Gramma Dot's Many Sayings

As a pillar of the community for nearly a century, Gramma Dot has had more cumulative influence on Red Oak Ridge's culture than anyone else in the town's history. Never one to shy away from speaking her mind, nor to fully adopt the current slang, Dot freely mixes metaphors, twists idioms, and bends rhymes beyond their breaking point in order to deliver her (always strong) feelings on any subject. Over the decades, some of these twisted turns of phrase have caught on and become references and idioms throughout the town. Each year, something new enters the town's lexicon, sometimes even supplanting more mainstream slang, leaving outsiders to scratch their heads.

Examples

• Slap the warts off a toad: very bitter, strongly alcoholic, or a string of particularly nasty insults
• Two legs doing a four leg trick: usually muttered to oneself when seeing something that makes the person uneasy, especially if alone near the edge of the woods or at night.
• Handy as a twisty-cat: something that is obviously bad or poorly thought out to everyone except the person involved
• When you hear the bread crust break, it's already too late: when someone has overstayed their welcome, but it is too late to politely ask them to leave without it causing a scene
• Thick as the Red Roof: boneheaded, sturdy but useless. So called for the canopy of the Red Roof Outpost, a convenience store that did not last long in Dot's teenage years. The structure had not been built to code, and it was too heavy for its own supports. It collapsed, destroying several of the vehicles it was advertised to protect.