Of the Search for Things that Burn, and the Search for Things to Burn

Of the Search for Things that Burn, and the Search for Things to Burn

OK, so when we last left off, we had just (barely) defeated one of those nasty frost-breathing, never-dying trolls. As we stood about in our various states of disarray and damage, we poked around for a bit and decided the Way To Stay Alive was to get anot...

07:03 pm - 05.12.2020

Well Slept at Embric's Hall

Well Slept at Embric's Hall

Of Long Rests That Really Aren't All That Restful

We resume our chronicles after another near-death experience with Things that Don't Die, wherein we had no option but to retreat and rest to heal and regain our spells. We decided the best space would be in the observatory, which was protected by stairs a...

01:51 am - 28.11.2020

Emric's Hall Hideout

Emric's Hall Hideout

Of Breaking and Entering, Obstinate Dwarves, Fighting Outside Our Element, and Pillow Fights with Critters that Don't Die.

We began our journey with an argument over the case of the missing chest. (Which may be magical, because despite leaving it locked up in the secret room, and taking care to lock up the keep, it apparently followed us here.) So be it, we stashed it careful...

07:30 pm - 19.11.2020

Cliff Face Landing

Cliff Face Landing

Of Moss Terrors, Monsters with One Body and Two Heads, and Monsters with One Head, but Two Bodies.

They say a rolling stone gathers no moss. Don't believe that shit. These mossy rock trolls rolled over us like, well, like two giant boulders. All through the battle, I kept thinking about Baric's eagerness to explore up here. "Let's go check out that ...

08:19 am - 12.11.2020

Killer Moss that Never Dies...

Killer Moss that Never Dies...

Saving Solomon

Saving Solomon

Of Tracking and Human Trafficking and Things That Never Die

We did a final(ish) sweep of Axeholm, finding one more odd item, a tripod that Baric says has some reality-distorting magic about it. During this time I had another dark episode; I blacked out for some period of time. Is there a connection to the magic of...

07:21 am - 05.11.2020

Addendum: Of Infinite Pools of Living Liquid, Dark Visions, And a Growing Fog of Evil

In the rush of daily violent activity, it is time to take a quick pause to share my increasingly difficult internal battles with darkness. As you all know, when fighting the oozes (oozi?) in the evil Dwarven Temple, one dropped on me in an especially drip...

08:09 pm - 02.11.2020

Of Saving Humans, Swatting Mosquitos, "I'm not Scared, You're Scared" game with Banshees, and Harbin Fucking Wester

As if things weren't nuts enough -- and they were -- we barely had time to heal up when an explosion rocked the whole underground fortress. We all looked concerned, but I paid special attention to see if the Dwarves had a "that was an odd phenomenon" conc...

04:15 pm - 29.10.2020

Out of Breath (cough cough) in Axeholm!

Out of Breath (cough cough) in Axeholm!

Of Saving Humans, Swatting Mosquitos, "I'm not Scared, You're Scared" game with Banshees, and Harbin Fucking Wester

As if things weren't nuts enough -- and they were -- we barely had time to heal up when an explosion rocked the whole underground fortress. We all looked concerned, but I paid special attention to see if the Dwarves had a "that was an odd phenomenon" conc...

05:45 am - 29.10.2020

Of Undead Hordes and Almost Dead Adventurers

We set about clearing the upper reaches of Axeholm. Our first discovery was that something(s) have dug rough tunnels into the fortress, on either side of the keep. Also, the tunnels reek of death and rotting corpses. Which might have been our first sign. ...

06:23 am - 22.10.2020

Inside Axeholm Fortress

Inside Axeholm Fortress

Of Scouting and Orcs and Scouting and Bears and Scouting and Giants and Scouting and Hobgoblins and Scouting and Goats and Scouting and Chimneys and Exploring and Spiders

Given the activity we saw of the scouting Hobgoblins when we first approached Axeholm, we decided to hike out a bit, find a protected dell or glen, and do a quick, simple scout of the entrance to Axeholm to assess relative orc activity there before going ...

06:07 am - 15.10.2020

Axeholm Ahoy!

Axeholm Ahoy!

Of Reckless Abandon, Reckless Endangerment, and some Very Fine Days in the Forests and Mountains

After clearing the first and second wave of the rat-men, we quickly took stock of our position. Me, down to 13 silvered arrows after recovering a few in the anteroom; Baric, down to a couple of spells, and Dash and Ozzie looking pretty battered. We talked...

06:43 pm - 13.10.2020

Gold Toe Mine step by step!

Gold Toe Mine step by step!

Gold Toe Mine step by step!

Of Information, Silver, and Revenge: Changing plans and getting our own back against the bitey creatures

Great news: The inspired decision to silver our weapons proved most effective against the bitey rat creatures. It felt good to do damage that, well, did damage. Today we killed by my count 8 of the foul creatures, and I am loving my new ability to target ...

06:35 am - 01.10.2020

Silver on My Mind

Silver on My Mind

Of Disaster and Running Away for a Second Time: a repeat tale of Best Laid Plans, Damage-Proof Critters, Repeated Failure, and Tucking of Tails

OK, so after our first failed encounter, we decided we'd try a new tactic: The party would all run in, grapple the nasties, and Baric would drop light bombs, magic swords, and death-bells on the critters. Meanwhile, we would try to drag them into the ligh...

06:18 pm - 16.09.2020

Loitering Mountain's Toe Gold Mine!

Loitering Mountain's Toe Gold Mine!

Of babysitting shithead uppity dicks and baffling failure against new Foes: Chapter Seven in the continuing saga of the Ruckus Crew

So our adventure begins and ends with babysitting. After clearing the orcs from the farm, we accompanied the Sheriff back to town. Fonzie is a dick, though I did cajole him into giving us some pointers on riding horses; I found out I can be sore in new an...

06:58 pm - 09.09.2020

Picking up the Pieces at Butterskull Ranch

Picking up the Pieces at Butterskull Ranch

Of Dragons and Dwarves and Destruction: Chapter 6 in the continuing True and Accurate Tales of the Band of Adventurers

Well, the rumors are true. Though we apparently missed it by a day, the fabled White Dragon finally made its appearance, tilting at windmills, but to devastating effect. Through a combination of great good fortune and good luck, Attabrah survived the atta...

10:10 pm - 04.09.2020

Living Large in Phanlyn

Living Large in Phanlyn

Of Supplieses and Surprises: Chapter 5 in the ongoing True and Accurate account of our band of brothers

For what seemed like a simple milk run, it wasn't a simple milk run. Killed my first Ankheg, which was an interesting creature, though also on the acidic side. Which, so far, seems to be a thing with monsters we run into. The trip to camp was largely u...

06:15 am - 26.08.2020

Naerwinter Forest

Ne'erwinter Forest

Ne'erwinter Forest

Of Running Away and Running Errands: Chapter Five in the only True and Accurate History of the Band of Adventurers.

Today, I didn't kill anything. Which seems to be an exception these days, which makes me sound a bit of a sociopath. But I'm killing for the greater good, so it's OK, right? So it goes. We pick up our story after a short rest following an epic battle w...

05:52 am - 19.08.2020

Of Running Away and Running Errands: Chapter Five in the only True and Accurate History of the Band of Adventurers. Today, I didn't kill anything. Which seems to be an exception these days, which makes me sound a bit of a sociopath. But I'm killing for the greater good, so it's OK, right? So it goes. We pick up our story after a short rest following an epic battle with the orcs in the Evil Dwarven temple. We looted the bodies, which is foul work with any creature, but especially foul with the stench of Orc blood in one's nostrils. Largely, they held little of value save the cruel greataxes they carried and the pointy sticks they threw at us. After securing the party, and securing the loot, we made plans to beat a retreat back to town, with Norbus and Tweedledum eagerly asking for safe passage with us. While the cleric set about throwing rocks at the dead orcs, enlisting the help of the rest of the party, I did some quick scouting back up the trail our new dwarfy friend arrived upon to get a sense of where the orcs came from, whether they were a scouting party, or a small group that simply broke off a larger horde. The path was easy to follow; heavy bootprints and a clumsy disregard for stealth marked the way. The orcs also left an easy trail. I was able to follow the track up-mountain, where I spotted several outpost orcs as well as several dozen orcs beyond them, gathered in what I was assuming was a camp. While tempted to either stealth past the guards to get a better sense of the group, or to shoot an outpost and hide, I felt the greater responsibility was to the party; I knew enough to bring back word of caution and haste, for I fear that this group would overwhelm our party, and fear as well that they are planning a raid that could unwittingly sweep us into its path. Also, at some point, I imagine they will be sending scouts out to look for the missing party members and I'd rather we weren't here when they found them. I returned with the news as Baric and Norbin were finishing their rituals, and the party gathered up to run away. With me as the scout and Blithe taking the rear to both watch for enemies and do her best to cover the infernal stomping tracks of the dwarves, we beat a careful retreat and avoided danger on our way back to town. We crossed Umbrage Hill as evening was rising on the second day, and stopped in to check on Attabrah Quinn. She was doing famously well, and it was a pleasure to be in her company. We did some small chores around the place such as we could in return for news, good cheer, and great food. We shared what we learned regarding the looming danger to the north, and my heart was heavy to leave her company was we headed into town the following day. We conducted our business, including meeting up with Harbin The Seldom Seen to get paid for our last job, and to check out the job board for other adventures that might be both interesting and of service to the town. Two jobs were posted -- the first would take us back north to Gnomenguard, wherein there is rumored to be a magical artifact that Harbin believes might be of use in fighting the dragon, and for which he was willing to exchange 50 gp. The second was delivering milk and eggs to his half-brother for 100gp. We chose the latter; we're not a proud group. Meanwhile, it is worth noting that Harbin appears to be deathly afraid of a white dragon that nobody has seen, but appeared casually disinterested in the rising horde of orcs just two days north of town. Apparently, the town has been regularly ransacked by the orcs before, and they just keep rebuilding it. "Everyone said I was daft to build a town so close to the orcs, but I built in all the same, just to show them. It got ransacked. So I built it again. And that one got ransacked. So I built a third. That burned down, fell over, and then got ransacked. But *this* town will stay up!" The locals seem to understand that Harbin has his oddities, but they seem to follow him just the same. And clearly, there is a connection between Harbin and the local bank. I suspect that when the town gets sacked, Harbin won't be around, and neither will all the gold. I need to dig deeper into the obvious corruption here, but I will need to be careful about it. Clearly, there's some graft, which is to be expected of nobles and human rulers. But the question of why he wouldn't be afraid of the orc horde is a damn mystery. I must find out if he or his family were town leaders when the town was last ransacked. When it comes down to it, who in the party could I trust to share my suspicions? The dwarves? Not until I know them way better. The cleric? Perhaps I could appeal to his sense of fairness, but he's a noble as well and he knows who butters his bread and who slaves to make the butter. At the moment, the only person I would trust would be Attabrah Quinn. I am anxious to stop back and check on her regardless after this delivery job. But I digress. We are currently en route to meet some ne'er do well in a logging camp in Winterwood. Tybor, I think his name was. Something about this job seems smarmy, but I can't put my finger on it. I know what was written on the manifest, but I wonder if there isn't something more we are transporting. Or perhaps there is a danger that we are as yet unawares. Or maybe both. My mind was troubled over all this but at the end of the day, I had a moment of joy as we came across a most remarkable boar. I was prepared to shoot it for dinner, but as I drew back my arrow, I noticed what I can only call a queer look in its eyes. A look of purpose, maybe, or understanding, or wisdom, or maybe even intelligence. It took off, and I instinctively went into hunter mode and gave chase -- not for the kill but for the curiosity of the beast. It eventually stopped near a thicket and turned to face me long enough to drop a quick Hunter's Mark on it to make it easier to track; something I should automatically have done right away. I tried soothing speech and tossed it the nearest food I had in my pouch to try and calm it, but it turned into the thicket and found some heavy underbrush to conceal itself. At this point, I just played the patience game. I was keen to give chase again, and in any other circumstances I would have eagerly given chase again. But the needs of the party weighed on me and after it was clear the beast was not coming back, or at least not soon, I returned to the group. I was chastised for my irresponsible behavior and recognize that running off without a lot of warning is not ideal party behavior and I was genuinely sorry about that. Noting that if that boar shows up again, I really, really want to figure out what's it's story is. I will, at the very least, do my best to mark this spot on the map and return to see if I can track it again. I must take a moment to see if I can find any unique characteristics about it's track that would allow me to identify it again.

On the march?

On the march?

Delving the Temple of the Faceless Lord

Delving the Temple of the Faceless Lord

Delving the Temple of the Faceless Lord

Of Dwarves and Orcs and Death and Arrows and Axes: Chapter 4 of The True and Accurate Version of the Continuing Adventures of the Ever-Evolving Party

Finally got the taste of Orc Blood. Not literally, of course. But it has been no secret that I have been longing for vengeance and retribution against these foul creatures and this morning I was finally rewarded with prey. I pinned six of the eight that c...

07:10 am - 13.08.2020

Of Dwarves and Orcs and Death and Arrows and Axes: Chapter 4 of The True and Accurate Version of the Continuing Adventures of the Ever-Evolving Party Finally got the taste of Orc Blood. Not literally, of course. But it has been no secret that I have been longing for vengeance and retribution against these foul creatures and this morning I was finally rewarded with prey. I pinned six of the eight that came at us with arrows, three of which were finishing blows. I long for more, and will entreat the party to scour the hills and woods around us to find where this group came from. Again, I start in the middle though and I will back up to the beginning to capture the entire episode. As you recall, we last left our story with a tale of slimes, and that is where we picked up again. After killing what we thought were all the oozy creatures, we encountered two more again, which we were able to dispatch relatively quickly with great good fortune. They still remain my least favorite enemy (so far) and are both unsettling and rather unsatisfying to kill. But kill them we did, and returned back to the front of the evil temple to let Norbin and Bedazzled know we've cleared the temple. For which they appeared grateful. After brief discussion with the two dwarves, we decided we were going to help desecrate (or bless, depending on your point of view) the temple, and do our best to fill it back in to prevent further evil from taking root here. Of note, we came across a glowing crescent in the main chamber, which I suggested the cleric blast with one of his light spells under the theory that "it can't hurt to try." Shortly after the spell hit, I was stricken with a sudden flash of pain to which I could find no explanation. So, under the theory that "it might hurt to try, but probably only the elf so what the hell" the cleric blasted the spot again, but no-one in the party suffered any ill effects. Odd. Norbin thought that maybe the symbol belonged to the "Faceless Lord," which is a logical conclusion since he also suggested early in our adventures that this was the temple of said evil dwarf god. (We all took it at face value, or at least outwardly did so. I still don't trust him completely and I am still damn curious about how the symbol suddenly appeared, after several days of searching that room carefully. I think there is a deeper mystery here but I will have to meditate on this a little longer. I will make an approximate drawing of the symbol and perhaps see if anyone in town could positively ID it.) At any rate, after the symbol-blasting, we set about knocking shit over, toppling statues, smashing whatever could be smashed, and pissing on the ruins. It was holy work. The party agreed to help Norbin and Dweezle move a bunch of rocks around to fill in the temple. (This whole chapter could be called "Excavating and then Anti-Excavating an Evil Temple," or perhaps "Let's Dig Up an Evil Temple -- No Wait, Shit! Shit! Bury It! Bury It!") For myself, I took to the woods to see if I could find suitable wood to fashion some new arrows to replace the ones that disintegrated in the slimes we killed while the rest moved rocks.) The rock-moving and the stick-finding were both moderately successful and we set down for an evening's rest, taking turns on watch. I was last up, and near dawn I could hear a commotion outside, and very quickly it became obvious the commotion was heading towards us. As I raised the alarm, I ran for the shadows in the back, ready to rain death upon whatever enemy came our way. As the group neared, I could make out someone yelling in Dwarvish, and the distinct guttural cry of Orcs in pursuit. The party reacted perfectly, with Blithe taking a flanking position to my left, and Ozzie and Baric taking a position on either side of the door. Nothing that we didn't want to come into the room was going to do so easily. A panting dwarf came bolting in first. (I'm not an expert in the language, but I believe he was yelling, "Help, help, a horrible heffalump!" My translation may be slightly off but I think that was the jist of it.) He was followed by a rain of javelins, several of which found their home in various party members, myself included. Fortunately, that also meant that the enemy were now well within my range, and I returned fire, hoping to take down as many as I could before they reached the door. As the initial onslaught came in, the orcs in front were quickly dispatched with a series of arrows, axes, and large sticks (Ozzie still swinging a modified tree branch to surprisingly good effect.) Ozzie became the preferred target, and Baric was right next to him, casting healing spells to keep him going. Our new dwarfy friend quickly turned and ran back into battle and proved a formidable foe, variously throwing sharp objects and then weilding two weapons, which, when they hit their target, did significant damage. I had to point out the value of using one of the orc's battleaxes versus the tree branch to Ozzie, and once he started swinging that around, he was taking out kneecaps left and right. A particularly large brute of an orc pushed through from behind and in one mighty blow slashed into Baric, who crumpled to the floor immediately. This was the point at which my bloodlust started to share some space in my head with concern, both for Baric and the party. The two dwarves in front closed ranks at the door, allowing Blithe and I to continue to shoot unabated from a distance. When the number of orcs standing were less than the number of us standing, my concern shifted from the immediate safety of the party to a fear that the remaining orcs would try to escape and I ran forward to ensure I would be hot on the trail if they did so. (Foolishly, I had forgotten to transfer my Hunters Mark from the first orc, and had they tried to run, I would have had to rely completely on my tracking skills. (Which, I am sure, would have been completely up to the task but nevertheless I kicked myself afterwards when I realized what I had failed to do.)) Fortunately, the last orc chose to die on the small pile of dead orcs we had created and I was able to staunch the would of the cleric, who was able to cast his blessings and quickly regain his feet. We paused for a rest and for introductions. Our new dwarfy friend is named Balderdash the Equivocal (I think that's right, but I may have translated the Dwarvish wrong again. According to his story, it sounds like he went off into the world to find adventure, and adventure found him first. At any rate, despite leading a horde of orcs into our den, he was pretty handy up front and seemed grateful for our help. That said, I wonder what it is about our party that seems to attract random dwarves. I mean, that's weird, right? Is this how all our adventures will go?

On Death and Dying and Evil Dwarven Oooze

By my count, I killed four oozes today. One killed me. So, interesting day. It is well known that orcs are my favorite enemy. (And while there have been rumors of them in the mountains, we have not run across any in our adventures yet.) With that as co...

06:03 am - 22.07.2020

On Death and Dying and Evil Dwarven Oooze By my count, I killed four oozes today. One killed me. So, interesting day. It is well known that orcs are my favorite enemy. (And while there have been rumors of them in the mountains, we have not run across any in our adventures yet.) With that as context, I would say that ooze is *not* my favorite enemy. It *is*, however, my least favorite enemy. Turns out they come in different colors and flavors, but they are still disgusting, and, as it turns out, literally deadly. But again, I start my story in the middle and I should start at the beginning: the party had a fairly long discussion around our purpose for this mission, and whether we wanted to continue at all, and if so, at what price. This led to a follow-up discussion with Bedazzle and Norbin, the latter of which turns out was the quiet leader all along. He was certainly quiet in our first encounter. And while it took some prodding (and a threat to leave the whole enterprise to these two clowns), they shared what their actual purpose was with the temple (to explore and cleanse it of some ancient evil) and intimated that it was part of a larger growing evil in the world. Which, you know, bodes ill for the world I suppose. They emphatically entreated us to hold that fact in closest confidence, which I will 100% honor. They also offered a pretty sizable gem in return for our services. Which we 100% accepted. With that new information I am upgrading my initial impression of them from clowns to Religious Zealot Clowns. But maybe at least they are RZCs with a higher purpose, which I could get behind. We spend an uneventful evening in which nothing happened but we all woke with the strange surety that some future evening is guaranteed to be eventful in a bad way. Weird. In the morning, we spent some time resting. Blithe went hunting for replacement pipes for the Wailing Octopus she carries around, I searched for suitable straight wood to fashion arrows (I was able to put only one together), Ozzie practiced holding a shield above his head, and Baric went trotting about with dwarf skulls to bury and bless. We returned to the temple and ran into more ooze/slime/jelly/whatever nasty creatures. Largely, their major damage heretofore was to our weapons, though Ozzie probably might take exception to that statement, because as it turns out, they are Actually Dangerous. But more on that later. I apparently have some latent skill at picking locks, and had great luck at figuring out the mechanisms behind the locks that allowed us to open the secret doors more elegantly than with clubs and pickaxes. I found the puzzle-solving aspect of lock picking to be greatly satisfying and I am going to have to see about getting some more formal training in this skill at some point in the future. In that category, we found and opened a secret compartment in a column that contained a lockbox with 15 gemstones, which was under about an equal amount of dwarf skulls that came falling out of the compartment when opened, bouncing about on the floor around us. Which is a startling thing to have rolling about your feet, for those uninitiated to the experience. I am starting to like each of my companions and cannot say enough how thankful I am for our resolute dwarf in front, who is bearing the brunt of the first attacks. He's a brick, despite the girlish shriek of surprise he gave out when one of those things dropped on his head. I considered teasing him about it, but I think there is probably a time and place for that, and it will be over beers together when we retell our tales, and not in the middle of an adventure. Perhaps someday I will compose the Tale of the Shrieking Dwarf. But he will be the hero of the tale. But, dear reader, you might forgive the shriek if you had one land on your head. Truth be told, I might have shrieked myself when one landed on my head, had it not knocked me unconscious. (Noting I was grievously struck by another one just prior.) At this point in the tale, attention turns to our second hero, the Priest of the Blinding Lights. Our cleric was dropping light-bombs left and right, to seemingly great effect against the slimes. He has also kept our dwarven friend going with occasional heals. But I owe him a great debt of gratitude after he healed what would have otherwise been a mortal wound. I may make a small donation to his church -- I think that might make him happy. Blithe and I are both Rangers, but definitely cut from different cloth. But I think we are working really well in partnership in flanking from behind and dealing out damage from a distance, which is the best place from which to deal out damage. (Except for that one time when I turned a corner so I could see what was attacking Ozzie and got killed. (I know, I know, my place is not in front. (But to be fair, this was the first time we were attacked by three together. (And apparently the two new ones that jumped me had a fancy for elves. (Speaking on behalf of my people, elves do not share that fancy with them.))))) That one case aside, Blithe and I did arrange a pretty workable solution that allowed us both to reasonably shoot down the same hallway. Noting that that solution also looked like an arrow that accidentally stuck the dwarf in the foot. At least she says it was accidental. It was probably accidental. Anyway, I can't wait until we get to work together in Not-A-Narrow-Hallway and rain a hail of arrows upon the heads of our distant enemies. Anyway, I guess near-death experiences makes one think about what one is thankful for. Today I am thankful for my compadres.

Dwarven Excavation Clearing (cont’d)

Dwarven Excavation Clearing (cont’d)

Dwarven Excavation Alert!

Dwarven Excavation Alert!

Killed my first slime. It was not a particularly satisfying kill. Maybe more panic and chaos than the usual quiet sneaking and hunting I am used to. Though maybe this is just the tables being turned -- they are doing the sneaking and hunting and, as it turns out, I strongly prefer to be on the other side of that equation. Also, they are sort of gross and, well, slimy. Also, acidic as an angry dwarf's tongue. I felt badly for the damage done to some of the party's weapons. (For the record, I also felt badly for the damage done to some of the party's parts.) I cannot tell if they have intelligence as such (the slimes, not the party members), but they sure as hell have sneaky instinct. If I didn't despise them, I think I might admire them (again, referring to the slimes, not the party members.) Also new and worth noting: fighting in hallways is harrowing, and also definitely not my preference, though it proved effective. (There was some grumbling about me shooting arrows in a hallway, which I suppose I get? That said, nobody seemed to mind the heavy weapons being swung about in close quarters, which, quite frankly, was way more frightening to me than a well-aimed shot, but what the hell do I know?) Our dwarf was a champ up in front, btw. Same for the cleric. I was somewhere between impressed and incredulous with our other ranger diving into the fray and -- I swear I am not making this up -- stabbing the fucking thing with her bagpipes. Maybe that's normal? But still worth noting: I think she's capable of literally anything -- there was a look in her eyes that told of a lack of reason and restraint. Dangerous and scary and sort of awesome and definitely not something I would want to be on the wrong side of. But I get ahead of myself. The trip started with another errand for Harbin the Seldom Seen. He had posted a request to warn some dwarven miners of the potential threat of the White Dragon, and inasmuch as our resolute dwarf Ozzie had just come from the hills, he was the perfect leader to bring us back to the hills. We set out on a North Southwest Northerly path with the Dwarf setting a decent, if noisy, pace. Even noting that he had just come from that direction, I was impressed with the absolute precision with which he brought us to the dwarven mine. I had always heard that dwarves were pretty useless with direction out of doors, and either that is untrue, or Ozzie is an exception. Or maybe we got lucky. Whichever, it was a quiet and pleasant journey and it felt good to be in the woods. We arrived at the mine (the name of which is "The Mines of the Dwarves" (which, as you'll see later was a seemingly obvious name but also super inaccurate)) and were met by two dwarves, Bedazzle and Norbus. Bedazzle was the most talkative of the two, though I would hardly call him garrulous. Nevertheless, we delivered the message, with Baric handling the business end of things with an aplomb I am coming to expect of him and appreciate. Meanwhile, apparently Ozzie knew these two clowns and was sent by them (or another party we don't know about) to see Attabra about getting some potions for this lot of dwarves. Inasmuch as that sounded like a previous agreement, I didn't object to his handing a potion over to them. That said, I didn't mention the second potion I had in my pack, which I suspect our party may need more than these dwarves. (Who, by the way, appear to be more casual campers than cave explorers. Literally, there was one room past their indoor campground that they had explored. One. Room. How long have they been there? They hadn't even noticed the secret doors. Of which there were many to find. They are either really stupid or really useless at mining/exploring. Or there's a deeper plot that I haven't uncovered as yet.) Speaking of which. Apparently when they say "Mines of the Dwarves" really it's more of an "Excavation of the Dwarves," or perhaps even more accurately, "Excavation of an Evil Temple of the Dwarves by the Dwarves," or more accurately still, "Plundering of an Evil Temple of the Dwarves by a Party the Dwarves Aren't Even Willing to Pay to Clear the Fucking Way for Them." That party would be us, dear reader, in case you were wondering. I thought it would be reasonable to ask for some promise of recompense to clear the temple for them. They thought it would be reasonable to give us fuck all and still have the temerity to ask us to clear it anyway. I feel like we are being given the shaft here (a mining pun!) but the party seemed ready to leap in nevertheless. I don't blame the cleric, who maybe is a little blinded by religion and The Inherent Goodness of People and all that rot, but I was surprised that the other two didn't raise a bigger stink. Especially the dwarf --what I know of Dwarves is that their hearts are guided somewhat by avarice; again, either that's a myth, or Ozzie is an exception to the rule. Or Ozzie is in on the cut with his friends and has a deal with them outside of the party. Which I really don't want to think is true, but it's a goddamn head-scratcher at the moment. Mines and caves and Secret Evil Underground Dwarven Temples are definitely not my natural habitat, btw, but I think I'm able to transfer some of my sneaking and observation skills to the enterprise. I'm glad I found the trick to opening the secret doors with a lever at least. The "Bash The Stone Door Until It Crumbles" method was mighty but damnably, painfully loud, and not my favorite way of approaching things. If anyone (or thing) wasn't aware we were coming for a visit, I suspect they are now. All that aside, I think we are forming as a party pretty well, and we seem to be developing a good sense of party order and roles. We're getting better in battles, and assuming we don't get ourselves killed, I like to think that we're going to be a pretty formidable group. And, all misgivings aside, I think I like this sorry, rag-tag, slightly unbalanced lot of folk. It sure the hell is an adventure. P.S. I must remember to ask the party about the Falcon Hunting Lodge, btw. I can't recall but I thought it was up this way? Near Norwegian Wood or something like that. I can't read whatever I scribbled down and probably I need to be better about paying attention to that sort of detail. Maybe I have the location confused, but if it's close, I'm wondering if it might be wise to just pop in and ask around a bit, let the dust settle in the Evil Temple, let the dwarves mumble over their dwindling food and fight their own goddamn slime for a bit, and see if maybe they think our services might be worth paying for if/when we come back. At the very least they can pay expenses and damages. We're gonna need a rack of weapons we can dispose of if we keep encountering those fucking slimes. That said, I think I recall someone saying that the lodge was frequented by nobles, so I may have to watch my back there and maybe go under a different name. I'm pretty far from home, but I don't know what sort of circles that lot runs in, and I'm far from popular with the jackass humans running the town outside our forest. Anyway. Sour grapes and all that, but I've learned to be paranoid for a damn good reason.

OF Dwarves and Underground Evil Temples and Slimes

Killed my first slime. It was not a particularly satisfying kill. Maybe more panic and chaos than the usual quiet sneaking and hunting I am used to. Though maybe this is just the tables being turned -- they are doing the sneaking and hunting and, as it tu...

06:53 am - 17.07.2020

Taking Umbrage with a Hill

Killed my first manticore. Which almost killed our noble cleric, who, nobly, ran out to attack it, and nobly, took a tail spike to the chest and fell over. The mage was muttering in the bushes and was pretty worthless as far as I can tell, while Blithe an...

04:58 am - 17.07.2020

Dwarven Excavation Alert!

Dwarven Excavation Alert!

Umbrage Hill: Rescue Adabra Gwynn

Killed my first manticore. Which almost killed our noble cleric, who, nobly, ran out to attack it, and nobly, took a tail spike to the chest and fell over. The mage was muttering in the bushes and was pretty worthless as far as I can tell, while Blithe and I alternately shot it with our arrows and, ignobly (but perhaps more wisely), ran away for cover for our next shot. A dwarf happened by who threw some sticks at the manticore, which was a nice gesture all things considered. Still not sure I trust him completely, but he threw in with our lot, and, frankly, we could use the extra muscle. And truly, he doesn't seem a bad sort per say; i'm just naturally distrustful. I don't distrust him more than usual, I guess. When all was said and done, the cleric managed to not quite die, and we did meet up with the quirky herbalist Attabra, who, after being rescued from the manticore (and, admittedly, giving the cleric a potion to get him on his feet), offered to sell us additional potions for... 50gp. Rescues don't pay like they used to. She elected to not come back to town, but the cleric did secure a note to that effect which we took back to the brave town master, and we got paid, so there's that. We did take the time to do some repairs to her house so she would be that little bit safer, but it wouldn't withstand any real onslaught. Maybe she can throw a potion and some herbs at the next raiding monster. I'm probably being too critical, and in the end, she *did* give us a couple healing potions, which was appreciated. She's close enough to town that I might just sneak over there from time to time to make sure I don't see evidence of anything prowling around the area. We managed to salvage some bits off the manticore, including a wing which I'd really like to fashion into a cloak for Blithe, time and skill permitting. I've heard that it may hold some properties that would make it more useful than just something to shed water. I want to research that more. Back in town, the cleric busied himself with various religious recruiting while he healed, and I fletched a couple arrows to replenish the quiver and tended to the hide from the wing so it won't rot. The party is agreed to take on the next job for the town master, which will be a return back to the mining community the dwarf just came from. Of note, there are rumors of orc raids from the mountain in that area, and secretly I am hoping we come upon them when we are in the area. Suppose you gotta be careful what you wish for, but there it is. Also worth noting that Attabra's explanation of why the Manticore ventured this far out of the wild may lend credence to the idea of a dragon in the area. I will be watching the skies.

Umbrage Hill: Rescue Adabra Gwynn

PIE “Grip of Madness” Kickoff

PIE “Grip of Madness” Kickoff

PIE “Grip of Madness” Kickoff

Dry Run PIE (Pandemic Isolation Escape) Mini Session

Dry Run PIE (Pandemic Isolation Escape) Mini Session