Lap-Hog

Dwarven Name: Groth’milkin (“Little Cave Snorter”)

Lap-Hogs are a specially bred, miniature subspecies of the Cave-Hog, a tusked boar-like creature domesticated by the Dwarves of Largitas. Where their larger kin are used for meat, hide, and tunneling work, Lap-Hogs are bred for companionship, warmth, and surprisingly effective home defense.

Beloved across the Dwarven Holds, Lap-Hogs are often considered part pet, part hearth-spirit, and part fuzzy furnace. They are especially popular among elderly Dwarves, single tunnel-dwellers, and members of the Beastmaster’s Guild who "swear it's just for research."

“A Lap-Hog will warm your toes, guard your beard, and judge your life choices—all at once.”
— Common saying about Lap-Hogs

Basic Information

Anatomy

Physical Characteristics

  • Size: Comparable to a large dog, averaging 40–50 cm at the shoulder
  • Weight: 25–40 kg (mostly muscle and stubbornness)
  • Appearance: Short, bristly fur in earthen tones; flat-faced with wide, intelligent eyes; often has decorative harnesses, ear-bells, or beard-braids
  • Tusklets: Still present, but small and usually capped or blunted
  • Scent: Faintly smells of smoked mushrooms and iron—comforting to most Dwarves

Biological Traits

Notable Breeds

  • Ashsnuffler: Soot-black fur, bred for warmth and stealth. Popular with tunnel scouts.
  • Snub-Nosed Flameback: Reddish streaks on the spine, preferred by nobles and chefs alike.
  • Brewbelly: Slightly rounder, often kept by tavernkeepers. Can smell spilled ale from two tunnels away.

Dietary Needs and Habits

Feeding & Care

Lap-Hogs are omnivores but prefer:

  • Tunnelgrains
  • Root-stew leftovers
  • Mushmash scraps
  • Dwarven flatbread (but only if it’s buttered)

Behaviour

Temperament & Behavior

Lap-Hogs are deeply affectionate and territorial. Once bonded with a Dwarf (usually through shared snacks and snoring proximity), they will guard them with a zeal rivaling trained hounds. They are highly trainable, stubbornly clever, and prone to napping in warm hearth-ash.

They squeal when excited, chuff when annoyed, and have a low, comforting grunt when asleep. Their snoring is considered soothing by many Dwarves and is often compared to “a forge softly breathing.”

Additional Information

Domestication

Cultural Role

  • Companionship: Lap-Hogs are often given to widows, veterans, or lonely miners as emotional support companions.
  • Gifts of Status: In certain Holds, gifting a Lap-Hog is a high honor, often tied to oaths of kinship or deep gratitude.
  • Hearth-Hogs: Some are trained to curl around children to keep them warm, earning them the nickname “Living Blankets.”
  • Burial Tradition: In rare cases, Lap-Hogs have been known to lie atop or beside the skull-boxes of their Dwarves for days, refusing food, until they pass. This behavior is seen as deeply sacred.

They need regular hoof-care, mild brushing, and at least one belly rub per day—or they’ll sulk dramatically, often in the doorway.

Genetic Ancestor(s)
Lifespan
50-60 years

Trivia & Oddities

  • Some Lap-Hogs are trained to fetch tools, sniff out rot, or press forge bellows by standing on weighted levers.
  • There are rumors of Lap-Hogs being used as couriers, delivering secret messages tied beneath their belly fur.
  • Their meat is never eaten, considered taboo—a symbol of the sacred bond between Lap-Hog and Hearth.



Cover image: by Appy Pie

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