Consultium

Consultium is a thick, gelatinous mass left behind by human-shaped parasites called 'consultants'. These abominations infect corporations (good so far) and drain them of money by making suggestions that are either obvious, stupid, or both. For whatever reason, management are thrilled to pay the consultants enormous amounts of money for ideas like "what it we turned the logo around?" or "we should rename ourselves Monday; even and especially if regular employees have already made these suggestions. Once they've consumed all hope and money they can (called "a contract"), the consultants will deposite the Consultium somewhere in the office through means unknown and leave. It's believed this squirming mess of jello consists of the hopes and dreams of regular employees.   Like the ideas they leave behind, the Consultium soon begins to sour. It turns from clear to shades of dark, brackish brown and admit a reek of complete and utter bullshit. Everyone who catches a whiff will be reminded of the stupid idea attached to it, and how much more those consultants were paid than you. Management, on the other hand, seem unable to detect the smell (or the quality of the consultant's designs) - or maybe they're just pretending. Inevitably, the stink permates the office and business, reality catches up, and a new consultant is brought in to fix whatever consequences was wrought by the last gang of parasites, and the cycle of life continues. If the new infection reverses the decision of the last one back to status quo, the Consultium will have an even worse stink to it and employees will despair.   Many have attempted to turn Consultium into something useful, like a biological weapon or maybe some sort of prank product. Agitating the mass only makes it smell worse and seem to make management infuriated, so the best thing to do seem to recommend the consultants services to someone you hate.