Creative Practice Day 41

Something to look for something to reach out to something as simple as make believe with friends in a basement is enough to give me whatever it is I needed for a rallying in my mind Others being excited for time spent with me together with other friends a reciprocal bond of affection and joy anticipation and excitement for something as trite as a game changed my whole attitude or I let it change me
  I've been sitting with that
  letting something change you not wrenching your own spirit into shape by force of will fueled by perfectionism and self hatred (which are the same ugly face in a different hat) but like water over stones even in a tiny mountain stream all the stones are eventually smooth what is it like to try and change like that in life? can it even work? how do I measure progress? when will I know? Am I just lazy? slacking off? completely faking it? or is there some power behind moving in season letting something wash over you until the hard outer surface is gone and it is spring again