Grilleton

The demographics of Grillton are actually rather unique and diverse given its nature as a trash heap for the discarded and broken mortal figures that dot its strange and ominous streets and houses. Humans, tieflings, aasimar, dwarves, and more. Any form that Tysar found met his fancy he would experiment on.

Grillton basically has no functional government due to the subdued and controlled nature that all of the residents are kept in and as a form of a prison essentially, governance is not anything anyone actually needs to be concerned about. Although to the residents of Grillton, they sure do have a slap-dang great set of people leading their happy little town, with the now Mayor Bacon who has promised an agenda in his indecillion year term of happiness, whimsy, and a return to Grilleton's most cherished aspects. Such as avoiding the Pink Fog! Praising The Hall of Jollification! And much more!

Grilleton is a pretty average town regarding compared to other towns in Meria and Edrias. Due to its unique nature, its infrastructure is upkept by hallucinating residents who believe they are performing normal jobs, plumbing, energy, cleaning the streets, repairmen, construction workers, and more. All see themselves as average, every day white picket, Harbinger-fearing family men and women. As such, the town is actually rather impressively well kempt.

Grilleton doesn't necessarily have districts as a tradiational Imperial City does, as prescribing by the conditions outlined by the Prime Minister of Government's standardized traditions for what constitutes, normally, an average Imperial town or city. It is a facade of a town that has not registered its charter or tried to register one ever since it had gone off the map roughly a decade ago, which could be completely explained regarding the fact that The Assembly has large influence over regulatory and governmental bodies given its immense power and control that individual Inquisitors have by themselves when they reach a certain rank.   Despite this, Grilleton does have a large range of diverse and unique attractions that surely will drawn in immense amounts of tourists, hopefully sooner, rather than later so they can view the glory that is the perfect and amazing constructs of Grilleton.

DATAPOINT RESTRICTED... RELEASED... IMPERIAL DISPOSAL GUILD AGENT 'FLAPJACK' RECOGNIZED. DISPLAYING JOLLIFUL POINTS OF INTEREST IN DETAINMENT FACILITY OMICRUS TYRUX 33-SERAPHI (GRILLETON), DESIGNATED AS SUCH BY ONE INQUSITOR COMMANDER TYSAR RODE (MIA). RESTRICTED INFORMATION - SHARE ONLY WITH IDG MEMBERS OR ASSEMBLY AGENTS OF INQUISITOR OR ABOVE, LACK OF FAITH AND PRESERVATION OF THESE TENETS AND RULES IS TO SUBJECT ONESELF TO BIOLOGAL DISSEMINATION VIA HATE MOBS (BREAKFASTING), HYPERCRURAL THIGH EXPLOSION MEGADEATH, AND MORE TORTURE METHODS.    

The Hall of Jollification. The Hall of Jollification is Grilleton’s very own game hall! Look for the large ovoid building hewn of glistening star marble at the center of town (visitors often mistake it for Meria’s Biggest Egg hee hee). Prepare your belly for endless chortles at its Jolifier Casino, and try the special Laughing Bisque at the attached restaurant! Visitors are advised to stay away from the inner shell, unfortunately, as that’s for residents only.

Grilleton Grill. Check out where it all began at Grilleton Grill! Grilleton Grill was the first restaurant in Grilleton, founded by Chef Sunnyside himself. All of our townsfolk love this place, and you will too, since Grilleton Grill possesses the only inn for visitors that we have!  

Echo Lake. A lake of the only non-pink water in Grilleton! No matter how much rain goes into this thing, Echo Lake always comes back silvery and reflective thanks to its unique mineral composite which boasts curative properties! Popular treasure hunting spot for residents at night, you never know what you might fish up from Echo Lake.

Batrachian Gardens. The Batrachian Gardens are home to the famous Dire Frogs of Grilleton, residents frequently hunt here to obtain the giant frog legs we use for some of our local soups. Twice a year, when the Dire Frog population spikes, our esteemed Mayor Bacon hosts a hunting contest for the most Dire Frogs killed!

Meria's Biggest Egg. A giant egg at the edge of town, after which the Hall of Jollification is designed. No one knows what kind of creature it’s for, but sometimes you can hear it inside if you press your ear to the shell! Fun for the whole family!

The Unseen Parade. After Pink Fog rolls through, Mayor Bacon sends his army of invisible servitors to clean up the streets! We call this the Unseen parade, and it’s a blast to watch from indoors! Please don’t go outside when this is happening, no one can guarantee your safety.

DELIVERING INFORMATION... MANA AETHER-ELECTRO WIRELESS SPARK BURST INCOMING... LISTING RECOMMENDED RULES TO SURVIVE GRILLETON IF INFILTRATION NECESSARY. ALERT. ALERT. ALERT. FOLLOW AT ALL TIMES. IDG AGENTS, ASSEMBLY AGENTS, IMPERIAL FORCES, IMMORTALS, AND EVEN THE GOD EMPEROR HIMSELF WILL NOT SAVE YOU FROM THAT PLACE, OH FORMER RESIDENT MINE. TRANSMISSION IS AS FOLLOWS:   Tourists are certainly welcome inside the happy, jolliful streets and halls of Grilleton and its wonderful residents who only know joy and happiness in their ever so lucky to be had lives. One must simply follow these core rules when visiting Grilleton so as to have the just darndest, dandiest little visit possible. Read carefully!   1. Salutations are displayed on a large sign at the town’s entrance. The crude facsimile of a smile at the end “:D” appears to possess a minor memetic trigger which inoculates an unprepared visitor towards instinctual doubt and self reference that might turn them in the other direction.   2. After completing his sacred service towards the Harbinger, an elven Chef by the name of Kindroth took the name “Sunnyside” and led a cannibalistic cult dedicated to eating the hatred from the hearts of men into the countryside prior to mass super execution during the event. Assembly agents have since repurposed the town into its current state, though some of its roots still remain.   3. The pink fog and rain are the result of run-off amnestics, hallucinogens, and mutagens that have been made into an anomalously self-propagating hydrologic cycle that has seeped into all aspects of the Grilleton water supply. Its fog form is considered much more dangerous by inhabitants due to local astral entities and spiritual parasites known to hide within it. Exposure without protection results in memory fugue, loss of identity, time dilation, degloving, sudden onset ocular explosion, intense hunger pangs, tooth growth, rapid aging, rapid deaging, total replacement of the soul, etc. Additional side effects can be found in studies Alpha-Six-Nine and Beta-Four-Two.   3a. Residents will sometimes distill the fog into a drug called “Scramble Salts” that act as a potent hallucinogenic. Do NOT imbibe if offered.   4. Grilleton is considered a high clearance prison and security checkpoint, and follows inquisitorial entry/exit protocol. Turning around can get you shot by the “Halos”, see 5.   5. Grilleton Halos are alchemically mass produced biomechanical homunculi in the shape of balloons. They’re made to track and report on people entering or exiting Grilton, and have a crude form of psychic communication with several designated sensors scattered throughout Grilton that records what they see. Halos are alive, and actually sapient, but they are enslaved from birth and in constant pain throughout their short lives.   Their bodies possess a special bio-accelerator/rifle organ that they use to snipe down fleeing prisoners and suspicious oncomers, but the bullets double as eggs that convert the corpse of those they kill into more of their kind. According to our research, shooting someone gives the Halos a dopamine release, and it is one of the few joys they have while they float through the sky.   6. Word of warning to spend no more than half an hour in this Hall, and to avoid its anomalous “Attendants” at all costs. Attendants can be sorted from ordinary residents by their overly large mouths and lack of the menus that residents seem to carry around. DO NOT let them guide you into the inner shell, because they will say anything and everything to guide you there, and no Inquisitorial Agent has returned from the inner shell. See study Sigma-Four-Seven for known findings.   7. Echo Lake does not possess curative properties-- do not believe locals who ask if you want to take a dip to soothe any old injuries. During the night, the part of the lake which reflects the moon in its metallic surface becomes a portal to the Ethereal Plane. This is where the spiritual parasites and astral entities (as well as some other anomalous forces) that are part of the local metaphysical ecosystem escape from and to.   8. Not a dragon. Whatever it is, it’s very, very big, and was left by one of the creatures to come through Echo Lake many years ago.