The poor man's sandwich

Hoi Chummers, your friendly neighborhood street preacher here. Please hold your fire, don't shoot the messenger. As you know, I take confessions in the broke down van in the burned out church parking lot. Some of you have mentioned a few concerning things. Now I understand that it is hard when your neighbor's of coworker's sandwich is something that does not smell very nice.  It is understood that everyone has different tastes and preferences. There is also what you can or cannot afford. But please when you're in an enclosed space like your little coffin capsule flat, or in your allocated four square feet of work space at the corporate factory, please think of others. Often your food offends others when you make it out of something that is a bit rank or rancid. So for you, I spent the day in the old paper library and dug up these Great Depression, whatever that was, era cookbook. Perhaps these won't stink your coworkers out of their work space.   Listen up, these sandwiches, the names are listed with like the real ingredients. So for some of them, I will list the substitute that our kind can afford and maybe even find in the neighborhood Stuffer Shack.  

• Lard and Salt: Take your congealed cooking grease, spread it on your ersatz bread, sprinkle salt.
• Butter and Sugar: Use your Stuffer Shack squeezable butter sauce on your bread, sprinkle your artificial sweetener on top. Toasting with artificial cinnamon is optional.
• Raw Onion and Mustard: You can find wild onion growing in the pavement cracks if you look for them. Slice them thin, place on bread, top with imitation mustard.
• Cold Hot Dog and Ketchup: You can pick up the discarded soy hot dogs from the bin behind the Stuffer Shack, plop on bread, add ketchup substitute number twenty-two.
• Mashed Potato: It is what it sounds like, take your imitation potato flakes, mix with water, preferrably hot if you have it rationed, glop on bread and enjoy.
• Sardines and Mayonnaise: Take your vat grown clonal sardines, smash and mix with mayonnaise paste.
• Apple and Mayonnaise: Moisten your dehydrated apples, smear with mayonnaise paste and dig in.
• Fried Bologna and Mustard: On your way to work cook your mystery meat bologna by placing it back seat of the local bus, the overheating engine will cook it nice. Cover with mustard.
• Peanut Butter and Pickle: Use Plumpy'Nut and Stuffer Shack pickles number four.
• Ketchup Sandwich: Choose your favorite ketchup substitute, any will do, it will cover the taste of your ersatz bread.
• Tomato and Mayonnaise: You're lucky if you can get a real tomato, being they run on average 22 Nuyen each. Otherwise use one of the vat grown varieties and mayonnaise substitute.
• Banana and Mayonnaise: You might find bananas growing along the shore. Hooray for global warming. 
• Cabbage and Mustard: Wild cabbage can be found growing in the pavement cracks and empty lots.
• Spaghetti Sandwich: Visit a local school. The kids won't eat, but you can.
• Oatmeal Patty: Mix your oats, whatever they may be with some kind of flour, any bits and bobs and a binder. Fry up in grease or bake under your solar mirror. They go a long way.

  Now I hope this helps prevent problems with your neighbors and coworkers. We can all agree that no one likes the stench of cooked rats, cats, dogs or pigeons.