Pain-a? See-ya! Spot Transcript

HEY EVERYBODY!   Borden Mayhew here! I’m back to tell you about Pain-a? See-ya!, the fix-all that just won’t quit. No more hunting for ingredients for home remedies or any sticky poultices - Pain-a? See-ya! is a light and refreshing drink you can enjoy on a hot summer day, or you can pour it into a mug and warm it up over the stove for a delicious alternative to coffee on a cold morning.   And not only is it good tasting, it’s good for you! It’ll fix cuts, scrapes, bumps, bruises, broken bones, AND ingrown nails. It’ll take care of aches! Pains! Sickness! Poison! And even those pesky curses spirits like to leave. All while rehydrating you after a busy day of dodging monsters or tending fields.   All that in one can, and for the same price the wise woman down the road will sell you bitter tonics that just don’t cut it! And for the people who need a little extra oomph, there’s stronger versions - Pain-a? See-ya! Plus, Pain-a? See-ya! Super, and Pain-a? See-ya! Ultimate. Still not enough? Try Pain-a? See-ya! MAX and set the can down a new person! Don’t like Cola? Try it in Cherry, Orange, Blackberry, Vanilla, Grape, Strawberry, and more! They taste great mixed with each other, or even watered down if you want to savor it all day!   BUT I’M NOT DONE YET! You can use it for cleaning! It cuts right down to where the dirt holds on and pulls it out of cloth like it was yesterday’s trash. Put it in food! It’ll make your bread and cakes sweet and fluffy without all the hassle of prep-work! Put it in your engine! It’ll bring that machine back to life by clearing out gunk and breathing life into dying parts.   Go pick one up from your local sparky merchant! Go now! Run, don’t walk, or you might just miss out! While supplies last. And if you tell them Borden sent you, I’ll guarantee you a FREE CAN! That’s right, if you go RIGHT NOW and use my name, you’ll get two cans for the price of one!   Pain-a? See-ya! is intended for consumption only. Do not use Pain-a? See-ya! for unintended purposes, such as a cleaning agent, fuel additive, dye, or lubricant. Mayday Station takes no responsibility for damage or harm incurred as a result of negligent use of Pain-a? See-ya!. Pain-a? See-ya! is not a dietary replacement - continue to eat nutritionally balanced meals. It is not a replacement for proper health care - in an emergency, seek professional medical attention. Mayday Station is an affiliated sponsor of Pain-a? See-ya!. For additional inquiries, do not contact Mayday Station.   Pain-a? See-ya! The fix-all that just won’t quit! Get yours today!