Track-'em-down's
Track-'em-down's is a charitable detective bureau on Level 5. The organization specializes in locating fellow deceased family members of mortal souls scattered throughout the first 8 levels of the Hells. The service is offered free of charge to qualifying petitioners, and its operations are funded entirely through charitable donations and bureaucratic loopholes.
The bureau was founded by and remains under the direct management of Throckendoans, an egoferox superbiari demon. Like many superbiari, he has an intense sense of pride and a need for recognition, which he weaponizes into a force that solves the unsolvable. Since pride directly feeds suberbiari, this allows him to run Track-'em-down's efficiently at minimal cost, provided he is being praised for his work.
Track-'em-down’s is named after its founder. Using his self-proclaimed superb genius, he took the sound of his own name and turned it into something that sounded vaguely detective-like.
The organization employs a number of souls and demons, most of which are volunteers. Or "volunteered". These are usually working archives, as secretaries, or stand on corners picking up rumors. Importantly, none are given recognition for the work they do, in fear that Throckendoans might feel the tiniest sliver of invalidation.
People seeking aid must submit a groveling form in triplicate, with signatures from at least one employee of the Infernal Bureaucracy. Applications are reviewed by junior clerks before being passed on to Throckendoans for personal approval. Priority is given to cases likely to generate dramatic reunions or public acclaim. Petitioners who express extravagant gratitude in their paperwork are statistically more likely to receive a response. At the very least, these conditions must be met, as per the bureau's own guidelines:
- The individual being sought must have been a resident of the Hells for no less than one year (exceptions occasionally granted for cases expected to yield high praise).
- Petitioners must demonstrate that standard infernal channels (e.g., the Census) have failed to provide results.
- Petitioners are required to provide sworn statements of gratitude and public acknowledgement of Throckendoans’ efforts, both before and after services are rendered.
- Applications with suspected ulterior motives (e.g., attempts to reunite criminal conspiracies, circumvent official punishments, or generate rival praise) are routinely denied.
Comments
Author's Notes
Another down! Spent a little less time on graphics, but man, I'm really pleased with the IMPACT of this logo. I think personally I nailed "obnoxious 90s" in this one, which is everything Level 5 is about. I'll probably expand it in the future with notable cases and such, but this is it for summer camp.