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A few tankards before the last thunderstorm I remember.

The Pint-Sized Paladin of Redglen (She wasn't a paladin. She was worse.)

by Stormsworn of Kord Thorek Bronzeboot

Inventory:
 

  • Ale (running low—not because I drank it, but because it was weaponized)

  • Coinpurse (lighter than my head after round six)

  • Pride (bruised, but structurally sound)

  • Respect for mortals with iron stomachs (newly acquired)

  • Hangover cure (see: divine intervention or another drink)

  • Boot (retrieved from rooftop—don’t ask)


    • Things I Am Definitely Not Journaling:
     
    Was challenged in a tavern outside Redglen by a barmaid named Mira. Said she could “outdrink any dwarf north of the Spine,” and she meant it. Thought I’d humor her. For Kord. For glory. For ale.
    Big mistake.
    By tankard three, I knew I was in trouble. By tankard five, I was praying mid-chug. By tankard eight, I thought I was Kord. She just kept grinning like the ale owed her money.
    I woke up on the roof. No memory of how I got there. One boot missing, beard braided into knots that spelled “loser” in Giant. (I only know because I insulted someone using the same word once.)
    Told Mira she had the strength of a storm and the grace of a lightning bolt through my liver. She called me “sweet.” Not sure if I’m insulted or in love.
    No smiting today. Only respect. And maybe a nap.
     
    This is NOT a journal.
    This is a written warning to future me: never trust anyone who can carry six mugs in one hand and remember what you said after round eight.

    Continue reading...

    1. Operational Log: Divine Logistics & Ale Priorities
      7th of Kythorn, in the season of thunder and bad decisions
    2. The Pint-Sized Paladin of Redglen (She wasn't a paladin. She was worse.)
      A few tankards before the last thunderstorm I remember.
    3. Supplies for a Divine Encounter (which was definitely not a religious awakening)
      4th Stormwane, Year of the Staggering Goat
    4. Catch Lightning, They Said…
      Last thunderstorm of Mirtul, give or take a dare and a lightning bolt
    5. THE GILDED DEBT & THE FOG THAT AIN’T WET
      First sober breeze of early Kythorn. Maybe.
    6. Downstairs Was a Mistake
      Second dawn of early Kythorn. Definitely hungover.
    7. Too Many Crates, Not Enough Ale
      Second dawn of early Kythorn
    8. Temple of Traps, Honey, and Poor Decisions
      Fifth-ish of Kythorn, after the bugs, before the bees.

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    by 3 Armored Kittens · Prodromos v.1.1 - World Anvil 0.9.15.045 © 2017-2025 [en] | Anvil Time: 21:29, Aug 9 2025