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Dondregh

My love, hear me, I will defeat one such creature— for if I cannot, our love was never truly meant to be.
— A perished lover

Dondreghs are fearsome monsters that reside within the peaks of Nipinoul, making the Gokh who live within them their frequent prey.

Appearance

Each appears as an emaciated human torso, covered in frostbitten skin. A round segment of its chest— where one would expect its heart to lie— is caved in, as if its heart had been scooped out by something more powerful. One will be quick to note that it lacks arms— at least, arms connected to its shoulders, as it walks on a set of three muscular arms attached to its torso in place of legs. Attached to each of these arms is a human hand with elongated fingers, the skin of each calloused on the bottom to allow for greater grip on the precipitous grounds they tend to inhabit.

Dohn-drehg

Habitat & Rest

Dondreghs are most common within the snow-capped peaks of Nipinoul: The Great Spine, though there have been reported sightings of them among other mountain ranges throughout Qet. Dondreghs bury themselves in snow to rest, doing so intermittently, whenever they cannot sense prey nearby.

Genetic Ancestor(s)

Monsters

Average Height

4'11"

Average Weight

107lbs

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Entry for Worldbuilding Summer Camp 2020

Answering: "Write about an apex predator in your world. How does it hunt and survive?"

Visit Incaseofgrace's Competition Page Check all other answers to this prompt Competition Homepage

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Species

World

Qet

Author's Notes

Feedback is very much welcome! Whether on the content, or the formatting! Please, point out typos if you spot any!

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Sodose

Jul 4, 2020 03:21

I made the horrible mistake of reading this before going to sleep. I love you vivid description and blood curdling use of detail.

Incaseofgrace

Jul 4, 2020 06:04 by Grace Gittel Lewis

Thank you! Hopefully the nightmares have something interesting in them, at least!

Sage Tris

Jul 4, 2020 05:12 by Tris (necromancertris)

This is magnificently creepy! I'm so glad there are no pictures of them xD

Incaseofgrace

Jul 4, 2020 06:04 by Grace Gittel Lewis

Thanks! For now, at least— I may draw one after summer camp.

Councilor of the Inner Sanctum Serukis

Jul 5, 2020 11:32 by Dr Emily Vair-Turnbull

Well this is creepy and disturbing. I really enjoyed the section about how clans will use the dondregh as a way to decline marriage proposals. That's such a clever detail and really brings the world to life.

Emy x
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Incaseofgrace

Jul 5, 2020 17:05 by Grace Gittel Lewis

Thank you! Believe it or not, the whole marriage trial came first! I had alluded to dondregh in the Gokh article's section on relationships— though the whole subtle-but-not-really-subtle denial thing is new here.

Eternal Grandmaster Kros!

Jul 6, 2020 03:30 by Simo

This is all kinds of creepy. The mouth description is something that will likely haunt my dreams, what a "polite" way for declining a suitor, indeed!

Incaseofgrace

Jul 6, 2020 17:29 by Grace Gittel Lewis

Thank you! Hey, it removes the awkwardness of saying no at least.

Councilor of the Inner Sanctum RPGDinosaurBob

Jul 6, 2020 03:43 by Bob O'Brien

Really creepy description - which is to say a really good description of a really frightening apex predator. And I really like the idea that hunting and killing one of these is a "proof of worthiness" pre-marital test. But it also raises a question. If they are a "common target" for these hunts, this would imply there are a bunch of these things around. And that, in turn, suggests that something must be known about their lairs, mating behavior, and possibly even growth/lifecycle. A bit of this info could be interesting. You might want to rework the very first sentence though. I'm certain you mean that both Dondreghs and Gokh live "within the peaks of Nipinoul", but it is possible to read your words as "Dondreghs prey upon the Gokh who live within them" (which would be a really strange parasitic / symbiotic relationship). Dondreghs are fearsome monsters that reside within the peaks of Nipinoul, making the Gokh who live within them their frequent prey.

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Incaseofgrace

Jul 6, 2020 17:39 by Grace Gittel Lewis

I didn't go into it in this article, as this is explained in Monsters— how they reproduce and grow is already known, as all monsters do so the same way. Reproduction is by a sort of division— the monster splits to create new monsters, which arrive fully grown. Each grows in power the more they eat, but don't have a physical growth cycle— they are effectively immortal. Lairs I could probably add something about here though, thanks! Yeah, I can see that! I'll think about that— personally I think the sentence is fine but you are right, it can be misread. Thanks again!

Grandmaster HuginRonin

Jul 6, 2020 08:53 by Juan Belío

I did not read the introduction and the whole body horror stuff caught me off guard. I'm not normally one to be scared. but this was certainly unsettling. The arms from the torso? Kind of funny. The fingers in the mouth? Nightmare fuel. Very cool and inspired design and I like that it's a testament of love like the classical kill dragon,but much more disgusting. Also, I wholeheartedly love your organization and design, the native and mesoamerican style, alongside with the color palette (even if it's a bit happy for what you're explaining) make for a wonderful atmosphere

Incaseofgrace

Jul 6, 2020 17:39 by Grace Gittel Lewis

Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it!

Eternal Sage kitoypoy

Jul 6, 2020 13:31 by Chris L

Okay, this thing is horrifying. I really liked this article. So if the task of killing one is given to a-hole suitors, what happens when said a-hole suitor actually brings a dead dondregh back? Is that a sign of worthiness, or does the lover's clan go "Oh no, now we have to follow through with a wedding? Crap!"

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Incaseofgrace

Jul 6, 2020 17:41 by Grace Gittel Lewis

It's only the "do it barehanded, alone" bit that is used on undesirables— otherwise it is still a common target for good and bad suitors alike! For those who go alone and survive? That's an impressive feat, though how the clan reacts to it would vary. Some may gracefully accept what has happened, others may allow the marriage begrudgingly— some may attempt to kill them before it can happen.

Sage Dylonishere123

Jul 14, 2020 19:18 by R. Dylon Elder

I experience such joy when finding writing that's actually chilling, and that's not just a pun. I really liked how you slowly build the visuals of the creature. I pictured seeing in a blizzard perhaps, each detail outlined more as it nears a kill. It's almost like a buildup of tension on its own. Excellent work. So as an apex predator, it seems so inspired. I don't know if you intended it ir if it was a source of inspiration but good god. The use of magic as kind of a venom? Lots of predators have it, and it slows the prey down, much like these fine beasties. This is the first time I've though of ngfinding evolutionary traits that could develop in fauna within a magical world. That's glorious man. fine work. I also like how its unique in attracting its prey, using the fingers to mimic fire. That's special and so beyond the classic "looks like a naked woman" cliche. Love it! On to the next!

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Incaseofgrace

Jul 14, 2020 21:37 by Grace Gittel Lewis

Are you sure it's not a pun? Thank you! I've had these guys in idea form for a while now, but they were only "fearsome" and I knew they were hunted for marriage.

Sage Dylonishere123

Jul 14, 2020 22:01 by R. Dylon Elder

Ok just a little bit, but truely if they started fearsome, They leveled up... oof. Love that tradition as well. Kind of intense lol

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Dondregh

Appearance

Dohn-drehg

Habitat & Rest

Entry for Worldbuilding Summer Camp 2020

Guild Feature

Comments

Author's Notes