25th of Alturiak, 1497

Doing the Right Thing
14th of Ches, 1497

Here and Back Again
15th of Ches, 1497

The Sharp End
22nd of Ches, 1497

Triumph of the Vanguard
7th of Tarsahk, 1497

Pre-Birthday Shenanigans
30thnif Tarsakh, 1497

Amorphophallus Titanium

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