Supplies for a Divine Encounter (which was definitely not a religious awakening)

by Stormsworn of Kord Thorek Bronzeboot

Filed under: Post-storm inventory recovery and divine accident assessment

Inventory at the Time of Incident:

Ale (half a keg, two-thirds holy by then)

Salted pork (spoiled—might’ve attracted the lightning)

Cracked helmet (not from battle, from falling over laughing before the strike)

Holy symbol of Moradin (slightly melted, not returned)

One tent (in theory; reality said otherwise)

Jerky (still edible, not spiritual)

1 suspicious goat (don’t ask)

Zero umbrellas (never trusted them)

Items to Replace After Incident:

Boots (vaporized mid-sprint)

Beard braid rings (one embedded in a tree 40 ft away—impressive)

Map (now a very artistic ash smear)

Skepticism (no longer in stock)

THINGS I AM NOT JOURNALING:

It was supposed to be a hunting trip. Me, the lads, some smoked meat, and something to hit with a hammer. Clear skies when we left. Mostly. Maybe some rumbling.
They ran for shelter when the clouds came in. I stayed out, dared the storm to try me. Swore I heard someone laughing in the thunder.
Then it hit. A bolt right to the chest like the gods were playing darts and I’d mouthed off too loud. Heart stopped. Beard sizzled. For a second, I saw him—not with eyes, with something behind the ribs. Huge. Laughing. Loud as war drums. Offered me a drink or a challenge—I forget which, took both.
Woke up two days later in a crater full of steam and regret, holding a warhammer I didn’t own and a new sense of purpose I didn’t ask for. Still don’t know if I died or just got smited into a better version of myself.
Either way, I started shouting prayers and swinging the hammer after that. Kord hasn’t corrected me once.

This is NOT a journal.
This is a retroactive divine encounter log with attached restock notes. Totally normal.

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Downstairs Was a Mistake
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Too Many Crates, Not Enough Ale
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Temple of Traps, Honey, and Poor Decisions
Fifth-ish of Kythorn, after the bugs, before the bees.

Supplies for a Divine Encounter (which was definitely not a religious awakening)

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